第 14 节
作者:
击水三千 更新:2021-02-20 15:20 字数:9322
s; so symmetrical in her rather tight sleeves; and emerging into view in the most delicate wrists。 What a marvelous skin!
〃Have you ever posed?〃
She startled and the color flamed in her cheeks。 Her eyes shot a glance of terror at him。 〃II;〃 she stammered。 Then almost defiantly; 〃Yes; I didfor a while。 But I didn't suppose anyone knew。 At the time we needed the money badly。〃
Norman felt deep disgust with himself for bursting out with such a question; and for having surprised her secret。 〃There's nothing to be ashamed of;〃 he said gently。
〃Oh; I'm not ashamed;〃 she returned。 Her agitation had subsided。 〃The only reason I quit was because the work was terribly hard and the pay small and uncertain。 I was confused because they discharged me at the last place I had; when they found out I had been a model。 It was a church paper office。〃
Again she poised her pencil and lowered her eyes。 But he did not take the hint。 〃Is there anything you would rather do than this sort of work?〃 he asked。
〃Nothing I could afford;〃 replied she。
〃If you had been kind to Miss Burroughs yesterday she would have helped you。〃
〃I couldn't afford to do that;〃 said the girl in her quiet; reticent way。
〃To do what?〃
〃To be nice to anyone for what I could get out of it。〃
Norman smiled somewhat cynically。 Probably the girl fancied she was truthful; but human beings rarely knew anything about their real selves。 〃What would you like to do?〃
She did not answer his question until she had shrunk completely within herself and was again thickly veiled with the expression which made everyone think her insignificant。 〃Nothing I could afford to do;〃 said she。 It was plain that she did not wish to be questioned further along that line。
〃The stage?〃 he persisted。
〃I hadn't thought of it;〃 was her answer。
〃What then?〃
〃I don't think about things I can't have。 I never made any definite plans。〃
〃But isn't it a good idea always to look ahead? As long as one has to be moving; one might as well move in a definite direction。〃
She was waiting with pencil poised。
〃There isn't much of a future at this business。〃
She shrank slightly。 He felt that she regarded his remark as preparation for a kindly hint that she was not giving satisfaction。 。 。 。 Well; why not leave it that way? Perhaps she would quit of her own accord would spare him the troubleand embarrassmentof arranging with Tetlow for another place for her。 He began to dictategave her a few sentences mockingly different from his usual terse and clear statements interrupted himself with:
〃You misunderstood me a while ago。 I didn't mean you weren't doing your work well。 On the contrary; I think you'll soon be expert。 But I thought perhaps I might be able to help you to something you'd like better。〃
He listened to his own words in astonishment。 What new freak of madness was this? Instead of clearing himself of this uncanny girl; he was proposing things to her that would mean closer relations。 And what reason had he to think she was fitted for anything but just what she was now doingdoing indifferently well?
〃Thank you;〃 she said; so quietly that it seemed coldly; 〃but I'm satisfied as I am。〃
Her manner seemed to say with polite and restrained plainness that she was not in the least appreciative of his interest or of himself。 But this could not be。 No girl in her position could fail to be grateful for his interest。 No woman; in all his life; had ever failed to respond to his slightest advance。 No; it simply could not be。 She was merely shy; and had a peculiar way of showing it。 He said:
〃You have no ambition?〃
〃That's not for a woman。〃
She was making her replies as brief as civility permitted。 He observed her narrowly。 She was not shy; not embarrassed。 What kind of game was this? It could not be in sincere nature for a person in her position thus to treat overtures; friendly and courteous overtures; from one in his position。 And never before neverhad a woman been thus unresponsive。 Instead of feeling relief that she had disentangled him from the plight into which his impulsive offer had flung him; he was piquedangeredand his curiosity was inflamed as never before about any woman。
The relations of the sexes are for the most part governed by traditions of sex allurements and sex tricks so ancient that they have ceased to be conscious and have become instinctive。 One of these venerable first principles is that mystery is the arch provoker。 Norman; an old and expert student of the great gamethe only game for which the staidest and most serious will abandon all else to follow its merry callNorman knew this trick of mystery。 The woman veils herself and makes believe to flyan excellent trick; as good to…day as ever after five thousand years of service。 And he knew that in it lay the explanation for the sudden and high upflaming of his interest in this girl。 〃What an ass I'm making of myself!〃 reflected he。 〃When I care nothing about the girl; why should I care about the mystery of her? Of course; it's some poor little affair; a puzzle not worth puzzling out。〃
All true and clear enough。 Yet seeing it did not abate his interest a particle。 She had veiled herself; she was pretendingperhaps honestlyto fly。 He rose and went to the window; stood with his back to her; resumed dictating。 But the sentences would not come。 He whirled abruptly。 〃I'm not ready to do the thing yet;〃 he said。 〃I'll send for you later。〃
Without a word or a glance she stood; took her book and went toward the door。 He gazed after her。 He could not refrain from speaking again。 〃I'm afraid you misunderstood my offer a while ago;〃 said he; neither curt nor friendly。 〃I forgot how such things from a man to a young woman might be misinterpreted。〃
〃I never thought of that;〃 replied she unembarrassed。 〃It was simply that I can't put myself under obligation to anyone。〃
As she stood there; her full beauty flashed upon himthe exquisite form; the subtly graceful poise of her body; of her headthe loveliness of that golden… hued white skinthe charm of her small rosy mouth the delicate; sensitive; slightly tilted noseand her eyes above all; her eyes!so clear; so sweet。 Her voice had seemed thin and faint to him; its fineness now seemed the rarest delicacythe exactly fitting kind for so evasive and delicate a beauty as hers。 He made a slight bow of dismissal; turned abruptly away。 Never in all his life; strewn with gallant experiencesnever had a woman thus treated him; and never had a woman thus affected him。 〃I am madstark mad!〃 he muttered。 〃A ten…dollar…a…week typewriter; whom nobody on earth but myself would look at a second time!〃 But something within him hurled back this scornful fling。 Though no one else on earth saw or appreciatedwhat of it? She affected HIM thusand that was enough。 〃_I_ want her! 。 。 。 I WANT her! I have never wanted a woman before。〃
He rushed into the dressing room attached to his office; plunged his face into ice…cold water。 This somewhat eased the burning sensation that was becoming intolerable。 Many were the unaccountable incidents in his acquaintance with this strange creature; the most preposterous was this sudden seizure。 He realized now that his feeling for her had been like the quiet; steady; imperceptible filling of a reservoir that suddenly announces itself by the thunder and roar of a mighty cascade over the dam。 〃This is madnesssheer madness! I am still master within myself。 I will make short work of this rebellion。〃 And with an air of calmness so convincing that he believed in it he addressed himself to the task of sanity and wisdom lying plain before him。 〃A man of my position caught by a girl like that! A man such as I am; caught by ANY woman whatever!〃 It was grotesque。 He opened his door to summon Tetlow。
The gate in the outside railing was directly opposite; and about thirty feet away。 Tetlow and Miss Hallowell were going outevidently to lunch together。 She was looking up at the chief clerk with laughing eyesthey seemed coquettish to the infuriated Norman。 And Tetlowthe serious and squab young ass was gazing at her with the expression men of the stupid squab sort put on when they wish to impress a woman。 At this spectacle; at the vision of that slim young loveliness; that perfect form and deliciously smooth soft skin; white beyond belief beneath its faintly golden tint the hot blood steamed up into Norman's brain; blinded his sight; reddened it with desire and jealousy。 He drew back; closed his door with a bang。
〃This is not I;〃 he muttered。 〃What has happened? Am I insane?〃
When Tetlow returned from lunch the office boy on duty at the gate told him that Mr。 Norman wished to see him at once。 Like all men trying to advance along ways where their fellow men can help or hinder; the head clerk was full of more or less clever little tricks thought out with a view to making a good impression。 One of them was to stamp upon all minds his virtue of promptness of what use to be prompt unless you forced every one to feel how prompt you were? He went in to see Norman; with hat in hand and overcoat on his back and one glove off; the other still on。 Norman was standing at a window; sm