第 48 节
作者:套牢      更新:2021-02-20 15:33      字数:9322
  the weeping that would not be comforted。
  Robert had not the vaguest fancy that God was with himthe spirit
  of the Father groaning with the spirit of the boy in intercession
  that could not be uttered。  If God had come to him then and
  comforted him with the assurance of individual favourbut the very
  supposition is a taking of his name in vainhad Robert found
  comfort in the fancied assurance that God was his friend in
  especial; that some private favour was granted to his prayers; that;
  indeed; would have been to be left to his own inventions; to bring
  forth not fruits meet for repentance; but fruits for which
  repentance alone is meet。  But God was with him; and was indeed
  victorious in the boy when he rose from his knees; for the last
  time; as he thought; saying; 'I cannot yieldI will pray no
  more。'With a burst of bitter tears he sat down on the bedside till
  the loudest of the storm was over; then dried his dull eyes; in
  which the old outlook had withered away; and trod unknowingly in the
  silent footsteps of Shargar; who was ever one corner in advance of
  him; down to the dreary lessons and unheeded prayers; but; thank
  God; not to the sleepless night; for some griefs bring sleep the
  sooner。
  My reader must not mistake my use of the words especial and private;
  or suppose that I do not believe in an individual relation between
  every man and God; yes; a peculiar relation; differing from the
  relation between every other man and God!  But this very
  individuality and peculiarity can only be founded on the broadest
  truths of the Godhood and the manhood。
  Mrs。 Falconer; ere she went to sleep; gave thanks that the boys had
  been at their prayers together。  And so; in a very deep sense; they
  had。
  And well they might have been; for Shargar was nearly as desolate as
  Robert; and would certainly; had his mother claimed him now; have
  gone on the tramp with her again。  Wherein could this civilized life
  show itself to him better than that to which he had been born?  For
  clothing he cared little; and he had always managed to kill his
  hunger or thirst; if at longer intervals; then with greater
  satisfaction。  Wherein is the life of that man who merely does his
  eating and drinking and clothing after a civilized fashion better
  than that of the gipsy or tramp?  If the civilized man is honest to
  boot; and gives good work in return for the bread or turtle on which
  he dines; and the gipsy; on the other hand; steals his dinner; I
  recognize the importance of the difference; but if the rich man
  plunders the community by exorbitant profits; or speculation with
  other people's money; while the gipsy adds a fowl or two to the
  produce of his tinkering; or; once again; if the gipsy is as honest
  as the honest citizen; which is not so rare a case by any means as
  people imagine; I return to my question: Wherein; I say; is the warm
  house; the windows hung with purple; and the table covered with fine
  linen; more divine than the tent or the blue sky; and the dipping in
  the dish?  Why should not Shargar prefer a life with the mother God
  had given him to a life with Mrs。 Falconer?  Why should he prefer
  geography to rambling; or Latin to Romany?  His purposelessness and
  his love for Robert alone kept him where he was。
  The next evening; having given up his praying; Robert sat with his
  Sallust before him。  But the fount of tears began to swell; and the
  more he tried to keep it down; the more it went on swelling till his
  throat was filled with a lump of pain。  He rose and left the room。
  But he could not go near the garret。  That door too was closed。  He
  opened the house door instead; and went out into the street。  There;
  nothing was to be seen but faint blue air full of moonlight; solid
  houses; and shining snow。  Bareheaded he wandered round the corner
  of the house to the window whence first he had heard the sweet
  sounds of the pianoforte。  The fire within lighted up the crimson
  curtains; but no voice of music came forth。  The window was as dumb
  as the pale; faintly befogged moon overhead; itself seeming but a
  skylight through which shone the sickly light of the passionless
  world of the dead。  Not a form was in the street。  The eyes of the
  houses gleamed here and there upon the snow。  He leaned his elbow on
  the window…sill behind which stood that sealed fountain of lovely
  sound; looked up at the moon; careless of her or of aught else in
  heaven or on earth; and sunk into a reverie; in which nothing was
  consciously present but a stream of fog…smoke that flowed slowly;
  listlessly across the face of the moon; like the ghost of a dead
  cataract。  All at once a wailful sound arose in his head。  He did
  not think for some time whether it was born in his brain; or entered
  it from without。  At length he recognized the Flowers of the Forest;
  played as only the soutar could play it。  But alas! the cry
  responsive to his bow came only from the auld wifeno more from the
  bonny leddy!  Then he remembered that there had been a humble
  wedding that morning on the opposite side of the way; in the street
  department of the jollity of which Shargar had taken a small share
  by firing a brass cannon; subsequently confiscated by Mrs。 Falconer。
  But this was a strange tune to play at a wedding!  The soutar
  half…way to his goal of drunkenness; had begun to repent for the
  fiftieth time that year; had with his repentance mingled the memory
  of the bonny leddy ruthlessly tortured to death for his wrong; and
  had glided from a strathspey into that sorrowful moaning。  The
  lament interpreted itself to his disconsolate pupil as he had never
  understood it before; not even in the stubble…field; for it now
  spoke his own feelings of waste misery; forsaken loneliness。  Indeed
  Robert learned more of music in those few minutes of the foggy
  winter night and open street; shut out of all doors; with the tones
  of an ancient grief and lamentation floating through the blotted
  moonlight over his ever…present sorrow; than he could have learned
  from many lessons even of Miss St。 John。 He was cold to the heart;
  yet went in a little comforted。
  Things had gone ill with him。  Outside of Paradise; deserted of his
  angel; in the frost and the snow; the voice of the despised violin
  once more the source of a sad comfort!  But there is no better
  discipline than an occasional descent from what we count well…being;
  to a former despised or less happy condition。  One of the results of
  this taste of damnation in Robert was; that when he was in bed that
  night; his heart began to turn gently towards his old master。  How
  much did he not owe him; after all!  Had he not acted ill and
  ungratefully in deserting him?  His own vessel filled to the brim
  with grief; had he not let the waters of its bitterness overflow
  into the heart of the soutar?  The wail of that violin echoed now in
  Robert's heart; not for Flodden; not for himself; but for the
  debased nature that drew forth the plaint。  Comrades in misery; why
  should they part?  What right had he to forsake an old friend and
  benefactor because he himself was unhappy?  He would go and see him
  the very next night。  And he would make friends once more with the
  much 'suffering instrument' he had so wrongfully despised。
  CHAPTER II。
  THE STROKE。
  The following night; he left his books on the table; and the house
  itself behind him; and sped like a grayhound to Dooble Sanny's shop;
  lifted the latch; and entered。
  By the light of a single dip set on a chair; he saw the shoemaker
  seated on his stool; one hand lying on the lap of his leathern
  apron; his other hand hanging down by his side; and the fiddle on
  the ground at his feet。  His wife stood behind him; wiping her eyes
  with her blue apron。  Through all its accumulated dirt; the face of
  the soutar looked ghastly; and they were eyes of despair that he
  lifted to the face of the youth as he stood holding the latch in his
  hand。  Mrs。 Alexander moved towards Robert; drew him in; and gently
  closed the door behind him; resuming her station like a sculptured
  mourner behind her motionless husband。
  'What on airth's the maitter wi' ye; Sandy?' said Robert。
  'Eh; Robert!' returned the shoemaker; and a tone of affection tinged
  the mournfulness with which he uttered the strange words'eh;
  Robert! the Almichty will gang his ain gait; and I'm in his grup
  noo。'
  'He's had a stroke;' said his wife; without removing her apron from
  her eyes。
  'I hae gotten my pecks (blows);' resumed the soutar; in a despairing
  voice; which gave yet more effect to the fantastic eccentricity of
  conscience which from the midst of so many grave faults chose such a
  one as especially bringing the divine displeasure upon him: 'I hae
  gotten my pecks for cryin' doon my ain auld wife to set up your
  bonny leddy。  The tane's gane a' to aise an' stew (ashes and dust);
  an' frae the tither;' he went on; looking down on the violin at his
  feet as if it h