第 7 节
作者:别克陆上公务舱      更新:2021-02-20 17:13      字数:9321
  The younger man had the physical makeup of the older; though of a
  slighter mould。  They had the same high; proud look of conscious
  strength; of cool fearlessness that nothing could fluster。  But the
  soul that looked out of the grey eyes of the son was quite another
  from that which looked out of the deep blue eyes of the father
  yet; after all; the difference may not have been in essence but
  only that the older man's soul had learned in life's experience to
  look out only through a veil。
  The soul of the youth was eager; adventurous; still believing; yet
  with a certain questioning and a touch of weariness; a result of
  the aftermath of peace following three years of war。  There was
  still; however; the out…looking for far horizons; the outreaching
  imagination; the Heaven given expectation of the Infinite。  In the
  older man's eye dwelt chiefly reserve。  The veil was always there
  except when he found it wise and useful to draw it aside。  If ever
  the inner light flamed forth it was when the man so chose。  Self…
  mastery; shrewdness; power; knowledge; lay in the dark blue eyes;
  and all at the soul's command。
  But to…night as the father's eyes rested upon his son who stood
  gazing into and through the blazing fire there were to be seen only
  pride and wistful love。  But as the son turned his eyes toward his
  father the veil fell and the eyes that answered were quiet; shrewd;
  keen and chiefly kind。
  The talk had passed beyond the commonplace of the day's doings。
  They were among the big things; the fateful thingLife and Its
  Worth; Work and Its Wages; Creative Industry and Its Product;
  Capital and Its Price; Man and His Rights。
  They were frank with each other。  The war had done that for them。
  For ever since the night when his eighteen…year…old boy had walked
  into his den and said; 〃Father; I am eighteen;〃 and stood looking
  into his eyes and waiting for the word that came straight and
  unhesitating; 〃I know; boy; you are my son and you must go; for I
  cannot;〃 ever since that night; which seemed now to belong to
  another age; these two had faced each other as men。  Now they were
  talking about the young man's life work。
  〃Frankly; I don't like it; Dad;〃 said the son。
  〃Easy to see that; Jack。〃
  〃I'm really sorry。  I'm afraid anyone can see it。  But somehow I
  can't put much pep into it。〃
  〃Why?〃 asked the father; with curt abruptness。
  〃Why?  Well; I hardly know。  Somehow it hardly seems worth while。
  It is not the grind of the office; though that is considerable。  I
  could stick that; but; after all; what's the use?〃
  〃What would you rather do; Jack?〃 enquired his father patiently; as
  if talking to a child。  〃You tried for the medical profession; you
  know; and〃
  〃I know; I know; you are quite right about it。  You may think it
  pure laziness。  Maybe it is; but I hardly think so。  Perhaps I went
  back to lectures too soon after the war。  I was hardly fit; I
  guess; and the whole thing; the inside life; the infernal grind of
  lectures; the idiotic serious mummery of the youngsters; those
  blessed kids who should have been spanked by their mothersthe
  whole thing sickened me in three months。  If I had waited perhaps I
  might have done better at the thing。  I don't knowhard to tell。〃
  The boy paused; looking into the fire。
  〃It was my fault; boy;〃 said the father hastily。  〃I ought to have
  figured the thing out differently。  But; you see; I had no
  knowledge of what you had gone through and of its effect upon you。
  I know better now。  I thought that the harder you went into the
  work the better it would be for you。  I made a mistake。〃
  〃Well; you couldn't tell; Dad。  How could you?  But everything was
  so different when I came back。  Mere kids were carrying on where we
  had been; and doing it well; too; by Jove; and we didn't seem to be
  needed。〃
  〃Needed; boy?〃  The father's voice was thick。
  〃Yes; but I didn't see that then。  Selfish; I fear。  Then; you
  know; home was not the same〃
  The older man choked back a groan and leaned hard against the
  mantel。
  〃I know; Dad; I can see now I was selfish〃
  〃Selfish?  Don't say that; my lad。  Selfish?  After all you had
  gone through?  No; I shall never apply that word to you; but you
  you don't seem to realise〃  The father hesitated a few moments;
  then; as if taking a plunge:
  〃You don't realise just how big a thinghow big an investment
  there is in that business down there。〃  His hand swept toward the
  window through which could be seen the lights of that part of the
  town which clustered about the various mills and factories of which
  he was owner。
  〃I know there is a lot; Dad; but how much I don't know。〃
  〃There's 250;000 in plant alone; boy; but there's more than money;
  a lot more than money〃  Then; after a pause; as if to himself; 〃A
  lot more than moneythere's brain sweat and heart agony and
  prayers and tearsand; yes; life; boy; your mother's life and
  mine。  We worked and saved and prayed and planned〃
  He stepped quickly toward the window; drew aside the curtain and
  pointed to a dark mass of headland beyond the twinkling lights。
  〃You see the Bluff there。  Fifty years ago I stood with my father
  on that Bluff and watched the logs come down the river to the
  sawmillhis sawmill; into which he had put his total capital; five
  hundred dollars。  I remember well his words; 'My son; if you live
  out your life you will see on that flat a town where thousands of
  men and women will find homes and; please God; happiness。'  Your
  mother and I watched that town grow for forty years; and we tried
  to make people happyat least; if they were not it was no fault of
  hers。  Of course; other hands have been at the work since then; but
  her hands and mine more than any other; and more than all others
  together were in it; and her heart; too; was in it all。〃
  The boy turned from the window and sat down heavily in a deep
  armchair; his hands covering his face。  His heart was still sick
  with the ache that had smitten it that day in front of Amiens when
  the Colonel; his father's friend; had sent for him and read him the
  wire which had brought the terrible message of his mother's death。
  The long months of days and nights heavy with watching; toiling;
  praying; agonising; for her twin sons; and for the many boys who
  had gone out from the little town wore out her none too robust
  strength。  Then; the sniper's bullet that had pierced the heart of
  her boy seemed to reach to her heart as well。  After that; the home
  that once had been to its dwellers the most completely heart…
  satisfying spot in all the world became a place of dread; of
  haunting ghosts; of acutely poignant memories。  They used the house
  for sleeping in and for eating in; but there was no living in it
  longer。  To them it was a tomb; though neither would acknowledge it
  and each bore with it for the other's sake。
  〃Honestly; Dad; I wish I could make it go; for your sake〃
  〃For my sake; boy?  Why; I have all of it I care for。  Not for my
  sake。  But what else can we do but stick it?〃
  〃I suppose sobut for Heaven's sake give me something worth a
  man's doing。  If I could tackle a job such as you and〃the boy
  winced〃you and mother took on I believe I'd try it。  But that
  office!  Any fool could sit in my place and carry on。  It is like
  the job they used to give to the crocks or the slackers at the base
  to do。  Give me a man's job。〃
  The father's keen blue eyes looked his son over。
  〃A man's job?〃 he said; with a grim smile; realising as his son did
  not how much of a man's job it was。  〃Suppose you learn this one as
  I did?〃
  〃What do you mean; Dad; exactly?  How did you begin?〃
  〃I?  At the tail of the saw。〃
  〃All right; I'm game。〃
  〃Boy; you are rightI believe in my soul you are right。  You did a
  man's job 'out there' and you have it in you to do a man's job
  again。〃
  The son shrugged his shoulders。  Next morning at seven they were
  down at the planing mill where men were doing men's work。  He was
  at a man's job; at the tail of a saw; and drawing a man's pay;
  rubbing shoulders with men on equal terms; as he had in the
  trenches。  And for the first time since Armistice Day; if not happy
  or satisfied; he was content to carry on。
  CHAPTER IV
  ANNETTE
  Sam Wigglesworth had finished with school; which is not quite the
  same as saying that he had finished his education。  A number of
  causes had combined to bring this event to pass。  First; Sam was
  beyond the age of compulsory attendance at the Public School; the
  School Register recording him as sixteen years old。  Then; Sam's
  educational career had been anything but brilliant。  Indeed; it
  might fairly be described as dull。  All his life he had been behind
  his class; the biggest boy in his class; which fact might have been
  to Sam a constant cause of humiliation had he not held as of the
  slightest moment merely academic achievements。  One unpleasant
  effect which this fact had upon Sam's moral quality was that it
  tended to make him a bully。  He was physically the superior of all
  in his class; and this superiority he exerted for what he deemed
  the discipline of younger and weaker boys; who excelled him in
  intellectual attainment。
  Furthermore; Sam; while quite ready to enforce the code of
  di