第 66 节
作者:这就是结局      更新:2021-02-20 15:58      字数:9322
  sensual; and a brief experiment of thy patience and thy faith。
  Go back to thine own world; thou hast no nature to aspire to
  ours!
  〃It was I who prepared Paolo to receive thee at the revel。  It
  was I who instigated the old beggar to ask thee for alms。  It was
  I who left open the book that thou couldst not read without
  violating my command。  Well; thou hast seen what awaits thee at
  the threshold of knowledge。  Thou hast confronted the first foe
  that menaces him whom the senses yet grasp and inthrall。  Dost
  thou wonder that I close upon thee the gates forever?  Dost thou
  not comprehend; at last; that it needs a soul tempered and
  purified and raised; not by external spells; but by its own
  sublimity and valour; to pass the threshold and disdain the foe?
  Wretch! all my silence avails nothing for the rash; for the
  sensual;for him who desires our secrets but to pollute them to
  gross enjoyments and selfish vice。  How have the imposters and
  sorcerers of the earlier times perished by their very attempt to
  penetrate the mysteries that should purify; and not deprave!
  They have boasted of the Philosopher's Stone; and died in rags;
  of the immortal elixir; and sunk to their grave; grey before
  their time。  Legends tell you that the fiend rent them into
  fragments。  Yes; the fiend of their own unholy desires and
  criminal designs!  What they coveted; thou covetest; and if thou
  hadst the wings of a seraph thou couldst soar not from the slough
  of thy mortality。  Thy desire for knowledge; but petulant
  presumption; thy thirst for happiness; but the diseased longing
  for the unclean and muddied waters of corporeal pleasure; thy
  very love; which usually elevates even the mean; a passion that
  calculates treason amidst the first glow of lust。  THOU one of
  us; thou a brother of the August Order; thou an Aspirant to the
  Stars that shine in the Shemaia of the Chaldean lore!  The eagle
  can raise but the eaglet to the sun。  I abandon thee to thy
  twilight!
  〃But; alas for thee; disobedient and profane! thou hast inhaled
  the elixir; thou hast attracted to thy presence a ghastly and
  remorseless foe。  Thou thyself must exorcise the phantom thou
  hast raised。  Thou must return to the world; but not without
  punishment and strong effort canst thou regain the calm and the
  joy of the life thou hast left behind。  This; for thy comfort;
  will I tell thee:  he who has drawn into his frame even so little
  of the volatile and vital energy of the aerial juices as thyself;
  has awakened faculties that cannot sleep;faculties that may
  yet; with patient humility; with sound faith; and the courage
  that is not of the body like thine; but of the resolute and
  virtuous mind; attain; if not to the knowledge that reigns above;
  to high achievement in the career of men。  Thou wilt find the
  restless influence in all that thou wouldst undertake。  Thy
  heart; amidst vulgar joys will aspire to something holier; thy
  ambition; amidst coarse excitement; to something beyond thy
  reach。  But deem not that this of itself will suffice for glory。
  Equally may the craving lead thee to shame and guilt。  It is but
  an imperfect and new…born energy which will not suffer thee to
  repose。  As thou directest it; must thou believe it to be the
  emanation of thine evil genius or thy good。
  〃But woe to thee! insect meshed in the web in which thou hast
  entangled limbs and wings!  Thou hast not only inhaled the
  elixir; thou hast conjured the spectre; of all the tribes of the
  space; no foe is so malignant to man;and thou hast lifted the
  veil from thy gaze。  I cannot restore to thee the happy dimness
  of thy vision。  Know; at least; that all of usthe highest and
  the wisestwho have; in sober truth; passed beyond the
  threshold; have had; as our first fearful task; to master and
  subdue its grisly and appalling guardian。  Know that thou CANST
  deliver thyself from those livid eyes;know that; while they
  haunt; they cannot harm; if thou resistest the thoughts to which
  they tempt; and the horror they engender。  DREAD THEM MOST WHEN
  THOU BEHOLDEST THEM NOT。  And thus; son of the worm; we part!
  All that I can tell thee to encourage; yet to warn and to guide;
  I have told thee in these lines。  Not from me; from thyself has
  come the gloomy trial from which I yet trust thou wilt emerge
  into peace。  Type of the knowledge that I serve; I withhold no
  lesson from the pure aspirant; I am a dark enigma to the general
  seeker。  As man's only indestructible possession is his memory;
  so it is not in mine art to crumble into matter the immaterial
  thoughts that have sprung up within thy breast。  The tyro might
  shatter this castle to the dust; and topple down the mountain to
  the plain。  The master has no power to say; 'Exist no more;' to
  one THOUGHT that his knowledge has inspired。  Thou mayst change
  the thoughts into new forms; thou mayst rarefy and sublimate it
  into a finer spirit;but thou canst not annihilate that which
  has no home but in the memory; no substance but the idea。  EVERY
  THOUGHT IS A SOUL!  Vainly; therefore; would I or thou undo the
  past; or restore to thee the gay blindness of thy youth。  Thou
  must endure the influence of the elixir thou hast inhaled; thou
  must wrestle with the spectre thou hast invoked!〃
  The letter fell from Glyndon's hand。  A sort of stupor succeeded
  to the various emotions which had chased each other in the
  perusal;a stupor resembling that which follows the sudden
  destruction of any ardent and long…nursed hope in the human
  heart; whether it be of love; of avarice; of ambition。  The
  loftier world for which he had so thirsted; sacrificed; and
  toiled; was closed upon him 〃forever;〃 and by his own faults of
  rashness and presumption。  But Glyndon's was not of that nature
  which submits long to condemn itself。  His indignation began to
  kindle against Mejnour; who owned he had tempted; and who now
  abandoned him;abandoned him to the presence of a spectre。  The
  mystic's reproaches stung rather than humbled him。  What crime
  had he committed to deserve language so harsh and disdainful?
  Was it so deep a debasement to feel pleasure in the smile and the
  eyes of Fillide?  Had not Zanoni himself confessed love for
  Viola; had he not fled with her as his companion?  Glyndon never
  paused to consider if there are no distinctions between one kind
  of love and another。  Where; too; was the great offence of
  yielding to a temptation which only existed for the brave?  Had
  not the mystic volume which Mejnour had purposely left open; bid
  him but 〃Beware of fear〃?  Was not; then; every wilful
  provocative held out to the strongest influences of the human
  mind; in the prohibition to enter the chamber; in the possession
  of the key which excited his curiosity; in the volume which
  seemed to dictate the mode by which the curiosity was to be
  gratified?  As rapidly these thoughts passed over him; he began
  to consider the whole conduct of Mejnour either as a perfidious
  design to entrap him to his own misery; or as the trick of an
  imposter; who knew that he could not realise the great
  professions he had made。  On glancing again over the more
  mysterious threats and warnings in Mejnour's letter; they seemed
  to assume the language of mere parable and allegory;the jargon
  of the Platonists and Pythagoreans。  By little and little; he
  began to consider that the very spectra he had seeneven that
  one phantom so horrid in its aspectwere but the delusions which
  Mejnour's science had enable him to raise。  The healthful
  sunlight; filling up every cranny in his chamber; seemed to laugh
  away the terrors of the past night。  His pride and his resentment
  nerved his habitual courage; and when; having hastily dressed
  himself; he rejoined Paolo; it was with a flushed cheek and a
  haughty step。
  〃So; Paolo;〃 said he; 〃the Padrone; as you call him; told you to
  expect and welcome me at your village feast?〃
  〃He did so by a message from a wretched old cripple。  This
  surprised me at the time; for I thought he was far distant; but
  these great philosophers make a joke of two or three hundred
  leagues。〃
  〃Why did you not tell me you had heard from Mejnour?〃
  〃Because the old cripple forbade me。〃
  〃Did you not see the man afterwards during the dance?〃
  〃No; Excellency。〃
  〃Humph!〃
  〃Allow me to serve you;〃 said Paolo; piling Glyndon's plate; and
  then filling his glass。  〃I wish; signor; now the Padrone is
  gone;not;〃 added Paolo; as he cast rather a frightened and
  suspicious glance round the room; 〃that I mean to say anything
  disrespectful of him;I wish; I say; now that he is gone; that
  you would take pity on yourself; and ask your own heart what your
  youth was meant for?  Not to bury yourself alive in these old
  ruins; and endanger body and soul by studies which I am sure no
  saint could approve of。〃
  〃Are the saints so partial; then; to your own occupations; Master
  Paolo?〃
  〃Why;〃 answered the bandit; a little confus