第 5 节
作者:
僻处自说 更新:2021-02-20 14:23 字数:9322
reached me。 Finally; he would give utterance to harrowing aspirations
for happiness; and it seemed to me he ought yet to be happy; but what
was the obstacle? Was there a woman he loved? This was a question I
asked myself。 You may imagine the extent of the circles of torment
that my mind had searched before coming to so simple and so terrible a
question。 Notwithstanding his efforts; my patron did not succeed in
stifling the movements of his heart。 Under his austere manner; under
the reserve of the magistrate; a passion rebelled; though coerced with
such force that no one but I who lived with him ever guessed the
secret。 His motto seemed to be; 'I suffer; and am silent。' The escort
of respect and admiration which attended him; the friendship of
workers as valiant as himselfGrandville and Serizy; both presiding
judgeshad no hold over the Count: either he told them nothing; or
they knew all。 Impassible and lofty in public; the Count betrayed the
man only on rare intervals when; alone in his garden or his study; he
supposed himself unobserved; but then he was a child again; he gave
course to the tears hidden beneath the toga; to the excitement which;
if wrongly interpreted; might have damaged his credit for perspicacity
as a statesman。
〃When all this had become to me a matter of certainty; Comte Octave
had all the attractions of a problem; and won on my affection as much
as though he had been my own father。 Can you enter into the feeling of
curiosity; tempered by respect? What catastrophe had blasted this
learned man; who; like Pitt; had devoted himself from the age of
eighteen to the studies indispensable to power; while he had no
ambition; this judge; who thoroughly knew the law of nations;
political law; civil and criminal law; and who could find in these a
weapon against every anxiety; against every mistake; this profound
legislator; this serious writer; this pious celibate whose life
sufficiently proved that he was open to no reproach? A criminal could
not have been more hardly punished by God than was my master; sorrow
had robbed him of half his slumbers; he never slept more than four
hours。 What struggle was it that went on in the depths of these hours
apparently so calm; so studious; passing without a sound or a murmur;
during which I often detected him; when the pen had dropped from his
fingers; with his head resting on one hand; his eyes like two fixed
stars; and sometimes wet with tears? How could the waters of that
living spring flow over the burning strand without being dried up by
the subterranean fire? Was there below it; as there is under the sea;
between it and the central fires of the globe; a bed of granite? And
would the volcano burst at last?
〃Sometimes the Count would give me a look of that sagacious and keen…
eyed curiosity by which one man searches another when he desires an
accomplice; then he shunned my eye as he saw it open a mouth; so to
speak; insisting on a reply; and seeming to say; 'Speak first!' Now
and then Comte Octave's melancholy was surly and gruff。 If these
spurts of temper offended me; he could get over it without thinking of
asking my pardon; but then his manners were gracious to the point of
Christian humility。
〃When I became attached like a son to this manto me such a mystery;
but so intelligible to the outer world; to whom the epithet eccentric
is enough to account for all the enigmas of the heartI changed the
state of the house。 Neglect of his own interests was carried by the
Count to the length of folly in the management of his affairs。
Possessing an income of about a hundred and sixty thousand francs;
without including the emoluments of his appointmentsthree of which
did not come under the law against pluralityhe spent sixty thousand;
of which at least thirty thousand went to his servants。 By the end of
the first year I had got rid of all these rascals; and begged His
Excellency to use his influence in helping me to get honest servants。
By the end of the second year the Count; better fed and better served;
enjoyed the comforts of modern life; he had fine horses; supplied by a
coachman to whom I paid so much a month for each horse; his dinners on
his reception days; furnished by Chevet at a price agreed upon; did
him credit; his daily meals were prepared by an excellent cook found
by my uncle; and helped by two kitchenmaids。 The expenditure for
housekeeping; not including purchases; was no more than thirty
thousand francs a year; we had two additional men…servants; whose care
restored the poetical aspect of the house; for this old palace;
splendid even in its rust; had an air of dignity which neglect had
dishonored。
〃 'I am no longer astonished;' said he; on hearing of these results;
'at the fortunes made by servants。 In seven years I have had two
cooks; who have become rich restaurant…keepers。'
〃Early in the year 1826 the Count had; no doubt; ceased to watch me;
and we were as closely attached as two men can be when one is
subordinate to the other。 He had never spoken to me of my future
prospects; but he had taken an interest; both as a master and as a
father; in training me。 He often required me to collect materials for
his most arduous labors; I drew up some of his reports; and he
corrected them; showing the difference between his interpretation of
the law; his views and mine。 When at last I had produced a document
which he could give in as his own he was delighted; this satisfaction
was my reward; and he could see that I took it so。 This little
incident produced an extraordinary effect on a soul which seemed so
stern。 The Count pronounced sentence on me; to use a legal phrase; as
supreme and royal judge; he took my head in his hands; and kissed me
on the forehead。
〃 'Maurice;' he exclaimed; 'you are no longer my apprentice; I know
not yet what you will be to mebut if no change occurs in my life;
perhaps you will take the place of a son。'
〃Comte Octave had introduced me to the best houses in Paris; whither I
went in his stead; with his servants and carriage; on the too frequent
occasions when; on the point of starting; he changed his mind; and
sent for a hackney cab to take himWhere?that was the mystery。 By
the welcome I met with I could judge of the Count's feelings towards
me; and the earnestness of his recommendations。 He supplied all my
wants with the thoughtfulness of a father; and with all the greater
liberality because my modesty left it to him always to think of me。
Towards the end of January 1827; at the house of the Comtesse de
Serizy; I had such persistent ill…luck at play that I lost two
thousand francs; and I would not draw them out of my savings。 Next
morning I asked myself; 'Had I better ask my uncle for the money; or
put my confidence in the Count?'
〃I decided on the second alternative。
〃 'Yesterday;' said I; when he was at breakfast; 'I lost persistently
at play; I was provoked; and went on; I owe two thousand francs。 Will
you allow me to draw the sum on account of my year's salary?'
〃 'No;' said he; with the sweetest smile; 'when a man plays in
society; he must have a gambling purse。 Draw six thousand francs; pay
your debts。 Henceforth we must go halves; for since you are my
representative on most occasions; your self…respect must not be made
to suffer for it。'
〃I made no speech of thanks。 Thanks would have been superfluous
between us。 This shade shows the character of our relations。 And yet
we had not yet unlimited confidence in each other; he did not open to
me the vast subterranean chambers which I had detected in his secret
life; and I; for my part; never said to him; 'What ails you? From what
are you suffering?'
〃What could he be doing during those long evenings? He would often
come in on foot or in a hackney cab when I returned in a carriageI;
his secretary! Was so pious a man a prey to vices hidden under
hypocrisy? Did he expend all the powers of his mind to satisfy a
jealousy more dexterous than Othello's? Did he live with some woman
unworthy of him? One morning; on returning from I have forgotten what
shop; where I had just paid a bill; between the Church of Saint…Paul
and the Hotel de Ville; I came across Comte Octave in such eager
conversation with an old woman that he did not see me。 The appearance
of this hag filled me with strange suspicions; suspicions that were
all the better founded because I never found that the Count invested
his savings。 Is it not shocking to think of? I was constituting myself
my patron's censor。 At that time I knew that he had more than six
hundred thousand francs to invest; and if he had bought securities of
any kind; his confidence in me was so complete in all that concerned
his pecuniary interests; that I certainly should have known it。
〃Sometimes; in the morning; the Count took exercise in his garden; to
and fro; like a man to whom a walk is the hippogryph ridden by dreamy
melancholy。 He walked and walked! And he rubbed his hands enough to
rub the skin off。 And then; if I met him unexpectedly as he came to
the angle of a path; I saw his face beaming。 His eyes; instead of the
hardness of a turquoise; had that velvety softness of the blue
periwinkle; which had so much struc