第 90 节
作者:
旅游巴士 更新:2021-02-20 14:20 字数:9320
had been going through the waters of misery; and the Lord had turned
them to a well。
〃'Oh yes; Susan;' said she; 'be sure it is so。 Whom the Lord loveth
he chasteneth; Susan;' and here she began to cry again。 'As for
him;' she went on; 'he has made his bed; and he must lie on it; when
he comes out of prison his pa will know what is best to be done; and
Master Ernest may be thankful that he has a pa so good and so long…
suffering。'
〃Then when you would not see them; that was a cruel blow to your ma。
Your pa did not say anything; you know your pa never does say very
much unless he's downright waxy for the time; but your ma took on
dreadful for a few days; and I never saw the master look so black;
but; bless you; it all went off in a few days; and I don't know that
there's been much difference in either of them since then; not till
your ma was took ill。〃
On the night of his arrival he had behaved well at family prayers;
as also on the following morning; his father read about David's
dying injunctions to Solomon in the matter of Shimei; but he did not
mind it。 In the course of the day; however; his corns had been
trodden on so many times that he was in a misbehaving humour; on
this the second night after his arrival。 He knelt next Charlotte
and said the responses perfunctorily; not so perfunctorily that she
should know for certain that he was doing it maliciously; but so
perfunctorily as to make her uncertain whether he might be malicious
or not; and when he had to pray to be made truly honest and
conscientious he emphasised the 〃truly。〃 I do not know whether
Charlotte noticed anything; but she knelt at some distance from him
during the rest of his stay。 He assures me that this was the only
spiteful thing he did during the whole time he was at Battersby。
When he went up to his bedroom; in which; to do them justice; they
had given him a fire; he noticed what indeed he had noticed as soon
as he was shown into it on his arrival; that there was an
illuminated card framed and glazed over his bed with the words; 〃Be
the day weary or be the day long; at last it ringeth to evensong。〃
He wondered to himself how such people could leave such a card in a
room in which their visitors would have to spend the last hours of
their evening; but he let it alone。 〃There's not enough difference
between 'weary' and 'long' to warrant an 'or;'〃 he said; 〃but I
suppose it is all right。〃 I believe Christina had bought the card
at a bazaar in aid of the restoration of a neighbouring church; and
having been bought it had got to be usedbesides; the sentiment was
so touching and the illumination was really lovely。 Anyhow; no
irony could be more complete than leaving it in my hero's bedroom;
though assuredly no irony had been intended。
On the third day after Ernest's arrival Christina relapsed again。
For the last two days she had been in no pain and had slept a good
deal; her son's presence still seemed to cheer her; and she often
said how thankful she was to be surrounded on her death…bed by a
family so happy; so God…fearing; so united; but now she began to
wander; and; being more sensible of the approach of death; seemed
also more alarmed at the thoughts of the Day of Judgment。
She ventured more than once or twice to return to the subject of her
sins; and implored Theobald to make quite sure that they were
forgiven her。 She hinted that she considered his professional
reputation was at stake; it would never do for his own wife to fail
in securing at any rate a pass。 This was touching Theobald on a
tender spot; he winced and rejoined with an impatient toss of the
head; 〃But; Christina; they ARE forgiven you〃; and then he
entrenched himself in a firm but dignified manner behind the Lord's
prayer。 When he rose he left the room; but called Ernest out to say
that he could not wish it prolonged。
Joey was no more use in quieting his mother's anxiety than Theobald
had beenindeed he was only Theobald and water; at last Ernest; who
had not liked interfering; took the matter in hand; and; sitting
beside her; let her pour out her grief to him without let or
hindrance。
She said she knew she had not given up all for Christ's sake; it was
this that weighed upon her。 She had given up much; and had always
tried to give up more year by year; still she knew very well that
she had not been so spiritually minded as she ought to have been。
If she had; she should probably have been favoured with some direct
vision or communication; whereas; though God had vouchsafed such
direct and visible angelic visits to one of her dear children; yet
she had had none such herselfnor even had Theobald。
She was talking rather to herself than to Ernest as she said these
words; but they made him open his ears。 He wanted to know whether
the angel had appeared to Joey or to Charlotte。 He asked his
mother; but she seemed surprised; as though she expected him to know
all about it; then; as if she remembered; she checked herself and
said; 〃Ah! yesyou know nothing of all this; and perhaps it is as
well。〃 Ernest could not of course press the subject; so he never
found out which of his near relations it was who had had direct
communication with an immortal。 The others never said anything to
him about it; though whether this was because they were ashamed; or
because they feared he would not believe the story and thus increase
his own damnation; he could not determine。
Ernest has often thought about this since。 He tried to get the
facts out of Susan; who he was sure would know; but Charlotte had
been beforehand with him。 〃No; Master Ernest;〃 said Susan; when he
began to question her; 〃your ma has sent a message to me by Miss
Charlotte as I am not to say nothing at all about it; and I never
will。〃 Of course no further questioning was possible。 It had more
than once occurred to Ernest that Charlotte did not in reality
believe more than he did himself; and this incident went far to
strengthen his surmises; but he wavered when he remembered how she
had misdirected the letter asking for the prayers of the
congregation。 I suppose;〃 he said to himself gloomily; 〃she does
believe in it after all。〃
Then Christina returned to the subject of her own want of spiritual…
mindedness; she even harped upon the old grievance of her having
eaten black puddingstrue; she had given them up years ago; but for
how many years had she not persevered in eating them after she had
had misgivings about their having been forbidden! Then there was
something that weighed on her mind that had taken place before her
marriage; and she should like …
Ernest interrupted: 〃My dear mother;〃 he said; 〃you are ill and
your mind is unstrung; others can now judge better about you than
you can; I assure you that to me you seem to have been the most
devotedly unselfish wife and mother that ever lived。 Even if you
have not literally given up all for Christ's sake; you have done so
practically as far as it was in your power; and more than this is
not required of anyone。 I believe you will not only be a saint; but
a very distinguished one。〃
At these words Christina brightened。 〃You give me hope; you give me
hope;〃 she cried; and dried her eyes。 She made him assure her over
and over again that this was his solemn conviction; she did not care
about being a distinguished saint now; she would be quite content to
be among the meanest who actually got into heaven; provided she
could make sure of escaping that awful Hell。 The fear of this
evidently was omnipresent with her; and in spite of all Ernest could
say he did not quite dispel it。 She was rather ungrateful; I must
confess; for after more than an hour's consolation from Ernest she
prayed for him that he might have every blessing in this world;
inasmuch as she always feared that he was the only one of her
children whom she should never meet in heaven; but she was then
wandering; and was hardly aware of his presence; her mind in fact
was reverting to states in which it had been before her illness。
On Sunday Ernest went to church as a matter of course; and noted
that the ever receding tide of Evangelicalism had ebbed many a stage
lower; even during the few years of his absence。 His father used to
walk to the church through the Rectory garden; and across a small
intervening field。 He had been used to walk in a tall hat; his
Master's gown; and wearing a pair of Geneva bands。 Ernest noticed
that the bands were worn no longer; and lo! greater marvel still;
Theobald did not preach in his Master's gown; but in a surplice。
The whole character of the service was changed; you could not say it
was high even now; for high…church Theobald could never under any
circumstances become; but the old easy…going slovenliness; if I may
say so; was gone for ever。 The orchestral accompaniments to the
hymns had disappeared while my hero was yet a boy; but there had
been no chanting for some years after the harmonium had been
introduced。 While Ernest was at Cambridge; Charlotte and Christina
had prevailed on Theobald to allow the canticles to be sung; and
sung they were to old…fashioned double chants by Lord Mornington and
Dr Dupuis and others。