第 10 节
作者:中国必胜      更新:2021-02-20 05:34      字数:9322
  Potomac; the ship being bound thither; and there we intended
  to have settled first; though afterwards we altered our minds。
  The first thing I did of moment after having gotten all our
  goods on shore; and placed them in a storehouse; or warehouse;
  which; with a lodging; we hired at the small place or village
  where we landedI say; the first thing was to inquire after my
  mother; and after my brother (that fatal person whom I married
  as a husband; as I have related at large)。  A little inquiry
  furnished me with information that Mrs。; that is; my mother;
  was dead; that my brother (or husband) was alive; which I
  confess I was not very glad to hear; but which was worse; I
  found he was removed from the plantation where he lived
  formerly; and where I lived with him; and lived with one of
  his sons in a plantation just by the place where we landed;
  and where we had hired a warehouse。
  I was a little surprised at first; but as I ventured to satisfy
  myself that he could not know me; I was not only perfectly
  easy; but had a great mind to see him; if it was possible to so
  do without his seeing me。  In order to that I found out by
  inquiry the plantation where he lived; and with a woman of
  that place whom I got to help me; like what we call a chairwoman;
  I rambled about towards the place as if I had only a mind to
  see the country and look about me。  At last I came so near that
  I saw the dwellinghouse。  I asked the woman whose plantation
  that was; she said it belonged to such a man; and looking out
  a little to our right hands; 'there;' says she; is the gentleman
  that owns the plantation; and his father with him。'  'What are
  their Christian names?' said I。  'I know not;' says she; 'what
  the old gentleman's name is; but the son's name is Humphrey;
  and I believe;' says she; 'the father's is so too。'  You may
  guess; if you can; what a confused mixture of joy and fight
  possessed my thoughts upon this occasion; for I immediately
  knew that this was nobody else but my own son; by that father
  she showed me; who was my own brother。  I had no mask;
  but I ruffled my hood so about my face; that I depended upon
  it that after above twenty years' absence; and withal not
  expecting anything of me in that part of the world; he would
  not be able to know anything of me。  But I need not have used
  all that caution; for the old gentleman was grown dim…sighted
  by some distemper which had fallen upon his eyes; and could
  but just see well enough to walk about; and not run against a
  tree or into a ditch。  The woman that was with me had told me
  that by a mere accident; knowing nothing of what importance
  it was to me。  As they drew near to us; I said; 'Does he know
  you; Mrs。 Owen?' (so they called the woman)。  'Yes;' said
  she; 'if he hears me speak; he will know me; but he can't see
  well enough to know me or anybody else'; and so she told me
  the story of his sight; as I have related。  This made me secure;
  and so I threw open my hoods again; and let them pass by me。
  It was a wretched thing for a mother thus to see her own son;
  a handsome; comely young gentleman in flourishing
  circumstances; and durst not make herself known to him; and
  durst not take any notice of him。  Let any mother of children
  that reads this consider it; and but think with what anguish of
  mind I restrained myself; what yearnings of soul I had in me
  to embrace him; and weep over him; and how I thought all my
  entrails turned within me; that my very bowels moved; and I
  knew not what to do; as I now know not how to express those
  agonies!  When he went from me I stood gazing and trembling;
  and looking after him as long as I could see him; then sitting
  down to rest me; but turned from her; and lying on my face;
  wept; and kissed the ground that he had set his foot on。
  I could not conceal my disorder so much from the woman but
  that she perceived it; and thought I was not well; which I was
  obliged to pretend was true; upon which she pressed me to rise;
  the ground being damp and dangerous; which I did accordingly;
  and walked away。
  As I was going back again; and still talking of this gentleman
  and his son; a new occasion of melancholy offered itself thus。
  The woman began; as if she would tell me a story to divert me:
  'There goes;' says she; 'a very odd tale among the neighbours
  where this gentleman formerly live。'  'What was that?' said
  I。  'Why;' says she; 'that old gentleman going to England;
  when he was a young man; fell in love with a young lady there;
  one of the finest women that ever was seen; and married her;
  and brought her over hither to his mother who was then living。
  He liver here several years with her;' continued she; 'and had
  several children by her; of which the young gentleman that was
  with him now was one; but after some time; the old gentlewoman;
  his mother; talking to her of something relating to herself when
  she was in England; and of her circumstances in England;
  which were bad enough; the daughter…in…law began to be very
  much surprised and uneasy; and; in short; examining further
  into things; it appeared past all contradiction that the old
  gentlewoman was her own mother; and that consequently that
  son was his wife's own brother; which struck the whole family
  with horror; and put them into such confusion that it had almost
  ruined them all。  The young woman would not live with him;
  the son; her brother and husband; for a time went distracted;
  and at last the young woman went away for England; and has
  never been hears of since。'
  It is easy to believe that I was strangely affected with this story;
  but 'tis impossible to describe the nature of my disturbance。  I
  seemed astonished at the story; and asked her a thousand
  questions about the particulars; which I found she was
  thoroughly acquainted with。  At last I began to inquire into the
  circumstances of the family; how the old gentlewoman; I mean
  my mother; died; and how she left what she had; for my mother
  had promised me very solemnly; that when she died she would
  do something for me; and leave it so; as that; if I was living; I
  should one way or other come at it; without its being in the
  power of her son; my brother and husband; to prevent it。  She
  told me she did not know exactly how it was ordered; but she
  had been told that my mother had left a sum of money; and
  had tied her plantation for the payment of it; to be made good
  to the daughter; if ever she could be heard of; either in England
  or elsewhere; and that the trust was left with this son; who was
  the person that we saw with his father。
  This was news too good for me to make light of; and; you
  may be sure; filled my heart with a thousand thoughts; what
  courseI should take; how; and when; and in what manner I
  should make myself known; or whether I should ever make
  myself know or no。
  Here was a perplexity that I had not indeed skill to manage
  myself in; neither knew I what course to take。  It lay heavy
  upon my mind night and day。  I could neither sleep nor
  converse; sothat my husband perceived it; and wondered what
  ailed me; strove to divert me; but it was all to no purpose。  He
  pressed me to tell him what it was troubled me; but I put it off;
  till at last; importuning me continually; I was forced to form
  a story; which yet had a plain truth to lay it upon too。  It old
  him I was troubled because I found we must shift our quarters
  and alter our scheme of settling; for that I found I should be
  known if I stayed in that part of the country; for that my mother
  being dead; several of my relations were come into that part
  where we then was; and that I must either discover myself to
  them; which in our present circumstances was not proper on
  many accounts; or remove; and which to do I knew not; and
  that this it was that made me so melancholy and so thoughtful。
  He joined with me in this; that it was by no means proper for
  me to make myself known to anybody in the circumstances
  inwhich we then were; and therefore he told me he would be
  willing to remove to any other part of the country; or even to
  any other country if I thought fit。  But now I had another
  difficulty;which was; that if I removed to any other colony; I
  put myself out of the way of ever making a due search after
  those effects which my mother had left。  Again I could never
  so much as think of breaking the secret of my former marriage
  to my new husband; it was not a story; as I thought; that would
  bear telling; nor could I tell what might be the consequences
  of it; and it was impossible to search into the bottom of the
  thing without making it public all over the country; as well
  who I was; as what I now was also。
  In this perplexity I continued a great while; and this made my
  spouse very uneasy; for he found me perplexed; and yet thought
  I was not open wit