第 20 节
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quarrelled violently to collect his debts instead of one of his own
beloved Boers; I am sure I do not know。 I will go and write to him。
Allan; see that the messenger and his horse get something to eat。〃
I nodded and went to the man; who was one of those that had defended
Maraisfontein with me; a good fellow unless he got near liquor。
〃Heer Allan;〃 he said; looking round to see that we were not overheard;
〃I have a little writing for you also;〃 and be produced from his pouch a
note that was unaddressed。
I tore it open eagerly。 Within was written in French; which no Boer
would understand if the letter fell into his hands:
〃Be brave and faithful; and remember; as I shall。 Oh! love of my heart;
adieu; adieu!〃
This message was unsigned; but what need was there of signature?
I wrote an answer of a sort that may be imagined; though what the exact
words were I cannot remember after the lapse of nearly half a century。
Oddly enough; it is the things I said which I recall at such a distance
of time rather than the things which I wrote; perhaps because; when once
written; my mind being delivered; troubled itself with them no more。 So
in due course the Hottentot departed with my father's letter and my own;
and that was the last direct communication which we had with Henri or
Marie Marais for more than a year。
I think that those long months were on the whole the most wretched I
have ever spent。 The time of life which I was passing through is always
trying; that period of emergence from youth into full and responsible
manhood which in Africa generally takes place earlier than it does here
in England; where young men often seem to me to remain boys up to
five…and…twenty。 The circumstances which I have detailed made it
particularly so in my own case; for here was I; who should have been but
a cheerful lad; oppressed with the sorrows and anxieties; and fettered
by the affections of maturity。
I could not get Marie out of my mind; her image was with me by day and
by night; especially by night; which caused me to sleep badly。 I became
morose; supersensitive; and excitable。 I developed a cough; and
thought; as did others; that I was going into a decline。 I remember
that Hans even asked me once if I would not come and peg out the exact
place where I should like to be buried; so that I might be sure that
there would be no mistake made when I could no longer speak for myself。
On that occasion I kicked Hans; one of the few upon which I have ever
touched a native。 The truth was that I had not the slightest intention
of being buried。 I wanted to live and marry Marie; not to die and be
put in a hole by Hans。 Only I saw no prospect of marrying Marie; or
even of seeing her again; and that was why I felt low…spirited。
Of course; from time to time news of the trek…Boers reached us; but it
was extremely confused。 There were so many parties of them; their
adventures were so difficult to follow; and; I may add; often so
terrible; so few of them could write; trustworthy messengers were so
scanty; distances were so great。 At any rate; we heard nothing of
Marais's band except a rumour that they had trekked to a district in
what is now the Transvaal; which is called Rustenberg; and thence on
towards Delagoa Bay into an unknown veld where they had vanished。 From
Marie herself no letter came; which showed me clearly enough that she
had not found an opportunity of sending one。
Observing my depressed condition; my father suggested as a remedy that I
should go to the theological college at Cape Town and prepare myself for
ordination。 But the Church as a career did not appeal to me; perhaps
because I felt that I could never be sufficiently good; perhaps because
I knew that as a clergyman I should find no opportunity of travelling
north when my call came。 For I always believed that this call would
come。
My father; who wished that I should hear another kind of call; was vexed
with me over this matter。 He desired earnestly that I should follow the
profession which he adorned; and indeed saw no other open for me any
more than I did myself。 Of course he was right in a way; seeing that in
the end I found none; unless big game hunting and Kaffir trading can be
called a profession。 I don't know; I am sure。 Still; poor business as
it may be; I say now when I am getting towards the end of life that I am
glad I did not follow any other。 It has suited me; that was the
insignificant hole in the world's affairs which I was destined to fit;
whose only gifts were a remarkable art of straight shooting and the more
common one of observation mixed with a little untrained philosophy。
So hot did our arguments become about this subject of the Church; for;
as may be imagined; in the course of them I revealed some unorthodoxy;
especially as regards the matter of our methods of Christianising
Kaffirs; that I was extremely thankful when a diversion occurred which
took me away from home。 The story of my defence of Maraisfontein had
spread far; and that of my feats of shooting; especially in the Goose
Kloof; still farther。 So the end of it was that those in authority
commandeered me to serve in one of the continual Kaffir frontier wars
which was in progress; and instantly gave me a commission as a kind of
lieutenant in a border corps。
Now the events of that particular war have nothing to do with the
history that I am telling; so I do not propose even to touch on them。 I
served in it for a year; meeting with many adventures; one or two
successes; and several failures。 Once I was wounded slightly; twice I
but just escaped with my life。 Once I was reprimanded for taking a
foolish risk and losing some men。 Twice I was commended for what were
called gallant actions; such as bringing a wounded comrade out of danger
under a warm fire; mostly of assegais; and penetrating by night; almost
alone; into the stronghold of a chieftain; and shooting him。
At length that war was patched up with an inconclusive peace and my
corps was disbanded。 I returned home; no longer a lad; but a man with
experience of various kinds and a rather unique knowledge of Kaffirs;
their languages; history; and modes of thought and action。 Also I had
associated a good deal with British officers; and from them acquired
much that I had found no opportunity of studying before; especially; I
hope; the ideas and standards of English gentlemen。
I had not been back at the Mission Station more than three weeks; quite
long enough for me to begin to be bored with idleness and inactivity;
when that call for which I had been waiting came at last。
One day a 〃smous〃; that is a low kind of white man; often a Jew; who
travels about trading with unsophisticated Boers and Kaffirs; and
cheating them if he can; called at the station with his cartful of
goods。 I was about to send him away; having no liking for such gentry;
when he asked me if I were named Allan Quatermain。 I said 〃Yes;〃
whereon he replied that he had a letter for me; and produced a packet
wrapped up in sail…cloth。 I asked him whence he had it; and he answered
from a man whom he had met at Port Elizabeth; an east coast trader; who;
hearing that he was coming into the Cradock district; entrusted him with
the letter。 The man told him that it was very important; and that I
should reward the bearer well if it were delivered safely。
While the Jew talked (I think he was a Jew) I was opening the
sail…cloth。 Within was a piece of linen which had been oiled to keep
out water; addressed in some red pigment to myself or my father。 This;
too; I opened; not without difficulty; for it was carefully sewn up; and
found within it a letter…packet; also addressed to myself or my father;
in the handwriting of Marie。
Great Heaven! How my heart jumped at that sight! Calling to Hans to
make the smous comfortable and give him food; I went into my own room;
and there read the letter; which ran thus:
〃MY DEAR ALLAN;I do not know whether the other letters I have written
to you have ever come to your hands; or indeed if this one will。 Still;
I send it on chance by a wandering Portuguese half…breed who is going to
Delagoa Bay; about fifty miles; I believe; from the place where I now
write; near the Crocodile River。 My father has named it Maraisfontein;
after our old home。 If those letters reached you; you will have learned
of the terrible things we went through on our journey; the attacks by
the Kaffirs in the Zoutpansberg region; who destroyed one of our parties
altogether; and so forth。 If not; all that story must wait; for it is
too long to tell now; and; indeed; I have but little paper; and not much
pencil。 It will be enough to say; therefore; that to the number of
thirty…five white people; men; women and children; we trekked at the
beginning of the summer season; when the grass was commencing to grow;
from