第 39 节
作者:连过十一人      更新:2021-02-20 18:44      字数:9322
  are in each of us; so sacred that they melt away at the approach of
  words。
  I shall remember her like thatwith the gleam of a smile in her
  half…closed eyes; her red lips partedsuch a quaint look of mockery;
  pleasure; regret; on her little round; upturned face; the room white;
  and fresh with flowers; the breeze guttering the apple…leaves against
  the window。  In the night they had unhooked the violin and taken it
  away; she had not missed it。。。。  When Dan came; I gave up my place to
  him。  He took her hand gently in his great paw; without speaking。
  〃How small my hand looks there;〃 she said; 〃too small。〃  Dan put it
  softly back on the bedclothes and wiped his forehead。  Pasiance cried
  in a sharp whisper: 〃Is it so hot in here?  I didn't know。〃  Dan bent
  down; put his lips to her fingers and left the room。
  The afternoon was long; the longest I've ever spent。  Sometimes she
  seemed to sleep; sometimes whispered to herself about her mother; her
  grandfather; the garden; or her catsall sorts of inconsequent;
  trivial; even ludicrous memories seemed to throng her mindnever
  once; I think; did she speak of Zachary; but; now and then; she asked
  the time。。。。  Each hour she grew visibly weaker。  John Ford sat by
  her without moving; his heavy breathing was often the only sound;
  sometimes she rubbed her fingers on his hand; without speaking。  It
  was a summary of their lives together。  Once he prayed aloud for her
  in a hoarse voice; then her pitiful; impatient eyes signed to me。
  〃Quick;〃 she whispered; 〃I want him; it's all socold。〃
  I went out and ran down the path towards the cove。
  Leaning on a gate stood Zachary; an hour before his time; dressed in
  the same old blue clothes and leather…peaked cap as on the day when I
  saw him first。  He knew nothing of what had happened。  But at a
  quarter of the truth; I'm sure he divined the whole; though he would
  not admit it to himself。  He kept saying; 〃It can't be。  She'll be
  well in a few daysa sprain! D' you think the sea…voyage。。。。  Is she
  strong enough to be moved now at once?〃
  It was painful to see his face; so twisted by the struggle between
  his instinct and his vitality。  The sweat poured down his forehead。
  He turned round as we walked up the path; and pointed out to sea。
  There was his steamer。  〃I could get her on board in no time。
  Impossible!  What is it; then?  Spine?  Good God!  The doctors。。。。
  Sometimes they'll do wonders!〃  It was pitiful to see his efforts to
  blind himself to the reality。
  〃It can't be; she's too young。  We're walking very slow。〃  I told him
  she was dying。
  For a second I thought he was going to run away。  Then he jerked up
  his head; and rushed on towards the house。  At the foot of the
  staircase he gripped me by the shoulder。
  〃It's not true!〃 he said; 〃she'll get better now I'm here。  I'll
  stay。  Let everything go。  I'll stay。〃
  〃Now's the time;〃 I said; 〃to show you loved her。  Pull yourself
  together; man!〃  He shook all over。
  〃Yes!〃 was all he answered。  We went into her room。  It seemed
  impossible she was going to die; the colour was bright in her cheeks;
  her lips trembling and pouted as if she had just been kissed; her
  eyes gleaming; her hair so dark and crisp; her face so young。。。。
  Half an hour later I stole to the open door of her room。  She was
  still and white as the sheets of her bed。  John Ford stood at the
  foot; and; bowed to the level of the pillows; his head on his
  clenched fists; sat Zachary。  It was utterly quiet。  The guttering of
  the leaves had ceased。  When things have come to a crisis; how little
  one feelsno fear; no pity; no sorrow; rather the sense; as when a
  play is over; of anxiety to get away!
  Suddenly Zachary rose; brushed past me without seeing; and ran
  downstairs。
  Some hours later I went out on the path leading to the cove。  It was
  pitch…black; the riding light of the Pied Witch was still there;
  looking no bigger than a firefly。  Then from in front I heard
  sobbinga man's sobs; no sound is quite so dreadful。  Zachary Pearse
  got up out of the bank not ten paces off。
  I had no heart to go after him; and sat down in the hedge。  There was
  something subtly akin to her in the fresh darkness of the young
  night; the soft bank; the scent of honeysuckle; the touch of the
  ferns and brambles。  Death comes to all of us; and when it's over
  it's over; but this blind businessof those left behind
  A little later the ship whistled twice; her starboard light gleamed
  faintlyand that was all。。。。
  VIII
  〃TORQUAY; 30th October 。
  。。。。Do you remember the letters I wrote you from Moor Farm nearly
  three years ago?  To…day I rode over there。  I stopped at Brixham on
  the way for lunch; and walked down to the quay。  There had been a
  showerbut the sun was out again; shining on the sea; the brown…red
  sails; and the rampart of slate roofs。
  A trawler was lying there; which had evidently been in a collision。
  The spiky…bearded; thin…lipped fellow in torn blue jersey and sea…
  boots who was superintending the repairs; said to me a little
  proudly:
  〃Bane in collision; zurr; like to zee over her?〃  Then suddenly
  screwing up his little blue eyes; he added:
  〃Why; I remembers yu。  Steered yu along o' the young lady in this yer
  very craft。〃
  It was Prawle; Zachary Pearse's henchman。
  〃Yes;〃 he went on; 〃that's the cutter。〃
  〃And Captain Pearse?〃
  He leant his back against the quay; and spat。  〃He was a pra…aper
  man; I never zane none like 'en。〃
  〃Did you do any good out there?〃
  Prawle gave me a sharp glance。
  〃Gude?  No; t'was arrm we done; vrom ztart to finishhad trouble all
  the time。  What a man cude du; the skipper did。  When yu caan't du
  right; zome calls it 'Providence'!  'Tis all my eye an' Betty Martin!
  What I zay es; 'tis these times; there's such a dale o' folk; a dale
  of puzzivantin' fellers; the world's to small。〃
  With these words there flashed across me a vision of Drake crushed
  into our modern life by the shrinkage of the world; Drake caught in
  the meshes of red tape; electric wires; and all the lofty appliances
  of our civilization。  Does a type survive its age; live on into times
  that have no room for it?  The blood is thereand sometimes there's
  a throw…back。。。。  All fancy!  Eh?
  〃So;〃 I said; 〃you failed?〃
  Prawle wriggled。
  〃I wudden' goo for to zay that; zurr'tis an ugly word。  Da…am!〃 he
  added; staring at his boots; 〃'twas thru me tu。  We were along among
  the haythen; and I mus' nades goo for to break me leg。  The capt'n he
  wudden' lave me。  'One Devon man;' he says to me; 'don' lave
  anotherr。'  We werr six days where we shuld ha' been tu; when we got
  back to the ship a cruiser had got her for gun…runnin'。〃
  〃And what has become of Captain Pearse?〃
  Prawle answered; 〃Zurr; I belave 'e went to China; 'tis onsartin。〃
  〃He's not dead?〃
  Prawle looked at me with a kind of uneasy anger。
  〃Yu cudden' kell 'en!  'Tis true; mun 'll die zome day。  But therr's
  not a one that'll show better zport than Capt'n Zach'ry Pearse。〃
  I believe that; he will be hard to kill。  The vision of him comes up;
  with his perfect balance; defiant eyes; and sweetish smile; the way
  the hair of his beard crisped a little; and got blacker on the
  cheeks; the sort of desperate feeling he gave; that one would never
  get the better of him; that he would never get the better of himself。
  I took leave of Prawle and half a crown。  Before I was off the quay I
  heard him saying to a lady; 〃Bane in collision; marm!  Like to zee
  over her?〃
  After lunch I rode on to Moor。  The old place looked much the same;
  but the apple…trees were stripped of fruit; and their leaves
  beginning to go yellow and fall。  One of Pasiance's cats passed me in
  the orchard hunting a bird; still with a ribbon round its neck。  John
  Ford showed me all his latest improvements; but never by word or sign
  alluded to the past。  He inquired after Dan; back in New Zealand now;
  without much interest; his stubbly beard and hair have whitened; he
  has grown very stout; and I noticed that his legs are not well under
  control; he often stops to lean on his stick。  He was very ill last
  winter; and sometimes; they say; will go straight off to sleep in the
  middle of a sentence。
  I managed to get a few minutes with the Hopgoods。  We talked of
  Pasiance sitting in the kitchen under a row of plates; with that
  clinging smell of wood…smoke; bacon; and age bringing up memories; as
  nothing but scents can。  The dear old lady's hair; drawn so nicely
  down her forehead on each side from the centre of her cap; has a few
  thin silver lines; and her face is a thought more wrinkled。  The
  tears still come into her eyes when she talks of her 〃lamb。〃
  Of Zachary I heard nothing; but she told me of old Pearse's death。
  〃Therr they found 'en; zo to spake; deadin th' sun; but Ha…apgood
  can tell yu;〃 and Hop