第 105 节
作者:
套牢 更新:2021-02-20 15:34 字数:9321
drill yet; and a good many of the officers too not out of the
awkward squad。 I am sure I; for a private; am not。 In the drill a
man has to conquer himself; and move with the rest by individual
attention to his own duty: to what mighty battlefields the recruit
may yet be led; he does not know。 Meantime he has nearly enough to
do with his goose…step; while there is plenty of single combat;
skirmish; and light cavalry work generally; to get him ready for
whatever is to follow。 I beg your pardon: I am preaching。'
'Eloquently;' I answered。
Of some of the places into which Falconer led me that night I will
attempt no descriptionplaces blazing with lights and mirrors;
crowded with dancers; billowing with music; close and hot; and full
of the saddest of all sights; the uninteresting faces of commonplace
women。
'There is a passion;' I said; as we came out of one of these
dreadful places; 'that lingers about the heart like the odour of
violets; like a glimmering twilight on the borders of moonrise; and
there is a passion that wraps itself in the vapours of patchouli and
coffins; and streams from the eyes like gaslight from a tavern。 And
yet the line is ill to draw between them。 It is very dreadful。
These are women。'
'They are in God's hands;' answered Falconer。 'He hasn't done with
them yet。 Shall it take less time to make a woman than to make a
world? Is not the woman the greater? She may have her ages of
chaos; her centuries of crawling slime; yet rise a woman at last。'
'How much alike all those women were!'
'A family likeness; alas! which always strikes you first。'
'Some of them looked quite modest。'
'There are great differences。 I do not know anything more touching
than to see how a woman will sometimes wrap around her the last
remnants of a soiled and ragged modesty。 It has moved me almost to
tears to see such a one hanging her head in shame during the singing
of a detestable song。 That poor thing's shame was precious in the
eyes of the Master; surely。'
'Could nothing be done for her?'
'I contrived to let her know where she would find a friend if she
wanted to be good: that is all you can do in such cases。 If the
horrors of their life do not drive them out at such an open door;
you can do nothing else; I fearfor the time。'
'Where are you going now; may I ask?'
'Into the cityon business;' he added with a smile。
'There will be nobody there so late。'
'Nobody! One would think you were the beadle of a city church; Mr。
Gordon。'
We came into a very narrow; dirty street。 I do not know where it
is。 A slatternly woman advanced from an open door; and said;
'Mr。 Falconer。'
He looked at her for a moment。
'Why; Sarah; have you come to this already?' he said。
'Never mind me; sir。 It's no more than you told me to expect。 You
knowed him better than I did。 Leastways I'm an honest woman。'
'Stick to that; Sarah; and be good…tempered。'
'I'll have a try anyhow; sir。 But there's a poor cretur a dyin'
up…stairs; and I'm afeard it'll go hard with her; for she throwed a
Bible out o' window this very morning; sir。'
'Would she like to see me? I'm afraid not。'
'She's got Lilywhite; what's a sort of a reader; readin' that same
Bible to her now。'
'There can be no great harm in just looking in;' he said; turning to
me。
'I shall be happy to follow youanywhere;' I returned。
'She's awful ill; sir; cholerer or summat;' said Sarah; as she led
the way up the creaking stair。
We half entered the room softly。 Two or three women sat by the
chimney; and another by a low bed; covered with a torn patchwork
counterpane; spelling out a chapter in the Bible。 We paused for a
moment to hear what she was reading。 Had the book been opened by
chance; or by design? It was the story of David and Bathsheba。
Moans came from the bed; but the candle in a bottle; by which the
woman was reading; was so placed that we could not see the sufferer。
We stood still and did not interrupt the reading。
'Ha! ha! ha!' laughed a coarse voice from the side of the chimney:
'the saint; you see; was no better than some of the rest of us!'
'I think he was a good deal worse just then;' said Falconer;
stepping forward。
'Gracious! there's Mr。 Falconer;' said another woman; rising; and
speaking in a flattering tone。
'Then;' remarked the former speaker; 'there's a chance for old Moll
and me yet。 King David was a saint; wasn't he? Ha! ha!'
'Yes; and you might be one too; if you were as sorry for your faults
as he was for his。'
'Sorry; indeed! I'll be damned if I be sorry。 What have I to be
sorry for? Where's the harm in turning an honest penny? I ha' took
no man's wife; nor murdered himself neither。 There's yer saints!
He was a rum 'un。 Ha! ha!'
Falconer approached her; bent down and whispered something no one
could hear but herself。 She gave a smothered cry; and was silent。
'Give me the book;' he said; turning towards the bed。 'I'll read you
something better than that。 I'll read about some one that never did
anything wrong。'
'I don't believe there never was no sich a man;' said the previous
reader; as she handed him the book; grudgingly。
'Not Jesus Christ himself?' said Falconer。
'Oh! I didn't know as you meant him。'
'Of course I meant him。 There never was another。'
'I have heard tellp'raps it was yourself; siras how he didn't
come down upon us over hard after all; bless him!'
Falconer sat down on the side of the bed; and read the story of
Simon the Pharisee and the woman that was a sinner。 When he ceased;
the silence that followed was broken by a sob from somewhere in the
room。 The sick woman stopped her moaning; and said;
'Turn down the leaf there; please; sir。 Lilywhite will read it to
me when you're gone。'
The some one sobbed again。 It was a young slender girl; with a face
disfigured by the small…pox; and; save for the tearful look it wore;
poor and expressionless。 Falconer said something gentle to her。
'Will he ever come again?' she sobbed。
'Who?' asked Falconer。
'HimJesus Christ。 I've heard tell; I think; that he was to come
again some day。'
'Why do you ask?'
'Because' she said; with a fresh burst of tears; which rendered
the words that followed unintelligible。 But she recovered herself
in a few moments; and; as if finishing her sentence; put her hand up
to her poor; thin; colourless hair; and said;
'My hair ain't long enough to wipe his feet。'
'Do you know what he would say to you; my girl?' Falconer asked。
'No。 What would he say to me? He would speak to me; would he?'
'He would say: Thy sins are forgiven thee。'
'Would he; though? Would he?' she cried; starting up。 'Take me to
himtake me to him。 Oh! I forgot。 He's dead。 But he will come
again; won't he? He was crucified four times; you know; and he must
ha' come four times for that。 Would they crucify him again; sir?'
'No; they wouldn't crucify him nowin England at least。 They would
only laugh at him; shake their heads at what he told them; as much
as to say it wasn't true; and sneer and mock at him in some of the
newspapers。'
'Oh dear! I've been very wicked。'
'But you won't be so any more。'
'No; no; no。 I won't; I won't; I won't。'
She talked hurriedly; almost wildly。 The coarse old woman tapped
her forehead with her finger。 Falconer took the girl's hand。
'What is your name?' he said。
'Nell。'
'What more?'
'Nothing more。'
'Well; Nelly;' said Falconer。
'How kind of you to call me Nelly!' interrupted the poor girl。 'They
always calls me Nell; just。'
'Nelly;' repeated Falconer; 'I will send a lady here to…morrow to
take you away with her; if you like; and tell you how you must do to
find Jesus。People always find him that want to find him。'
The elderly woman with the rough voice; who had not spoken since he
whispered to her; now interposed with a kind of cowed fierceness。
'Don't go putting humbug into my child's head now; Mr。
Falconer'ticing her away from her home。 Everybody knows my Nell's
been an idiot since ever she was born。 Poor child!'
'I ain't your child;' cried the girl; passionately。 'I ain't
nobody's child。'
'You are God's child;' said Falconer; who stood looking on with his
eyes shining; but otherwise in a state of absolute composure。
'Am I? Am I? You won't forget to send for me; sir?'
'That I won't;' he answered。
She turned instantly towards the woman; and snapped her fingers in
her face。
'I don't care that for you;' she cried。 'You dare to touch me now;
and I'll bite you。'
'Come; come; Nelly; you mustn't be rude;' said Falconer。
'No; sir; I won't no more; leastways to nobody but she。 It's she
makes me do all the wicked things; it