第 90 节
作者:
套牢 更新:2021-02-20 15:34 字数:9322
and began to climb towards a mountain village of which he had heard
from a traveller; to find solitude and freedom in an air as lofty as
if he climbed twelve of his beloved cathedral spires piled up in
continuous ascent。
After ascending for hours in zigzags through pine woods; where the
only sound was of the little streams trotting down to the valley
below; or the distant hush of some thin waterfall; he reached a
level; and came out of the woods。 The path now led along the edge
of a precipice descending sheer to the uppermost terrace of the
valley he had left。 The valley was but a cleft in the mass of the
mountain: a little way over sank its other wall; steep as a
plumb…line could have made it; of solid rock。 On his right lay
green fields of clover and strange grasses。 Ever and anon from the
cleft steamed up great blinding clouds of mist; which now wandered
about over the nations of rocks on the mountain side beyond the
gulf; now wrapt himself in their bewildering folds。 In one moment
the whole creation had vanished; and there seemed scarce existence
enough left for more than the following footstep; the next; a mighty
mountain stood in front; crowned with blinding snow; an awful fact;
the lovely heavens were over his head; and the green sod under his
feet; the grasshoppers chirped about him; and the gorgeous
butterflies flew。 From regions far beyond came the bells of the
kine and the goats。 He reached a little inn; and there took up his
quarters。
I am able to be a little minute in my description; because I have
since visited the place myself。 Great heights rise around it on all
sides。 It stands as between heaven and hell; suspended between
peaks and gulfs。 The wind must roar awfully there in the winter;
but the mountains stand away with their avalanches; and all the
summer long keep the cold off the grassy fields。
The same evening; he was already weary。 The next morning it rained。
It rained fiercely all day。 He would leave the place on the
morrow。 In the evening it began to clear up。 He walked out。 The
sun was setting。 The snow…peaks were faintly tinged with rose; and
the ragged masses of vapour that hung lazy and leaden…coloured about
the sides of the abyss; were partially dyed a sulky orange red。
Then all faded into gray。 But as the sunlight vanished; a veil
sank from the face of the moon; already half…way to the zenith; and
she gathered courage and shone; till the mountain looked lovely as a
ghost in the gleam of its snow and the glimmer of its glaciers。
'Ah!' thought Falconer; 'such a peace at last is all a man can look
forthe repose of a spectral Elysium; a world where passion has
died away; and only the dim ghost of its memory to disturb with a
shadowy sorrow the helpless content of its undreaming years。 The
religion that can do but this much is not a very great or very
divine thing。 The human heart cannot invent a better it may be; but
it can imagine grander results。
He did not yet know what the religion was of which he spoke。 As
well might a man born stone…deaf estimate the power of sweet sounds;
or he who knows not a square from a circle pronounce upon the study
of mathematics。
The next morning rose brilliantan ideal summer day。 He would not
go yet; he would spend one day more in the place。 He opened his
valise to get some lighter garments。 His eye fell on a New
Testament。 Dr。 Anderson had put it there。 He had never opened it
yet; and now he let it lie。 Its time had not yet come。 He went
out。
Walking up the edge of the valley; he came upon a little stream
whose talk he had heard for some hundred yards。 It flowed through a
grassy hollow; with steeply sloping sides。 Water is the same all
the world over; but there was more than water here to bring his
childhood back to Falconer。 For at the spot where the path led him
down to the burn; a little crag stood out from the bank;a gray
stone like many he knew on the stream that watered the valley of
Rothieden: on the top of the stone grew a little heather; and beside
it; bending towards the water; was a silver birch。 He sat down on
the foot of the rock; shut in by the high grassy banks from the gaze
of the awful mountains。 The sole unrest was the run of the water
beside him; and it sounded so homely; that he began to jabber Scotch
to it。 He forgot that this stream was born in the clouds; far up
where that peak rose into the air behind him; he did not know that a
couple of hundred yards from where he sat; it tumbled headlong into
the valley below: with his country's birch…tree beside him; and the
rock crowned with its tuft of heather over his head; the quiet as of
a Sabbath afternoon fell upon himthat quiet which is the one
altogether lovely thing in the Scotch Sabbathand once more the
words arose in his mind; 'My peace I give unto you。'
Now he fell a…thinking what this peace could be。 And it came into
his mind as he thought; that Jesus had spoken in another place about
giving rest to those that came to him; while here he spoke about 'my
peace。' Could this my mean a certain kind of peace that the Lord
himself possessed? Perhaps it was in virtue of that peace; whatever
it was; that he was the Prince of Peace。 Whatever peace he had must
be the highest and best peacetherefore the one peace for a man to
seek; if indeed; as the words of the Lord seemed to imply; a man was
capable of possessing it。 He remembered the New Testament in his
box; and; resolving to try whether he could not make something more
out of it; went back to the inn quieter in heart than since he left
his home。 In the evening he returned to the brook; and fell to
searching the story; seeking after the peace of Jesus。
He found that the whole passage stood thus:
'Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you: not as the world
giveth give I unto you。 Let not your heart be troubled; neither let
it be afraid。'
He did not leave the place for six weeks。 Every day he went to the
burn; as he called it; with his New Testament; every day tried yet
again to make out something more of what the Saviour meant。 By the
end of the month it had dawned upon him; he hardly knew how; that
the peace of Jesus (although; of course; he could not know what it
was like till he had it) must have been a peace that came from the
doing of the will of his Father。 From the account he gave of the
discoveries he then made; I venture to represent them in the driest
and most exact form that I can find they will admit of。 When I use
the word discoveries; I need hardly say that I use it with reference
to Falconer and his previous knowledge。 They were these:that
Jesus taught
First;That a man's business is to do the will of God:
Second;That God takes upon himself the care of the man:
Third;Therefore; that a man must never be afraid of anything;
and so;
Fourth;be left free to love God with all his heart; and his
neighbour as himself。
But one day; his thoughts having cleared themselves a little upon
these points; a new set of questions arose with sudden
inundationcomprised in these two:
'How can I tell for certain that there ever was such a man? How am
I to be sure that such as he says is the mind of the maker of these
glaciers and butterflies?'
All this time he was in the wilderness as much as Moses at the back
of Horeb; or St。 Paul when he vanishes in Arabia: and he did nothing
but read the four gospels and ponder over them。 Therefore it is not
surprising that he should have already become so familiar with the
gospel story; that the moment these questions appeared; the
following words should dart to the forefront of his consciousness to
meet them:
'If any man will do his will; he shall know of the doctrine; whether
it be of God; or whether I speak of myself。'
Here was a word of Jesus himself; announcing the one means of
arriving at a conviction of the truth or falsehood of all that he
said; namely; the doing of the will of God by the man who would
arrive at such conviction。
The next question naturally was: What is this will of God of which
Jesus speaks? Here he found himself in difficulty。 The theology of
his grandmother rushed in upon him; threatening to overwhelm him
with demands as to feeling and inward action from which his soul
turned with sickness and fainting。 That they were repulsive to him;
that they appeared unreal; and contradictory to the nature around
him; was no proof that they were not of God。 But on the other hand;
that they demanded what seemed to him unjust;that these demands
were founded on what seemed to him untruth attributed to God; on
ways of thinking and feeling which are certainly degrading in a
man;these were reasons of the very highest nature for refusing to
act upon them so long as; from whatever defects it might be in
himself; they bore to him this aspect。 He saw that while they
appe