第 16 节
作者:悟来悟去      更新:2021-02-20 15:46      字数:9318
  the feshionable inthroduction to her leddyship。
  〃Is it there ye are?〃 said I thin to mesilf; 〃and it's thrue for you;
  Pathrick; that ye're the fortunittest mortal in life。 We'll soon see now
  whither it's your swate silf; or whither it's little Mounseer
  Maiter…di…dauns; that Misthress Tracle is head and ears in the love wid。〃
  Wid that we wint aff to the widdy's; next door; and ye may well say it was
  an illigant place; so it was。 There was a carpet all over the floor; and
  in one corner there was a forty…pinny and a Jew's harp and the divil knows
  what ilse; and in another corner was a sofy; the beautifullest thing in
  all natur; and sitting on the sofy; sure enough; there was the swate
  little angel; Misthress Tracle。
  〃The tip o' the mornin' to ye;〃 says I; 〃Mrs。 Tracle;〃 and thin I made
  sich an illigant obaysance that it wud ha quite althegither bewildered the
  brain o' ye。
  〃Wully woo; pully woo; plump in the mud;〃 says the little furrenner
  Frinchman; 〃and sure Mrs。 Tracle;〃 says he; that he did; 〃isn't this
  gintleman here jist his reverence Sir Pathrick O'Grandison; Barronitt; and
  isn't he althegither and entirely the most particular frind and
  acquaintance that I have in the houl world?〃
  And wid that the widdy; she gits up from the sofy; and makes the swatest
  curthchy nor iver was seen; and thin down she sits like an angel; and
  thin; by the powers; it was that little spalpeen Mounseer Maiter…di…dauns
  that plumped his silf right down by the right side of her。 Och hon! I
  ixpicted the two eyes o' me wud ha cum'd out of my head on the spot; I was
  so dispirate mad! Howiver; 〃Bait who!〃 says I; after awhile。 〃Is it there
  ye are; Mounseer Maiter…di…dauns?〃 and so down I plumped on the lift side
  of her leddyship; to be aven with the willain。 Botheration! it wud ha done
  your heart good to percave the illigant double wink that I gived her jist
  thin right in the face with both eyes。
  But the little ould Frinchman he niver beginned to suspict me at all at
  all; and disperate hard it was he made the love to her leddyship。 〃Woully
  wou;〃 says he; Pully wou;〃 says he; 〃Plump in the mud;〃 says he。
  〃That's all to no use; Mounseer Frog; mavourneen;〃 thinks I; and I talked
  as hard and as fast as I could all the while; and throth it was mesilf
  jist that divarted her leddyship complately and intirely; by rason of the
  illigant conversation that I kipt up wid her all about the dear bogs of
  Connaught。 And by and by she gived me such a swate smile; from one ind of
  her mouth to the ither; that it made me as bould as a pig; and I jist took
  hould of the ind of her little finger in the most dillikitest manner in
  natur; looking at her all the while out o' the whites of my eyes。
  And then ounly percave the cuteness of the swate angel; for no sooner did
  she obsarve that I was afther the squazing of her flipper; than she up wid
  it in a jiffy; and put it away behind her back; jist as much as to say;
  〃Now thin; Sir Pathrick O'Grandison; there's a bitther chance for ye;
  mavourneen; for it's not altogether the gentaal thing to be afther the
  squazing of my flipper right full in the sight of that little furrenner
  Frinchman; Mounseer Maiter…di…dauns。〃
  Wid that I giv'd her a big wink jist to say; 〃lit Sir Pathrick alone for
  the likes o' them thricks;〃 and thin I wint aisy to work; and you'd have
  died wid the divarsion to behould how cliverly I slipped my right arm
  betwane the back o' the sofy; and the back of her leddyship; and there;
  sure enough; I found a swate little flipper all a waiting to say; 〃the tip
  o' the mornin' to ye; Sir Pathrick O'Grandison; Barronitt。〃 And wasn't it
  mesilf; sure; that jist giv'd it the laste little bit of a squaze in the
  world; all in the way of a commincement; and not to be too rough wid her
  leddyship? and och; botheration; wasn't it the gentaalest and dilikittest
  of all the little squazes that I got in return? 〃Blood and thunder; Sir
  Pathrick; mavourneen;〃 thinks I to mesilf; 〃fait it's jist the mother's
  son of you; and nobody else at all at all; that's the handsomest and the
  fortunittest young bog…throtter that ever cum'd out of Connaught!〃 And
  with that I givd the flipper a big squaze; and a big squaze it was; by the
  powers; that her leddyship giv'd to me back。 But it would ha split the
  seven sides of you wid the laffin' to behould; jist then all at once; the
  consated behavior of Mounseer Maiter…di…dauns。 The likes o' sich a
  jabbering; and a smirking; and a parley…wouing as he begin'd wid her
  leddyship; niver was known before upon arth; and divil may burn me if it
  wasn't me own very two peepers that cotch'd him tipping her the wink out
  of one eye。 Och; hon! if it wasn't mesilf thin that was mad as a Kilkenny
  cat I shud like to be tould who it was!
  〃Let me infarm you; Mounseer Maiter…di…dauns;〃 said I; as purlite as iver
  ye seed; 〃that it's not the gintaal thing at all at all; and not for the
  likes o' you inny how; to be afther the oggling and a goggling at her
  leddyship in that fashion;〃 and jist wid that such another squaze as it
  was I giv'd her flipper; all as much as to say; 〃isn't it Sir Pathrick
  now; my jewel; that'll be able to the proticting o' you; my darlint?〃 and
  then there cum'd another squaze back; all by way of the answer。 〃Thrue for
  you; Sir Pathrick;〃 it said as plain as iver a squaze said in the world;
  〃Thrue for you; Sir Pathrick; mavourneen; and it's a proper nate gintleman
  ye are  that's God's truth;〃 and with that she opened her two beautiful
  peepers till I belaved they wud ha' cum'd out of her hid althegither and
  intirely; and she looked first as mad as a cat at Mounseer Frog; and thin
  as smiling as all out o' doors at mesilf。
  〃Thin;〃 says he; the willian; 〃Och hon! and a wolly…wou; pully…wou;〃 and
  then wid that he shoved up his two shoulders till the divil the bit of his
  hid was to be diskivered; and then he let down the two corners of his
  purraty…trap; and thin not a haporth more of the satisfaction could I git
  out o' the spalpeen。
  Belave me; my jewel; it was Sir Pathrick that was unreasonable mad thin;
  and the more by token that the Frinchman kipt an wid his winking at the
  widdy; and the widdy she kept an wid the squazing of my flipper; as much
  as to say; 〃At him again; Sir Pathrick O'Grandison; mavourneen:〃 so I just
  ripped out wid a big oath; and says I;
  〃Ye little spalpeeny frog of a bog…throtting son of a bloody noun!〃  and
  jist thin what d'ye think it was that her leddyship did? Troth she jumped
  up from the sofy as if she was bit; and made off through the door; while I
  turned my head round afther her; in a complate bewilderment and
  botheration; and followed her wid me two peepers。 You percave I had a
  reason of my own for knowing that she couldn't git down the stares
  althegither and intirely; for I knew very well that I had hould of her
  hand; for the divil the bit had I iver lit it go。 And says I; 〃Isn't it
  the laste little bit of a mistake in the world that ye've been afther the
  making; yer leddyship? Come back now; that's a darlint; and I'll give ye
  yur flipper。〃 But aff she wint down the stairs like a shot; and thin I
  turned round to the little Frinch furrenner。 Och hon! if it wasn't his
  spalpeeny little paw that I had hould of in my own  why thin  thin it
  wasn't  that's all。
  And maybe it wasn't mesilf that jist died then outright wid the laffin';
  to behold the little chap when he found out that it wasn't the widdy at
  all at all that he had had hould of all the time; but only Sir Pathrick
  O'Grandison。 The ould divil himself niver behild sich a long face as he
  pet an! As for Sir Pathrick O'Grandison; Barronitt; it wasn't for the
  likes of his riverence to be afther the minding of a thrifle of a mistake。
  Ye may jist say; though (for it's God's thruth); that afore I left hould
  of the flipper of the spalpeen (which was not till afther her leddyship's
  futman had kicked us both down the stairs; I giv'd it such a nate little
  broth of a squaze as made it all up into raspberry jam。
  〃Woully wou;〃 says he; 〃pully wou;〃 says he  〃Cot tam!〃
  And that's jist the thruth of the rason why he wears his lift hand in a
  sling。
  ~~~ End of Text ~~~
  BON…BON。
  _         Quand un bon vin meuble mon estomac;
  Je suis plus savant que Balzac …
  Plus sage que Pibrac ;
  Mon brass seul faisant l'attaque
  De la nation Coseaque;
  La mettroit au sac ;
  De Charon je passerois le lac;
  En dormant dans son bac ;
  J'irois au fier Eac;
  Sans que mon c渦r fit tic ni tac;
  Pr閟enter du tabac。
  French Vaudeville_
  THAT Pierre Bon…Bon was a _restaurateur_ of uncommon qualifications;
  no man who; during the reign of …; frequented the little C鈌?in the
  cul…de…sac Le Febvre at Rouen; will; I imagine; feel himself at liberty to
  dispute。 That Pierre Bon…Bon was; in an equal degree; skilled in the
  philosophy of that period is; I presume; still more especially undeniable。
  His _pat閟 ?la fois_ were beyond doubt immaculate; but what pen can do
  justice to his essays _sur la Nature_ … his thoughts sur _l'Ame_ … his
  observations _sur l'Esprit ?_ If his _omelettes_ … if his _fricandeaux_