第 27 节
作者:
浮游云中 更新:2021-02-20 16:27 字数:9322
upon him。 His feelings were of so complex a nature; he was anxious to
keep his more magnanimous impulses active; and he strove hard to
convince himself that she was still the same to him as she had been before
they had ever parted。 But; alas! though the heart be warm and generous;
the eye is a merciless critic。 And the man who had moved on the wide
arena of the world; whose mind had housed the large thoughts of this
century; and expanded with its invigorating breath;was he to blame
because he had unconsciously outgrown his old provincial self; and could
no more judge by its standards?
Bertha's father was a peasant; but he had; by his lumber trade; acquired
what in Norway was called a very handsome fortune。 He received his
guest with dignified reserve; and Ralph thought he detected in his eyes a
lurking look of distrust。 〃I know your errand;〃 that look seemed to say;
〃but you had better give it up at once。 It will be of no use for you to try。〃
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And after supper; as Ralph and Bertha sat talking confidingly with
each other at the window; he sent his daughter a quick; sharp glance; and
then; without ceremony; commanded her to go to bed。 Ralph's heart gave
a great thump within him; not because he feared the old man; but because
his words; as well as his glances; revealed to him the sad history of these
long; patient years。 He doubted no longer that the love which he had
once so ardently desired was his at last; and he made a silent vow that;
come what might; he would remain faithful。
As he came down to breakfast the next morning; he found Bertha
sitting at the window; engaged in hemming what appeared to be a rough
kitchen towel。 She bent eagerly over her work; and only a vivid flush
upon her cheek told him that she had noticed his coming。 He took a chair;
seated himself opposite her; and bade her 〃good…morning。〃 She raised
her head; and showed him a sweet; troubled countenance; which the early
sunlight illumined with a high spiritual beauty。 It reminded him forcibly
of those pale; sweet…faced saints of Fra Angelico; with whom the frail
flesh seems ever on the point of yielding to the ardent aspirations of the
spirit。 And still; even in this moment he could not prevent his eyes from
observing that one side of her forefinger was rough from sewing; and that
the whiteness of her arm; which the loose sleeves displayed; contrasted
strongly with the browned and sun…burned complexion of her hands。
After breakfast they again walked together on the beach; and Ralph;
having once formed his resolution; now talked freely of the New World
of his sphere of activity there; of his friends and of his plans for the future;
and she listened to him with a mild; perplexed look in her eyes; as if trying
vainly to follow the flight of his thoughts。 And he wondered; with secret
dismay; whether she was still the same strong; brave…hearted girl whom he
had once accounted almost bold; whether the life in this narrow valley;
amid a hundred petty and depressing cares; had not cramped her spiritual
growth; and narrowed the sphere of her thought。 Or was she still the
same; and was it only he who had changed? At last he gave utterance to
his wonder; and she answered him in those grave; earnest tones which
seemed in themselves to be half a refutation of his doubts。
〃It was easy for me to give you daring advice; then; Ralph;〃 she said。
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TALES FROM TWO HEMISPHERES。
〃Like most school… girls; I thought that life was a great and glorious thing;
and that happiness was a fruit which hung within reach of every hand。
Now I have lived for six years trying single…handed to relieve the want and
suffering of the needy people with whom I come in contact; and their
squalor and wretchedness have sickened me; and; what is still worse; I feel
that all I can do is as a drop in the ocean; and after all; amounts to nothing。
I know I am no longer the same reckless girl; who; with the very best
intention; sent you wandering through the wide world; and I thank God
that it proved to be for your good; although the whole now appears quite
incredible to me。 My thoughts have moved so long within the narrow
circle of these mountains that they have lost their youthful elasticity; and
can no more rise above them。〃
Ralph detected; in the midst of her despondency; a spark of her former
fire; and grew eloquent in his endeavors to persuade her that she was
unjust to herself; and that there was but a wider sphere of life needed to
develop all the latent powers of her rich nature。
At the dinner…table; her father again sat eyeing his guest with that same
cold look of distrust and suspicion。 And when the meal was at an end; he
rose abruptly and called his daughter into another room。 Presently Ralph
heard his angry voice resounding through the house; interrupted now and
then by a woman's sobs; and a subdued; passionate pleading。 When
Bertha again entered the room; her eyes were very red; and he saw that she
had been weeping。 She threw a shawl over her shoulders; beckoned to
him with her hand; and he arose and followed her。 She led the way
silently until they reached a thick copse of birch and alder near the strand。
She dropped down upon a bench between two trees; and he took his seat at
her side。
〃Ralph;〃 began she; with a visible effort; 〃I hardly know what to say to
you; but there is something which I must tell youmy father wishes you to
leave us at once。〃
〃And YOU; Bertha?〃
〃WellyesI wish it too。〃
She saw the painful shock which her words gave him; and she strove
hard to speak。 Her lips trembled; her eyes became suffused with tears;
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which grew and grew; but never fell; she could not utter a word。
〃Well; Bertha;〃 answered he; with a little quiver in his voice; 〃if you;
too; wish me to go; I shall not tarry。 Good…bye。〃
He rose quickly; and; with averted face; held out his hand to her; but as
she made no motion to grasp the hand; he began distractedly to button his
coat; and moved slowly away。
〃Ralph。〃
He turned sharply; and; before he knew it; she lay sobbing upon his
breast。
〃Ralph;〃 she murmured; while the tears almost choked her words; 〃I
could not have you leave me thus。 It is hard enoughit is hard enough〃
〃What is hard; beloved?〃
She raised her head abruptly; and turned upon him a gaze full of hope
and doubt; and sweet perplexity。
〃Ah; no; you do not love me;〃 she whispered; sadly。
〃Why should I come to seek you; after these many years; dearest; if I
did not wish to make you my wife before God and men? Why should I
〃
〃Ah; yes; I know;〃 she interrupted him with a fresh fit of weeping;
〃you are too good and honest to wish to throw me away; now when you
have seen how my soul has hungered for the sight of you these many years;
how even now I cling to you with a despairing clutch。 But you cannot
disguise yourself; Ralph; and I saw from the first moment that you loved
me no more。〃
〃Do not be such an unreasonable child;〃 he remonstrated; feebly。 〃I
do not love you with the wild; irrational passion of former years; but I
have the tenderest regard for you; and my heart warms at the sight of your
sweet face; and I shall do all in my power to make you as happy as any
man can make you who〃
〃Who does not love me;〃 she finished。
A sudden shudder seemed to shake her whole frame; and she drew
herself more tightly up to him。
〃Ah; no;〃 she continued; after a while; sinking back upon her seat。
〃It is a hopeless thing to compel a reluctant heart。 I w