第 5 节
作者:猜火车      更新:2021-02-20 17:38      字数:9322
  individual; but as to the class。 What therefore 〃introduction〃 is among the
  higher     classes    in  Spaceland;      that   the  process     of  〃feeling〃     is  with   us。
  〃Permit me to ask you to feel and be felt by my friend Mr。 So…and…so〃is
  still; among the more old…fashioned of our country gentlemen in districts
  remote from towns; the customary formula for a Flatland introduction。 But
  in   the   towns;   and   among   men   of   business;   the   words   〃be   felt   by〃   are
  omitted and the sentence is abbreviated to; 〃Let me ask you to feel Mr。 So…
  and…so〃;   although   it   is   assumed;   of   course;   that   the   〃feeling〃   is   to   be
  reciprocal。 Among our still more modern and dashing young gentlemen
  who are extremely averse to superfluous effort and supremely indifferent
  to the purity of their native languagethe formula is still further curtailed
  by the use of 〃to feel〃 in a technical sense; meaning; 〃to recommend…for…
  the…purposes…of…feeling…and…being…felt〃; and at this moment the 〃slang〃 of
  polite   or   fast   society   in   the   upper   classes   sanctions   such   a   barbarism   as
  〃Mr。   Smith;   permit   me   to   feel   Mr。   Jones。〃   Let   not   my   Reader   however
  suppose that 〃feeling〃 is with us the tedious process that it would be with
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  you; or that we find it necessary to feel right round all the sides of every
  individual      before    we    determine      the  class   to   which    he   belongs。     Long
  practice and training; begun in the schools and continued in the experience
  of   daily   life;   enable   us   to   discriminate   at   once   by   the   sense   of   touch;
  between the angles of an equal…sided Triangle; Square; and Pentagon; and
  I   need   not   say   that   the   brainless   vertex   of   an   acute…angled   Isosceles   is
  obvious to the dullest touch。 It is therefore not necessary; as a rule; to do
  more than feel a single angle of an individual; and this; once ascertained;
  tells us the class of the person whom we are addressing; unless indeed he
  belongs   to   the   higherSECTIONs   of   the   nobility。   There   the   difficulty   is
  much greater。 Even a Master of Arts in our University of Wentbridge has
  been known to confuse a ten…sided with a twelve…sided Polygon; and there
  is   hardly   a   Doctor   of   Science   in   or   out   of   that   famous   University   who
  could   pretend   to   decide   promptly   and   unhesitatingly   between   a   twenty…
  sided and a twenty…four sided member of the Aristocracy。
  Those   of   my   readers   who   recall   the   extracts   I   gave   above   from   the
  Legislative code concerning Women; will readily perceive that the process
  of   introduction   by   contact   requires   some   care   and   discretion。   Otherwise
  the   angles   might   inflict   on   the   unwary   Feeling   irreparable   injury。   It   is
  essential   for   the  safety  of   the   Feeler   that   the  Felt   should   stand   perfectly
  still。 A start; a fidgety shifting of the position; yes; even a violent sneeze;
  has been known before now to prove fatal to the incautious; and to nip in
  the   bud   many   a   promising   friendship。   Especially   is   this   true   among   the
  lower classes of the Triangles。 With them; the eye is situated so far from
  their vertex that they can scarcely take cognizance of what goes on at that
  extremity of their frame。 They are; moreover; of a rough coarse nature; not
  sensitive   to   the   delicate   touch   of   the   highly   organized   Polygon。   What
  wonder then if an involuntary toss of the head has ere now deprived the
  State of a valuable life!
  I have heard that my excellent Grandfatherone of the least irregular
  of   his   unhappy   Isosceles   class;   who   indeed   obtained;   shortly   before   his
  decease; four out of seven votes from the Sanitary and Social Board for
  passing him into the class of the Equal…sided often deplored; with a tear
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  in his venerable eye; a miscarriage of this kind; which had occurred to his
  great…great…great…Grandfather; a respectable Working Man with an angle or
  brain     of   59   degrees     30    minutes。     According       to   his   account;    my
  unfortunately Ancestor; being afflicted with rheumatism; and in the act of
  being   felt   by   a   Polygon;   by   one   sudden   start   accidentally   transfixed   the
  Great Man through the diagonal and thereby; partly in consequence of his
  long imprisonment and degradation; and partly because of the moral shock
  which   pervaded   the   whole   of   my   Ancestor's   relations;   threw   back   our
  family a degree and a half in their ascent towards better things。 The result
  was that in the next generation the family brain was registered at only 58
  degrees;   and   not   till   the   lapse   of   five   generations   was   the   lost   ground
  recovered; the full 60 degrees attained; and the Ascent from the Isosceles
  finally achieved。 And all this series of calamities from one little accident
  in the process of Feeling。
  As this point I think I hear some of my better educated readers exclaim;
  〃How could you in Flatland know anything about angles and degrees; or
  minutes? We SEE an angle; because we; in the region of Space; can see
  two straight lines inclined to one another; but you; who can see nothing
  but   on   straight   line   at   a   time;   or   at   all   events   only   a   number   of   bits   of
  straight lines all in one straight line; how can you ever discern an angle;
  and much less register angles of different sizes?〃
  I answer that though we cannot SEE angles; we can INFER them; and
  this with great precision。 Our sense of touch; stimulated by necessity; and
  developed   by   long   training;   enables   us   to   distinguish       angles   far   more
  accurately than your sense of sight; when unaided by a rule or measure of
  angles。 nor must I omit to explain that we have great natural helps。 It is
  with us a Law of Nature that the brain of the Isosceles class shall begin at
  half a degree; or thirty minutes; and shall increase (if it increases at all) by
  half a degree in every generation until the goal of 60 degrees is reached;
  when the condition of serfdom is quitted; and the freeman enters the class
  of Regulars。
  Consequently;   Nature   herself   supplies   us   with   an   ascending   scale   or
  Alphabet of angles for half a degree up to 60 degrees; Specimen of which
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  are   placed   in   every   Elementary   School   throughout   the   land。   Owing   to
  occasional   retrogressions;         to  still  more   frequent    moral   and     intellectual
  stagnation;      and    to   the   extraordinary      fecundity     of   the   Criminal     and
  Vagabond classes; there is always a vast superfluity of individuals of the
  half degree and single degree class; and a fair abundance of Specimens up
  to   10   degrees。  These   are   absolutely   destitute   of   civil   rights;   and   a   great
  number of them; not having even intelligence enough for the purposes of
  warfare;   are   devoted   by   the   States   to   the   service   of   education。   Fettered
  immovably so as to remove all possibility of danger; they are placed in the
  classrooms of our Infant Schools; and there they are utilized by the Board
  of Education for the purpose of imparting to the offspring of the Middle
  Classes      the    tact   and    intelligence      which     these    wretched      creatures
  themselves are utterly devoid。
  In   some   States   the   Specimens   are   occasionally   fed   and   suffered   to
  exist   for   several   years;   but   in   the   more   temperate   and   better   regulated
  regions; it is found in the long run more advantageous for the educational
  interests of the young; to dispense with food; and to renew the Specimens
  every     monthwhich         is  about    the   average      duration    of   the   foodless
  existence of the Criminal class。 In the cheaper schools; what is gained by
  the longer existence of the Specimen is lost; partly in the expenditure for
  food;    and    partly   in  the  diminished      accuracy   of    the   angles;    which    are
  impaired after a few weeks of constant 〃feeling。〃 Nor must we forget to
  add; in enumerating the advantages of the more expensive system; that it
  tends; though slightly yet perceptibly; to the diminution of the redundant
  Isosceles      population      an   object    which     every    statesman      in  Flatland
  constantly      keeps