The　Second　Funeral　of　Napoleon
  by　William　Makepeace　Thackeray
  〃by　Michael　Angelo　Titmarch。〃
  I。　　On　the　Disinterment　of　Napoleon　at　St。　Helena
  II。　　On　the　Voyage　from　St。　Helena　to　Paris
  III。　　On　the　Funeral　Ceremony
  I。
  ON　THE　DISINTERMENT　OF　NAPOLEON　AT　ST。　HELENA。
  MY　DEAR　；It　is　no　easy　task　in　this　world　to　distinguish
  between　what　is　great　in　it；　and　what　is　mean；　and　many　and　many　is
  the　puzzle　that　I　have　had　in　reading　History　（or　the　works　of
  fiction　which　go　by　that　name）；　to　know　whether　I　should　laud　up　to
  the　skies；　and　endeavor；　to　the　best　of　my　small　capabilities；　to
  imitate　the　remarkable　character　about　whom　I　was　reading；　or
  whether　I　should　fling　aside　the　book　and　the　hero　of　it；　as　things
  altogether　base；　unworthy；　laughable；　and　get　a　novel；　or　a　game　of
  billiards；　or　a　pipe　of　tobacco；　or　the　report　of　the　last　debate　in
  the　House；　or　any　other　employment　which　would　leave　the　mind　in　a
  state　of　easy　vacuity；　rather　than　pester　it　with　a　vain　set　of
  dates　relating　to　actions　which　are　in　themselves　not　worth　a　fig；
  or　with　a　parcel　of　names　of　people　whom　it　can　do　one　no　earthly
  good　to　remember。
  It　is　more　than　probable；　my　love；　that　you　are　acquainted　with　what
  is　called　Grecian　and　Roman　history；　chiefly　from　perusing；　in　very
  early　youth；　the　little　sheepskin…bound　volumes　of　the　ingenious　Dr。
  Goldsmith；　and　have　been　indebted　for　your　knowledge　of　the　English
  annals　to　a　subsequent　study　of　the　more　voluminous　works　of　Hume
  and　Smollett。　　The　first　and　the　last…named　authors；　dear　Miss
  Smith；　have　written　each　an　admirable　history；that　of　the　Reverend
  Dr。　Primrose；　Vicar　of　Wakefield；　and　that　of　Mr。　Robert　Bramble；　of
  Bramble　Hallin　both　of　which　works　you　will　find　true　and
  instructive　pictures　of　human　life；　and　which　you　may　always　think
  over　with　advantage。　　But　let　me　caution　you　against　putting　any
  considerable　trust　in　the　other　works　of　these　authors；　which　were
  placed　in　your　hands　at　school　and　afterwards；　and　in　which　you　were
  taught　to　believe。　　Modern　historians；　for　the　most　part；　know　very
  little；　and；　secondly；　only　tell　a　little　of　what　they　know。
  As　for　those　Greeks　and　Romans　whom　you　have　read　of　in　〃sheepskin；〃
  were　you　to　know　really　what　those　monsters　were；　you　would　blush
  all　over　as　red　as　a　hollyhock；　and　put　down　the　history…book　in　a
  fury。　　Many　of　our　English　worthies　are　no　better。　　You　are　not　in　a
  situation　to　know　the　real　characters　of　any　one　of　them。　　They
  appear　before　you　in　their　public　capacities；　but　the　individuals
  you　know　not。　　Suppose；　for　instance；　your　mamma　had　purchased　her
  tea　in　the　Borough　from　a　grocer　living　there　by　the　name　of
  Greenacre：　suppose　you　had　been　asked　out　to　dinner；　and　the
  gentleman　of　the　house　had　said：　〃Ho！　Francois！　a　glass　of　champagne
  for　Miss　Smith；〃Courvoisier　would　have　served　you　just　as　any
  other　footman　would；　you　would　never　have　known　that　there　was
  anything　extraordinary　in　these　individuals；　but　would　have　thought
  of　them　only　in　their　respective　public　characters　of　Grocer　and
  Footman。　　This；　Madam；　is　History；　in　which　a　man　always　appears
  dealing　with　the　world　in　his　apron；　or　his　laced　livery；　but　which
  has　not　the　power　or　the　leisure；　or；　perhaps；　is　too　high　and
  mighty　to　condescend　to　follow　and　study　him　in　his　privacy。　　Ah；　my
  dear；　when　big　and　little　men　come　to　be　measured　rightly；　and　great
  and　small　actions　to　be　weighed　properly；　and　people　to　be　stripped
  of　their　royal　robes；　beggars'　rags；　generals'　uniforms；　seedy　out…
  at…elbowed　coats；　and　the　likeor　the　contrary　say；　when　souls　come
  to　be　stripped　of　their　wicked　deceiving　bodies；　and　turned　out
  stark　naked　as　they　were　before　they　were　bornwhat　a　strange
  startling　sight　shall　we　see；　and　what　a　pretty　figure　shall　some　of
  us　cut！　　Fancy　how　we　shall　see　Pride；　with　his　Stultz　clothes　and
  padding　pulled　off；　and　dwindled　down　to　a　forked　radish！　　Fancy
  some　Angelic　Virtue；　whose　white　raiment　is　suddenly　whisked　over
  his　head；　showing　us　cloven　feet　and　a　tail！　　Fancy　Humility；　eased
  of　its　sad　load　of　cares　and　want　and　scorn；　walking　up　to　the　very
  highest　place　of　all；　and　blushing　as　he　takes　it！　　Fancy；but　we
  must　not　fancy　such　a　scene　at　all；　which　would　be　an　outrage　on
  public　decency。　　Should　we　be　any　better　than　our　neighbors？　　No；
  certainly。　　And　as　we　can't　be　virtuous；　let　us　be　decent。
  Figleaves　are　a　very　decent；　becoming　wear；　and　have　been　now　in
  fashion　for　four　thousand　years。　　And　so；　my　dear；　history　is
  written　on　fig…leaves。　　Would　you　have　anything　further？　　O　fie！
  Yes；　four　thousand　years　ago　that　famous　tree　was　planted。　　At　their
  very　first　lie；　our　first　parents　made　for　it；　and　there　it　is　still
  the　great　Humbug　Plant；　stretching　its　wide　arms；　and　sheltering
  beneath　its　leaves；　as　broad　and　green　as　ever；　all　the　generations
  of　men。　　Thus；　my　dear；　coquettes　of　your　fascinating　sex　cover
  their　persons　with　figgery；　fantastically　arranged；　and　call　their
  masquerading；　modesty。　　Cowards　fig　themselves　out　fiercely　as
  〃salvage　men；〃　and　make　us　believe　that　they　are　warriors。　　Fools
  look　very　solemnly　out　from　the　dusk　of　the　leaves；　and　we　fancy　in
  the　gloom　that　they　are　sages。　　And　many　a　man　sets　a　great　wreath
  about　his　pate　and　struts　abroad　a　hero；　whose　claims　we　would　all
  of　us　laugh　at；　could　we　but　remove　the　ornament　and　see　his
  numskull　bare。
  And　such（excuse　my　sermonizing）such　is　the　constitution　of
  mankind；　that　men　have；　as　it　were；　entered　into　a　compact　among
  themselves　to　pursue　the　fig…leaf　system　a　l'outrance；　and　to　cry
  down　all　who　oppose　it。　　Humbug　they　will　have。　　Humbugs　themselves；
  they　will　respect　humbugs。　　Their　daily　victuals　of　life　must　be
  seasoned　with　humbug。　　Certain　things　are　there　in　the　world　that
  they　will　not　allow　to　be　called　by　their　right　names；　and　will
  insist　upon　our　admiring；　whether　we　will　or　no。　　Woe　be　to　the　man
  who　would　enter　too　far　into　the　recesses　of　that　magnificent　temple
  where　our　Goddess　is　enshrined；　peep　through　the　vast　embroidered
  curtains　indiscreetly；　penetrate　the　secret　of　secrets；　and　expose
  the　Gammon　of　Gammons！　　And　as　you　must　not　peer　too　curiously
  within；　so　neither　must　you　remain　scornfully　without。　　Humbug…
  worshippers；　let　us　come　into　our　great　temple　regularly　and
  decently：　take　our　seats；　and　settle　our　clothes　decently；　open　our
  books；　and　go　through　the　service　with　decent　gravity；　listen；　and
  be　decently　affected　by　the　expositions　of　the　decent　priest　of　the
  place；　and　if　by　chance　some　straggling　vagabond；　loitering　in　the
  sunshine　out　of　doors；　dares　to　laugh　or　to　sing；　and　disturb　the
  sanctified　dulness　of　the　faithful；quick！　a　couple　of　big　beadles
  rush　out　and　belabor　the　wretch；　and　his　yells　make　our　devotions
  more　comfortable。
  Some　magnificent　religious　ceremonies　of　this　nature　are　at　present
  taking　place　in　France；　and　thinking　that　you　might　perhaps　while
  away　some　long　winter　evening　with　an　account　of　them；　I　have
  compiled　the　following　pages　for　your　use。　　Newspapers　have　been
  filled；　for　some　days　past；　with　details　regarding　the　St。　Helena
  expedition；　many　pamphlets　have　been　published；　men　go　about　crying
  little　books　and　broadsheets　filled　with　real　or　sham　particulars；
  and　from　these　scarce　and　valuable　documents　the　following　pages　are
  chiefly　compiled。
  We　must　begin　at　the　beginning；　premising；　in　the　first　place；　that
  Monsieur　Guizot；　when　French　Ambassador　at　London；　waited　upon　Lord
  Palmerston　with　a　request　that　the　body　of　the　Emperor　Napoleon
  should　be　given　up　to　the　French　nation；　in　order　that　it　might　find
  a　final　resting…place　in　French　earth。　　To　this　demand　the　English
  Government　gave　a　ready　assent；　nor　was　there　any　particular
  explosion　of　sentiment　upon　either　side；　only　some　pretty　cordial
  expressions　of　mutual　good…will。　　Orders　were　sent　out　to　St。　Helena
  that　the　corpse　should　be　disinterred　in　due　time；　when　the　French
  expedition　had　arrived　in　search　of　it；　and　that　every　respect　and
  attention　should　he　paid　to　those　who　came　to　carry　back　to　their
  country　the　body　of　the　famous　dead　warrior　and　sovereign。
  This　matter　being　arranged　in　very　few　words　（as　in　England；　upon
  most　points；　is　the　laudable　fashion）；　the　French　Chambers　began　to
  debate　about　the　place　in　which　they　should　bury　the　body　when　they
  got　it；　and　numberless　pamphlets　and　newspapers　out　of　doors　joined
  in　the　talk。　　Some　people　there　were　who　had　fought　and　conquered
  and　been　beaten　with　the　great　Napoleon；　and　loved　him　and　his
  memory。　　Many　more　were　there　who；　because　of　his　great　genius　and
  valor；　felt　excessively　proud　in　their　own　particular　persons；　and
  clamored　for　the　return　of　their　hero。　　And　if　there　were　some　few
  individuals　in　this　great　hot…headed；　gallant；　boasting；　sublime；
  absurd　French　nation；　who　had　taken　a　c