第 36 节
作者:
冬冬 更新:2021-02-20 15:54 字数:9322
other leaders of the strike were to be engaged in conferences during the
forenoon; for I wanted to be alone; to try to get a few things straightened
out in my mind。
But I soon found that a city is a poor place for reflection or
contemplation。 It bombards one with an infinite variety of new
impressions and new adventures; and I could not escape the impression
made by crowded houses; and ill…smelling streets; and dirty sidewalks; and
swarming human beings。 For a time the burden of these things rested upon
my breast like a leaden weight; they all seemed so utterly wrong to me; so
unnecessary; so unjust! I sometimes think of religion as only a high sense
of good order; and it seemed to me that morning as though the very
existence of this disorderly mill district was a challenge to religion; and an
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offence to the Orderer of an Orderly Universe。 I don't now how such
conditions may affect other people; but for a time I felt a sharp sense of
impatienceyes; angerwith it all。 I had an impulse to take off my coat
then and there and go at the job of setting things to rights。 Oh; I never was
more serious in my life: I was quite prepared to change the entire scheme
of things to my way of thinking whether the people who lived there liked
it or not。 It seemed to me for a few glorious moments that I had only to tell
them of the wonders in our country; the pleasant; quiet roads; the
comfortable farmhouses; the fertile fields; and the wooded hillsand; poof!
all this crowded poverty would dissolve and disappear; and they would all
come to the country and be as happy as I was。
I remember how; once in my life; I wasted untold energy trying to
make over my dearest friends。 There was Harriet; for example dear;
serious; practical Harriet。 I used to be fretted by the way she was forever
trying to clip my wing feathersI suppose to keep me close to the quiet
and friendly and unadventurous roost! We come by such a long; long road;
sometimes; to the acceptance of our nearest friends for exactly what they
are。 Because we are so fond of them we try to make them over to suit
some curious ideal of perfection of our ownuntil one day we suddenly
laugh aloud at our own absurdity (knowing that they are probably trying as
hard to reconstruct us as we are to reconstruct them) and thereafter we try
no more to change them; we just love 'em and enjoy 'em!
Some such psychological process went on in my consciousness that
morning。 As I walked briskly through the streets I began to look out more
broadly around me。 It was really a perfect spring morning; the air crisp;
fresh; and sunny; and the streets full of life and activity。 I looked into the
faces of the people I met; and it began to strike me that most of them
seemed oblivious of the fact that they should; by good rights; be looking
downcast and dispirited。 They had cheered their approval the night before
when the speakers had told them how miserable they were (even
acknowledging that they were slaves); and yet here they were this morning
looking positively good…humoured; cheerful; some of them even gay。 I
warrant if I had stepped up to one of them that morning and intimated that
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he was a slave he would havewell; I should have had serious trouble with
him! There was a degree of sociability in those back streets; a visiting
from window to window; gossipy gatherings in front area…ways; a sort of
pavement domesticity; that I had never seen before。 Being a lover myself
of such friendly intercourse I could actually feel the hum and warmth of
that neighbourhood。
A group of brightly clad girl strikers gathered on a corner were
chatting and laughing; and children in plenty ran and shouted at their play
in the street。 I saw a group of them dancing merrily around an Italian
hand…organ man who was filling the air with jolly music。 I recall what a
sinking sensation I had at the pit of my reformer's stomach when it
suddenly occurred to me that these people some of them; anyway; might
actually LIKE this crowded; sociable neighbourhood! 〃They might even
HATE the country;〃 I exclaimed。
It is surely one of the fundamental humours of life to see absurdly
serious little human beings (like D。 G。 for example) trying to stand in the
place of the Almighty。 We are so confoundedly infallible in our judgments;
so sure of what is good for our neighbour; so eager to force upon him our
particular doctors or our particular remedies; we are so willing to put our
childish fingers into the machinery of creationand we howl so lustily
when we get them pinched!
〃Why!〃 I exclaimed; for it came to me like a new discovery; 〃it's
exactly the same here as it is in the country! I haven't got to make over the
universe: I've only got to do my own small job; and to look up often at the
trees and the hills and the sky and be friendly with all men。〃
I cannot express the sense of comfort; and of trust; which this
reflection brought me。 I recall stopping just then at the corner of a small
green city square; for I had now reached the better part of the city; and of
seeing with keen pleasure the green of the grass and the bright colour of a
bed of flowers; and two or three clean nursemaids with clean baby cabs;
and a flock of pigeons pluming themselves near a stone fountain; and an
old tired horse sleeping in the sun with his nose buried in a feed bag。
〃Why;〃 I said; 〃all this; too; is beautiful!〃 So I continued my walk with
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quite a new feeling in my heart; prepared again for any adventure life
might have to offer me。
I supposed I knew no living soul in Kilburn but Bill the Socialist。
What was my astonishment and pleasure; then in one of the business
streets to discover a familiar face and figure。 A man was just stepping from
an automobile to the sidewalk。 For an instant; in that unusual environment;
I could not place him; then I stepped up quickly and said:
〃Well; well; Friend Vedder。〃
He looked around with astonishment at the man in the shabby clothes
but it was only for an instant。
〃David Grayson!〃 he exclaimed; 〃and how did YOU get into the city?〃
〃Walked;〃 I said。
〃But I thought you were an incurable and irreproachable countryman!
Why are you here?〃
〃Love o' life;〃 I said; 〃love o' life。〃
〃Where are you stopping?〃 I waved my hand。
〃Where the road leaves me;〃 I said。 〃Last night I left my bag with
some good friends I made in front of a livery stable and I spent the night in
the mill district with a Socialist named Bill Hahn。〃
〃Bill Hahn!〃 The effect upon Mr。 Vedder was magical。
〃Why; yes;〃 I said; 〃and a remarkable man he is; too。〃
I discovered immediately that my friend was quite as much interested
in the strike as Bill Hahn; but on the other side。 He was; indeed; one of the
directors of the greatest mill in Kilburnthe very one which I had seen the
night before surrounded by armed sentinels。 It was thrilling to me; this
knowledge; for it seemed to plump me down at once in the middle of
thingsand soon; indeed; brought me nearer to the brink of great events
than ever I was before in all my days。
I could see that Mr。 Vedder considered Bill Hahn as a sort of devouring
monster; a wholly incendiary and dangerous person。 So terrible; indeed;
was the warning he gave me (considering me; I suppose an
unsophisticated person) that I couldn't help laughing outright。
〃I assure you〃 he began; apparently much offended。
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But I interrupted him。
〃I'm sorry I laughed;〃 I said; 〃but as you were talking about Bill Hahn;
I couldn't help thinking of him as I first saw him。〃 And I