第 48 节
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套牢 更新:2021-02-20 15:33 字数:9322
the weeping that would not be comforted。
Robert had not the vaguest fancy that God was with himthe spirit
of the Father groaning with the spirit of the boy in intercession
that could not be uttered。 If God had come to him then and
comforted him with the assurance of individual favourbut the very
supposition is a taking of his name in vainhad Robert found
comfort in the fancied assurance that God was his friend in
especial; that some private favour was granted to his prayers; that;
indeed; would have been to be left to his own inventions; to bring
forth not fruits meet for repentance; but fruits for which
repentance alone is meet。 But God was with him; and was indeed
victorious in the boy when he rose from his knees; for the last
time; as he thought; saying; 'I cannot yieldI will pray no
more。'With a burst of bitter tears he sat down on the bedside till
the loudest of the storm was over; then dried his dull eyes; in
which the old outlook had withered away; and trod unknowingly in the
silent footsteps of Shargar; who was ever one corner in advance of
him; down to the dreary lessons and unheeded prayers; but; thank
God; not to the sleepless night; for some griefs bring sleep the
sooner。
My reader must not mistake my use of the words especial and private;
or suppose that I do not believe in an individual relation between
every man and God; yes; a peculiar relation; differing from the
relation between every other man and God! But this very
individuality and peculiarity can only be founded on the broadest
truths of the Godhood and the manhood。
Mrs。 Falconer; ere she went to sleep; gave thanks that the boys had
been at their prayers together。 And so; in a very deep sense; they
had。
And well they might have been; for Shargar was nearly as desolate as
Robert; and would certainly; had his mother claimed him now; have
gone on the tramp with her again。 Wherein could this civilized life
show itself to him better than that to which he had been born? For
clothing he cared little; and he had always managed to kill his
hunger or thirst; if at longer intervals; then with greater
satisfaction。 Wherein is the life of that man who merely does his
eating and drinking and clothing after a civilized fashion better
than that of the gipsy or tramp? If the civilized man is honest to
boot; and gives good work in return for the bread or turtle on which
he dines; and the gipsy; on the other hand; steals his dinner; I
recognize the importance of the difference; but if the rich man
plunders the community by exorbitant profits; or speculation with
other people's money; while the gipsy adds a fowl or two to the
produce of his tinkering; or; once again; if the gipsy is as honest
as the honest citizen; which is not so rare a case by any means as
people imagine; I return to my question: Wherein; I say; is the warm
house; the windows hung with purple; and the table covered with fine
linen; more divine than the tent or the blue sky; and the dipping in
the dish? Why should not Shargar prefer a life with the mother God
had given him to a life with Mrs。 Falconer? Why should he prefer
geography to rambling; or Latin to Romany? His purposelessness and
his love for Robert alone kept him where he was。
The next evening; having given up his praying; Robert sat with his
Sallust before him。 But the fount of tears began to swell; and the
more he tried to keep it down; the more it went on swelling till his
throat was filled with a lump of pain。 He rose and left the room。
But he could not go near the garret。 That door too was closed。 He
opened the house door instead; and went out into the street。 There;
nothing was to be seen but faint blue air full of moonlight; solid
houses; and shining snow。 Bareheaded he wandered round the corner
of the house to the window whence first he had heard the sweet
sounds of the pianoforte。 The fire within lighted up the crimson
curtains; but no voice of music came forth。 The window was as dumb
as the pale; faintly befogged moon overhead; itself seeming but a
skylight through which shone the sickly light of the passionless
world of the dead。 Not a form was in the street。 The eyes of the
houses gleamed here and there upon the snow。 He leaned his elbow on
the window…sill behind which stood that sealed fountain of lovely
sound; looked up at the moon; careless of her or of aught else in
heaven or on earth; and sunk into a reverie; in which nothing was
consciously present but a stream of fog…smoke that flowed slowly;
listlessly across the face of the moon; like the ghost of a dead
cataract。 All at once a wailful sound arose in his head。 He did
not think for some time whether it was born in his brain; or entered
it from without。 At length he recognized the Flowers of the Forest;
played as only the soutar could play it。 But alas! the cry
responsive to his bow came only from the auld wifeno more from the
bonny leddy! Then he remembered that there had been a humble
wedding that morning on the opposite side of the way; in the street
department of the jollity of which Shargar had taken a small share
by firing a brass cannon; subsequently confiscated by Mrs。 Falconer。
But this was a strange tune to play at a wedding! The soutar
half…way to his goal of drunkenness; had begun to repent for the
fiftieth time that year; had with his repentance mingled the memory
of the bonny leddy ruthlessly tortured to death for his wrong; and
had glided from a strathspey into that sorrowful moaning。 The
lament interpreted itself to his disconsolate pupil as he had never
understood it before; not even in the stubble…field; for it now
spoke his own feelings of waste misery; forsaken loneliness。 Indeed
Robert learned more of music in those few minutes of the foggy
winter night and open street; shut out of all doors; with the tones
of an ancient grief and lamentation floating through the blotted
moonlight over his ever…present sorrow; than he could have learned
from many lessons even of Miss St。 John。 He was cold to the heart;
yet went in a little comforted。
Things had gone ill with him。 Outside of Paradise; deserted of his
angel; in the frost and the snow; the voice of the despised violin
once more the source of a sad comfort! But there is no better
discipline than an occasional descent from what we count well…being;
to a former despised or less happy condition。 One of the results of
this taste of damnation in Robert was; that when he was in bed that
night; his heart began to turn gently towards his old master。 How
much did he not owe him; after all! Had he not acted ill and
ungratefully in deserting him? His own vessel filled to the brim
with grief; had he not let the waters of its bitterness overflow
into the heart of the soutar? The wail of that violin echoed now in
Robert's heart; not for Flodden; not for himself; but for the
debased nature that drew forth the plaint。 Comrades in misery; why
should they part? What right had he to forsake an old friend and
benefactor because he himself was unhappy? He would go and see him
the very next night。 And he would make friends once more with the
much 'suffering instrument' he had so wrongfully despised。
CHAPTER II。
THE STROKE。
The following night; he left his books on the table; and the house
itself behind him; and sped like a grayhound to Dooble Sanny's shop;
lifted the latch; and entered。
By the light of a single dip set on a chair; he saw the shoemaker
seated on his stool; one hand lying on the lap of his leathern
apron; his other hand hanging down by his side; and the fiddle on
the ground at his feet。 His wife stood behind him; wiping her eyes
with her blue apron。 Through all its accumulated dirt; the face of
the soutar looked ghastly; and they were eyes of despair that he
lifted to the face of the youth as he stood holding the latch in his
hand。 Mrs。 Alexander moved towards Robert; drew him in; and gently
closed the door behind him; resuming her station like a sculptured
mourner behind her motionless husband。
'What on airth's the maitter wi' ye; Sandy?' said Robert。
'Eh; Robert!' returned the shoemaker; and a tone of affection tinged
the mournfulness with which he uttered the strange words'eh;
Robert! the Almichty will gang his ain gait; and I'm in his grup
noo。'
'He's had a stroke;' said his wife; without removing her apron from
her eyes。
'I hae gotten my pecks (blows);' resumed the soutar; in a despairing
voice; which gave yet more effect to the fantastic eccentricity of
conscience which from the midst of so many grave faults chose such a
one as especially bringing the divine displeasure upon him: 'I hae
gotten my pecks for cryin' doon my ain auld wife to set up your
bonny leddy。 The tane's gane a' to aise an' stew (ashes and dust);
an' frae the tither;' he went on; looking down on the violin at his
feet as if it h