第 32 节
作者:向前      更新:2021-02-20 05:46      字数:9322
  f much which that strife had laid low At his feet; as he rose at the name of his wife; Lay in ruins the brilliant unrealized life Which; though yet unfulfill'd; seem'd till then; in that name; To be his; had he claim'd it。  The man's dream of fame And of power fell shatter'd before him; and only There rested the heart of the woman; so lonely In all save the love he could give her。  The lord Of that heart he arose。  Blush not; Muse; to record That his first thought; and last; at that moment was not Of the power and fame that seem'd lost to his lot; But the love that was left to it; not of the pelf He had cared for; yet squander'd; and not of himself; But of her; as he murmur'd;                              〃One moment; dear jack! We have grown up from boyhood together。  Our track Has been through the same meadows in childhood: in youth Through the same silent gateways; to manhood。  In truth; There is none that can know me as you do; and none To whom I more wish to believe myself known。 Speak the truth; you are not wont to mince it; I know。 Nor I; shall I shirk it; or shrink from it now。 In despite of a wanton behavior; in spite Of vanity; folly; and pride; Jack; which might Have turn'd from me many a heart strong and true As your own; I have never turn'd round and miss'd YOU From my side in one hour of affliction or doubt By my own blind and heedless self…will brought about。 Tell me truth。  Do I owe this alone to the sake Of those old recollections of boyhood that make In your heart yet some clinging and crying appeal From a judgment more harsh; which I cannot but feel Might have sentenced our friendship to death long ago? Or is it 。 。 。 (I would I could deem it were so!) That; not all overlaid by a listless exterior; Your heart has divined in me something superior To that which I seem; from my innermost nature Not wholly expell'd by the world's usurpature? Some instinct of earnestness; truth; or desire For truth?  Some one spark of the soul's native fire Moving under the ashes; and cinders; and dust Which life hath heap'd o'er it?  Some one fact to trust And to hope in?  Or by you alone am I deem'd The mere frivolous fool I so often have seem'd To my own self?〃
  JOHN。
  No; Alfred! you will; I believe; Be true; at the last; to what now makes you grieve For having belied your true nature so long。 Necessity is a stern teacher。  Be strong!
  〃Do you think;〃 he resumed; 。 。 。 〃what I feel while I speak Is no more than a transient emotion; as weak As these weak tears would seem to betoken it?〃
  JOHN。
  No!
  ALFRED。
  Thank you; cousin! your hand then。  And now I will go Alone; Jack。  Trust to me。
  VIII。
  JOHN。
  I do。  But 'tis late。 If she sleeps; you'll not wake her?
  ALFRED。
  No; no! it will wait (Poor infant!) too surely; this mission of sorrow; If she sleeps; I will not mar her dreams of tomorrow。 He open'd the door; and pass'd out。                                      Cousin John Watch'd him wistful; and left him to seek her alone。
  IX。
  His heart beat so loud when he knock'd at her door; He could hear no reply from within。  Yet once more He knock'd lightly。  No answer。  The handle he tried: The door open'd: he enter'd the room undescried。
  X。
  No brighter than is that dim circlet of light Which enhaloes the moon when rains form on the night; The pale lamp an indistinct radiance shed Round the chamber; in which at her pure snowy bed Matilda was kneeling; so wrapt in deep prayer That she knew not her husband stood watching her there。 With the lamplight the moonlight had mingled a faint And unearthly effulgence which seem'd to acquaint The whole place with a sense of deep peace made secure By the presence of something angelic and pure。 And not purer some angel Grief carves o'er the tomb Where Love lies; than the lady that kneel'd in that gloom。 She had put off her dress; and she look'd to his eyes Like a young soul escaped from its earthly disguise; Her fair neck and innocent shoulders were bare; And over them rippled her soft golden hair; Her simple and slender white bodice unlaced Confined not one curve of her delicate waist。 As the light that; from water reflected; forever; Trembles up through the tremulous reeds of a river; So the beam of her beauty went trembling in him; Through the thoughts it suffused with a sense soft and dim。 Reproducing itself in the broken and bright Lapse and pulse of a million emotions。                                         That sight Bow'd his heart; bow'd his knee。  Knowing scarce what he did; To her side through the chamber he silently slid; And knelt down beside herand pray'd at her side。
  XI。
  Upstarting; she then for the first time descried That her husband was near her; suffused with the blush Which came o'er her soft pallid cheek with a gush Where the tears sparkled yet。                                As a young fawn uncouches; Shy with fear from the fern where some hunter approaches; She shrank back; he caught her; and circling his arm Round her waist; on her brow press'd one kiss long and warm。 Then her fear changed in impulse; and hiding her face On his breast; she hung lock'd in a clinging embrace With her soft arms wound heavily round him; as though She fear'd; if their clasp was relaxed; he would go: Her smooth; naked shoulders; uncared for; convulsed By sob after sob; while her bosom yet pulsed In its pressure on his; as the effort within it Lived and died with each tender tumultuous minute。 〃O Alfred; O Alfred! forgive me;〃 she cried 〃Forgive me!〃                〃Forgive you; my poor child!〃 he sigh'd; 〃But I never have blamed you for aught that I know; And I have not one thought that reproaches you now。〃 From her arms he unwound himself gently。  And so He forced her down softly beside him。  Below The canopy shading their couch; they sat down。 And he said; clasping firmly her hand in his own; 〃When a proud man; Matilda; has found out at length; That he is but a child in the midst of his strength; But a fool in his wisdom; to whom can he own The weakness which thus to himself hath been shown? From whom seek the strength which his need of is sore; Although in his pride he might perish; before He could plead for the one; or the other avow 'Mid his intimate friends?  Wife of mine; tell me now; Do you join me in feeling; in that darken'd hour; The sole friend that CAN have the right or the power To be at his side; is the woman that shares His fate; if he falter; the woman that bears The name dear for HER sake; and hallows the life She has mingled her own with;in short; that man's wife?〃 〃Yes;〃 murmur'd Matilda; 〃O yes!〃                                    〃Then;〃 he cried; 〃This chamber in which we two sit; side by side; (And his arm; as he spoke; seem'd more softly to press her); Is now a confessionalyou; my confessor!〃 〃I?〃 she falter'd; and timidly lifted her head。 〃Yes! but first answer one other question;〃 he said: 〃When a woman once feels that she is not alone: That the heart of another is warm'd by her own; That another feels with her whatever she feel And halves her existence in woe or in weal; That a man; for her sake; will; so long as he lives; Live to put forth the strength which the thought of her gives; Live to shield her from want; and to share with her sorrow; Live to solace the day; and provide for the morrow: Will that woman feel less than another; O say; The loss of what life; sparing this; takes away? Will she feel (feeling this); when calamities come; That they brighten the heart; though they darken the home?〃 She turn'd; like a soft rainy heav'n; on him Eyes that smiled through fresh tears; trustful; tender; and dim。 〃That woman;〃 she murmur'd; 〃indeed were thrice blest!〃 〃Then courage; true wife of my heart!〃 to his breast As he folded and gather'd her closely; he cried。 〃For the refuge; to…night in these arms open'd wide To your heart; can be never closed to it again; And this room is for both an asylum!  For when I pass'd through that door; at the door I left there A calamity sudden and heavy to bear。 One step from that threshold; and daily; I fear; We must face it henceforth; but it enters not here; For that door shuts it out; and admits here alone A heart which calamity leaves all your own!〃 She started 。 。 。 〃Calamity; Alfred; to you?〃 〃To both; my poor child; but 'twill bring with it too The courage; I trust; to subdue it。〃                                       〃O speak! Speak!〃 she falter'd in tones timid; anxious; and weak。 〃O yet for a moment;〃 he said; 〃hear me on! Matilda; this morn we went forth in the sun; Like those children of sunshine; the bright summer flies; That sport in the sunbeam; and play through the skies While the skies smile; and heed not each other: at last; When their sunbeam is gone; and their sky overcast; Who recks in what ruin they fold their wet wings? So indeed the morn found us;poor frivolous things! Now our sky is o'ercast; and our sunbeam is set; And the night brings its darkness around us。  Oh yet Have we weather'd no storm through those twelve cloudless hours? Yes; you; too; have wept!                            〃While the world was yet ours; While its sun was upo