第 26 节
作者:浮游云中      更新:2021-02-20 16:27      字数:9322
  prepare     himself    for  greater   usefulness     in  times   to  come。     He    felt  in
  himself a stronger and fuller manhood; as if the great arteries of the vast
  universal     world…life    pulsed    in  his  own    being。    The     drowsy;    indolent
  existence at home appeared like a dull remote dream from which he had
  awaked;   and   he   blessed   the   destiny   which;   by   its   very   sternness;   had
  mercifully saved him; he blessed her; too; who; from the very want of love
  for him; had; perhaps; made him worthier of love。
  The years flew rapidly。         Society had flung its doors open to him; and
  what   was   more;   he   had   found   some   warm   friends;   in   whose   houses   he
  could come and go at pleasure。            He enjoyed keenly the privilege of daily
  association with high…minded and refined women; their eager activity of
  intellect stimulated him; their exquisite ethereal grace and their delicately
  chiseled beauty satisfied his aesthetic cravings; and the responsive vivacity
  of   their   nature   prepared     him   ever   new    surprises。    He    felt  a  strange
  fascination in the presence of these women; and the conviction grew upon
  him   that   their   type   of   womanhood   was   superior   to   any   he   had   hitherto
  known。      And by way of refuting his own argument; he would draw from
  his    pocket…book       the    photograph      of   Bertha;     which     had    a   secret
  compartment there all to itself; and;   gazing tenderly at it; would   eagerly
  defend     her   against    the  disparaging     reflections    which     the  involuntary
  comparison had provoked。             And still; how could he help seeing that her
  features; though well molded; lacked animation; that her eye; with its deep;
  trustful glance; was not brilliant; and that the calm earnestness of her face;
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  when compared with the bright; intellectual beauty of his present friends;
  appeared   pale   and   simple;   like   a   violet   in   a   bouquet   of   vividly   colored
  roses?     It gave him a quick pang; when; at times; he was forced to admit
  this; nevertheless; it was the truth。
  After six years of residence in America; Ralph had gained a very high
  reputation as a journalist of rare culture and ability; and; in 1867 he was
  sent to the World's Exhibition in Paris; as correspondent of the paper on
  which he had during all these years been employed。                   What wonder; then;
  that he started for Europe a few weeks before his presence was needed in
  the imperial city; and that he steered his course directly toward the fjord
  valley   where   Bertha   had   her   home?        It   was   she   who   had   bidden   him
  Godspeed   when   he   fled   from  the   land   of   his   birth;   and   she;   too;   should
  receive his first greeting on his return。
  V。
  The sun had fortified itself behind a citadel of flaming clouds; and the
  upper   forest   region   shone   with   a   strange   ethereal   glow;   while   the   lower
  plains    were    wrapped      in  shadow;     but   the  shadow      itself  had   a  strong
  suffusion      of  color。    The    mountain      peaks    rose   cold   and    blue   in  the
  distance。
  Ralph; having inquired his way of the boatman who had landed him at
  the pier; walked rapidly along the beach; with a small valise in his hand;
  and a light summer overcoat flung over his shoulder。                 Many half…thoughts
  grazed   his   mind;   and   ere   the   first   had   taken   shape;   the   second;   and   the
  third   came   and   chased   it   away。    And   still   they   all   in   some   fashion   had
  reference to Bertha; for in a misty; abstract way; she filled his whole mind;
  but   for   some   indefinable   reason;   he   was   afraid   to   give   free   rein   to   the
  sentiment which lurked in the remoter corners of his soul。
  Onward   he   hastened;   while   his   heart   throbbed   with   the   quickening
  tempo of mingled expectation and fear。               Now and then one of those chill
  gusts of air which seem to be careering about aimlessly in the atmosphere
  during early summer; would strike into his face; and recall him to a keener
  self…consciousness。
  Ralph concluded; from his increasing agitation; that he must be very
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  near   Bertha's   home。      He   stopped   and   looked   around   him。        He   saw   a
  large maple at the roadside; some thirty steps from where he was standing;
  and   the   girl   who   was   sitting   under   it;   resting   her   head   in   her   hand   and
  gazing   out   over   the   sea;   he   recognized   in   an   instant   to   be   Bertha。 He
  sprang   up   on   the   road;   not   crossing;   however;   her   line   of   vision;   and
  approached her noiselessly from behind。
  〃Bertha;〃 he whispered。
  She   gave   a   little   joyous   cry;   sprang   up;   and   made   a   gesture   as   if   to
  throw herself in his arms; then suddenly checked herself; blushed crimson;
  and moved a step backward。
  〃You came so suddenly;〃 she murmured。
  〃But; Bertha;〃 cried he (and the full bass of his voice rang through her
  very soul); 〃have I gone into exile and waited these many years for so cold
  a welcome?〃
  〃You   have   changed   so   much;   Ralph;〃   she   answered;   with   that   old
  grave   smile   which   he   knew   so   well;   and   stretched   out   both   her   hands
  toward him。       〃And I have thought of you so much since you went away;
  and   blamed   myself   because   I   had   judged   you   so   harshly;   and   wondered
  that you could listen to me so patiently; and never bear me any malice for
  what I said。〃
  〃If you had said a word less;〃 declared Ralph; seating himself at her
  side on the greensward; 〃or if you had varnished it over with politeness;
  then you would probably have failed to produce any effect and I should
  not have been burdened with that heavy debt of gratitude which I now owe
  you。     I   was   a   pretty   thick…skinned   animal   in   those   days;   Bertha。   You
  said the right word at the right moment; you gave me a hold and a good
  piece of advice; which my own ingenuity would never have suggested to
  me。     I   will   not   thank   you;   because;   in   so   grave   a   case   as   this;   spoken
  thanks sound like a mere mockery。             Whatever I am; Bertha; and whatever
  I may hope to be; I owe it all to that hour。〃
  She listened with rapture to the manly assurance of his voice; her eyes
  dwelt   with   unspeakable   joy   upon   his   strong;   bronzed   features;   his   full
  thick blonde beard; and the vigorous proportions of his frame。                  Many and
  many a time during his absence had she wondered how he would look if
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  he   ever   came   back;   and   with   that   minute   conscientiousness   which;   as   it
  were;    pervaded     her   whole    character;    she   had   held   herself   responsible
  before   God   for   his   fate;   prayed   for   him;   and   trembled   lest   evil   powers
  should gain the ascendency over his soul。
  On their way to the house they talked together of many things; but in a
  guarded;      cautious    fashion;    and   without    the   cheerful    abandonment       of
  former years。       They both; as it were; groped their way carefully in each
  other's minds; and each vaguely felt that there was something in the other's
  thought which it was not well to touch unbidden。                 Bertha saw that all her
  fears   for   him   had   been   groundless;   and   his   very   appearance   lifted   the
  whole weight of responsibility from her breast; and still; did she rejoice at
  her deliverance from her burden?             Ah; no; in this moment she knew that
  that   which   she   had   foolishly   cherished   as   the   best   and   noblest   part   of
  herself; had been but a selfish need of her own heart。               She feared that she
  had only taken that interest in him which one feels in a thing of one's own
  making; and now; when she saw that he had risen quite above her; that he
  was free and strong; and could have no more need of her; she had; instead
  of generous pleasure at his success; but a painful sense of emptiness; as if
  something very dear had been taken from her。
  Ralph;   too;   was   loath   to   analyze   the   impression   his   old   love   made
  upon him。       His feelings were of so c