第 100 节
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套牢 更新:2021-02-20 15:34 字数:9322
gave himself to her service as to that of a living soul capable of
justice and love。 The night was more than warm; but she had fits of
shivering。 He wrapped his coat round her; and wiped from the poor
degraded face the damps of suffering。 The woman…heart was alive
still; for she took the hand that ministered to her and kissed it
with a moan。 When the morning came she fell asleep。 He crept out
and went to his grandmother's; where he roused Betty; and asked her
to get him some peat and coals。 Finding his grandmother awake; he
told her all; and taking the coals and the peat; carried them to the
hut; where he managed; with some difficulty; to light a fire on the
hearth; after which he sat on the doorstep till Betty appeared with
two men carrying a mattress and some bedding。 The noise they made
awoke her。
'Dinna tak me;' she cried。 'I winna do 't again; an' I'm deein'; I
tell ye I'm deein'; and that'll clear a' scoreso' this side ony
gait;' she added。
They lifted her upon the mattress; and made her more comfortable
than perhaps she had ever been in her life。 But it was only her
illness that made her capable of prizing such comfort。 In health;
the heather on a hill…side was far more to her taste than bed and
blankets。 She had a wild; roving; savage nature; and the wind was
dearer to her than house…walls。 She had come of ancestorsand it
was a poor little atom of truth that a soul bred like this woman
could have been born capable of entertaining。 But she too was
eternaland surely not to be fixed for ever in a bewilderment of
sin and ignorancea wild…eyed soul staring about in hell…fire for
want of something it could not understand and had never beheldby
the changeless mandate of the God of love! She was in less pain
than during the night; and lay quietly gazing at the fire。 Things
awful to another would no doubt cross her memory without any
accompanying sense of dismay; tender things would return without
moving her heart; but Falconer had a hold of her now。 Nothing could
be done for her body except to render its death as easy as might be;
but something might be done for herself。 He made no attempt to
produce this or that condition of mind in the poor creature。 He
never made such attempts。 'How can I tell the next lesson a soul is
capable of learning?' he would say。 'The Spirit of God is the
teacher。 My part is to tell the good news。 Let that work as it
ought; as it can; as it will。' He knew that pain is with some the
only harbinger that can prepare the way for the entrance of
kindness: it is not understood till then。 In the lulls of her pain
he told her about the man Christ Jesuswhat he did for the poor
creatures who came to himhow kindly he spoke to themhow he cured
them。 He told her how gentle he was with the sinning women; how he
forgave them and told them to do so no more。 He left the story
without comment to work that faith which alone can redeem from
selfishness and bring into contact with all that is living and
productive of life; for to believe in him is to lay hold of eternal
life: he is the Lifetherefore the life of men。 She gave him but
little encouragement: he did not need it; for he believed in the
Life。 But her outcries were no longer accompanied with that fierce
and dreadful language in which she sought relief at first。 He said
to himself; 'What matter if I see no sign? I am doing my part。 Who
can tell; when the soul is free from the distress of the body; when
sights and sounds have vanished from her; and she is silent in the
eternal; with the terrible past behind her; and clear to her
consciousness; how the words I have spoken to her may yet live and
grow in her; how the kindness God has given me to show her may help
her to believe in the root of all kindness; in the everlasting love
of her Father in heaven? That she can feel at all is as sure a sign
of life as the adoration of an ecstatic saint。'
He had no difficulty now in getting from her what information she
could give him about his father。 It seemed to him of the greatest
import; though it amounted only to this; that when he was in London;
he used to lodge at the house of an old Scotchwoman of the name of
Macallister; who lived in Paradise Gardens; somewhere between
Bethnal Green and Spitalfields。 Whether he had been in London
lately; she did not know; but if anybody could tell him where he
was; it would be Mrs。 Macallister。
His heart filled with gratitude and hope and the surging desire for
the renewal of his London labours。 But he could not leave the dying
woman till she was beyond the reach of his comfort: he was her
keeper now。 And 'he that believeth shall not make haste。' Labour
without perturbation; readiness without hurry; no haste; and no
hesitation; was the divine law of his activity。
Shargar's mother breathed her last holding his hand。 They were
alone。 He kneeled by the bed; and prayed to God; saying;
'Father; this woman is in thy hands。 Take thou care of her; as thou
hast taken care of her hitherto。 Let the light go up in her soul;
that she may love and trust thee; O light; O gladness。 I thank thee
that thou hast blessed me with this ministration。 Now lead me to my
father。 Thine is the kingdom; and the power; and the glory; for
ever and ever。 Amen。'
He rose and went to his grandmother and told her all。 She put her
arms round his neck; and kissed him; and said;
'God bless ye; my bonny lad。 And he will bless ye。 He will; he
will。 Noo gang yer wa's; and do the wark he gies ye to do。 Only
min'; it's no you; it's him。'
The next morning; the sweet winds of his childhood wooing him to
remain yet a day among their fields; he sat on the top of the
Aberdeen coach; on his way back to the horrors of court and alley in
the terrible London。
CHAPTER VII。
THE SILK…WEAVER。
When he arrived he made it his first business to find 'Widow
Walker。' She was evidently one of the worst of her class; and could
it have been accomplished without scandal; and without interfering
with the quietness upon which he believed that the true effect of
his labours in a large measure depended; he would not have scrupled
simply to carry off the child。 With much difficulty; for the woman
was suspicious; he contrived to see her; and was at once reminded of
the child he had seen in the cart on the occasion of Shargar's
recognition of his mother。 He fancied he saw in her some
resemblance to his friend Shargar。 The affair ended in his paying
the woman a hundred and fifty pounds to give up the girl。 Within
six months she had drunk herself to death。 He took little Nancy
Kennedy home with him; and gave her in charge to his housekeeper。
She cried a good deal at first; and wanted to go back to Mother
Walker; but he had no great trouble with her after a time。 She
began to take a share in the house…work; and at length to wait upon
him。 Then Falconer began to see that he must cultivate relations
with other people in order to enlarge his means of helping the poor。
He nowise abandoned his conviction that whatever good he sought to
do or lent himself to aid must be effected entirely by individual
influence。 He had little faith in societies; regarding them chiefly
as a wretched substitute; just better than nothing; for that help
which the neighbour is to give to his neighbour。 Finding how the
unbelief of the best of the poor is occasioned by hopelessness in
privation; and the sufferings of those dear to them; he was
confident that only the personal communion of friendship could make
it possible for them to believe in God。 Christians must be in the
world as He was in the world; and in proportion as the truth
radiated from them; the world would be able to believe in Him。 Money
he saw to be worse than useless; except as a gracious outcome of
human feelings and brotherly love。 He always insisted that the
Saviour healed only those on whom his humanity had laid hold; that
he demanded faith of them in order to make them regard him; that so
his personal being might enter into their hearts。 Healing without
faith in its source would have done them harm instead of goodwould
have been to them a windfall; not a Godsend; at best the gift of
magic; even sometimes the power of Satan casting out Satan。 But he
must not therefore act as if he were the only one who could render
this individual aid; or as if men influencing the poor individually
could not aid each other in their individual labours。 He soon
found; I say; that there were things he could not do without help;
and Nancy was his first perplexity。 From this he was delivered in a
wonderful way。
One afternoon he was prowling about Spitalfields; where he had made
many acquaintances amongst the silk…weavers and their families。
Hearing a loud voice as he passed down a stair from the visit he
had been paying further up the house; he went into the room wh