第 95 节
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套牢 更新:2021-02-20 15:34 字数:9322
knew more about the metropolisthe west end exceptedthan most
people who had lived their lives in it。 The west end is no doubt a
considerable exception to make; but Falconer sought only his father;
and the west end was the place where he was least likely to find
him。 Day and night he wandered into all sorts of places: the worse
they looked the more attractive he found them。 It became almost a
craze with him。 He could not pass a dirty court or low…browed
archway。 He might be there。 Or he might have been there。 Or it
was such a place as he would choose for shelter。 He knew to what
such a life as his must have tended。
At first he was attracted only by tall elderly men。 Such a man he
would sometimes follow till his following made him turn and demand
his object。 If there was no suspicion of Scotch in his tone;
Falconer easily apologized。 If there was; he made such replies as
might lead to some betrayal。 He could not defend the course he was
adopting: it had not the shadow of probability upon its side。 Still
the greatest successes the world has ever beheld had been at one
time the greatest improbabilities! He could not choose but go on;
for as yet he could think of no other way。
Neither could a man like Falconer long confine his interest to this
immediate object; especially after he had; in following it; found
opportunity of being useful。 While he still made it his main object
to find his father; that object became a centre from which radiated
a thousand influences upon those who were as sheep that had no
shepherd。 He fell back into his old ways at Aberdeen; only with a
boundless sphere to work in; and with the hope of finding his father
to hearten him。 He haunted the streets at night; went into all
places of entertainment; often to the disgust of senses and soul;
and made his way into the lowest forms of life without introduction
or protection。
There was a certain stately air of the hills about him which was
often mistaken for country inexperience; and men thought in
consequence to make gain or game of him。 But such found their
mistake; and if not soon; then the more completely。 Far from
provoking or even meeting hostility; he soon satisfied those that
persisted; that it was dangerous。 In two years he became well known
to the poor of a large district; especially on both sides of
Shoreditch; for whose sake he made the exercise of his profession
though not an object yet a ready accident。
He lived in lodgings in John Streetthe same in which I found him
when I came to know him。 He made few acquaintances; and they were
chiefly the house…surgeons of hospitalsto which he paid frequent
visits。
He always carried a book in his pocket; but did not read much。 On
Sundays he generally went to some one of the many lonely heaths or
commons of Surrey with his New Testament。 When weary in London; he
would go to the reading…room of the British Museum for an hour or
two。 He kept up a regular correspondence with Dr。 Anderson。
At length he received a letter from him; which occasioned his
immediate departure for Aberdeen。 Until now; his friend; who was
entirely satisfied with his mode of life; and supplied him freely
with money; had not even expressed a wish to recall him; though he
had often spoken of visiting him in London。 It now appeared that;
unwilling to cause him any needless anxiety; he had abstained from
mentioning the fact that his health had been declining。 He had got
suddenly worse; and Falconer hastened to obey the summons he had
sent him in consequence。
With a heavy heart he walked up to the hospitable door; recalling as
he ascended the steps how he had stood there a helpless youth; in
want of a few pounds to save his hopes; when this friend received
him and bid him God…speed on the path he desired to follow。 In a
moment more he was shown into the study; and was passing through it
to go to the cottage…room; when Johnston laid his hand on his arm。
'The maister's no up yet; sir;' he said; with a very solemn look。
'He's been desperate efter seein' ye; and I maun gang an' lat him
ken 'at ye're here at last; for fear it suld be ower muckle for him;
seein' ye a' at ance。 But eh; sir!' he added; the tears gathering
in his eyes; 'ye'll hardly ken 'im。 He's that changed!'
Johnston left the study by the door to the cottageFalconer had
never known the doctor sleep thereand returning a moment after;
invited him to enter。 In the bed in the recessthe room unchanged;
with its deal table; and its sanded floorlay the form of his
friend。 Falconer hastened to the bedside; kneeled down; and took
his hand speechless。 The doctor was silent too; but a smile
overspread his countenance; and revealed his inward satisfaction。
Robert's heart was full; and he could only gaze on the worn face。
At length he was able to speak。
'What for didna ye sen' for me?' he said。 'Ye never tellt me ye was
ailin'。'
'Because you were doing good; Robert; my boy; and I who had done so
little had no right to interrupt what you were doing。 I wonder if
God will give me another chance。 I would fain do better。 I don't
think I could sit singing psalms to all eternity;' he added with a
smile。
'Whatever good I may do afore my turn comes; I hae you to thank for
't。 Eh; doctor; gin it hadna been for you!'
Robert's feelings overcame him。 He resumed; brokenly;
'Ye gae me a man to believe in; whan my ain father had forsaken me;
and my frien' was awa to God。 Ye hae made me; doctor。 Wi' meat an'
drink an' learnin' an' siller; an' a'thing at ance; ye hae made me。'
'Eh; Robert!' said the dying man; half rising on his elbow; 'to
think what God maks us a' to ane anither! My father did ten times
for me what I hae dune for you。 As I lie here thinkin' I may see
him afore a week's ower; I'm jist a bairn again。'
As he spoke; the polish of his speech was gone; and the social
refinement of his countenance with it。 The face of his ancestors;
the noble; sensitive; heart…full; but rugged; bucolic; and
weather…beaten through centuries of windy ploughing; hail…stormed
sheep…keeping; long…paced seed…sowing; and multiform labour; surely
not less honourable in the sight of the working God than the
fighting of the noble; came back in the face of the dying physician。
》From that hour to his death he spoke the rugged dialect of his
fathers。
A day or two after this; Robert again sitting by his bedside;
'I dinna ken;' he said; 'whether it's richtbut I hae nae fear o'
deith; an' yet I canna say I'm sure aboot onything。 I hae seen mony
a ane dee that cud hae no faith i' the Saviour; but I never saw that
fear that some gude fowk wud hae ye believe maun come at the last。
I wadna like to tak to ony papistry; but I never cud mak oot frae
the Bibleand I read mair at it i' the jungle than maybe ye wad
thinkthat it's a' ower wi' a body at their deith。 I never heard
them bring foret ony text but anethe maist ridiculous hash 'at
ever ye heardto justifee 't。'
'I ken the text ye mean〃As the tree falleth so it shall lie;〃 or
something like that'at they say King Solomon wrote; though better
scholars say his tree had fa'en mony a lang year afore that text saw
the licht。 I dinna believe sic a thocht was i' the man's heid when
he wrote it。 It is as ye sayower contemptible to ca' an argument。
I'll read it to ye ance mair。'
Robert got his Bible; and read the following portion from that
wonderful book; so little understood; because it is so full of
wisdomthe Book of Ecclesiastes:
'Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many
days。
'Give a portion to seven; and also to eight; for thou knowest not
what evil shall be upon the earth。
'If the clouds be full of rain; they empty themselves upon the
earth: and if the tree fall toward the south; or toward the north;
in the place where the tree falleth; there it shall be。
'He that observeth the wind shall not sow; and he that regardeth the
clouds shall not reap。
'As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit; nor how the
bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child: even so thou
knowest not the works of God who maketh all。
'In the morning sow thy seed; and in the evening withhold not thine
hand: for thou knowest not whether shall prosper; either this or
that; or whether they both shall be alike good。'
'Ay; ay; that's it;' said Dr。 Anderson。 'Weel; I maun say again that
they're ill aff for an argument that taks that for ane upo' sic a
momentous subjec'。 I prefer to say; wi' the same auld man; that I
know not the works of God who maketh all。 But I wish I could say I
believed onything for certain sure。 But whan I think aboot itwad
ye believe 't? the faith o' my father's mair to me nor ony faith o'
my ain。 That soonds strange。 But it's this: I'm positeeve that
that godly great auld man kent mair aboot a' thae t