第 12 节
作者:
僻处自说 更新:2021-02-20 14:23 字数:9321
racemes; the tiniest corollas; heaths; nectaries of the most
variegated hues。 Her hands; as swift as her thoughts; went from the
table to the flower she was making; as those of an accomplished
pianist fly over the keys。 Her fingers seemed to be fairies; to use
Perrault's expression; so infinite were the different actions of
twisting; fitting; and pressure needed for the work; all hidden under
grace of movement; while she adapted each motion to the result with
the lucidity of instinct。
〃I could not tire of admiring her as she shaped a flower from the
materials sorted before her; padding the wire stem and adjusting the
leaves。 She displayed the genius of a painter in her bold attempts;
she copied faded flowers and yellowing leaves; she struggled even with
wildflowers; the most artless of all; and the most elaborate in their
simplicity。
〃 'This art;' she would say; 'is in its infancy。 If the women of Paris
had a little of the genius which the slavery of the harem brings out
in Oriental women; they would lend a complete language of flowers to
the wreaths they wear on their head。 To please my own taste as an
artist I have made drooping flowers with leaves of the hue of
Florentine bronze; such as are found before or after the winter。 Would
not such a crown on the head of a young woman whose life is a failure
have a certain poetical fitness? How many things a woman might express
by her head…dress! Are there not flowers for drunken Bacchantes;
flowers for gloomy and stern bigots; pensive flowers for women who are
bored? Botany; I believe; may be made to express every sensation and
thought of the soul; even the most subtle。'
〃She would employ me to stamp out the leaves; cut up material; and
prepare wires for the stems。 My affected desire for occupation made me
soon skilful。 We talked as we worked。 When I had nothing to do; I read
new books to her; for I had my part to keep up as a man weary of life;
worn out with griefs; gloomy; sceptical; and soured。 My person led to
adorable banter as to my purely physical resemblancewith the
exception of his club footto Lord Byron。 It was tacitly acknowledged
that her own troubles; as to which she kept the most profound silence;
far outweighed mine; though the causes I assigned for my misanthropy
might have satisfied Young or Job。
〃I will say nothing of the feelings of shame which tormented me as I
inflicted on my heart; like the beggars in the street; false wounds to
excite the compassion of that enchanting woman。 I soon appreciated the
extent of my devotedness by learning to estimate the baseness of a
spy。 The expressions of sympathy bestowed on me would have comforted
the greatest grief。 This charming creature; weaned from the world; and
for so many years alone; having; besides love; treasures of kindliness
to bestow; offered these to me with childlike effusiveness and such
compassion as would inevitably have filled with bitterness any
profligate who should have fallen in love with her; for; alas; it was
all charity; all sheer pity。 Her renunciation of love; her dread of
what is called happiness for women; she proclaimed with equal
vehemence and candor。 These happy days proved to me that a woman's
friendship is far superior to her love。
〃I suffered the revelations of my sorrows to be dragged from me with
as many grimaces as a young lady allows herself before sitting down to
the piano; so conscious are they of the annoyance that will follow。 As
you may imagine; the necessity for overcoming my dislike to speak had
induced the Countess to strengthen the bonds of our intimacy; but she
found in me so exact a counterpart of her own antipathy to love; that
I fancied she was well content with the chance which had brought to
her desert island a sort of Man Friday。 Solitude was perhaps beginning
to weigh on her。 At the same time; there was nothing of the coquette
in her; nothing survived of the woman; she did not feel that she had a
heart; she told me; excepting in the ideal world where she found
refuge。 I involuntarily compared these two liveshers and the
Count's:his; all activity; agitation; and emotion; hers; all
inaction; quiescence; and stagnation。 The woman and the man were
admirably obedient to their nature。 My misanthropy allowed me to utter
cynical sallies against men and women both; and I indulged in them;
hoping to bring Honorine to the confidential point; but she was not to
be caught in any trap; and I began to understand that mulish obstinacy
which is commoner among women than is generally supposed。
〃 'The Orientals are right;' I said to her one evening; 'when they
shut you up and regard you merely as the playthings of their pleasure。
Europe has been well punished for having admitted you to form an
element of society and for accepting you on an equal footing。 In my
opinion; woman is the most dishonorable and cowardly being to be
found。 Nay; and that is where her charm lies。 Where would be the
pleasure of hunting a tame thing? When once a woman has inspired a
man's passion; she is to him for ever sacred; in his eyes she is
hedged round by an imprescriptible prerogative。 In men gratitude for
past delights is eternal。 Though he should find his mistress grown old
or unworthy; the woman still has rights over his heart; but to you
women the man you have loved is as nothing to you; nay; more; he is
unpardonable in one thinghe lives on! You dare not own it; but you
all have in your hearts the feeling which that popular calumny called
tradition ascribes to the Lady of the Tour de Nesle: 〃What a pity it
is that we cannot live on love as we live on fruit; and that when we
have had our fill; nothing should survive but the remembrance of
pleasure!〃 '
〃 'God has; no doubt; reserved such perfect bliss for Paradise;' said
she。 'But;' she added; 'if your argument seems to you very witty; to
me it has the disadvantage of being false。 What can those women be who
give themselves up to a succession of loves?' she asked; looking at me
as the Virgin in Ingres' picture looks at Louis XIII。 offering her his
kingdom。
〃 'You are an actress in good faith;' said I; 'for you gave me a look
just now which would make the fame of an actress。 Still; lovely as you
are; you have loved; /ergo/; you forget。'
〃 'I!' she exclaimed; evading my question; 'I am not a woman。 I am a
nun; and seventy…two years old!'
〃 'Then; how can you so positively assert that you feel more keenly
than I? Sorrow has but one form for women。 The only misfortunes they
regard are disappointments of the heart。'
〃She looked at me sweetly; and; like all women when stuck between the
issues of a dilemma; or held in the clutches of truth; she persisted;
nevertheless; in her wilfulness。
〃 'I am a nun;' she said; 'and you talk to me of the world where I
shall never again set foot。'
〃 'Not even in thought?' said I。
〃 'Is the world so much to be desired?' she replied。 'Oh! when my mind
wanders; it goes higher。 The angel of perfection; the beautiful angel
Gabriel; often sings in my heart。 If I were rich; I should work; all
the same; to keep me from soaring too often on the many…tinted wings
of the angel; and wandering in the world of fancy。 There are
meditations which are the ruin of us women! I owe much peace of mind
to my flowers; though sometimes they fail to occupy me。 On some days I
find my soul invaded by a purposeless expectancy; I cannot banish some
idea which takes possession of me; which seems to make my fingers
clumsy。 I feel that some great event is impending; that my life is
about to change; I listen vaguely; I stare into the darkness; I have
no liking for my work; and after a thousand fatigues I find life once
moreeveryday life。 Is this a warning from heaven? I ask myself'
〃After three months of this struggle between two diplomates; concealed
under the semblance of youthful melancholy; and a woman whose disgust
of life made her invulnerable; I told the Count that it was impossible
to drag this tortoise out of her shell; it must be broken。 The evening
before; in our last quite friendly discussion; the Countess had
exclaimed:
〃 'Lucretia's dagger wrote in letters of blood the watchword of
woman's charter: /Liberty!/'
〃From that moment the Count left me free to act。
〃 'I have been paid a hundred francs for the flowers and caps I made
this week!' Honorine exclaimed gleefully one Saturday evening when I
went to visit her in the little sitting…room on the ground floor;
which the unavowed proprietor had had regilt。
〃It was ten o'clock。 The twilight of July and a glorious moon lent us
their misty light。 Gusts of mingled perfumes soothed the soul; the
Countess was clinking in her hand the five gold pieces given to her by
a supposititious dealer in fashionable frippery; another of Octave's
accomplices found for him by a judge; M。 Popinot。
〃 'I earn my living by amusing myself;' said she; 'I am free; when
men; armed with their laws; have tried to make us slaves。 Oh; I have
transports of pride every Saturday! In short; I like M。 Gaudissart's
gold pieces as much as Lord Byron; your double; liked Mr。 Murray's。'
〃 'This is not becoming in a woman;' said I。
〃 'Pooh! Am I a woman? I am a boy gifted