第 9 节
作者:热带雨淋      更新:2021-02-20 05:18      字数:9322
  flowed calm and silent by a thousand doors; rippling only where
  the stream chafed against a chain。 Red pennants drooped; gilded
  vanes gleamed on polished masts; black…pitched hulls glistened
  like a black rook's feathers in sunlight; the clear air cut out
  the forward angles of the warehouses; the shadowed wharves were
  quiet in shadows that carried light; far down the ships that
  were hauling out moved in repose; and with the stream floated
  away into the summer mist。 There was a faint blue colour in the
  air hovering between the built…up banks; against the lit walls;
  in the hollows of the houses。 The swallows wheeled and climbed; twittered
  and glided downwards。  Burning on; the great sun stood in the sky; heating
  the parapet; glowing steadfastly upon me as when I rested in the narrow
  valley grooved out in prehistoric
  times。 Burning on steadfast; and ever present as my thought。
  Lighting the broad river; the broad walls; lighting the least speck of dust;
  lighting the great heaven; gleaming on my
  finger…nail。 The fixed point of daythe sun。 I was intensely
  conscious of it; I felt it; I felt the presence of the immense
  powers of the universe; I felt out into the depths of the ether。 So
  intensely conscious of the sun; the sky; the limitless space; I felt too in
  the midst of eternity then; in the midst of the supernatural; among the
  immortal; and the greatness of the material realised the spirit。  By these I
  saw my soul; by these I knew the supernatural to be more intensely real than
  the sun。 I touched the supernatural; the immortal; there that moment。
  When; weary of walking on the pavements; I went to rest in the
  National Gallery; I sat and rested before one or other of the
  human pictures。 I am not a picture lover: they are flat surfaces; but those
  that I call human are nevertheless
  beautiful。 The knee in Daphnis and Chloe and the breast are
  like living things; they draw the heart towards them; the heart
  must love them。 I lived in looking; without beauty there is no
  life for me; the divine beauty of flesh is life itself to me。
  The shoulder in the Surprise; the rounded rise of the bust; the
  exquisite tints of the ripe skin; momentarily gratified the sea…
  thirst in me。 For I thirst with all the thirst of the salt sea;
  and the sun…heated sands dry for the tide; with all the sea I
  thirst for beauty。 And I know full well that one lifetime;
  however long; cannot fill my heart。 My throat and tongue and
  whole body have often been parched and feverish dry with
  this measureless thirst; and again moist to the fingers' ends
  like a sappy bough。 It burns in me as the sun burns in the
  sky。
  The glowing face of Cytherea in Titian's Venus and Adonis; the
  heated cheek; the lips that kiss each eye that gazes on them;
  the desiring glance; the golden hairsunbeams moulded into
  featuresthis face answered me。 Juno's wide back and mesial
  groove; is any thing so lovely as the back ? Cythereals poised
  hips unveiled for judgment; these called up the same thirst I
  felt on the green sward in the sun; on the wild beach listening
  to the quiet sob as the summer wave drank at the land。 I will
  search the world through for beauty。 I came here and sat to
  rest before these in the days when I could not afford to buy so
  much as a glass of ale; weary and faint from walking on stone
  pavements。 I came later on; in better times; often straight
  from labours which though necessary will ever be distasteful; always to rest
  my heart with loveliness。 I go still; the divine beauty of flesh is life
  itself to me。 It was; and is; one of my London pilgrimages。
  Another was to the Greek sculpture galleries in the British
  Museum。 The statues are not; it is said; the best; broken too; and
  mutilated; and seen in a dull; commonplace light。 But they were
  shapedivine shape of man and woman; the form of limb and torso; of bust
  and neck; gave me a sighing sense of rest。 These were they who would have
  stayed with me under the shadow of the
  oaks while the blackbirds fluted and the south air swung the
  cowslips。 They would have walked with me among the reddened
  gold of the wheat。 They would have rested with me on the hill…tops and in
  the narrow valley grooved of ancient times。 They would have listened with me
  to the sob of the summer sea drinking theland。 These had thirsted of sun;
  and earth;
  and sea; and sky。 Their shape spoke this thirst and desire like
  mineif I had lived with them from Greece till now
  I should not have had enough of them。 Tracing the form of limb and torso
  with the eye gave me a sense of rest。
  Sometimes I came in from the crowded streets and ceaseless hum;
  one glance at these shapes and I became myself。 Sometimes I came from the
  Reading…room; where under the dome I often looked up from the desk and
  realised the crushing hopelessness of books; useless; not equal to one
  bubble borne along on the running brook I had walked by; giving no thought
  like the spring when I lifted the water in my hand and saw the light gleam
  on it。 Torso and limb; bust and neck instantly returned me to myself; I felt
  as I did lying on the turf listening to the wind among the grass; it would
  have seemed natural to have found butterflies fluttering among he statues。
  The same deep desire was with me。 I shall always go to speak to them; they
  are a place of pilgrimage; wherever there is a beautiful statue there is a
  place of pilgrimage。
  I always stepped aside; too; to look awhile at the head of
  Julius Caesar。 The domes of the swelling temples of his broad
  head are full of mind; evident to the eye as a globe is full of
  substance to the sense of feeling in the hands that hold it。
  The thin worn cheek is entirely human; endless difficulties
  surmounted by endless labour are marked in it; as the sandblast;
  by dint of particles ceaselessly driven; carves the hardest
  material。 If circumstances favoured him he made those
  circumstances his own by marvellous labour; so as justly to
  receive the credit of chance。 Therefore the thin cheek is entirely
  humanthe sum of human life made visible in one
  facelabour; and endurance; and mind; and all in vain。 A
  shadowof deep sadness has gathered on it in the years that
  have passed; because endurance was without avail。 It is sadder
  to look at than the grass…grown tumulus I used to sit by;
  because it is a personality; and also on account of the extreme
  folly of our human race ever destroying our greatest。
  Far better had they endeavoured; however hopelessly; to keep him
  living till this day。 Did but the race this hour possess one…
  hundredth part of his breadth of view; how happy for them! Of
  whom else can it be said that he had no enemies to forgive
  because he recognised no enemy? Nineteen hundred years ago he
  put in actual practice; with more arbitrary power than any
  despot; those very principles of humanity which are now put
  forward as the highest culture。 But he made them to be actual things under
  his sway。
  The one man filled with mind; the one man without avarice;
  anger; pettiness; littleness; the one man generous and truly
  great of all history。 It is enough to make one despair to think
  of the mere brutes butting to death the great…minded Caesar。 He
  comes nearest to the ideal of a design…power arranging the
  affairs of the world for good in practical things。 Before his
  facethe divine brow of mind above; the human suffering…drawn
  cheek beneathmy own thought became set and strengthened。 That
  I could but look at things in the broad way he did; that I
  could not possess one particle of such width of intellect to
  guide my own course; to cope with and drag forth from the iron…
  resisting forces of the universe some one thing of my prayer for
  the soul and for the flesh。
  CHAPTER VI
  THERE is a place in front of the Royal Exchange where the wide
  pavement reaches out like a promontory。 It is in the shape of a
  triangle with a rounded apex。 A stream of traffic runs on either side; and
  other streets send their currents down into the
  open space before it。 Like the spokes of a wheel converging
  streams of human life flow into this agitated pool。 Horses and carriages;
  carts; vans; omnibuses; cabs; every kind of conveyance cross each other's
  course in every possible direction。 Twisting in and out by the wheels and
  under the horses' heads; working a devious way; men and women of
  all conditions wind a path over。 They fill the interstices
  between the carriages and blacken the surface; till the
  vans almost float on human beings。  Now the streams slacken; and now they
  rush amain; but never cease; dark waves are always rolling down the incline
  opposite; waves swell out from the side rivers; all London converges into
  this focus。 There is an indistinguishable noiseit is not clatter; hum; or
  roar; it is not resolvable; made up of a thousand thousand footsteps; from a
  thousand hoofs; a thousand wheelsof haste; and shuffle; and quick
  movements; and ponderous loads; no attention can resolve it into a fixed
  sound。
  Blue carts and yellow omnibuses; varnished carriages and brown
  vans; green omnibuses and red cabs; pale loads of yellow straw;
  rusty…red iron cluking on pointless carts; high white wool…
  packs; grey horses; bay horses; black teams; sunlight sparkling
  on brass ha