第 17 节
作者:
雨来不躲 更新:2021-02-20 15:53 字数:4696
length in the foregoing pages。 The dream was this:
I saw that I was lying on a bed。 I was neither comfortable
nor uncomfortable: I was lying on my back。 But I began to consider
how; and on what; I was lying a question which had not till then
occurred to me。 And observing my bed; I saw I was lying on plaited
string supports attached to its sides: my feet were resting on one
such support; by calves on another; and my legs felt uncomfortable。
I seemed to know that those supports were movable; and with a
movement of my foot I pushed away the furthest of them at my feet …
… it seemed to me that it would be more comfortable so。 But I
pushed it away too far and wished to reach it again with my foot;
and that movement caused the next support under my calves to slip
away also; so that my legs hung in the air。 I made a movement with
my whole body to adjust myself; fully convinced that I could do so
at once; but the movement caused the other supports under me to
slip and to become entangled; and I saw that matters were going
quite wrong: the whole of the lower part of my body slipped and
hung down; though my feet did not reach the ground。 I was holding
on only by the upper part of my back; and not only did it become
uncomfortable but I was even frightened。 And then only did I ask
myself about something that had not before occurred to me。 I asked
myself: Where am I and what am I lying on? and I began to look
around and first of all to look down in the direction which my body
was hanging and whiter I felt I must soon fall。 I looked down and
did not believe my eyes。 I was not only at a height comparable to
the height of the highest towers or mountains; but at a height such
as I could never have imagined。
I could not even make out whether I saw anything there below;
in that bottomless abyss over which I was hanging and whiter I was
being drawn。 My heart contracted; and I experienced horror。 To
look thither was terrible。 If I looked thither I felt that I
should at once slip from the last support and perish。 And I did
not look。 But not to look was still worse; for I thought of what
would happen to me directly I fell from the last support。 And I
felt that from fear I was losing my last supports; and that my back
was slowly slipping lower and lower。 Another moment and I should
drop off。 And then it occurred to me that this cannot e real。 It
is a dream。 Wake up! I try to arouse myself but cannot do so。
What am I to do? What am I to do? I ask myself; and look upwards。
Above; there is also an infinite space。 I look into the immensity
of sky and try to forget about the immensity below; and I really do
forget it。 The immensity below repels and frightens me; the
immensity above attracts and strengthens me。 I am still supported
above the abyss by the last supports that have not yet slipped from
under me; I know that I am hanging; but I look only upwards and my
fear passes。 As happens in dreams; a voice says: 〃Notice this;
this is it!〃 And I look more and more into the infinite above me
and feel that I am becoming calm。 I remember all that has
happened; and remember how it all happened; how I moved my legs;
how I hung down; how frightened I was; and how I was saved from
fear by looking upwards。 And I ask myself: Well; and now am I not
hanging just the same? And I do not so much look round as
experience with my whole body the point of support on which I am
held。 I see that I no longer hang as if about to fall; but am
firmly held。 I ask myself how I am held: I feel about; look round;
and see that under me; under the middle of my body; there is one
support; and that when I look upwards I lie on it in the position
of securest balance; and that it alone gave me support before。 And
then; as happens in dreams; I imagined the mechanism by means of
which I was held; a very natural intelligible; and sure means;
though to one awake that mechanism has no sense。 I was even
surprised in my dream that I had not understood it sooner。 It
appeared that at my head there was a pillar; and the security of
that slender pillar was undoubted though there was nothing to
support it。 From the pillar a loop hung very ingeniously and yet
simply; and if one lay with the middle of one's body in that loop
and looked up; there could be no question of falling。 This was all
clear to me; and I was glad and tranquil。 And it seemed as if
someone said to me: 〃See that you remember。〃
And I awoke。
End