to　Edward　or　the　rest　of　the　Cullens。　It　was　just　something　that　accumulated　when　you　had　unlimited　time
  on　your　hands　and　a　sister　who　had　an　uncanny　ability　to　predict　trends　in　the　stock　market。　Edward
  didn't　seem　to　understand　why　I　objected　to　him　spending　money　on　me—why　it　made　me
  uncomfortable　if　he　took　me　to　an　expensive　restaurant　in　Seattle；　why　he　wasn't　allowed　to　buy　me　a　car
  that　could　reach　speeds　over　fifty…five　miles　an　hour；　or　why　I　wouldn't　let　him　pay　my　college　tuition　（he
  was　ridiculously　enthusiastic　about　Plan　B）。　Edward　thought　I　was　being　unnecessarily　difficult。
  But　how　could　I　let　him　give　me　things　when　I　had　nothing　to　reciprocate　with？　He；　for　some
  unfathomable　reason；　wanted　to　be　with　me。　Anything　he　gave　me　on　top　of　that　just　threw　us　more　out
  of　balance。
  As　the　day　went　on；　neither　Edward　nor　Alice　brought　my　birthday　up　again；　and　I　began　to　relax　a　little。
  We　sat　at　our　usual　table　for　lunch。
  A　strange　kind　of　truce　existed　at　that　table。　The　three　of　us—Edward；　Alice；　and　I—sat　on　the　extreme
  southern　end　of　the　table。　Now　that　the　〃older〃　and　somewhat　scarier　（in　Emmett's　case；　certainly）　Cullen
  siblings　had　graduated；　Alice　and　Edward　did　not　seem　quite　so　intimidating；　and　we　did　not　sit　here
  alone。　My　other　friends；　Mike　and　Jessica　（who　were　in　the　awkward　post…breakup　friendship　phase）；
  Angela　and　Ben　（whose　relationship　had　survived　the　summer）；　Eric；　Conner；　Tyler；　and　Lauren　（though
  that　last　one　didn't　really　count　in　the　friend　category）　all　sat　at　the　same　table；　on　the　other　side　of　an
  invisible　line。　That　line　dissolved　on　sunny　days　when　Edward　and　Alice　always　skipped　school；　and　then
  the　conversation　would　swell　out　effortlessly　to　include　me。
  Edward　and　Alice　didn't　find　this　minor　ostracism　odd　or　hurtful　the　way　I　would　have。　They　barely
  noticed　it。　People　always　felt　strangely　ill　at　ease　with　the　Cullens；　almost　afraid　for　some　reason　they
  couldn't　explain　to　themselves。　I　was　a　rare　exception　to　that　rule。　Sometimes　it　bothered　Edward　how
  very　comfortable　I　was　with　being　close　to　him。　He　thought　he　was　hazardous　to　my　health—an　opinion　I
  rejected　vehemently　whenever　he　voiced　it。
  The　afternoon　passed　quickly。　School　ended；　and　Edward　walked　me　to　my　truck　as　he　usually　did。　But
  this　time；　he　held　the　passenger　door　open　for　me。　Alice　must　have　been　taking　his　car　home　so　that　he
  could　keep　me　from　making　a　run　for　it。
  I　folded　my　arms　and　made　no　move　to　get　out　of　the　rain。　〃It's　my　birthday；　don't　I　get　to　drive？〃
  〃I'm　pretending　it's　not　your　birthday；　just　as　you　wished。〃
  〃If　it's　not　my　birthday；　then　I　don't　have　to　go　to　your　house　tonight…〃
  〃All　right。〃　He　shut　the　passenger　door　and　walked　past　me　to　open　the　driver's　side。　〃Happy　birthday。〃
  〃Shh；〃　I　shushed　him　halfheartedly。　I　climbed　in　the　opened　door；　wishing　he'd　taken　the　other　offer。
  Edward　played　with　the　radio　while　I　drove；　shaking　his　head　in　disapproval。
  〃Your　radio　has　horrible　reception。〃
  I　frowned。　I　didn't　like　it　when　he　picked　on　my　truck。　The　truck　was　great—it　had　personality。
  〃You　want　a　nice　stereo？　Drive　your　own　car。〃　I　was　so　nervous　about　Alice's　plans；　on　top　of　my
  already　gloomy　mood；　that　the　words　came　out　sharper　than　I'd　meant　them。　I　was　hardly　ever
  bad…tempered　with　Edward；　and　my　tone　made　him　press　his　lips　together　to　keep　from　smiling。
  When　I　parked　in　front　of　Charlie's　house；　he　reached　over　to　take　my　face　in　his　hands。　He　handled　me
  very　carefully；　pressing　just　the　tips　of　his　fingers　softly　against　my　temples；　my　cheekbones；　my　jawline。
  Like　I　was　especially　breakable。　Which　was　exactly　the　case—compared　with　him；　at　least。
  〃You　should　be　in　a　good　mood；　today　of　all　days；〃　he　whispered。　His　sweet　breath　fanned　across　my
  face。
  〃And　if　I　don't　want　to　be　in　a　good　mood？〃　I　asked；　my　breathing　uneven。
  His　golden　eyes　smoldered。　〃Too　bad。〃
  My　head　was　already　spinning　by　the　time　he　leaned　closer　and　pressed　his　icy　lips　against　mine。　As　he
  intended；　no　doubt；　I　forgot　all　about　my　worries；　and　concentrated　on　remembering　how　to　inhale　and
  exhale。
  His　mouth　lingered　on　mine；　cold　and　smooth　and　gentle；　until　I　wrapped　my　arms　around　his　neck　and
  threw　myself　into　the　kiss　with　a　little　too　much　enthusiasm。　I　could　feel　his　lips　curve　upward　as　he　let　go
  of　my　face　and　reached　back　to　unlock　my　grip　on　him。
  Edward　had　drawn　many　careful　lines　for　our　physical　relationship；　with　the　intent　being　to　keep　me　alive。
  Though　I　respected　the　need　for　maintaining　a　safe　distance　between　my　skin　and　his　razor…sharp；
  venom…coated　teeth；　I　tended　to　forget　about　trivial　things　like　that　when　he　was　kissing　me。
  〃Be　good；　please；〃　he　breathed　against　my　cheek。　He　pressed　his　lips　gently　to　mine　one　more　time　and
  then　pulled　away；　folding　my　arms　across　my　stomach。
  My　pulse　was　thudding　in　my　ears。　I　put　one　hand　over　my　heart。　It　drummed　hyperactively　under　my
  palm。
  〃Do　you　think　I'll　ever　get　better　at　this？〃　I　wondered；　mostly　to　myself。　〃That　my　heart　might　someday
  stop　trying　to　jump　out　of　my　chest　whenever　you　touch　me？〃
  〃I　really　hope　not；〃　he　said；　a　bit　smug。
  I　rolled　my　eyes。　〃Let's　go　watch　the　Capulets　and　Montagues　hack　each　other　up；　all　right？〃
  〃Your　wish；　my　command。〃
  Edward　sprawled　across　the　couch　while　I　started　the　movie；　fast…forwarding　through　the　opening
  credits。
  When　I　perched　on　the　edge　of　the　sofa　in　front　of　him；　he　wrapped　his　arms　around　my　waist　and　pulled
  me　against　his　chest。　It　wasn't　exactly　as　comfortable　as　a　sofa　cushion　would　be；　what　with　his　chest
  being　hard　and　cold—and　perfect—as　an　ice　sculpture；　but　it　was　definitely　preferable。　He　pulled　the　old
  afghan　off　the　back　of　the　couch　and　draped　it　over　me　so　I　wouldn't　freeze　beside　his　body。
  〃You　know；　I've　never　had　much　patience　with　Romeo；〃　he　commented　as　the　movie　started。
  〃What's　wrong　with　Romeo？〃　I　asked；　a　little　offended。　Romeo　was　one　of　my　favorite　fictional
  characters。　Until　I'd　met　Edward；　I'd　sort　of　had　a　thing　for　him。
  〃Well；　first　of　all；　he's　in　love　with　this　Rosaline—don't　you　think　it　makes　him　seem　a　little　fickle？　And
  then；　a　few　minutes　after　their　wedding；　he　kills　Juliet's　cousin。　That's　not　very　brilliant。　Mistake　after
  mistake。　Could　he　have　destroyed　his　own　happiness　any　more　thoroughly？〃
  I　sighed。　〃Do　you　want　me　to　watch　this　alone？〃
  〃No；　I'll　mostly　be　watching　you；　anyway。〃　His　fingers　traced　patterns　across　the　skin　of　my　arm；　raising
  goose　bumps。　〃Will　you　cry？〃
  〃Probably；〃　I　admitted；　〃if　I'm　paying　attention。〃
  〃I　won't　distract　you　then。〃　But　I　felt　his　lips　on　my　hair；　and　it　was　very　distracting。
  The　movie　eventually　captured　my　interest；　thanks　in　large　part　to　Edward　whispering　Romeo's　lines　in
  my　ear—his　irresistible；　velvet　voice　made　the　actor's　voice　sound　weak　and　coarse　by　comparison。　And
  I　did　cry；　to　his　amusement；　when　Juliet　woke　and　found　her　new　husband　dead。
  〃I'll　admit；　I　do　sort　of　envy　him　here；〃　Edward　said；　drying　the　tears　with　a　lock　of　my　hair。
  〃She's　very　pretty。〃
  He　made　a　disgusted　sound。　〃I　don't　envy　him　the　girl—just　the　ease　of　the　suicide；〃　he　clarified　in　a
  teasing　tone。　〃You　humans　have　it　so　easy！　All　you　have　to　do　is　throw　down　one　tiny　vial　of　plant
  extracts…〃
  〃What？〃　I　gasped。
  〃It's　something　I　had　to　think　about　once；　and　I　knew　from　Carlisle's　experience　that　it　wouldn't　be
  simple。　I'm　not　even　sure　how　many　ways　Carlisle　tried　to　kill　himself　in　the　beginning…　after　he　realized
  what　he'd　become…〃　His　voice；　which　had　grown　serious；　turned　light　again。　〃And　he's　clearly　still　in
  excellent　health。〃
  I　twisted　around　so　that　I　could　read　his　face。　〃What　are　you　talking　about？〃　I　demanded。　〃What　do　you
  mean；　this　something　you　had　to　think　about　once？〃
  〃Last　spring；　when　you　were…　nearly　killed…〃　He　paused　to　take　a　deep　breath；　snuggling　to　return　to
  his　teasing　tone。　〃Of　course　I　was　trying　to　focus　on　finding　you　alive；　but　part　of　my　mind　was　making
  contingency　plans。　Like　I　said；　it's　not　as　easy　for　me　as　it　is　for　a　human。〃
  For　one　second；　the　memory　of　my　last　trip　to　Phoenix　washed　through　my　head　and　made　me　feel　dizzy。
  I　could　see　it　all　so　clearly—the　blinding　sun；　the　heat　waves　coming　off　the　concrete　as　I　ran　with
  desperate　haste　to　find　the　sadistic　vampire　who　wanted　to　torture　me　to　death。　James；　waiting　in　the
  mirrored　room　with　my　mother　as　his　hostage—or　so　I'd　thought。　I　hadn't　known　it　was　all　a　ruse。　Just　as
  James　hadn't　known　that　Edward　was　racing　to　save　me；　Edward　made　it　in　time；　but　it　had　been　a　close
  one。　Unthinkingly；　my　fingers　traced　the　crescent…shaped　scar　on　my　hand　that　was　always　just　a　few
  degrees　cooler　than　the　rest　of　my　skin。
  I　shook　my　head—as　if　I　could　shake　away　the　bad　memories—and　tried　to　grasp　what　Edward　meant。
  My　stomach　plunged　uncomfortably。　〃Contingency　plans？〃　I　repeated。
  〃Well；　I　wasn't　going　to　live　without　you。〃　He　rolled　his　eyes　as　if　that　fact　were　childishly　obvious。　〃But　I
  wasn't　sure　how　to　do　it—I　knew　Emmett　and　Jasper　wo