第 70 节
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这就是结局 更新:2021-02-20 15:58 字数:9322
delicate health; and too fine an organisation of the nerves
rendered her susceptible to every impression that could influence
the health of the frame through the sympathy of the mind。 But as
she never complained; and as the singular serenity of her manners
seemed to betoken an equanimity of temperament which; with the
vulgar; might have passed for indifference; her sufferings had so
long been borne unnoticed that it ceased to be an effort to
disguise them。 Though; as I have said; not handsome; her
countenance was interesting and pleasing; and there was that
caressing kindness; that winning charm about her smile; her
manners; her anxiety to please; to comfort; and to soothe which
went at once to the heart; and made her lovely;because so
loving。
Such was the sister whom Glyndon had so long neglected; and whom
he now so cordially welcomed。 Adela had passed many years a
victim to the caprices; and a nurse to the maladies; of a selfish
and exacting relation。 The delicate and generous and respectful
affection of her brother was no less new to her than delightful。
He took pleasure in the happiness he created; he gradually weaned
himself from other society; he felt the charm of home。 It is not
surprising; then; that this young creature; free and virgin from
every more ardent attachment; concentrated all her grateful love
on this cherished and protecting relative。 Her study by day; her
dream by night; was to repay him for his affection。 She was
proud of his talents; devoted to his welfare; the smallest trifle
that could interest him swelled in her eyes to the gravest
affairs of life。 In short; all the long…hoarded enthusiasm;
which was her perilous and only heritage; she invested in this
one object of her holy tenderness; her pure ambition。
But in proportion as Glyndon shunned those excitements by which
he had so long sought to occupy his time or distract his
thoughts; the gloom of his calmer hours became deeper and more
continuous。 He ever and especially dreaded to be alone; he could
not bear his new companion to be absent from his eyes: he rode
with her; walked with her; and it was with visible reluctance;
which almost partook of horror; that he retired to rest at an
hour when even revel grows fatigued。 This gloom was not that
which could be called by the soft name of melancholy;it was far
more intense; it seemed rather like despair。 Often after a
silence as of deathso heavy; abstracted; motionless; did it
appearhe would start abruptly; and cast hurried glances around
him;his limbs trembling; his lips livid; his brows bathed in
dew。 Convinced that some secret sorrow preyed upon his mind; and
would consume his health; it was the dearest as the most natural
desire of Adela to become his confidant and consoler。 She
observed; with the quick tact of the delicate; that he disliked
her to seem affected by; or even sensible of; his darker moods。
She schooled herself to suppress her fears and her feelings。 She
would not ask his confidence;she sought to steal into it。 By
little and little she felt that she was succeeding。 Too wrapped
in his own strange existence to be acutely observant of the
character of others; Glyndon mistook the self…content of a
generous and humble affection for constitutional fortitude; and
this quality pleased and soothed him。 It is fortitude that the
diseased mind requires in the confidant whom it selects as its
physician。 And how irresistible is that desire to communicate!
How often the lonely man thought to himself; 〃My heart would be
lightened of its misery; if once confessed!〃 He felt; too; that
in the very youth; the inexperience; the poetical temperament of
Adela; he could find one who would comprehend and bear with him
better than any sterner and more practical nature。 Mervale would
have looked on his revelations as the ravings of madness; and
most men; at best; as the sicklied chimeras; the optical
delusions; of disease。 Thus gradually preparing himself for that
relief for which he yearned; the moment for his disclosure
arrived thus:
One evening; as they sat alone together; Adela; who inherited
some portion of her brother's talent in art; was employed in
drawing; and Glyndon; rousing himself from meditations less
gloomy than usual; rose; and affectionately passing his arm round
her waist; looked over her as she sat。 An exclamation of dismay
broke from his lips;he snatched the drawing from her hand:
〃What are you about?what portrait is this?〃
〃Dear Clarence; do you not remember the original?it is a copy
from that portrait of our wise ancestor which our poor mother
used to say so strongly resembled you。 I thought it would please
you if I copied it from memory。〃
〃Accursed was the likeness!〃 said Glyndon; gloomily。 〃Guess you
not the reason why I have shunned to return to the home of my
fathers!because I dreaded to meet that portrait!because
becausebut pardon me; I alarm you!〃
〃Ah; no;no; Clarence; you never alarm me when you speak: only
when you are silent! Oh; if you thought me worthy of your trust;
oh; if you had given me the right to reason with you in the
sorrows that I yearn to share!〃
Glyndon made no answer; but paced the room for some moments with
disordered strides。 He stopped at last; and gazed at her
earnestly。 〃Yes; you; too; are his descendant; you know that
such men have lived and suffered; you will not mock me; you
will not disbelieve! Listen! hark!what sound is that?〃
〃But the wind on the house…top; Clarence;but the wind。〃
〃Give me your hand; let me feel its living clasp; and when I have
told you; never revert to the tale again。 Conceal it from all:
swear that it shall die with us;the last of our predestined
race!〃
〃Never will I betray your trust; I swear it;never!〃 said Adela;
firmly; and she drew closer to his side。 Then Glyndon commenced
his story。 That which; perhaps; in writing; and to minds
prepared to question and disbelieve; may seem cold and
terrorless; became far different when told by those blanched
lips; with all that truth of suffering which convinces and
appalls。 Much; indeed; he concealed; much he involuntarily
softened; but he revealed enough to make his tale intelligible
and distinct to his pale and trembling listener。 〃At daybreak;〃
he said; 〃I left that unhallowed and abhorred abode。 I had one
hope still;I would seek Mejnour through the world。 I would
force him to lay at rest the fiend that haunted my soul。 With
this intent I journeyed from city to city。 I instituted the most
vigilant researches through the police of Italy。 I even employed
the services of the Inquisition at Rome; which had lately
asserted its ancient powers in the trial of the less dangerous
Cagliostro。 All was in vain; not a trace of him could be
discovered。 I was not alone; Adela。〃 Here Glyndon paused a
moment; as if embarrassed; for in his recital; I need scarcely
say that he had only indistinctly alluded to Fillide; whom the
reader may surmise to be his companion。 〃I was not alone; but
the associate of my wanderings was not one in whom my soul could
confide;faithful and affectionate; but without education;
without faculties to comprehend me; with natural instincts rather
than cultivated reason; one in whom the heart might lean in its
careless hours; but with whom the mind could have no commune; in
whom the bewildered spirit could seek no guide。 Yet in the
society of this person the demon troubled me not。 Let me explain
yet more fully the dread conditions of its presence。 In coarse
excitement; in commonplace life; in the wild riot; in the fierce
excess; in the torpid lethargy of that animal existence which we
share with the brutes; its eyes were invisible; its whisper was
unheard。 But whenever the soul would aspire; whenever the
imagination kindled to the loftier ends; whenever the
consciousness of our proper destiny struggled against the
unworthy life I pursued; then; Adelathen; it cowered by my side
in the light of noon; or sat by my bed;a Darkness visible
through the Dark。 If; in the galleries of Divine Art; the dreams
of my youth woke the early emulation;if I turned to the
thoughts of sages; if the example of the great; if the converse
of the wise; aroused the silenced intellect; the demon was with
me as by a spell。 At last; one evening; at Genoa; to which city
I had travelled in pursuit of the mystic; suddenly; and when
least expected; he appeared before me。 It was the time of the
Carnival。 It was in one of those half…frantic scenes of noise
and revel; call it not gayety; which establish a heathen
saturnalia in the midst of a Christian festival。 Wearied with
the dance; I had entered a room in which several revellers were
seated; drinking; singing; shouting; and in their fantastic
dresses and hideous masks; their orgy seemed scarcely human。 I
placed myself amongst them; and in that fearful exciteme