第 17 节
作者:
做男人挺好的 更新:2021-02-20 15:18 字数:9322
Thus equipped; he ceased from wood…chopping; and began to make more
than a mere living。 Nor was he downhearted when the scurvy broke
out on his own body。 Ever he ran his trap…lines and sang his
ancient chant。 Nor could the pessimist shake his surety of the
three hundred thousand of Alaskan gold he as going to shake out of
the moss…roots。
〃But this ain't gold…country;〃 they told him。
〃Gold is where you find it; son; as I should know who was mining
before you was born; 'way back in Forty…Nine;〃 was his reply。
〃What was Bonanza Creek but a moose…pasture? No miner'd look at
it; yet they washed five…hundred…dollar pans and took out fifty
million dollars。 Eldorado was just as bad。 For all you know;
right under this here cabin; or right over the next hill; is
millions just waiting for a lucky one like me to come and shake it
out。〃
At the end of January came his disaster。 Some powerful animal that
he decided was a bob…cat; managing to get caught in one of his
smaller traps; dragged it away。 A heavy snow…fall put a stop
midway to his pursuit; losing the trail for him and losing himself。
There were but several hours of daylight each day between the
twenty hours of intervening darkness; and his efforts in the grey
light and continually falling snow succeeded only in losing him
more thoroughly。 Fortunately; when winter snow falls in the
Northland the thermometer invariably rises; so; instead of the
customary forty and fifty and even sixty degrees below zero; the
temperature remained fifteen below。 Also; he was warmly clad and
had a full matchbox。 Further to mitigate his predicament; on the
fifth day he killed a wounded moose that weighed over half a ton。
Making his camp beside it on a spruce…bottom; he was prepared to
last out the winter; unless a searching party found him or his
scurvy grew worse。
But at the end of two weeks there had been no sign of search; while
his scurvy had undeniably grown worse。 Against his fire; banked
from outer cold by a shelter…wall of spruce…boughs; he crouched
long hours in sleep and long hours in waking。 But the waking hours
grew less; becoming semi…waking or half…dreaming hours as the
process of hibernation worked their way with him。 Slowly the
sparkle point of consciousness and identity that was John Tarwater
sank; deeper and deeper; into the profounds of his being that had
been compounded ere man was man; and while he was becoming man;
when he; first of all animals; regarded himself with an
introspective eye and laid the beginnings of morality in
foundations of nightmare peopled by the monsters of his own ethic…
thwarted desires。
Like a man in fever; waking to intervals of consciousness; so Old
Tarwater awoke; cooked his moose…meat; and fed the fire; but more
and more time he spent in his torpor; unaware of what was day…dream
and what was sleep…dream in the content of his unconsciousness。
And here; in the unforgetable crypts of man's unwritten history;
unthinkable and unrealizable; like passages of nightmare or
impossible adventures of lunacy; he encountered the monsters
created of man's first morality that ever since have vexed him into
the spinning of fantasies to elude them or do battle with them。
In short; weighted by his seventy years; in the vast and silent
loneliness of the North; Old Tarwater; as in the delirium of drug
or anaesthetic; recovered within himself; the infantile mind of the
child…man of the early world。 It was in the dusk of Death's
fluttery wings that Tarwater thus crouched; and; like his remote
forebear; the child…man; went to myth…making; and sun…heroizing;
himself hero…maker and the hero in quest of the immemorable
treasure difficult of attainment。
Either must he attain the treasure … for so ran the inexorable
logic of the shadow…land of the unconscious … or else sink into the
all…devouring sea; the blackness eater of the light that swallowed
to extinction the sun each night 。 。 。 the sun that arose ever in
rebirth next morning in the east; and that had become to man man's
first symbol of immortality through rebirth。 All this; in the
deeps of his unconsciousness (the shadowy western land of
descending light); was the near dusk of Death down into which he
slowly ebbed。
But how to escape this monster of the dark that from within him
slowly swallowed him? Too deep…sunk was he to dream of escape or
feel the prod of desire to escape。 For him reality had ceased。
Nor from within the darkened chamber of himself could reality
recrudesce。 His years were too heavy upon him; the debility of
disease and the lethargy and torpor of the silence and the cold
were too profound。 Only from without could reality impact upon him
and reawake within him an awareness of reality。 Otherwise he would
ooze down through the shadow…realm of the unconscious into the all…
darkness of extinction。
But it came; the smash of reality from without; crashing upon his
ear drums in a loud; explosive snort。 For twenty days; in a
temperature that had never risen above fifty below; no breath of
wind had blown movement; no slightest sound had broken the silence。
Like the smoker on the opium couch refocusing his eyes from the
spacious walls of dream to the narrow confines of the mean little
room; so Old Tarwater stared vague…eyed before him across his dying
fire; at a huge moose that stared at him in startlement; dragging a
wounded leg; manifesting all signs of extreme exhaustion; it; too;
had been straying blindly in the shadow…land; and had wakened to
reality only just ere it stepped into Tarwater's fire。
He feebly slipped the large fur mitten lined with thickness of wool
from his right hand。 Upon trial he found the trigger finger too
numb for movement。 Carefully; slowly; through long minutes; he
worked the bare hand inside his blankets; up under his fur PARKA;
through the chest openings of his shirts; and into the slightly
warm hollow of his left arm…pit。 Long minutes passed ere the
finger could move; when; with equal slowness of caution; he
gathered his rifle to his shoulder and drew bead upon the great
animal across the fire。
At the shot; of the two shadow…wanderers; the one reeled downward
to the dark and the other reeled upward to the light; swaying
drunkenly on his scurvy…ravaged legs; shivering with nervousness
and cold; rubbing swimming eyes with shaking fingers; and staring
at the real world all about him that had returned to him with such
sickening suddenness。 He shook himself together; and realized that
for long; how long he did not know; he had bedded in the arms of
Death。 He spat; with definite intention; heard the spittle crackle
in the frost; and judged it must be below and far below sixty
below。 In truth; that day at Fort Yukon; the spirit thermometer
registered seventy…five degrees below zero; which; since freezing…
point is thirty…two above; was equivalent to one hundred and seven
degrees of frost。
Slowly Tarwater's brain reasoned to action。 Here; in the vast
alone; dwelt Death。 Here had come two wounded moose。 With the
clearing of the sky after the great cold came on; he had located
his bearings; and he knew that both wounded moose had trailed to
him from the east。 Therefore; in the east; were men … whites or
Indians he could not tell; but at any rate men who might stand by
him in his need and help moor him to reality above the sea of dark。
He moved slowly; but he moved in reality; girding himself with
rifle; ammunition; matches; and a pack of twenty pounds of moose…
meat。 Then; an Argus rejuvenated; albeit lame of both legs and
tottery; he turned his back on the perilous west and limped into
the sun…arising; re…birthing east。 。 。 。
Days later … how many days later he was never to know … dreaming
dreams and seeing visions; cackling his old gold…chant of Forty…
Nine; like one drowning and swimming feebly to keep his
consciousness above the engulfing dark; he came out upon the snow…
slope to a canyon and saw below smoke rising and men who ceased
from work to gaze at him。 He tottered down the hill to them; still
singing; and when he ceased from lack of breath they called him
variously: Santa Claus; Old Christmas; Whiskers; the Last of the
Mohicans; and Father Christmas。 And when he stood among them he
stood very still; without speech; while great tears welled out of
his eyes。 He cried silently; a long time; till; as if suddenly
bethinking himself; he sat down in the snow with much creaking and
crackling of his joints; and from this low vantage point toppled
sidewise and fainted calmly and easily away。
In less than a week Old Tarwater was up and limping about the
housework of the cabin; cooking and dish…washing for the five men
of the creek。 Genuine sourdoughs (pioneers) they were; tough and
hard…bitten; who had been buried so deeply inside the Circle that
they did not know there was a Klondike Str