第 64 节
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这就是结局 更新:2021-02-20 15:58 字数:9322
in which I pierced the Arcana of our knowledge; have I ever
sought to make its mysteries subservient to unworthy objects;
though; alas! the extension of our existence robs us of a country
and a home; though the law that places all science; as all art;
in the abstraction from the noisy passions and turbulent ambition
of actual life; forbids us to influence the destinies of nations;
for which Heaven selects ruder and blinder agencies; yet;
wherever have been my wanderings; I have sought to soften
distress; and to convert from sin。 My power has been hostile
only to the guilty; and yet with all our lore; how in each step
we are reduced to be but the permitted instruments of the Power
that vouchsafes our own; but only to direct it。 How all our
wisdom shrinks into nought; compared with that which gives the
meanest herb its virtues; and peoples the smallest globule with
its appropriate world。 And while we are allowed at times to
influence the happiness of others; how mysteriously the shadows
thicken round our own future doom! We cannot be prophets to
ourselves! With what trembling hope I nurse the thought that I
may preserve to my solitude the light of a living smile!
。。。
Extracts from Letter II。
Deeming myself not pure enough to initiate so pure a heart; I
invoke to her trance those fairest and most tender inhabitants of
space that have furnished to poetry; which is the instinctive
guess into creation; the ideas of the Glendoveer and Sylph。 And
these were less pure than her own thoughts; and less tender than
her own love! They could not raise her above her human heart;
for THAT has a heaven of its own。
。。。
I have just looked on her in sleep;I have heard her breathe my
name。 Alas! that which is so sweet to others has its bitterness
to me; for I think how soon the time may come when that sleep
will be without a dream;when the heart that dictates the name
will be cold; and the lips that utter it be dumb。 What a twofold
shape there is in love! If we examine it coarsely;if we look
but on its fleshy ties; its enjoyments of a moment; its turbulent
fever and its dull reaction;how strange it seems that this
passion should be the supreme mover of the world; that it is this
which has dictated the greatest sacrifices; and influenced all
societies and all times; that to this the loftiest and loveliest
genius has ever consecrated its devotion; that; but for love;
there were no civilisation; no music; no poetry; no beauty; no
life beyond the brute's。
But examine it in its heavenlier shape;in its utter abnegation
of self; in its intimate connection with all that is most
delicate and subtle in the spirit;its power above all that is
sordid in existence; its mastery over the idols of the baser
worship; its ability to create a palace of the cottage; an oasis
in the desert; a summer in the Iceland;where it breathes; and
fertilises; and glows; and the wonder rather becomes how so few
regard it in its holiest nature。 What the sensual call its
enjoyments; are the least of its joys。 True love is less a
passion than a symbol。 Mejnour; shall the time come when I can
speak to thee of Viola as a thing that was?
。。。
Extract from Letter III。
Knowest thou that of late I have sometimes asked myself; 〃Is
there no guilt in the knowledge that has so divided us from our
race?〃 It is true that the higher we ascend the more hateful
seem to us the vices of the short…lived creepers of the earth;
the more the sense of the goodness of the All…good penetrates and
suffuses us; and the more immediately does our happiness seem to
emanate from him。 But; on the other hand; how many virtues must
lie dead in those who live in the world of death; and refuse to
die! Is not this sublime egotism; this state of abstraction and
reverie;this self…wrapped and self…dependent majesty of
existence; a resignation of that nobility which incorporates our
own welfare; our joys; our hopes; our fears with others? To live
on in no dread of foes; undegraded by infirmity; secure through
the cares; and free from the disease of flesh; is a spectacle
that captivates our pride。 And yet dost thou not more admire him
who dies for another? Since I have loved her; Mejnour; it seems
almost cowardice to elude the grave which devours the hearts that
wrap us in their folds。 I feel it;the earth grows upon my
spirit。 Thou wert right; eternal age; serene and passionless; is
a happier boon than eternal youth; with its yearnings and
desires。 Until we can be all spirit; the tranquillity of
solitude must be indifference。
。。。
Extracts from Letter IV。
I have received thy communication。 What! is it so? Has thy
pupil disappointed thee? Alas; poor pupil! But
。。。
(Here follow comments on those passages in Glyndon's life already
known to the reader; or about to be made so; with earnest
adjurations to Mejnour to watch yet over the fate of his
scholar。)
。。。
But I cherish the same desire; with a warmer heart。 My pupil!
how the terrors that shall encompass thine ordeal warn me from
the task! Once more I will seek the Son of Light。
。。。
Yes; Adon…Ai; long deaf to my call; at last has descended to my
vision; and left behind him the glory of his presence in the
shape of Hope。 Oh; not impossible; Viola;not impossible; that
we yet may be united; soul with soul!
Extract from Letter V。(Many months after the last。)
Mejnour; awake from thine apathy;rejoice! A new soul will be
born to the world;a new soul that shall call me father。 Ah; if
they for whom exist all the occupations and resources of human
life;if they can thrill with exquisite emotion at the thought
of hailing again their own childhood in the faces of their
children; if in that birth they are born once more into the holy
Innocence which is the first state of existence; if they can feel
that on man devolves almost an angel's duty; when he has a life
to guide from the cradle; and a soul to nurture for the heaven;
what to me must be the rapture to welcome an inheritor of all the
gifts which double themselves in being shared! How sweet the
power to watch; and to guard;to instil the knowledge; to avert
the evil; and to guide back the river of life in a richer and
broader and deeper stream to the paradise from which it flows!
And beside that river our souls shall meet; sweet mother。 Our
child shall supply the sympathy that fails as yet; and what shape
shall haunt thee; what terror shall dismay; when thy initiation
is beside the cradle of thy child!
CHAPTER 4。XI。
They thus beguile the way
Untill the blustring storme is overblowne;
When weening to returne whence they did stray;
They cannot finde that path which first was showne;
But wander to and fro in waies unknowne。
Spenser's 〃Faerie Queene;〃 book i。 canto i。 st。 x。
Yes; Viola; thou art another being than when; by the threshold of
thy Italian home; thou didst follow thy dim fancies through the
Land of Shadow; or when thou didst vainly seek to give voice to
an ideal beauty; on the boards where illusion counterfeits earth
and heaven for an hour; till the weary sense; awaking; sees but
the tinsel and the scene…shifter。 Thy spirit reposes in its own
happiness。 Its wanderings have found a goal。 In a moment there
often dwells the sense of eternity; for when profoundly happy; we
know that it is impossible to die。 Whenever the soul FEELS
ITSELF; it feels everlasting life。
The initiation is deferred;thy days and nights are left to no
other visions than those with which a contented heart enchants a
guileless fancy。 Glendoveers and Sylphs; pardon me if I question
whether those visions are not lovelier than yourselves。
They stand by the beach; and see the sun sinking into the sea。
How long now have they dwelt on that island? What matters!it
may be months; or yearswhat matters! Why should I; or they;
keep account of that happy time? As in the dream of a moment
ages may seem to pass; so shall we measure transport or woe;by
the length of the dream; or the number of emotions that the dream
involves?
The sun sinks slowly down; the air is arid and oppressive; on the
sea; the stately vessel lies motionless; on the shore; no leaf
trembles on the trees。
Viola drew nearer to Zanoni。 A presentiment she could not define
made her heart beat more quickly; and; looking into his face; she
was struck with its expression: it was anxious; abstracted;
perturbed。 〃This stillness awes me;〃 she whispered。
Zanoni did not seem to hear her。 He muttered to himself; and his
eyes gazed round restlessly。 She knew not why; but that gaze;
which seemed to pierce into space;that muttered voice in some
foreign languagerevived dimly her earlier superstitions。 She
was more fearful since the hour when she knew that she was to be
a mother。 Strange crisis in the life of woman; an