第 44 节
作者:
打死也不说 更新:2021-02-20 14:22 字数:9321
in a few words: The parent who pays proper attention to helpless infancy has a right to require the same attention when the feebleness of age comes upon him。 But to subjugate a rational being to the mere will of another; after he is of age to answer to society for his own conduct; is a most cruel and undue stretch of power; and perhaps as injurious to morality; as those religious systems which do not allow right and wrong to have any existence; but in the Divine will。 I never knew a parent who had paid more than common attention to his children; disregarded (Dr。 Johnson makes the same observation。); on the contrary; the early habit of relying almost implicitly on the opinion of a respected parent is not easily shaken; even when matured reason convinces the child that his father is not the wisest man in the world。 This weakness; for a weakness it is; though the epithet AMIABLE may be tacked to it; a reasonable man must steel himself against; for the absurd duty; too often inculcated; of obeying a parent only on account of his being a parent; shackles the mind; and prepares it for a slavish submission to any power but reason。 I distinguish between the natural and accidental duty due to parents。 The parent who sedulously endeavours to form the heart and enlarge the understanding of his child; has given that dignity to the discharge of a duty; common to the whole animal world; that only reason can give。 This is the parental affection of humanity; and leaves instinctive natural affection far behind。 Such a parent acquires all the rights of the most sacred friendship; and his advice; even when his child is advanced in life; demands serious consideration。 With respect to marriage; though after one and twenty a parent seems to have no right to withhold his consent on any account; yet twenty years of solicitude call for a return; and the son ought; at least; to promise not to marry for two or three years; should the object of his choice not entirely meet with the approbation of his first friend。 But; respect for parents is; generally speaking; a much more debasing principle; it is only a selfish respect for property。 The father who is blindly obeyed; is obeyed from sheer weakness; or from motives that degrade the human character。 A great proportion of the misery that wanders; in hideous forms around the world; is allowed to rise from the negligence of parents; and still these are the people who are most tenacious of what they term a natural right; though it be subversive of the birth right of man; the right of acting according to the direction of his own reason。 I have already very frequently had occasion to observe; that vicious or indolent people are always eager to profit by enforcing arbitrary privileges; and generally in the same proportion as they neglect the discharge of the duties which alone render the privileges reasonable。 This is at the bottom; a dictate of common sense; or the instinct of self…defence; peculiar to ignorant weakness; resembling that instinct; which makes a fish muddy the water it swims in to elude its enemy; instead of boldly facing it in the clear stream。 》From the clear stream of argument; indeed; the supporters of prescription; of every denomination; fly: and taking refuge in the darkness; which; in the language of sublime poetry; has been supposed to surround the throne of Omnipotence; they dare to demand that implicit respect which is only due to His unsearchable ways。 But; let me not be thought presumptuous; the darkness which hides our God from us; only respects speculative truths it never obscures moral ones; they shine clearly; for God is light; and never; by the constitution of our nature; requires the discharge of a duty; the reasonableness of which does not beam on us when we open our eyes。 The indolent parent of high rank may; it is true; extort a show of respect from his child; and females on the continent are particularly subject to the views of their families; who never think of consulting their inclination; or providing for the comfort of the poor victims of their pride。 The consequence is notorious; these dutiful daughters become adulteresses; and neglect the education of their children; from whom they; in their turn; exact the same kind of obedience。 Females; it is true; in all countries; are too much under the dominion of their parents; and few parents think of addressing their children in the following manner; though it is in this reasonable way that Heaven seems to command the whole human race。 It is your interest to obey me till you can judge for yourself; and the Almighty Father of all has implanted an affection in me to serve as a guard to you whilst your reason is unfolding; but when your mind arrives at maturity; you must only obey me; or rather respect my opinions; so far as they coincide with the light that is breaking in on your own mind。 A slavish bondage to parents cramps every faculty of the mind; and Mr。 Locke very judiciously observes; that 〃if the mind be curbed and humbled too much in children; if their spirits be abased and broken much by too strict an hand over them; they lose all their vigour and industry。〃 This strict hand may; in some degree; account for the weakness of women; for girls; from various causes; are more kept down by their parents; in every sense of the word; than boys。 The duty expected from them is; like all the duties arbitrarily imposed on women; more from a sense of propriety; more out of respect for decorum; than reason; and thus taught slavishly to submit to their parents; they are prepared for the slavery of marriage。 I may be told that a number of women are not slaves in the marriage state。 True; but they then become tyrants; for it is not rational freedom; but a lawless kind of power; resembling the authority exercised by the favourites of absolute monarchs; which they obtain by debasing means。 I do not; likewise; dream of insinuating that either boys or girls are always slaves; I only insist; that when they are obliged to submit to authority blindly; their faculties are weakened; and their tempers rendered imperious or abject。 I also lament; that parents; indolently availing themselves of a supposed privilege; damp the first faint glimmering of reason rendering at the same time the duty; which they are so anxious to enforce; an empty name; because they will not let it rest on the only basis on which a duty can rest securely: for; unless it be founded on knowledge; it cannot gain sufficient strength to resist the squalls of passion; or the silent sapping of self…love。 But it is not the parents who have given the surest proof of their affection for their children; (or; to speak more properly; who by fulfilling their duty; have allowed a natural parental affection to take root in their hearts; the child of exercised sympathy and reason; and not the over…weening offspring of selfish pride;) who most vehemently insist on their children submitting to their will; merely because it is their will。 On the contrary; the parent who sets a good example; patiently lets that example work; and it seldom fails to produce its natural effectfilial respect。 Children cannot be taught too early to submit to reason; the true definition of that necessity; which Rousseau insisted on; without defining it; for to submit to reason; is to submit to the nature of things; and to that God who formed them so; to promote our real interest。 Why should the minds of children be warped as they just begin to expand; only to favour the indolence of parents; who insist on a privilege without being willing to pay the price fixed by nature? I have before had occasion to observe; that a right always includes a duty; and I think it may; likewise fairly be inferred; that they forfeit the right; who do not fulfil the duty。 It is easier; I grant; to command than reason; but it does not follow from hence; that children cannot comprehend the reason why they are made to do certain things habitually; for; from a steady adherence to a few simple principles of conduct flows that salutary power; which a judicious parent gradually gains over a child's mind。 And this power becomes strong indeed; if tempered by an even display of affection brought home to the child's heart。 For; I believe; as a general rule; it must be allowed; that the affection which we inspire always resembles that we cultivate; so that natural affections; which have been supposed almost distinct from reason; may be found more nearly connected with judgment than is commonly allowed。 Nay; as another proof of the necessity of cultivating the female understanding; it is but just to observe; that the affections seem to have a kind of animal capriciousness when they merely reside in the heart。 It is the irregular exercise of parental authority that first injures the mind; and to these irregularities girls are more subject than boys。 The will of those who never allow their will to be disputed; unless they happen to be in a good humour; when they relax proportionally; is almost always unreasonable。 To elude this arbitrary authority; girls very early learn the lessons which they afterwards practise on their husbands; for I have frequently seen a little sharp…faced miss rule a whole family; excepting that now and then mamma's