even　years　old　till　he　was　thirteen。　　There　is　no　EVIDENCE　in　existence　that　he　ever　went　to　school　at　all。
  The　historians　〃infer〃　that　he　got　his　Latin　in　that　school　the　school　which　they　〃suppose〃　he　attended。
  They　〃suppose〃　his　father's　declining　fortunes　made　it　necessary　for　him　to　leave　the　school　they　supposed　he　attended；　and　get　to　work　and　help　support　his　parents　and　their　ten　children。　　But　there　is　no　evidence　that　he　ever　entered　or　returned　from　the　school　they　suppose　he　attended。
  They　〃suppose〃　he　assisted　his　father　in　the　butchering　business；　and　that；　being　only　a　boy；　he　didn't　have　to　do　full…　grown　butchering；　but　only　slaughtering　calves。　　Also；　that　whenever　he　killed　a　calf　he　made　a　high…flown　speech　over　it。　This　supposition　rests　upon　the　testimony　of　a　man　who　wasn't　there　at　the　time；　a　man　who　got　it　from　a　man　who　could　have　been　there；　but　did　not　say　whether　he　was　nor　not；　and　neither　of　them　thought　to　mention　it　for　decades；　and　decades；　and　decades；　and　two　more　decades　after　Shakespeare's　death　（until　old　age　and　mental　decay　had　refreshed　and　vivified　their　memories）。　　They　hadn't　two　facts　in　stock　about　the　long…dead　distinguished　citizen；　but　only　just　the　one：　　he　slaughtered　calves　and　broke　into　oratory　while　he　was　at　it。　　Curious。　　They　had　only　one　fact；　yet　the　distinguished　citizen　had　spent　twenty…six　years　in　that　little　townjust　half　his　lifetime。　However；　rightly　viewed；　it　was　the　most　important　fact；　indeed　almost　the　only　important　fact；　of　Shakespeare's　life　in　Stratford。　　Rightly　viewed。　　For　experience　is　an　author's　most　valuable　asset；　experience　is　the　thing　that　puts　the　muscle　and　the　breath　and　the　warm　blood　into　the　book　he　writes。　　Rightly　viewed；　calf…butchering　accounts　for　〃Titus　Andronicus；〃　the　only　playain't　it？that　the　Stratford　Shakespeare　ever　wrote；　and　yet　it　is　the　only　one　everybody　tried　to　chouse　him　out　of；　the　Baconians　included。
  The　historians　find　themselves　〃justified　in　believing〃　that　the　young　Shakespeare　poached　upon　Sir　Thomas　Lucy's　deer　preserves　and　got　haled　before　that　magistrate　for　it。　　But　there　is　no　shred　of　respectworthy　evidence　that　anything　of　the　kind　happened。
  The　historians；　having　argued　the　thing　that　MIGHT　have　happened　into　the　thing　that　DID　happen；　found　no　trouble　in　turning　Sir　Thomas　Lucy　into　Mr。　Justice　Shallow。　　They　have　long　ago　convinced　the　worldon　surmise　and　without　trustworthy　evidencethat　Shallow　IS　Sir　Thomas。
  The　next　addition　to　the　young　Shakespeare's　Stratford　history　comes　easy。　　The　historian　builds　it　out　of　the　surmised　deer…steeling；　and　the　surmised　trial　before　the　magistrate；　and　the　surmised　vengeance…prompted　satire　upon　the　magistrate　in　the　play：　　result；　the　young　Shakespeare　was　a　wild；　wild；　wild；　oh；　SUCH　a　wild　young　scamp；　and　that　gratuitous　slander　is　established　for　all　time！　　It　is　the　very　way　Professor　Osborn　and　I　built　the　colossal　skeleton　brontosaur　that　stands　fifty…　seven　feet　long　and　sixteen　feet　high　in　the　Natural　History　Museum；　the　awe　and　admiration　of　all　the　world；　the　stateliest　skeleton　that　exists　on　the　planet。　　We　had　nine　bones；　and　we　built　the　rest　of　him　out　of　plaster　of　Paris。　　We　ran　short　of　plaster　of　Paris；　or　we'd　have　built　a　brontosaur　that　could　sit　down　beside　the　Stratford　Shakespeare　and　none　but　an　expert　could　tell　which　was　biggest　or　contained　the　most　plaster。
  Shakespeare　pronounced　〃Venus　and　Adonis〃　〃the　first　heir　of　his　invention；〃　apparently　implying　that　it　was　his　first　effort　at　literary　composition。　　He　should　not　have　said　it。　　It　has　been　an　embarrassment　to　his　historians　these　many；　many　years。　They　have　to　make　him　write　that　graceful　and　polished　and　flawless　and　beautiful　poem　before　he　escaped　from　Stratford　and　his　family1586　or　'87age；　twenty…two；　or　along　there；　because　within　the　next　five　years　he　wrote　five　great　plays；　and　could　not　have　found　time　to　write　another　line。
  It　is　sorely　embarrassing。　　If　he　began　to　slaughter　calves；　and　poach　deer；　and　rollick　around；　and　learn　English；　at　the　earliest　likely　momentsay　at　thirteen；　when　he　was　supposably　wretched　from　that　school　where　he　was　supposably　storing　up　Latin　for　future　literary　usehe　had　his　youthful　hands　full；　and　much　more　than　full。　　He　must　have　had　to　put　aside　his　Warwickshire　dialect；　which　wouldn't　be　understood　in　London；　and　study　English　very　hard。　　Very　hard　indeed；　incredibly　hard；　almost；　if　the　result　of　that　labor　was　to　be　the　smooth　and　rounded　and　flexible　and　letter…perfect　English　of　the　〃Venus　and　Adonis〃　in　the　space　of　ten　years；　and　at　the　same　time　learn　great　and　fine　and　unsurpassable　literary　FORM。
  However；　it　is　〃conjectured〃　that　he　accomplished　all　this　and　more；　much　more：　　learned　law　and　its　intricacies；　and　the　complex　procedure　of　the　law…courts；　and　all　about　soldiering；　and　sailoring；　and　the　manners　and　customs　and　ways　of　royal　courts　and　aristocratic　society；　and　likewise　accumulated　in　his　one　head　every　kind　of　knowledge　the　learned　then　possessed；　and　every　kind　of　humble　knowledge　possessed　by　the　lowly　and　the　ignorant；　and　added　thereto　a　wider　and　more　intimate　knowledge　of　the　world's　great　literatures；　ancient　and　modern；　than　was　possessed　by　any　other　man　of　his　timefor　he　was　going　to　make　brilliant　and　easy　and　admiration…compelling　use　of　these　splendid　treasures　the　moment　he　got　to　London。　　And　according　to　the　surmisers；　that　is　what　he　did。　　Yes；　although　there　was　no　one　in　Stratford　able　to　teach　him　these　things；　and　no　library　in　the　little　village　to　dig　them　out　of。　　His　father　could　not　read；　and　even　the　surmisers　surmise　that　he　did　not　keep　a　library。
  It　is　surmised　by　the　biographers　that　the　young　Shakespeare　got　his　vast　knowledge　of　the　law　and　his　familiar　and　accurate　acquaintance　with　the　manners　and　customs　and　shop…talk　of　lawyers　through　being　for　a　time　the　CLERK　OF　A　STRATFORD　COURT；　just　as　a　bright　lad　like　me；　reared　in　a　village　on　the　banks　of　the　Mississippi；　might　become　perfect　in　knowledge　of　the　Bering　Strait　whale…fishery　and　the　shop…talk　of　the　veteran　exercises　of　that　adventure…bristling　trade　through　catching　catfish　with　a　〃trot…line〃　Sundays。　　But　the　surmise　is　damaged　by　the　fact　that　there　is　no　evidenceand　not　even　traditionthat　the　young　Shakespeare　was　ever　clerk　of　a　law…court。
  It　is　further　surmised　that　the　young　Shakespeare　accumulated　his　law…treasures　in　the　first　years　of　his　sojourn　in　London；　through　〃amusing　himself〃　by　learning　book…law　in　his　garret　and　by　picking　up　lawyer…talk　and　the　rest　of　it　through　loitering　about　the　law…courts　and　listening。　　But　it　is　only　surmise；　there　is　no　EVIDENCE　that　he　ever　did　either　of　those　things。　　They　are　merely　a　couple　of　chunks　of　plaster　of　Paris。
  There　is　a　legend　that　he　got　his　bread　and　butter　by　holding　horses　in　front　of　the　London　theaters；　mornings　and　afternoons。　　Maybe　he　did。　　If　he　did；　it　seriously　shortened　his　law…study　hours　and　his　recreation…time　in　the　courts。　　In　those　very　days　he　was　writing　great　plays；　and　needed　all　the　time　he　could　get。　　The　horse…holding　legend　ought　to　be　strangled；　it　too　formidably　increases　the　historian's　difficulty　in　accounting　for　the　young　Shakespeare's　eruditionan　erudition　which　he　was　acquiring；　hunk　by　hunk　and　chunk　by　chunk；　every　day　in　those　strenuous　times；　and　emptying　each　day's　catch　into　next　day's　imperishable　drama。
  He　had　to　acquire　a　knowledge　of　war　at　the　same　time；　and　a　knowledge　of　soldier…people　and　sailor…people　and　their　ways　and　talk；　also　a　knowledge　of　some　foreign　lands　and　their　languages：　for　he　was　daily　emptying　fluent　streams　of　these　various　knowledges；　too；　into　his　dramas。　　How　did　he　acquire　these　rich　assets？
  In　the　usual　way：　　by　surmise。　　It　is　SURMISED　that　he　traveled　in　Italy　and　Germany　and　around；　and　qualified　himself　to　put　their　scenic　and　social　aspects　upon　paper；　that　he　perfected　himself　in　French；　Italian；　and　Spanish　on　the　road；　that　he　went　in　Leicester's　expedition　to　the　Low　Countries；　as　soldier　or　sutler　or　something；　for　several　months　or　yearsor　whatever　length　of　time　a　surmiser　needs　in　his　businessand　thus　became　familiar　with　soldiership　and　soldier…ways　and　soldier…talk　and　generalship　and　general…ways　and　general…talk；　and　seamanship　and　sailor…ways　and　sailor…talk。
  Maybe　he　did　all　these　things；　but　I　would　like　to　know　who　held　the　horses　in　the　mean　time；　and　who　studied　the　books　in　the　garret；　and　who　frolicked　in　the　law…courts　for　recreation。　Also；　who　did　the　call…boying　and　the　play…acting。
  For　he　became　a　call…boy；　and　as　early　as　'93　he　became　a　〃vagabond〃the　law's　ungentle　term　for　an　unlisted　actor；　and　in　'94　a　〃regular〃　and　properly　and　officially　listed　member　of　that　（in　those　days）　lightly　valued　and　not　much　respected　profession。
  Right　soon　thereafter　he　became　a　stockholder　in　two　theaters；　and　manager　of　them。　　Thenceforward　he　was　a　busy　and　flourishing　business　man；　and　was　raking　in　money　with　both　hands　for　twenty　years。　　Then　in　a　noble　frenzy　of　poetic　inspiration　he　wrote　his　one　poemhis　only　poem；　his　darlingand　laid　him　down　and　died：
  Good　friend　for　Iesus　sake　forbeare　To　digg　the　dust　e