his　profession；　and　wasted　such　hours　as　should　have　been　given　to　study
  in　drinking；　dicing；　and　even　less　reputable　pleasures。　　Yet　repentance
  was　always　easy；　and　he　accepted　his　first　curacy；　at　Newmarket；　with　a
  brave　heart　and　a　good　hopefulness。　　Fortunate　was　the　choice　of　this
  early　cure。　　Had　he　been　gently　guided　at　the　outset；　who　knows　but　he
  might　have　lived　out　his　life　in　respectable　obscurity？　　But　Newmarket
  then；　as　now；　was　a　town　of　jollity　and　dissipation；　and　Pureney　yielded
  without　persuasion　to　the　pleasures　denied　his　cloth。　　There　was　ever　a
  fire　to　extinguish　at　his　throat；　nor　could　he　veil　his　wanton　eye　at　the　sight
  of　a　pretty　wench。　　Again　and　again　the　lust　of　preaching　urged　him　to
  repent；　yet　he　slid　back　upon　his　past　gaiety；　until　Parson　Pureney　became
  a　byword。　　Dismissed　from　Newmarket　in　disgrace；　he　wandered　the
  country　up　and　down　in　search　of　a　pulpit；　but　so　infamous　became　the
  habit　of　his　life　that　only　in　prison　could　he　find　an　audience　fit　and
  responsive。
  And；　in　the　nick；　the　chaplaincy　of　Newgate　fell　vacant。　　Here　was
  the　occasion　to　temper　dissipation　with　piety；　to　indulge　the　twofold
  ambition　of　his　life。　　What　mattered　it；　if　within　the　prison　walls　he
  dipped　his　nose　more　deeply　into　the　punch…bowl　than　became　a　divine？
  The　rascals　would　but　respect　him　the　more　for　his　prowess；　and　knit　more
  closely　the　bond　of　sympathy。　　Besides；　after　preaching　and　punch　he
  best　loved　a　penitent；　and　where　in　the　world　could　he　find　so　rich　a　crop
  of　erring　souls　ripe　for　repentance　as　in　gaol？　　Henceforth　he　might
  threaten；　bluster；　and　cajole。　　If　amiability　proved　fruitless　he　would　put
  cruelty　to　the　test；　and　terrify　his　victims　by　a　spirited　reference　to　Hell
  and　to　that　Burning　Lake　they　were　so　soon　to　traverse。　　At　last；　thought
  he；　I　shall　be　sure　of　my　effect；　and　the　prospect　flattered　his　vanity。　　In
  truth；　he　won　an　immediate　and　assured　success。　　Like　the　common　file
  or　cracksman；　he　fell　into　the　habit　of　the　place；　intriguing　with　all　the
  cleverness　of　a　practised　diplomatist；　and　setting　one　party　against　the
  other　that　he　might　in　due　season　decide　the　trumpery　dispute。　　The
  trusted　friend　of　many　a　distinguished　prig　and　murderer；　he　so　intimately
  mastered　the　slang　and　etiquette　of　the　Jug；　that　he　was　appointed　arbiter
  79
  …　80
  A　BOOK　OF　SCOUNDRELS
  of　all　those　nice　questions　of　honour　which　agitated　the　more　reputable
  among　the　cross…coves。　　But　these　were　the　diversions　of　a　strenuous
  mind；　and　it　was　in　the　pulpit　or　in　the　closet　that　the　Reverend　Thomas
  Pureney　revealed　his　true　talent。
  As　the　ruffian　had　a　sense　of　drama；　so　he　was　determined　that　his
  words　should　scald　and　bite　the　penitent。　　When　the　condemned　pew　was
  full　of　a　Sunday　his　happiness　was　complete。　　Now　his　deep　chest　would
  hurl　salvo　on　salvo　of　platitudes　against　the　sounding…board；　now　his　voice；
  lowered　to　a　whisper；　would　coax　the　hopeless　prisoners　to　prepare　their
  souls。　　In　a　paroxysm　of　feigned　anger　he　would　crush　the　cushion　with
  his　clenched　fist；　or　leaning　over　the　pulpit　side　as　though　to　approach　the
  nearer　to　his　victims；　would　roll　a　cold　and　bitter　eye　upon　them；　as　of　a
  cat　watching　caged　birds。　　One　famous　gesture　was　irresistible；　and　he
  never　employed　it　but　some　poor　ruffian　fell　senseless　to　the　floor。　　His
  stumpy　fingers　would　fix　a　noose　of　air　round　some　imagined　neck；　and　so
  devoutly　was　the　pantomime　studied　that　you　almost　heard　the　creak　of　the
  retreating　cart　as　the　phantom　culprit　was　turned　off。　　But　his　conduct　in
  the　pulpit　was　due　to　no　ferocity　of　temperament。　　He　merely　exercised
  his　legitimate　craft。　　So　long　as　Newgate　supplied　him　with　an　enforced
  audience；　so　long　would　he　thunder　and　bluster　at　the　wrongdoer
  according　to　law　and　the　dictates　of　his　conscience。
  Many；　in　truth；　were　his　triumphs；　but；　as　he　would　mutter　in　his
  garrulous　old　age；　never　was　he　so　successful　as　in　the　last　exhortation
  delivered　to　Matthias　Brinsden。　　Now；　Matthias　Brinsden　incontinently
  murdered　his　wife　because　she　harboured　too　eager　a　love　of　the　brandy…
  shop。　　A　model　husband；　he　had　spared　no　pains　in　her　correction。　　He
  had　flogged　her　without　mercy　and　without　result。　　His　one　design　was　to
  make　his　wife　obey　him；　which；　as　the　Scriptures　say；　all　wives　should　do。
  But　the　lust　of　brandy　overcame　wifely　obedience；　and　Brinsden；　hoping
  for　the　best；　was　constrained　to　cut　a　hole　in　her　skull。　　The　next　day　she
  was　as　impudent　as　ever；　until　Matthias　rose　yet　more　fiercely　in　his　wrath；
  and　the　shrew　perished。　　Then　was　Thomas　Pureney's　opportunity；　and
  the　Sunday　following　the　miscreant's　condemnation　he　delivered　unto　him
  and　seventeen　other　malefactors　the　moving　discourse　which　here　follows：
  80
  …　81
  A　BOOK　OF　SCOUNDRELS
  ‘We　shall　take　our　text；'　gruffed　the　Ordinary　‘From　out　the　Psalms：
  ‘‘Bloodthirsty　and　deceitful　men　shall　not　live　out　half　their　days。''　　And
  firstly；　we　shall　expound　to　you　the　heinous　sin　of　murder；　which　is
  unlawful　（1）　according　to　the　Natural　Laws；　（2）　according　to　the　Jewish
  Law；　（3）　according　to　the　Christian　Law；　proportionably　stronger。　　By
  Nature　'tis　unlawful　as　'tis　injuring　Society：　as　'tis　robbing　God　of　what　is
  His　Right　and　Property；　as　'tis　depriving　the　Slain　of　the　satisfaction　of
  Eating；　Drinking；　Talking；　and　the　Light　of　the　Sun；　which　it　is　his　right　to
  enjoy。　　And　especially　'tis　unlawful；　as　it　is　sending　a　Soul　naked　and
  unprepared　to　appear　before　a　wrathful　and　avenging　Deity　without　time
  to　make　his　Soul　composedly　or　to　listen　to　the　thoughtful　ministrations　of
  one　（like　ourselves）　soundly　versed　in　Divinity。　　By　the　Jewish　Law　'tis
  forbidden；　for　is　it　not　written　（Gen。　ix。　6）：　　‘‘Whosoever　sheddeth　Man's
  Blood；　by　Man　his　Blood　shall　be　shed''？　　And　if　an　Eye　be　given　for　an
  Eye；　a　Tooth　for　a　Tooth；　how　shall　the　Murderer　escape　with　his
  dishonoured　Life？　　'Tis　further　forbidden　by　the　Christian　Law
  （proportionably　stronger）。
  But　on　this　head　we　would　speak　no　word；　for　were　not　you　all；　O
  miserable　Sinners；　born　not　in　the　Darkness　of　Heathendom；　but　in　the
  burning　Light　of　Christian　England？
  ‘Secondly；　we　will　consider　the　peculiar　wickedness　of　Parricide；　and
  especially　the　Murder　of　a　Wife。　　What　deed；　in　truth；　is　more　heinous
  than　that　a　man　should　slay　the　Parent　of　his　own　Children；　the　Wife　he
  had　once　loved　and　chose　out　of　all　the　world　to　be　a　Companion　of　his
  Days；　the　Wife　who　long　had　shared　his　good　Fortune　and　his　ill；　who　had
  brought　him　with　Pain　and　Anguish　several　Tokens　and　Badges　of
  Affection；　the　Olive　Branches　round　about　his　Table？　　To　embrew　the
  hands　in　such　blood　is　double　Murder；　as　it　murders　not　only　the　Person
  slain；　but　kills　the　Happiness　of　the　orphaned　Children；　depriving　them　of
  Bread；　and　forcing　them　upon　wicked　Ways　of　getting　a　Maintenance；
  which　often　terminate　in　Newgate　and　an　ignominious　death。
  ‘Bloodthirsty　men；　we　have　said；　shall　not　live　out　half　their　Days。
  And　think　not　that　Repentance　avails　the　Murderer。　　‘‘Hell　and
  Damnation　are　never　full''　（Prov。　xxvii。　20）；　and　the　meanest　Sinner　shall
  81
  …　82
  A　BOOK　OF　SCOUNDRELS
  find　a　place　in　the　Lake　which　burns　unto　Eternity　with　Fire　and
  Brimstone。　　Alas！　your　Punishment　shall　not　finish　with　the　Noose。
  Your　‘‘end　is　to　be　burned''　（Heb。　vi。　8）；　to　be　burned；　for　the　Blood　that　is
  shed　cries　aloud　for　Vengeance。'　　At　these　words；　as　Pureney　would　relate
  with　a　smile　of　recollected　triumph；　Matthias　Brinsden　screamed　aloud；
  and　a　shiver　ran　through　the　idle　audience　which　came　to　Newgate　on　a
  Black　Sunday；　as　to　a　bull…baiting。　　Truly；　the　throng　of　thoughtless
  spectators　hindered　the　proper　solace　of　the　Ordinary's　ministrations；　and
  many　a　respectable　murderer　complained　of　the　intruding　mob。　　But　the
  Ordinary；　otherwise　minded；　loved　nothing　so　well　as　a　packed　house；　and
  though　he　would　invite　the　criminal　to　his　private　closet；　and　comfort　his
  solitude　with　pious　ejaculations；　he　would　neither　shield　him　from
  curiosity；　nor　tranquillise　his　path　to　the　unquenchable　fire。
  Not　only　did　he　exercise　in　the　pulpit　a　poignant　and　visible　influence。
  He　boasted　the　confidence　of　many　heroes。　　His　green　old　age　cherished
  no　more　famous　memory　than　the　friendship　of　Jonathan　Wild。　　He　had
  known　the　Great　Man　at　his　zenith；　he　had　wrestled　with　him　in　the　hour
  of　discomfiture；　he　had　preached　for　his　benefit　that　famous　sermon　on　the
  text：　　‘Hide　Thy　Face　from　my　sins；　and　blot　out　all　my　Iniquities'；　he　had
  witnessed　the　hero's　awful　progress　from　Newgate　to　Tyburn；　he　had　seen
  him　shiver　at　the　nubbing…cheat；　he　had　composed　for　him　a　last　dying
  speech；　which　did　not　shame　the　king　of　thief…takers；　and　whose　sale
  brought　a　comfortable　prof