IS　SHAKESPEARE　DEAD？
  （from　My　Autobiography）
  Scattered　here　and　there　through　the　stacks　of　unpublished　manuscript　which　constitute　this　formidable　Autobiography　and　Diary　of　mine；　certain　chapters　will　in　some　distant　future　be　found　which　deal　with　〃Claimants〃claimants　historically　notorious：　　Satan；　Claimant；　the　Golden　Calf；　Claimant；　the　Veiled　Prophet　of　Khorassan；　Claimant；　Louis　XVII。；　Claimant；　William　Shakespeare；　Claimant；　Arthur　Orton；　Claimant；　Mary　Baker　G。　Eddy；　Claimantand　the　rest　of　them。　　Eminent　Claimants；　successful　Claimants；　defeated　Claimants；　royal　Claimants；　pleb　Claimants；　showy　Claimants；　shabby　Claimants；　revered　Claimants；　despised　Claimants；　twinkle　star…like　here　and　there　and　yonder　through　the　mists　of　history　and　legend　and　traditionand；　oh；　all　the　darling　tribe　are　clothed　in　mystery　and　romance；　and　we　read　about　them　with　deep　interest　and　discuss　them　with　loving　sympathy　or　with　rancorous　resentment；　according　to　which　side　we　hitch　ourselves　to。　　It　has　always　been　so　with　the　human　race。　There　was　never　a　Claimant　that　couldn't　get　a　hearing；　nor　one　that　couldn't　accumulate　a　rapturous　following；　no　matter　how　flimsy　and　apparently　unauthentic　his　claim　might　be。　　Arthur　Orton's　claim　that　he　was　the　lost　Tichborne　baronet　come　to　life　again　was　as　flimsy　as　Mrs。　Eddy's　that　she　wrote　SCIENCE　AND　HEALTH　from　the　direct　dictation　of　the　Deity；　yet　in　England　nearly　forty　years　ago　Orton　had　a　huge　army　of　devotees　and　incorrigible　adherents；　many　of　whom　remained　stubbornly　unconvinced　after　their　fat　god　had　been　proven　an　impostor　and　jailed　as　a　perjurer；　and　today　Mrs。　Eddy's　following　is　not　only　immense；　but　is　daily　augmenting　in　numbers　and　enthusiasm。　Orton　had　many　fine　and　educated　minds　among　his　adherents；　Mrs。　Eddy　has　had　the　like　among　hers　from　the　beginning。　　Her　Church　is　as　well　equipped　in　those　particulars　as　is　any　other　Church。　Claimants　can　always　count　upon　a　following；　it　doesn't　matter　who　they　are；　nor　what　they　claim；　nor　whether　they　come　with　documents　or　without。　　It　was　always　so。　　Down　out　of　the　long…　vanished　past；　across　the　abyss　of　the　ages；　if　you　listen；　you　can　still　hear　the　believing　multitudes　shouting　for　Perkin　Warbeck　and　Lambert　Simnel。
  A　friend　has　sent　me　a　new　book；　from　EnglandTHE　SHAKESPEARE　PROBLEM　RESTATEDwell　restated　and　closely　reasoned；　and　my　fifty　years'　interest　in　that　matterasleep　for　the　last　three　yearsis　excited　once　more。　　It　is　an　interest　which　was　born　of　Delia　Bacon's　bookaway　back　in　the　ancient　day1857；　or　maybe　1856。　　About　a　year　later　my　pilot…master；　Bixby；　transferred　me　from　his　own　steamboat　to　the　PENNSYLVANIA；　and　placed　me　under　the　orders　and　instructions　of　George　Ealerdead　now；　these　many；　many　years。　　I　steered　for　him　a　good　many　monthsas　was　the　humble　duty　of　the　pilot…apprentice：　　stood　a　daylight　watch　and　spun　the　wheel　under　the　severe　superintendence　and　correction　of　the　master。　　He　was　a　prime　chess…player　and　an　idolater　of　Shakespeare。　　He　would　play　chess　with　anybody；　even　with　me；　and　it　cost　his　official　dignity　something　to　do　that。　　Alsoquite　uninvitedhe　would　read　Shakespeare　to　me；　not　just　casually；　but　by　the　hour；　when　it　was　his　watch　and　I　was　steering。　　He　read　well；　but　not　profitably　for　me；　because　he　constantly　injected　commands　into　the　text。　　That　broke　it　all　up；　mixed　it　all　up；　tangled　it　all　upto　that　degree；　in　fact；　that　if　we　were　in　a　risky　and　difficult　piece　of　river　an　ignorant　person　couldn't　have　told；　sometimes；　which　observations　were　Shakespeare's　and　which　were　Ealer's。　　For　instance：
  What　man　dare；　_I_　dare！
  Approach　thou　WHAT　are　you　laying　in　the　leads　for？　what　a　hell　of　an　idea！　like　the　rugged　ease　her　off　a　little；　ease　her　off！　rugged　Russian　bear；　the　armed　rhinoceros　or　the　THERE　she　goes！　meet　her；　meet　her！　didn't　you　KNOW　she'd　smell　the　reef　if　you　crowded　in　like　that？　　Hyrcan　tiger；　take　any　ship　but　that　and　my　firm　nerves　she'll　be　in　the　WOODS　the　first　you　know！　stop　he　starboard！　come　ahead　strong　on　the　larboard！　back　the　starboard！　。　。　。　NOW　then；　you're　all　right；　come　ahead　on　the　starboard；　straighten　up　and　go　'long；　never　tremble：　　or　be　alive　again；　and　dare　me　to　the　desert　DAMNATION　can't　you　keep　away　from　that　greasy　water？　pull　her　down！　snatch　her！　snatch　her　baldheaded！　with　thy　sword；　if　trembling　I　inhabit　then；　lay　in　the　leads！no；　only　with　the　starboard　one；　leave　the　other　alone；　protest　me　the　baby　of　a　girl。　　Hence　horrible　shadow！　eight　bellsthat　watchman's　asleep　again；　I　reckon；　go　down　and　call　Brown　yourself；　unreal　mockery；　hence！
  He　certainly　was　a　good　reader；　and　splendidly　thrilling　and　stormy　and　tragic；　but　it　was　a　damage　to　me；　because　I　have　never　since　been　able　to　read　Shakespeare　in　a　calm　and　sane　way。　I　cannot　rid　it　of　his　explosive　interlardings；　they　break　in　everywhere　with　their　irrelevant；　〃What　in　hell　are　you　up　to　NOW！　pull　her　down！　more！　MORE！there　now；　steady　as　you　go；〃　and　the　other　disorganizing　interruptions　that　were　always　leaping　from　his　mouth。　　When　I　read　Shakespeare　now　I　can　hear　them　as　plainly　as　I　did　in　that　long…departed　timefifty…one　years　ago。　　I　never　regarded　Ealer's　readings　as　educational。　Indeed；　they　were　a　detriment　to　me。
  His　contributions　to　the　text　seldom　improved　it；　but　barring　that　detail　he　was　a　good　reader；　I　can　say　that　much　for　him。　　He　did　not　use　the　book；　and　did　not　need　to；　he　knew　his　Shakespeare　as　well　as　Euclid　ever　knew　his　multiplication　table。
  Did　he　have　something　to　saythis　Shakespeare…adoring　Mississippi　pilotanent　Delia　Bacon's　book？
  Yes。　　And　he　said　it；　said　it　all　the　time；　for　monthsin　the　morning　watch；　the　middle　watch；　and　dog　watch；　and　probably　kept　it　going　in　his　sleep。　　He　bought　the　literature　of　the　dispute　as　fast　as　it　appeared；　and　we　discussed　it　all　through　thirteen　hundred　miles　of　river　four　times　traversed　in　every　thirty…five　daysthe　time　required　by　that　swift　boat　to　achieve　two　round　trips。　　We　discussed；　and　discussed；　and　discussed；　and　disputed　and　disputed　and　disputed；　at　any　rate；　HE　did；　and　I　got　in　a　word　now　and　then　when　he　slipped　a　cog　and　there　was　a　vacancy。　　He　did　his　arguing　with　heat；　with　energy；　with　violence；　and　I　did　mine　with　the　reverse　and　moderation　of　a　subordinate　who　does　not　like　to　be　flung　out　of　a　pilot…house　and　is　perched　forty　feet　above　the　water。　　He　was　fiercely　loyal　to　Shakespeare　and　cordially　scornful　of　Bacon　and　of　all　the　pretensions　of　the　Baconians。　　So　was　Iat　first。　　And　at　first　he　was　glad　that　that　was　my　attitude。　　There　were　even　indications　that　he　admired　it；　indications　dimmed；　it　is　true；　by　the　distance　that　lay　between　the　lofty　boss…pilotical　altitude　and　my　lowly　one；　yet　perceptible　to　me；　perceptible；　and　translatable　into　a　complimentcompliment　coming　down　from　about　the　snow…line　and　not　well　thawed　in　the　transit；　and　not　likely　to　set　anything　afire；　not　even　a　cub…pilot's　self…　conceit；　still　a　detectable　complement；　and　precious。
  Naturally　it　flattered　me　into　being　more　loyal　to　Shakespeare　if　possiblethan　I　was　before；　and　more　prejudiced　against　Baconif　possiblethat　I　was　before。　　And　so　we　discussed　and　discussed；　both　on　the　same　side；　and　were　happy。　For　a　while。　　Only　for　a　while。　　Only　for　a　very　little　while；　a　very；　very；　very　little　while。　　Then　the　atmosphere　began　to　change；　began　to　cool　off。
  A　brighter　person　would　have　seen　what　the　trouble　was；　earlier　than　I　did；　perhaps；　but　I　saw　it　early　enough　for　all　practical　purposes。　　You　see；　he　was　of　an　argumentative　disposition。　　Therefore　it　took　him　but　a　little　time　to　get　tired　of　arguing　with　a　person　who　agreed　with　everything　he　said　and　consequently　never　furnished　him　a　provocative　to　flare　up　and　show　what　he　could　do　when　it　came　to　clear；　cold；　hard；　rose…cut；　hundred…faceted；　diamond…flashing　REASONING。　　That　was　his　name　for　it。　　It　has　been　applied　since；　with　complacency；　as　many　as　several　times；　in　the　Bacon…Shakespeare　scuffle。　　On　the　Shakespeare　side。
  Then　the　thing　happened　which　has　happened　to　more　persons　than　to　me　when　principle　and　personal　interest　found　themselves　in　opposition　to　each　other　and　a　choice　had　to　be　made：　　I　let　principle　go；　and　went　over　to　the　other　side。　　Not　the　entire　way；　but　far　enough　to　answer　the　requirements　of　the　case。　　That　is　to　say；　I　took　this　attitudeto　wit；　I　only　BELIEVED　Bacon　wrote　Shakespeare；　whereas　I　KNEW　Shakespeare　didn't。　　Ealer　was　satisfied　with　that；　and　the　war　broke　loose。　　Study；　practice；　experience　in　handling　my　end　of　the　matter　presently　enabled　me　to　take　my　new　position　almost　seriously；　a　little　bit　later；　utterly　seriously；　a　little　later　still；　lovingly；　gratefully；　devotedly；　finally：　　fiercely；　rabidly；　uncompromisingly。　　After　that　I　was　welded　to　my　faith；　I　was　theoretically　ready　to　die　for　it；　and　I　looked　down　with　compassion　not　unmixed　with　scorn　upon　everybody　else's　faith　that　didn't　tally　with　mine。　　That　faith；　imposed　upon　me　by　self…interest　in　that　ancient　day；　remains　my　faith　today；　and　in　it　I　find　comfort；　solace；　peace；　and　never…failing　joy。　　You　see　how　curiously　theological　it　is。　The　〃rice　Christian〃　of　the　Orie