第 54 节
作者:一米八      更新:2021-02-20 18:34      字数:9322
  had not stirred from the far side of the tea cart; and he had not
  opened his arms。  She had given herself with magnificent abandon;
  for the present that satisfied her instincts。  As for him; he was
  not quite sure this miracle might not be a dream; and one false move
  might cause her to vanish。
  〃Johnny; who is Olga?〃 The question was irrepressible。  Perhaps it
  was the last shred of caution binding her。  All of him or none of
  him。  There must be no other woman intervening。
  Hawksley stiffened in his chair。  His hands closed convulsively and
  his eyes lost their brightness。  〃Johnny?〃  Kitty ran round the tea
  cart。  〃What is it?〃  She knelt beside the chair; alarmed; for the
  horror had returned to his face。  〃What did they do to you back
  there?〃  She clasped one of his hands tensely in hers。
  〃In my dreams at night!〃 he said; staring into space。  〃I could run
  away from my pursuers; but I could not run away from my dreams!
  Torches and hobnailed boots! 。。。  They trampled on her; and I; up
  there in the gallery with those damned emeralds in my hands!  Ah;
  if I hadn't gone for them; if I hadn't thought of the extra comforts
  their sale would bring!  There would have been time then; Kitty。
  I had all the other jewels in the pouch。  Horses were ready for us
  to flee on; loyal servants ready to help us; but I thought of the
  drums。  A few more worldly comforts … with hell forcing in the
  doors!
  〃I didn't tell her where I was going。  When I came back it was to
  see her die!  They saw me; and yelled。  I ran away。  I hadn't the
  courage to go down there and die with her!  She thought I was in
  that hell pit。  She went down there to die with me and died
  horribly; alone!  Ah; if I could only shut it out; forget!  Olga;
  my tender young sister; Kitty; the last one of my race I could love。
  And I ran away like a yellow dog; like a yellow dog!  I don't know
  where her grave is; and I could not seek it if I did!  I dared not
  write Stefani; tell him I had seen Olga go down under Karlov's
  heels; and then ran away! 。。。  Day by day to feel those stones
  against my
  heart!〃
  Nothing is more terrible to a woman than the sight of a brave man
  weeping。  For she knew that he was brave。  The sudden recollection
  of the emeralds; a little more comfort for himself and sister if
  they were permitted to escape。  Not a cowardly instinct; not even
  a greedy one; a normal desire to fortify them additionally against
  an unknown future; and he had surrendered to it impulsively; without
  explaining to Olga where he was going。
  〃Johnny; Johnny; you mustn't!〃  She sprang up; seizing his head and
  wildly kissing him。  〃You mustn't!  God understands; and Olga。  Oh;
  you mustn't sob like that!  You are tearing my heart to pieces!〃
  〃I ran away like a yellow dog!  I didn't go down there and die with
  her!〃
  〃You didn't run away to…night when you offered your life for my
  liberty。  Johnny; you mustn't!〃
  Under her tender ministrations the sobs began to die away and soon
  resolved into little catching gasps。  He was weak and spent from
  his injuries; otherwise he would not have given way like this;
  discovered to her what she had not known before; that in every
  man; however strong and valiant he may be; there is a little child。
  〃It has been burning me up; Kitty。〃
  〃I know; I know!  It is because you have a soul full of beautiful
  things; Johnny。  God held you back from dying with Olga because
  He knew I needed you。〃
  〃You will marry me; knowing that I did this thing?〃
  Marry him!  A door to some blinding radiance opened; and she could
  not see for a little while。  Marry him!  What a miserable wretch
  she was to think that he would want her otherwise!  Johnny
  Two…Hawks; fiddling in front of the Metropolitan Opera House; to
  fill a poor blind man's cup!
  〃Yes; Johnny。  Now; yesterdays never were。  For us there is nothing
  but to…morrows。  Out there; in the great country … where souls as
  well as bodies may stretch themselves … we'll start all over again。
  You will be the cowman and I'll be the kitchen wench。  As in the
  beginning; so it will always be hereafter; I'll cook your bacon and
  eggs。〃
  She pulled his chair round and pushed it toward a window; dropped
  beside it and laid her cheek against his hand。
  〃Let us look at the stars; Johnny。  They know。〃  Kuroki; having
  arrived with coffee and sandwiches; paused on the threshold; gazed;
  wheeled right about face; and returned to the kitchen。
  By and by Kitty looked up into Hawksley's face。  He was asleep。
  She got up carefully; lightly kissed the top of his head … the
  old wound … and crossed to Cutty's door。  She must tell dear old
  Cutty of the wonderful happiness that was going to be hers。  She
  opened the study door; but did not enter at once。  Asleep on his
  arms。  Why; he hadn't even opened that Ali Baba's bag!  Tired out
  … done in; as Johnny Two…Hawks called it in his English fashion。
  She waited; but as he did not stir she approached with noiseless
  step。  The light poured full upon his head。  How gray he was!  A
  boundless pity surged over her that this tender; valiant knight
  should have missed what first her mother had known … now she
  herself … requited love。  To have everything in the world without
  that was to have nothing。  She would not wake him; she would let
  him sleep until Captain Harrison came。  Lightly she touched the
  gray head with her lips and stole from the study。
  〃Oh; Molly; Molly!〃 Cutty whispered into his rigid fingers。
  And so they were married; in the apartment; at the top of the world;
  on a May night thick with stars。  It was not a wedding; it was a
  marriage。  The world never knew because it was none of the world's
  business。  Who was Kitty Conover?  A nobody。  Who was John Hawksley?
  Something to be。
  Out of the storm into the calm; which is something of a reversal。
  Generally in love affairs happiness is found in the approach to
  the marriage contract; the disillusions come afterward。  It was
  therefore logical that Kitty and her lover should be happy; as they
  had run the gamut of test and fire beforehand。
  The young people were to leave for the West soon after the supper
  for three。  At midnight Cutty's ship would be boring down the bay。
  Did Kitty regret; even a little; the rice and old shoes; the
  bridesmaids and cake; so dear to the female of the species?  She
  did not。  Did she think occasionally of the splendour of the title
  that was hers?  She did。  To her mind Mrs。 John Hawksley was
  incomparably above and beyond anything in that Bible of autocracy
  … the Almanach de Gotha。
  After supper Cutty brought in the old Amati。
  〃Play;〃 he said; lighting his pipe。
  So Hawksley played … played as he never had played before and
  perhaps as he would never play again。  We reach zenith sometimes;
  but we never stay there。  But he was not playing to Cutty。
  Slate…blue eyes; two books with endless pages; the soul of this
  wife of his。  He had come through。  The miracle had been
  accomplished。  Love。
  Kitty smiled and smiled; the doors of her soul thrown wide to
  absorb this magic message。  Love。
  Cutty smoked on; with his eyes closed。  He heard it; too。  Love。
  〃Well;〃 he said; sighing; 〃I see innovations out there in Montana。
  The round…up will be different。  The Pied Fiddler of Bar…K will
  stand in the corral and fiddle; and the bossies will come galloping
  in; two by two … and a few jackrabbits!〃  He laughed。  〃John; the
  Amati is yours conditionally。  If after one year it is not reclaimed
  it becomes yours automatically。  My wedding present。  Remember; next
  winter; if God wills; you'll come and visit me。〃
  〃As if we could forget!〃 cried Kitty; embracing Cutty; who accepted
  the embrace stoically。  〃I'll be needing clothes; and Johnny will
  have to have his hair cut。  Oh; Cutty; I'm so foolishly happy!〃
  〃Time we started for the choo…choo。  Time…tables have no souls。  But;
  Lord; what a racket we've had!〃
  〃Well; rather!〃 … from Hawksley。
  〃Bo; listen to me。  Out there you must remember that 'bally' and
  'ripping' and 'rather' are premeditated insults。  Gee…whiz!  but
  I'd like a look…see when you say to your rough…and…readies: 'Bally
  rotten weather。  What?' They'll shoot you up。〃
  More banter; which fooled none of the three; as each understood the
  other perfectly。  The hour of separation was at hand; and they
  were fortifying their courage。
  〃Funny old top;〃 was Hawksley's comment as they stood before the
  train gate。  〃Three months gone we were strangers。〃
  〃And now … 〃 began Cutty。
  〃With hoops of steel!〃 interrupted Kitty。  〃You must write; Cutty;
  and Johnny and I will be prompt。〃
  〃You'll get one from the Azores。〃
  〃Train going west!〃
  〃Good luck; children!〃 Cutty pressed Hawksley's hand and pecked at
  Kitty's cheek。  〃Shan't go through with you to the car。  Kuroki is
  waiting。  Good…bye!〃
  The redcaps seized the luggage; and Hawksley and his bride followed
  them through the gate。  Because he was tall Cutty could see them
  until they reached the bumper。  Funny old world; for a fact。  Next
  time they met the wounds would be healed … Hawksley's head and old
  Cutty's heart。  Queer how he felt his fifty…two。  He began to
  recognize one of the truths that had passed by: One did not sense
  age if one