Laurent　might　be　searching　for　me。　The　thought　of　it　made　me　feel　sick。
  〃Are　you　hungry？〃　he　asked　me　when　he　hung　up　the　phone。
  I　shook　my　head；　though　I　must　have　been　starving。　I　hadn't　eaten　all　day。
  〃Just　tired；〃　I　told　him。　I　turned　for　the　stairs。
  〃Hey；〃　Charlie　said；　his　voice　suddenly　suspicious　again。　〃Didn't　you　say　Jacob　was　gone　for　the　day？〃
  〃That's　what　Billy　said；〃　I　told　him；　confused　by　his　question。
  He　studied　my　expression　for　a　minute；　and　seemed　satisfied　with　what　he　saw　there。
  〃Huh。〃
  〃Why？〃　I　demanded。　It　sounded　like　he　was　implying　that　I'd　been　lying　to　him　this　morning。　About
  something　besides　studying　with　Jessica。
  〃Well；　it's　just　that　when　I　went　to　pick　up　Harry；　I　saw　Jacob　out　in　front　of　the　store　down　there　with
  some　of　his　friends。　I　waved　hi；　but　he…　well；　I　guess　I　don't　know　if　he　saw　me。　I　think　maybe　he　was
  arguing　with　his　friends。　He　looked　strange；　like　he　was　upset　about　something。　And…　different。　It's　like
  you　can　watch　that　kid　growing！　He　gets　bigger　every　time　I　see　him。〃
  〃Billy　said　Jake　and　his　friends　were　going　up　to　Port　Angeles　to　see　some　movies。　They　were　probably
  just　waiting　for　someone　to　meet　them。〃
  〃Oh。〃　Charlie　nodded　and　headed　for　the　kitchen。
  I　stood　in　the　hall；　thinking　about　Jacob　arguing　with　his　friends。　I　wondered　if　he　had　confronted　Embry
  about　the　situation　with　Sam。　Maybe　that　was　the　reason　he'd　ditched　me　today—if　it　meant　he　could
  sort　things　out　with　Embry；　I　was　glad　he　had。
  I　paused　to　check　the　locks　again　before　I　went　to　my　room。　It　was　a　silly　thing　to　do。　What　difference
  would　a　lock　make　to　any　of　the　monsters　I'd　seen　this　afternoon？　I　assumed　the　handle　alone　would
  stymie　the　wolves；　not　having　opposable　thumbs。　And　if　Laurent　came　here…
  Or…　Victoria。
  I　lay　down　on　my　bed；　but　I　was　shaking　too　hard　to　hope　for　sleep。　I　curled　into　a　cramped　ball　under
  my　quilt；　and　faced　the　horrifying　facts。
  There　was　nothing　I　could　do。　There　were　no　precautions　I　could　take。　There　was　no　place　I　could　hide。
  There　was　no　one　who　could　help　me。
  I　realized；　with　a　nauseous　roll　of　my　stomach；　that　the　situation　was　worse　than　even　that。　Because　all
  those　facts　applied　to　Charlie；　too。　My　father；　sleeping　one　room　away　from　me；　was　just　a　hairsbreadth
  off　the　heart　of　the　target　that　was　centered　on　me。　My　scent　would　lead　them　here；　whether　I　was　here
  or　not。
  The　tremors　rocked　me　until　my　teeth　chattered。
  To　calm　myself；　I　fantasized　the　impossible：　I　imagined　the　big　wolves　catching　up　to　Laurent　in　the
  woods　and　massacring　the　indestructible　immortal　the　way　they　would　any　normal　person。　Despite　the
  absurdity　of　such　a　vision；　the　idea　comforted　me。　If　the　wolves　got　him；　then　he　couldn't　tell　Victoria　I
  was　here　all　alone。　If　he　didn't　return；　maybe　she'd　think　the　Cullens　were　still　protecting　me。　If　only　the
  wolves　could　win　such　a　fight…
  My　good　vampires　were　never　coming　back；　how　soothing　it　was　to　imagine　that　the　other　kind　could
  also　disappear。
  I　squeezed　my　eyes　tight　together　and　waited　for　unconsciousness—almost　eager　for　my　nightmare　to
  start。　Better　that　than　the　pale；　beautiful　face　that　smiled　at　me　now　from　behind　my　lids。
  In　my　imagination；　Victoria's　eyes　were　black　with　thirst；　bright　with　anticipation；　and　her　lips　curled　back
  from　her　gleaming　teeth　in　pleasure。　Her　red　hair　was　brilliant　as　fire；　it　blew　chaotically　around　her　wild
  face。
  Laurent's　words　repeated　in　my　head。　If　you　knew　what　she　had　planned　for　you　…
  I　pressed　my　fist　against　my　mouth　to　keep　from　screaming。
  11。　CULT
  EACH　TIME　THAT　I　OPENED　MY　EYES　TO　THE　MORNING　light　and　realized　I'd　lived　through
  another　night　was　a　surprise　to　me。　After　the　surprise　wore　off；　my　heart　would　start　to　race　and　my
  palms　would　sweat；　I　couldn't　really　breathe　again　until　I'd　gotten　up　and　ascertained　that　Charlie　had
  survived　as　well。
  I　could　tell　he　was　worried—watching　me　jump　at　any　loud　sound；　or　my　face　suddenly　go　white　for　no
  reason　that　he　could　see。　From　the　questions　he　asked　now　and　then；　he　seemed　to　blame　the　change　on
  Jacob's　continued　absence。
  The　terror　that　was　always　foremost　in　my　thoughts　usually　distracted　me　from　the　fact　that　another　week
  had　passed；　and　Jacob　still　hadn't　called　me。　But　when　I　was　able　to　concentrate　on　my　normal　life—if
  my　life　was　really　ever　normal—this　upset　me。
  I　missed　him　horribly。
  It　had　been　bad　enough　to　be　alone　before　I　was　scared　silly。　Now；　more　than　ever；　I　yearned　for　his
  carefree　laugh　and　his　infectious　grin。　I　needed　the　safe　sanity　of　his　homemade　garage　and　his　warm
  hand　around　my　cold　fingers。
  I'd　half　expected　him　to　call　on　Monday。　If　there　had　been　some　progress　with　Embry；　wouldn't　he　want
  to　report　it？　I　wanted　to　believe　that　it　was　worry　for　his　friend　that　was　occupying　all　his　time；　not　that　he
  was　just　giving　up　on　me。
  I　called　him　Tuesday；　but　no　one　answered。　Were　the　phone　lines　still　having　problems？　Or　had　Billy
  invested　in　caller　I。D。？
  On　Wednesday　I　called　every　half　hour　until　after　eleven　at　night；　desperate　to　hear　the　warmth　of
  Jacob's　voice。
  Thursday　I　sat　in　my　truck　in　front　of　my　house—with　the　locks　pushed　down—keys　in　hand；　for　a　solid
  hour。　I　was　arguing　with　myself；　trying　to　justify　a　quick　trip　to　La　Push；　but　I　couldn't　do　it。
  I　knew　that　Laurent　had　gone　back　to　Victoria　by　now。　If　I　went　to　La　Push；　I　took　the　chance　of　leading
  one　of　them　there。　What　if　they　caught　up　to　me　when　Jake　was　nearby？　As　much　as　it　hurt　me；　I　knew　it
  was　better　for　Jacob　that　he　was　avoiding　me。　Safer　for　him。
  It　was　bad　enough　that　I　couldn't　figure　out　a　way　to　keep　Charlie　safe。　Nighttime　was　the　most　likely
  time　that　they　would　come　looking　ior　me；　and　what　could　I　say　to　get　Charlie　out　of　the　house？　If　I　told
  him　the　truth；　he'd　have　me　locked　up　in　a　rubber　room　somewhere。　I　would　have　endured
  that—welcomed　it；　even—if　it　could　have　kept　him　safe。　But　Victoria　would　still　come　to　his　house　first；
  looking　for　me。　Maybe；　if　she　found　me　here；　that　would　be　enough　for　her。　Maybe　she　would　just　leave
  when　she　was　done　with　me。
  So　I　couldn't　run　away。　Even　if　I　could；　where　would　I　go？　To　Renee？　I　shuddered　at　the　thought　of
  dragging　my　lethal　shadows　into　my　mother's　safe；　sunny　world。　I　would　never　endanger　her　that　way。
  The　worry　was　eating　a　hole　in　my　stomach。　Soon　I　would　have　matching　punctures。
  That　night；　Charlie　did　me　another　favor　and　called　Harry　again　to　see　if　the　Blacks　were　out　of　town。
  Harry　reported　that　Billy　had　attended　the　council　meeting　Wednesday　night；　and　never　mentioned
  anything　about　leaving。　Charlie　warned　me　not　to　make　a　nuisance　of　myself—Jacob　would　call　when　he
  got　around　to　it。
  Friday　afternoon；　as　I　drove　home　from　school；　it　hit　me　out　of　the　blue。
  I　wasn't　paying　attention　to　the　familiar　road；　letting　the　sound　of　the　engine　deaden　my　brain　and　silence
  the　worries；　when　my　subconscious　delivered　a　verdict　it　must　have　been　working　on　for　some　time
  without　my　knowledge。
  As　soon　as　I　thought　of　it；　I　felt　really　stupid　for　not　seeing　it　sooner。　Sure。　I'd　had　a　lot　on　my
  mind—revenue…obsessed　vampires；　giant　mutant　wolves；　a　ragged　hole　in　the　center　of　my　chest—but
  when　I　laid　the　evidence　out；　it　was　embarrassingly　obvious。
  Jacob　avoiding　me。　Charlie　saying　he　looked　strange；　upset。　。　。　。　Billy's　vague；　unhelpful　answers。
  Holy　crow；　I　knew　exactly　what　was　going　on　with　Jacob。
  It　was　Sam　Uley。　Even　my　nightmares　had　been　trying　to　tell　me　that。　Sam　had　gotten　to　Jacob。
  Whatever　was　happening　to　the　other　boys　on　the　reservation　had　reached　out　and　stolen　my　friend。
  He'd　been　sucked　into　Sam's　cult。
  He　hadn't　given　up　on　me　at　all；　I　realized　with　a　rush　of　feeling。
  I　let　my　truck　idle　in　front　of　my　house。　What　should　I　do？　I　weighed　the　dangers　against　each　other。
  If　I　went　looking　for　Jacob；　I　risked　the　chance　of　Victoria　or　Laurent　finding　me　with　him。
  If　I　didn't　go　after　him；　Sam　would　pull　him　deeper　into　his　frightening；　compulsory　gang。　Maybe　it　would
  be　too　late　if　I　didn't　act　soon。
  It　had　been　a　week；　and　no　vampires　had　come　for　me　yet。　A　week　was　more　than　enough　time　for　them
  to　have　returned；　so　I　must　not　be　a　priority。　Most　likely；　as　I'd　decided　before；　they　would　come　for　me
  at　night。　The　chances　of　them　following　me　to　La　Push　were　much　lower　than　the　chance　of　losing　Jacob
  to　Sam。
  It　was　worth　the　danger　of　the　secluded　forest　road。　This　was　no　idle　visit　to　see　what　was　going　on。　I
  knew　what　was　going　on。　This　was　a　rescue　mission。　I　was　going　to　talk　to　Jacob—kidnap　him　if　I　had
  to。　I'd　once　seen　a　PBS　show　on　deprogramming　the　brainwashed。　There　had　to　be　some　kind　of　cure。
  I　decided　I'd　better　call　Charlie　first。　Maybe　whatever　was　going　on　down　in　La　Push　was　something　the
  police　should　be　involved　in。　I　dashed　inside；　in　a　hurry　to　be　on　my　way。
  Charlie　answered　the　phone　it　the　station　himself。
  〃Chief　Swan。〃
  〃Dad；　it's　Bella。〃
  〃What's　wrong？'〃
  I　couldn't　argue　with　his　doom