第 6 节
作者:一意孤行      更新:2021-02-21 12:14      字数:9322
  now and then a horse sneezed。  These things only emphasised the solemnity
  and the stillness。  Everybody got so listless that for once I and my
  dreamer found ourselves in the lead。  It was a glad; new sensation; and
  I longed to keep the place forevermore。  Every little stir in the dingy
  cavalcade behind made me nervous。  Davis and I were riding side by side;
  right after the Arab。  About 11 o'clock it had become really chilly; and
  the dozing boys roused up and began to inquire how far it was to Ramlah
  yet; and to demand that the Arab hurry along faster。  I gave it up then;
  and my heart sank within me; because of course they would come up to
  scold the Arab。  I knew I had to take the rear again。  In my sorrow I
  unconsciously took to my pipe; my only comfort。  As I touched the match
  to it the whole company came lumbering up and crowding my horse's rump
  and flanks。  A whiff of smoke drifted back over my shoulder; and
  〃The suffering Moses!〃
  〃Whew!〃
  〃By George; who opened that graveyard?〃
  〃Boys; that Arab's been swallowing something dead!〃
  Right away there was a gap behind us。  Whiff after whiff sailed airily
  back; and each one widened the breach。  Within fifteen seconds the
  barking; and gasping; and sneezing; and coughing of the boys; and their
  angry abuse of the Arab guide; had dwindled to a murmur; and Davis and I
  were alone with the leader。  Davis did not know what the matter was; and
  don't to this day。  Occasionally he caught a faint film of the smoke and
  fell to scolding at the Arab and wondering how long he had been decaying
  in that way。  Our boys kept on dropping back further and further; till at
  last they were only in hearing; not in sight。  And every time they
  started gingerly forward to reconnoitre or shoot the Arab; as they
  proposed to doI let them get within good fair range of my relic (she
  would carry seventy yards with wonderful precision); and then wafted a
  whiff among them that sent them gasping and strangling to the rear again。
  I kept my gun well charged and ready; and twice within the hour I decoyed
  the boys right up to my horse's tail; and then with one malarious blast
  emptied the saddles; almost。  I never heard an Arab abused so in my life。
  He really owed his preservation to me; because for one entire hour I
  stood between him and certain death。  The boys would have killed him if
  they could have got by me。
  By and by; when the company were far in the rear; I put away my pipe
  I was getting fearfully dry and crisp about the gills and rather blown
  with good diligent workand spurred my animated trance up alongside the
  Arab and stopped him and asked for water。  He unslung his little gourd…
  shaped earthenware jug; and I put it under my moustache and took a long;
  glorious; satisfying draught。  I was going to scour the mouth of the jug
  a little; but I saw that I had brought the whole train together once more
  by my delay; and that they were all anxious to drink too…and would have
  been long ago if the Arab had not pretended that he was out of water。
  So I hastened to pass the vessel to Davis。  He took a mouthful; and never
  said a word; but climbed off his horse and lay down calmly in the road。
  I felt sorry for Davis。  It was too late now; though; and Dan was
  drinking。  Dan got down too; and hunted for a soft place。  I thought I
  heard Dan say; 〃That Arab's friends ought to keep him in alcohol or else
  take him out and bury him somewhere。〃  All the boys took a drink and
  climbed down。  It is not well to go into further particulars。  Let us
  draw the curtain upon this act。
  。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
  Well; now; to think that after three changing years I should hear from
  that curious old relic again; and see Dan advertising it for sale for the
  benefit of a benevolent object。  Dan is not treating that present right。
  I gave that pipe to him for a keepsake。  However; he probably finds that
  it keeps away custom and interferes with business。  It is the most
  convincing inanimate object in all this part of the world; perhaps。  Dan
  and I were roommates in all that long 〃Quaker City〃 voyage; and whenever
  I desired to have a little season of privacy I used to fire up on that
  pipe and persuade Dan to go out; and he seldom waited to change his
  clothes; either。  In about a quarter; or from that to three…quarters of a
  minute; be would be propping up the smoke…stack on the upper deck and
  cursing。  I wonder how the faithful old relic is going to sell?
  A REMINISCENCE OF THE BACK SETTLEMENTS
  Now that corpse 'said the undertaker; patting the folded hands of the
  deceased approvingly was a brick…every way you took him he was a brick。
  He was so real accommodating; and so modest…like and simple in his last
  moments。  Friends wanted metallic burial casenothing else would do。
  I couldn't get it。  There warn't going to be time anybody could see that。
  Corpse said never mind; shake him up some kind of a box he could stretch
  out in comfortable; he warn't particular 'bout the general style of it。
  Said he went more on room than style; any way; in the last final
  container。  Friends wanted a silver door…plate on the coffin; signifying
  who he was and wher; he was from。  Now you know a fellow couldn't roust
  out such a gaily thing as that in a little country town like this。  What
  did corpse say?  Corpse said; whitewash his old canoe and dob his address
  and general destination onto it with a blacking brush and a stencil
  plate; long with a verse from some likely hymn or other; and pint him for
  the tomb; and mark him C。 O。 D。; and just let him skip along。  He warn't
  distressed any more than you beon the contrary just as carm and
  collected as a hearse…horse; said he judged that wher' he was going to;
  a body would find it considerable better to attract attention by a
  picturesque moral character than a natty burial case with a swell
  doorplate on it。  Splendid man; he was。  I'd druther do for a corpse like
  that 'n any I've tackled in seven year。  There's some satisfaction in
  buryin' a man like that。  You feel that what you're doing is appreciated。
  Lord bless you; so's he got planted before he sp'iled; he was perfectly
  satisfied; said his relations meant well; perfectly well; but all them
  preparations was bound to delay the thing more or less; and he didn't
  wish to be kept layin' round。  You never see such a clear head as what he
  hadand so carm and so cool。  Just a hunk of brains that is what he was。
  Perfectly awful。  It was a ripping distance from one end of that man's
  head to t'other。  Often and over again he's had brain fever a…raging in
  one place; and the rest of the pile didn't know anything about itdidn't
  affect it any more than an Injun insurrection in Arizona affects the
  Atlantic States。  Well; the relations they wanted a big funeral; but
  corpse said he was down on flummerydidn't want any processionfill the
  hearse full of mourners; and get out a stern line and tow him behind。
  He was the most down on style of any remains I ever struck。  A beautiful;
  simple…minded creatureit was what he was; you can depend on that。  He
  was just set on having things the way he wanted them; and he took a solid
  comfort in laying his little plans。  He had me measure him and take a
  whole raft of directions; then he had a minister stand up behind a long
  box with a tablecloth over it and read his funeral sermon; saying
  'Angcore; angcore!' at the good places; and making him scratch out every
  bit of brag about him; and all the hifalutin; and then he made them trot
  out the choir so's he could help them pick out the tunes for the
  occasion; and he got them to sing 'Pop Goes the Weasel;' because he'd
  always liked that tune when he was downhearted; and solemn music made him
  sad; and when they sung that with tears in their eyes (because they all
  loved him); and his relations grieving around; he just laid there as
  happy as a bug; and trying to beat time and showing all over how much he
  enjoyed it; and presently he got worked up and excited; and tried to join
  in; for mind you he was pretty proud of his abilities in the singing
  line; but the first time he opened his mouth and was just going to spread
  himself; his breath took a walk。  I never see a man snuffed out so
  sudden。  Ah; it was a great lossit was a powerful loss to this poor
  little one…horse town。  Well; well; well; I hain't got time to be
  palavering along heregot to nail on the lid and mosey along with' him;
  and if you'll just give me a lift we'll skeet him into the hearse and
  meander along。  Relations bound to have it sodon't pay no attention to
  dying injunctions; minute a corpse's gone; but if I had my way; if I
  didn't respect his last wishes and tow him behind the hearse; I'll be
  cuss'd。  I consider that whatever a corpse wants done for his comfort is
  a little enough matter; and a man hain't got no right to deceive him or
  take advantage of himand whatever a corpse trusts me to do I'm a…going
  to do; you know; even if it's to stuff him and paint him yaller and keep
  him for a keepsakeyou hear me!〃
  He cracked his whip and went lumbering away with his ancient ruin of a
  hearse; and I continued my walk with a valuable lesson learnedthat a
  healthy and wholesome cheerfulness is not nece