第 41 节
作者:打倒一切      更新:2021-02-21 13:04      字数:9299
  There was another break for Billy to respond。
  〃You got that right—those boys set one toe out of line and I'm going to know about it。 We'll be keeping
  an eye on the situation; you can be sure of that。〃 He was no longer Charlie; he was Chief Swan now。
  〃Fine。 Yeah。 Goodbye。〃 The phone slammed into the cradle。
  I tiptoed quickly across the hall into my room。 Charlie was muttering angrily in the kitchen。
  So Billy was going to blame me。 I was leading Jacob on and he'd finally had enough。
  It was strange; for I'd feared that myself; but after the last thing Jacob had said this afternoon; I didn't
  believe it anymore。 There was much more to this than an unrequited crush; and it surprised me that Billy
  would stoop to claiming that。 It made me think that whatever secret they were keeping was bigger than
  I'd been imagining。 At least Charlie was on my side now。
  I put my pajamas on and crawled into bed。 Life seemed dark enough at the moment chat I let myself
  cheat。 The hole—holes now—were already aching; so why not? I pulled out the memory—nor a real
  memory that would hurt too much; but the false memory of Edward's voice in my mind this
  afternoon—and played it over and over in my head until I fell asleep with the tears still streaming calmly
  down my empty face。
  It was a new dream tonight。 Rain was falling and Jacob was walking soundlessly beside me; though
  beneath my feet the ground crunched like dry gravel。 But he wasn't my Jacob; he was the new; bitter;
  graceful Jacob。 The smooth suppleness of his walk reminded me of someone else; and; as I watched; his
  features started to change。 The russet color of his skin leached away; leaving his face pale white like
  bone。 His eyes turned gold; and then crimson; and then back to gold again。 His shorn hair twisted in the
  breeze; turning bronze where the wind touched it。 And his face became so beautiful that it shattered my
  heart。 I reached for him; but he took a step away; raising his hands like a shield。 And then Edward
  vanished。
  I wasn't sure; when I woke in the dark; if I'd just begun crying; or if my tears had run while I slept and
  simply continued now。 I stared at my dark ceiling。 I could feel that it was the middle of the night—I was
  still half…asleep; maybe more than half。 I closed my eyes wearily and prayed for a dreamless sleep。
  That's when I heard the noise that must have wakened me in the first place。 Something sharp scraped
  along the length of my window with a high…pitched squeal; like fingernails against the glass。
  12。 INTRUDER
  MY EYES FLEW WIDE OPEN WITH FRIGHT; THOUGH I WAS so exhausted and muddled that I
  was not yet positive whether I was awake or asleep。
  Something scratched against my window again with the same thin; high…pitched sound。
  Confused and clumsy with sleep; I stumbled out of my bed and to the window; blinking the lingering tears
  from my eyes on the way。
  A huge; dark shape wobbled erratically on the other side of the glass; lurching toward me like it was
  going to smash right through。 I staggered back; terrified; my throat closing around a scream。
  Victoria。
  She'd come for me。
  I was dead。
  Not Charlie; too!
  I choked back the building scream。 I would have to keep quiet through this。 Somehow。 I had to keep
  Charlie from coming to investigate…
  And then a familiar; husky voice called from the dark shape。
  〃Bella!〃 it hissed。 〃Ouch! Damn it; open the window! OUCH!〃
  I needed two seconds to shake off the horror before I could move; but then I hurried to the window and
  shoved the glass out of the way。 The clouds were dimly lit from behind; enough for me to make sense of
  the shapes。
  〃What are you doing?〃 I gasped。
  Jacob was clinging precariously to the top of the spruce that grew in the middle of Charlie's little front
  yard。 His weight had bowed the tree toward the house and he now swung—his legs dangling twenty feet
  above the ground—not a yard away from me。 The thin branches at the tip of the tree scraped against the
  side of the house again with a grating squeal。
  〃I'm trying to keep〃—he huffed; shifting his weight as the treetop bounced him—〃my promise!〃
  I blinked my wet blurry eyes; suddenly sure that I was dreaming。
  〃When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie's tree?〃
  He snorted; unamused; swinging his legs to improve his balance。 〃Get out of the way;〃 he ordered。
  〃What?〃
  He swung his legs again; backwards and forward; increasing his momentum。 I realized what he was ttying
  to do。
  〃No; Jake!〃
  But I ducked to the side; aecause it was too late。 With a grunt; he launched himself toward my open
  window。
  Another scream built in my throat as I waited for him to fall to his death—or at least maim himself against
  the wooden siding。 To my shock; he swung agilely into my room; landing on the balls of his feet with a
  low thud。
  We both looked to the door automatically; holding our breath; waiting to see if the noise had woken
  Charlie。 A short moment of silence passed; and then we heard the muffled sound of Charlie's snore。
  A wide grin spread slowly across Jacob's face; he seemed extremely pleased with himself。 It wasn't the
  grin that I knew and loved—it was a new grin; one that was a bitter mockery of his old sincerity; on the
  new face that belonged to Sam。
  That was a bit much for me。
  I'd cried myself to sleep over this boy。 His harsh rejection had punched a painful new hole in what was
  left of my chest。 He'd left a new nightmare behind him; like an infection in a sore—the insult after the
  injury。 And now he was here in my room; smirking at me as if none of that had passed。 Worse than that;
  even though his arrival had been noisy and awkward; it reminded me of when Edward used to sneak in
  through my window at night; and the reminder picked viciously at the unhealed wounds。
  All of this; coupled with the fact that I was dog…tired; did not put me in a friendly mood。
  〃Get out!〃 I hissed; putting as much venom into the whisper as I could。
  He blinked; his face going blank with surprise。
  〃No;〃 he protested。 〃I came to apologize。〃
  〃I don't accept!〃
  I tried to shove him back out the window—after all; if this was a dream; it wouldn't really hurt him。 It was
  useless; though。 I didn't budge him an inch。 I dropped my hands quickly; and stepped away from him。
  He wasn't wearing a shirt; though the air blowing in the window was cold enough to make me shiver; and
  it made me uncomfortable to have my hands on his bare chest。 His skin was burning hot; like his head
  had been the last time I'd touched him。 Like he was still sick with the fever。
  He didn't look sick。 He looked huge。 He leaned over me; so big that he blacked out the window;
  tongue…tied by my furious reaction。
  Suddenly; it was just more than I could handle—it felt as if all of my sleepless nights were crashing down
  on me en masse。 I was so brutally tired that I thought I might collapse right there on the floor。 I swayed
  unsteadily; and struggled to keep my eyes open。
  〃Bella?〃 Jacob whispered anxiously。 He caught my elbow as I swayed again; and steered me back to the
  bed。 My legs gave out when I reached the edge; and I plopped into a limp heap on the mattress。
  〃Hey; are you okay?〃 Jacob asked; worry creasing his forehead。
  I looked up at him; the tears not yet dried on my cheeks。 〃Why in the world would I be okay; Jacob?〃
  Anguish replaced some of the bitterness in his face。 〃Right;〃 he agreed; and took a deep breath。 〃Crap。
  Well… I—I'm so sorry; Bella。〃 The apology was sincere; no doubt about it; though there was still an
  angry twist to his features。
  〃Why did you come here? I don't want apologies from you; Jake。〃
  〃I know;〃 he whispered。 〃But I couldn't leave things the way I did this afternoon。 Thar was horrible。 I'm
  sorry。〃
  I shook my head wearily。 〃I don't understand anything。〃
  〃I know。 I want to explain—〃 He broke off suddenly; his mouth open; almost like something had cut off
  his air。 Then he sucked in a deep breath。 〃But I can't explain;〃 he said; still angry。 〃I wish I could。〃
  I let my head fall into my hands。 My question came out muffled by my arm。 〃Why?〃
  He was quiet for a moment。 I twisted my head to the side—too tired to hold it up—to see his expression。
  It surprised me。 His eyes were squinted; his teeth clenched; his forehead wrinkled in effort。
  〃What's wrong?〃 I asked。
  He exhaled heavily; and I realized he'd been holding his breath; too。 〃I can't do it;〃 he muttered;
  frustrated。
  〃Do what?〃
  He ignored my question。 〃Look; Bella; haven't you ever had a secret that you couldn't tell anyone?〃
  He looked at me with knowing eyes; and my thoughts jumped immediately to the Cullens。 I hoped my
  expression didn't look guilty。
  〃Something you felt like you had to keep from Charlie; from your mom… ?〃 he pressed。 〃Something you
  won't even talk about with me? Not even now?〃
  I felt my eyes tighten。 I didn't answer his question; though I knew he would take that as a confirmation。
  〃Can you understand that I might have the same kind of… situation?〃 He was struggling again; seem