第 5 节
作者:一意孤行      更新:2021-02-21 12:14      字数:9321
  where; it is said; the fine mailed and plumed; noble…natured; maiden…
  rescuing; wrong…redressing; adventure…seeking knight of romance is
  accepted and believed in by the peasantry with pleasing simplicity; while
  they reject with scorn the plain; unpolished verdict whereby history
  exposes him as a braggart; a ruffian; a fantastic vagabond; and an
  ignoramus。
  All romance aside; what shape would our admiration of the heroes of Ashby
  de la Zouch be likely to take; in this practical age; if those worthies
  were to rise up and come here and perform again the chivalrous deeds of
  that famous passage of arms?  Nothing but a New York jury and the
  insanity plea could save them from hanging; from the amiable Bois…
  Guilbert and the pleasant Front…de…Boeuf clear down to the nameless
  ruffians that entered the riot with unpictured shields and did their
  first murder and acquired their first claim to respect that day。  The
  doings of the so…called 〃chivalry〃 of the Middle Ages were absurd enough;
  even when they were brutally and bloodily in earnest; and when their
  surroundings of castles and donjons; savage landscapes and half…savage
  peoples; were in keeping; but those doings gravely reproduced with tinsel
  decorations and mock pageantry; by bucolic gentlemen with broomstick
  lances; and with muffin…rings to represent the foe; and all in the midst
  of the refinement and dignity of a carefully…developed modern
  civilisation; is absurdity gone crazy。
  Now; for next exhibition; let us have a fine representation of one of
  those chivalrous wholesale butcheries and burnings of Jewish women and
  children; which the crusading heroes of romance used to indulge in in
  their European homes; just before starting to the Holy Land; to seize and
  take to their protection the Sepulchre and defend it from 〃pollution。〃
  CURIOUS RELIC FOR SALE
  〃For sale; for the benefit of the Fund for the Relief of the Widows
  and Orphans of Deceased Firemen; a Curious Ancient Bedouin Pipe;
  procured at the city of Endor in Palestine; and believed to have
  once belonged to the justly…renowned Witch of Endor。  Parties
  desiring to examine this singular relic with a view to purchasing;
  can do so by calling upon Daniel S。。 119 and 121 William street; New
  York〃
  As per advertisement in the 〃Herald。〃  A curious old relic indeed; as I
  had a good personal right to know。  In a single instant of time; a long
  drawn panorama of sights and scenes in the Holy Land flashed through my
  memorytown and grove; desert; camp; and caravan clattering after each
  other and disappearing; leaping me with a little of the surprised and
  dizzy feeling which I have experienced at sundry times when a long
  express train has overtaken me at some quiet curve and gone whizzing; car
  by car; around the corner and out of sight。  In that prolific instant I
  saw again all the country from the Sea of Galilee and Nazareth clear to
  Jerusalem; and thence over the hills of Judea and through the Vale of
  Sharon to Joppa; down by the ocean。  Leaving out unimportant stretches of
  country and details of incident; I saw and experienced the following…
  described matters and things。  Immediately three years fell away from my
  age; and a vanished time was restored to me September; 1867。  It was a
  flaming Oriental daythis one that had come up out of the past and
  brought along its actors; its stage…properties; and scenic effectsand
  our party had just ridden through the squalid hive of human vermin which
  still holds the ancient Biblical name of Endor; I was bringing up the
  rear on my grave four…dollar steed; who was about beginning to compose
  himself for his usual noon nap。  My! only fifteen minutes before how the
  black; mangy; nine…tenths naked; ten…tenths filthy; ignorant; bigoted;
  besotted; hungry; lazy; malignant; screeching; crowding; struggling;
  wailing; begging; cursing; hateful spawn of the original Witch had
  swarmed out of the caves in the rocks and the holes and crevices in the
  earth; and blocked our horses' way; besieged us; threw themselves in the
  animals' path; clung to their manes; saddle…furniture; and tails; asking;
  beseeching; demanding 〃bucksheesh!  bucksheesh!  BUCKSHEESH!〃  We had
  rained small copper Turkish coins among them; as fugitives fling coats
  and hats to pursuing wolves; and then had spurred our way through as they
  stopped to scramble for the largess。  I was fervently thankful when we
  had gotten well up on the desolate hillside and outstripped them and left
  them jawing and gesticulating in the rear。  What a tempest had seemingly
  gone roaring and crashing by me and left its dull thunders pulsing in my
  ears!
  I was in the rear; as I was saying。  Our pack…mules and Arabs were far
  ahead; and Dan; Jack; Moult; Davis; Denny; Church; and Birch (these names
  will do as well as any to represent the boys) were following close after
  them。  As my horse nodded to rest; I heard a sort of panting behind me;
  and turned and saw that a tawny youth from the village had overtaken me
  a true remnant and representative of his ancestress the Witcha
  galvanised scurvy; wrought into the human shape and garnished with
  ophthalmia and leprous scarsan airy creature with an invisible shirt…
  front that reached below the pit of his stomach; and no other clothing to
  speak of except a tobacco…pouch; an ammunition…pocket; and a venerable
  gun; which was long enough to club any game with that came within
  shooting distance; but far from efficient as an article of dress。
  I thought to myself; 〃Now this disease with a human heart in it is going
  to shoot me。〃  I smiled in derision at the idea of a Bedouin daring to
  touch off his great…grandfather's rusty gun and getting his head blown
  off for his pains。  But then it occurred to me; in simple school…boy
  language; 〃Suppose he should take deliberate aim and 'haul off' and fetch
  me with the butt…end of it?〃  There was wisdom in that view of it; and I
  stopped to parley。  I found he was only a friendly villain who wanted a
  trifle of bucksheesh; and after begging what he could get in that way;
  was perfectly willing to trade off everything he had for more。  I believe
  he would have parted with his last shirt for bucksheesh if he had had
  one。  He was smoking the 〃humbliest〃 pipe I ever sawa dingy; funnel…
  shaped; red…clay thing; streaked and grimed with oil and tears of
  tobacco; and with all the different kinds of dirt there are; and thirty
  per cent。 of them peculiar and indigenous to Endor and perdition。  And
  rank?  I never smelt anything like it。  It withered a cactus that stood
  lifting its prickly hands aloft beside the trail。  It even woke up my
  horse。  I said I would take that。  It cost me a franc; a Russian kopek;
  a brass button; and a slate pencil; and my spendthrift lavishness so won
  upon the son of the desert that he passed over his pouch of most
  unspeakably villainous tobacco to me as a free gift。  What a pipe it was;
  to be sure!  It had a rude brass…wire cover to it; and a little coarse
  iron chain suspended from the bowl; with an iron splinter attached to
  loosen up the tobacco and pick your teeth with。  The stem looked like the
  half of a slender walking…stick with the bark on。
  I felt that this pipe had belonged to the original Witch of Endor as soon
  as I saw it; and as soon as I smelt it; I knew it。  Moreover; I asked the
  Arab cub in good English if it was not so; and he answered in good Arabic
  that it was。  I woke up my horse and went my way; smoking。  And presently
  I said to myself reflectively; 〃If there is anything that could make a
  man deliberately assault a dying cripple; I reckon may be an unexpected
  whiff from this pipe would do it。〃  I smoked along till I found I was
  beginning to lie; and project murder; and steal my own things out of one
  pocket and hide them in another; and then I put up my treasure; took off
  my spurs and put them under my horse's tail; and shortly came tearing
  through our caravan like a hurricane。
  From that time forward; going to Jerusalem; the Dead Sea; and the Jordan;
  Bethany; Bethlehem; and everywhere; I loafed contentedly in the rear and
  enjoyed my infamous pipe and revelled in imaginary villany。  But at the
  end of two weeks we turned our faces toward the sea and journeyed over
  the Judean hills; and through rocky defiles; and among the scenes that
  Samson knew in his youth; and by and by we touched level ground just at
  night; and trotted off cheerily over the plain of Sharon。  It was
  perfectly jolly for three hours; and we whites crowded along together;
  close after the chief Arab muleteer (all the pack…animals and the other
  Arabs were miles in the rear); and we laughed; and chatted; and argued
  hotly about Samson; and whether suicide was a sin or not; since Paul
  speaks of Samson distinctly as being saved and in heaven。  But by and by
  the night air; and the duskiness; and the weariness of eight hours in the
  saddle; began to tell; and conversation flagged and finally died out
  utterly。  The squeak…squeaking of the saddles grew very distinct;
  occasionally somebody sighed; or started to hum a tune and gave it up;
  now and then a horse sneezed。  These things only emphasised the solemnity
  and the stillness。  Everybody got