第 3 节
作者:丁格      更新:2021-02-21 10:34      字数:9322
  but where is the gate through which Care has not slipped?                     She perches
  on the shoulders of the sentry in the sentry…box:               she whispers the porter
  sleeping   in   his   arm…chair:     she   glides   up   the   staircase;   and   lies   down
  between the king and queen in their bed…royal:                 this very night I daresay
  she    will   perch   upon    poor    old   Goody     Twoshoes'      meagre    bolster;   and
  whisper;   〃Will   the   gentleman   and   those   ladies   ask   me   again!       No;   no;
  they   will   forget   poor   old   Twoshoes。〃   Goody!        For   shame   of   yourself!
  Do not be cynical。        Do not mistrust your fellow…creatures。              What?      Has
  the Christmas   morning dawned upon thee ninety times?                     For four…score
  and ten years has it been thy lot to totter on this earth; hungry and obscure?
  Peace   and   goodwill   to   thee;   let   us   say   at   this   Christmas   season。   Come;
  drink; eat; rest awhile at our hearth; thou poor old pilgrim!                   And of the
  bread   which   God's   bounty   gives   us;   I   pray;   brother   reader;   we   may   not
  forget   to   set   aside   a   part   for   those   noble   and   silent   poor;   from   whose
  innocent hands war has torn the means of labour。                   Enough!       As I hope
  for beef at Christmas; I vow a note shall be sent to Saint Lazarus Union
  House;   in   which   Mr   Roundabout   requests   the   honour   of   Mrs   Twoshoes'
  company on Friday; 26th December。
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  DE JUVENTUTE
  We who lived before railways; and survive out of the ancient world;
  are   like   Father   Noah   and   his   family   out   of   the Ark。 The   children   will
  gather round and say to us patriarchs; 〃Tell us; grandpapa; about the old
  world。〃      And   we   shall   mumble   our   old   stories;   and   we   shall   drop   off
  one by one;       and there will be fewer and fewer of us; and these very old
  and   feeble。     There   will   be   but   ten   prae…railroadites   left: then   three
  then    two     then   one     then   0!   If  the   hippopotamus       had   the  least
  sensibility (of which I cannot trace any signs either in his hide or his face);
  I think he would go down to the bottom of his tank; and never come up
  again。     Does he not see that he belongs to bygone ages; and that his great
  hulking barrel of a body is out of place in these times?                 What has he in
  common with the brisk young   life surrounding him?                   In the watches of
  the   night;   when   the   keepers   are   asleep;   when   the   birds   are   on   one   leg;
  when even the little armadillo is quiet; and the monkeys have ceased their
  chatter; he  I mean the hippopotamus  and the elephant; and the long…
  necked giraffe; perhaps may lay their heads together and have a colloquy
  about   the   great   silent   antediluvian   world   which   they   remember;   where
  mighty   monsters   floundered   through   the   ooze;   crocodiles   basked   on   the
  banks; and dragons darted out of the caves   and waters   before men   were
  made to slay them。        We who lived before railways are antediluvians  we
  must pass away。         We are growing scarcer every day;              and old  old
  very old relicts of the times when George was still fighting the Dragon。
  Not long since; a company of horseriders paid a visit to our watering…
  place。     We   went   to   see   them;   and   I   bethought   me   that   young   Walter
  Juvenis; who was in the place; might like also to witness the performance。
  A   pantomime       is  not  always    amusing     to  persons    who    have   attained   a
  certain age;      but   a boy  at   a pantomime   is   always amused   and   amusing;
  and to see his pleasure is good for most hypochondriacs。
  We sent to Walter's mother; requesting that he might join us; and the
  kind     lady   replied    that   the   boy   had    already    been    at   the  morning
  performance of the equestrians; but was most eager to go in the evening
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  likewise。      And go he did;         and laughed at all Mr Merryman's remarks;
  though he remembered them with remarkable accuracy; and insisted upon
  waiting   to   the   very   end   of   the   fun;   and   was   only   induced   to   retire   just
  before its conclusion by representations that the ladies of the party would
  be incommoded if they were to wait and undergo the rush and trample of
  the    crowd    round    about。    When      this  fact  was    pointed    out  to  him;    he
  yielded   at   once;   though   with   a   heavy   heart;   his   eyes   looking   longingly
  towards the ring as we retreated out of the booth。               We were scarcely clear
  of    the  place;   when     we   heard    〃God    save   the   Queen;〃     played    by   the
  equestrian band; the signal that all was over。             Our companion entertained
  us with scraps of the dialogue on our way home  precious crumbs of wit
  which he had brought away from that feast。                He laughed over them again
  as he walked under the stars。          He has them now; and takes them out of the
  pocket      of  his   memory;      and   crunches     a   bit;  and   relishes    it  with   a
  sentimental tenderness; too; for he is; no doubt; back at school by this time;
  the     holidays     are   over;     and     Doctor     Birch's    young     friends     have
  reassembled。
  Queer jokes; which caused a thousand simple mouths to grin!                     As the
  jaded Merryman uttered them to the old gentleman with the whip; some of
  the   old   folks   in   the   audience;   I   daresay;   indulged   in   reflections   of   their
  own。      There     was   one   joke     I  utterly  forget   it    but  it  began   with
  Merryman saying what he had for dinner。                  He had mutton for dinner; at
  one o'clock; after which 〃he had to come to business。〃                    And then came
  the point。     Walter Juvenis; Esq。; Rev。 Doctor Birch's; Market Rodborough;
  if you read this; will you please send me a line; and let me know what was
  the   joke   Mr   Merryman   made   about   having   his   dinner?         You   remember
  well enough。        But do I want to know?           Suppose a boy takes a favourite;
  long…cherished   lump   of   cake   out   of   his   pocket;   and   offers   you   a   bit?
  Merci!      The   fact   is;   I   don't   care   much   about   knowing   that   joke   of   Mr
  Merryman's。
  But   whilst   he   was   talking   about   his   dinner;   and   his   mutton;   and   his
  landlord; and his business; I felt a great interest about Mr M。 in private life
  about   his   wife;   lodgings;   earnings;   and   general   history;   and   I   daresay
  was forming a picture of those in my mind:                  wife cooking the mutton;
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  children     waiting     for  it;  Merryman       in  his  plain   clothes;    and   so   forth;
  during which contemplation the joke was uttered and laughed at; and Mr
  M。; resuming his professional duties; was tumbling over head and heels。
  Do not suppose I am going; sicut est mos; to indulge in moralities about
  buffoons;      paint;    motley;     and    mountebanking。         Nay;    Prime     Ministers
  rehearse      their   jokes;     Opposition       leaders    prepare     and    polish    them:
  Tabernacle preachers must arrange them in their minds before they utter
  them。      All    I  mean    is;  that   I  would    like   to  know     any   one    of  these
  performers thoroughly; and out of his uniform:                 that preacher; and why in
  his   travels   this   and   that   point   struck   him;    wherein   lies   his   power   of
  pathos;   humour;   eloquence;            that   Minister   of   State;   and   what   moves
  him; and how his private heart is working;                  I would only say that; at a
  certain time of life certain things cease to interest: but about some things
  when      we   cease    to  care;  what    will   be   the  use   of  life;  sight;   hearing?
  Poems are written; and we cease to admire。                   Lady Jones invites us; and
  we yawn;        she ceases to invite us; and we are resigned。                The last time I
  saw a ballet at the opera  oh! it is many years ago  I fell asleep in the
  stalls;    wagging      my    head     in   insane    dreams;     and    I   hope    affording
  amusement to the com