第 39 节
作者:
连过十一人 更新:2021-02-20 18:44 字数:9322
are in each of us; so sacred that they melt away at the approach of
words。
I shall remember her like thatwith the gleam of a smile in her
half…closed eyes; her red lips partedsuch a quaint look of mockery;
pleasure; regret; on her little round; upturned face; the room white;
and fresh with flowers; the breeze guttering the apple…leaves against
the window。 In the night they had unhooked the violin and taken it
away; she had not missed it。。。。 When Dan came; I gave up my place to
him。 He took her hand gently in his great paw; without speaking。
〃How small my hand looks there;〃 she said; 〃too small。〃 Dan put it
softly back on the bedclothes and wiped his forehead。 Pasiance cried
in a sharp whisper: 〃Is it so hot in here? I didn't know。〃 Dan bent
down; put his lips to her fingers and left the room。
The afternoon was long; the longest I've ever spent。 Sometimes she
seemed to sleep; sometimes whispered to herself about her mother; her
grandfather; the garden; or her catsall sorts of inconsequent;
trivial; even ludicrous memories seemed to throng her mindnever
once; I think; did she speak of Zachary; but; now and then; she asked
the time。。。。 Each hour she grew visibly weaker。 John Ford sat by
her without moving; his heavy breathing was often the only sound;
sometimes she rubbed her fingers on his hand; without speaking。 It
was a summary of their lives together。 Once he prayed aloud for her
in a hoarse voice; then her pitiful; impatient eyes signed to me。
〃Quick;〃 she whispered; 〃I want him; it's all socold。〃
I went out and ran down the path towards the cove。
Leaning on a gate stood Zachary; an hour before his time; dressed in
the same old blue clothes and leather…peaked cap as on the day when I
saw him first。 He knew nothing of what had happened。 But at a
quarter of the truth; I'm sure he divined the whole; though he would
not admit it to himself。 He kept saying; 〃It can't be。 She'll be
well in a few daysa sprain! D' you think the sea…voyage。。。。 Is she
strong enough to be moved now at once?〃
It was painful to see his face; so twisted by the struggle between
his instinct and his vitality。 The sweat poured down his forehead。
He turned round as we walked up the path; and pointed out to sea。
There was his steamer。 〃I could get her on board in no time。
Impossible! What is it; then? Spine? Good God! The doctors。。。。
Sometimes they'll do wonders!〃 It was pitiful to see his efforts to
blind himself to the reality。
〃It can't be; she's too young。 We're walking very slow。〃 I told him
she was dying。
For a second I thought he was going to run away。 Then he jerked up
his head; and rushed on towards the house。 At the foot of the
staircase he gripped me by the shoulder。
〃It's not true!〃 he said; 〃she'll get better now I'm here。 I'll
stay。 Let everything go。 I'll stay。〃
〃Now's the time;〃 I said; 〃to show you loved her。 Pull yourself
together; man!〃 He shook all over。
〃Yes!〃 was all he answered。 We went into her room。 It seemed
impossible she was going to die; the colour was bright in her cheeks;
her lips trembling and pouted as if she had just been kissed; her
eyes gleaming; her hair so dark and crisp; her face so young。。。。
Half an hour later I stole to the open door of her room。 She was
still and white as the sheets of her bed。 John Ford stood at the
foot; and; bowed to the level of the pillows; his head on his
clenched fists; sat Zachary。 It was utterly quiet。 The guttering of
the leaves had ceased。 When things have come to a crisis; how little
one feelsno fear; no pity; no sorrow; rather the sense; as when a
play is over; of anxiety to get away!
Suddenly Zachary rose; brushed past me without seeing; and ran
downstairs。
Some hours later I went out on the path leading to the cove。 It was
pitch…black; the riding light of the Pied Witch was still there;
looking no bigger than a firefly。 Then from in front I heard
sobbinga man's sobs; no sound is quite so dreadful。 Zachary Pearse
got up out of the bank not ten paces off。
I had no heart to go after him; and sat down in the hedge。 There was
something subtly akin to her in the fresh darkness of the young
night; the soft bank; the scent of honeysuckle; the touch of the
ferns and brambles。 Death comes to all of us; and when it's over
it's over; but this blind businessof those left behind
A little later the ship whistled twice; her starboard light gleamed
faintlyand that was all。。。。
VIII
〃TORQUAY; 30th October 。
。。。。Do you remember the letters I wrote you from Moor Farm nearly
three years ago? To…day I rode over there。 I stopped at Brixham on
the way for lunch; and walked down to the quay。 There had been a
showerbut the sun was out again; shining on the sea; the brown…red
sails; and the rampart of slate roofs。
A trawler was lying there; which had evidently been in a collision。
The spiky…bearded; thin…lipped fellow in torn blue jersey and sea…
boots who was superintending the repairs; said to me a little
proudly:
〃Bane in collision; zurr; like to zee over her?〃 Then suddenly
screwing up his little blue eyes; he added:
〃Why; I remembers yu。 Steered yu along o' the young lady in this yer
very craft。〃
It was Prawle; Zachary Pearse's henchman。
〃Yes;〃 he went on; 〃that's the cutter。〃
〃And Captain Pearse?〃
He leant his back against the quay; and spat。 〃He was a pra…aper
man; I never zane none like 'en。〃
〃Did you do any good out there?〃
Prawle gave me a sharp glance。
〃Gude? No; t'was arrm we done; vrom ztart to finishhad trouble all
the time。 What a man cude du; the skipper did。 When yu caan't du
right; zome calls it 'Providence'! 'Tis all my eye an' Betty Martin!
What I zay es; 'tis these times; there's such a dale o' folk; a dale
of puzzivantin' fellers; the world's to small。〃
With these words there flashed across me a vision of Drake crushed
into our modern life by the shrinkage of the world; Drake caught in
the meshes of red tape; electric wires; and all the lofty appliances
of our civilization。 Does a type survive its age; live on into times
that have no room for it? The blood is thereand sometimes there's
a throw…back。。。。 All fancy! Eh?
〃So;〃 I said; 〃you failed?〃
Prawle wriggled。
〃I wudden' goo for to zay that; zurr'tis an ugly word。 Da…am!〃 he
added; staring at his boots; 〃'twas thru me tu。 We were along among
the haythen; and I mus' nades goo for to break me leg。 The capt'n he
wudden' lave me。 'One Devon man;' he says to me; 'don' lave
anotherr。' We werr six days where we shuld ha' been tu; when we got
back to the ship a cruiser had got her for gun…runnin'。〃
〃And what has become of Captain Pearse?〃
Prawle answered; 〃Zurr; I belave 'e went to China; 'tis onsartin。〃
〃He's not dead?〃
Prawle looked at me with a kind of uneasy anger。
〃Yu cudden' kell 'en! 'Tis true; mun 'll die zome day。 But therr's
not a one that'll show better zport than Capt'n Zach'ry Pearse。〃
I believe that; he will be hard to kill。 The vision of him comes up;
with his perfect balance; defiant eyes; and sweetish smile; the way
the hair of his beard crisped a little; and got blacker on the
cheeks; the sort of desperate feeling he gave; that one would never
get the better of him; that he would never get the better of himself。
I took leave of Prawle and half a crown。 Before I was off the quay I
heard him saying to a lady; 〃Bane in collision; marm! Like to zee
over her?〃
After lunch I rode on to Moor。 The old place looked much the same;
but the apple…trees were stripped of fruit; and their leaves
beginning to go yellow and fall。 One of Pasiance's cats passed me in
the orchard hunting a bird; still with a ribbon round its neck。 John
Ford showed me all his latest improvements; but never by word or sign
alluded to the past。 He inquired after Dan; back in New Zealand now;
without much interest; his stubbly beard and hair have whitened; he
has grown very stout; and I noticed that his legs are not well under
control; he often stops to lean on his stick。 He was very ill last
winter; and sometimes; they say; will go straight off to sleep in the
middle of a sentence。
I managed to get a few minutes with the Hopgoods。 We talked of
Pasiance sitting in the kitchen under a row of plates; with that
clinging smell of wood…smoke; bacon; and age bringing up memories; as
nothing but scents can。 The dear old lady's hair; drawn so nicely
down her forehead on each side from the centre of her cap; has a few
thin silver lines; and her face is a thought more wrinkled。 The
tears still come into her eyes when she talks of her 〃lamb。〃
Of Zachary I heard nothing; but she told me of old Pearse's death。
〃Therr they found 'en; zo to spake; deadin th' sun; but Ha…apgood
can tell yu;〃 and Hop