mind　because　they　exhibit　an　absence　of　design。　　There　is　no
  idea　in　them。
  They　have　no　shape；　form；　grace；　or　purpose；　they　call　up　a　vague　sense　of
  chaos；　chaos　which　the　mind　revolts　from。　It
  would　be　a　relief　to　the　thought　if　they　ceased　to　be；　and
  utterly　disappeared　from　the　sea。　They　are　not　inimical　of
  intent　towards　man；　not　even　the　shark；　but　there　the　shark　is；
  and　that　is　enough。　These　miserably　hideous　things　of　the　sea
  are　not　anti…human　in　the　sense　of　persecution；　they　are　outside；　they　are
  ultra　and　beyond。　It　is　like　looking　into
  chaos；　and　it　is　vivid　because　these　creatures；　interred　alive　a
  hundred　fathoms　deep；　are　seldom　seen；　so　that　the　mind　sees
  them　as　if　only　that　moment　they　had　come　into　existence。　Use
  has　not　habituated　it　to　them；　so　that　their　anti…human　character　is　at　once
  apparent；　and　stares　at　us　with　glassy　eye。
  But　it　is　the　same　in　reality　with　the　creatures　on　the　earth。
  There　are　some　of　these　even　now　to　which　use　has　not　accus…
  tomed　the　mind。　Such；　for　instance；　as　the　toad。　At　its
  shapeless　shape　appearing　in　an　unexpected　corner　many　people
  start　and　exclaim。　They　are　aware　that　they　shall　receive　no
  injury　from　it；　yet　it　affrights　them；　it　sends　a　shock　to　the
  mind。　The　reason　lies　in　its　obviously　anti…human　character。
  All　the　designless；　formless　chaos　of　chance…directed　matter；
  without　idea　or　human　plan；　squats　there　embodied　in　the
  pathway。　By　watching　the　creature；　and　convincing　the　mind
  from　observation　that　it　is　harmless；　and　even　has　uses；　the
  horror　wears　away。　But　still　remains　the　form　to　which　the
  mind　can　never　reconcile　itself。　Carved　in　wood　it　is　still
  repellent。
  Or　suddenly　there　is　a　rustle　like　a　faint　hiss　in　the　grass；
  and　a　green　snake　glides　over　the　bank。　The　breath　in　the
  chest　seems　to　lose　its　vitality；　for　an　instant　the　nerves
  refuse　to　transmit　the　force　of　life。　The　gliding　yellow…streaked　worm　is　so
  utterly　opposed　to　the　ever　present　Idea　in　the　mind。　Custom　may　reduce　the
  horror；　but　no　long　pondering　can　ever　bring　that　creature　within　the　pale
  of　the　human　Idea。　These　are　so　distinctly　opposite　and　anti…human　that
  thousands　of　years　have　not　sufficed　to　soften　their　outline。　Various
  insects　and　creeping　creatures　excite　the　same　sense　in　lesser　degrees。
  Animals　and　birds　in　general　do　not。　The　tiger　is　dreaded；　but　causes　no
  disgust。　The　exception　is　in　those　that　feed　on　offal。　Horses　and　dogs　we
  love；　we　not　only　do　not　recognise　anything　opposite　in　them；　we　come　to
  love　them。
  They　are　useful　to　us；　they　show　more　or　less　sympathy　with　us；
  they　possess；　especially　the　horse；　a　certain　grace　of　movement。
  A　gloss；　as　it　were；　is　thrown　over　them　by　these　attributes　and
  by　familiarity。　The　shape　of　the　horse　to　the　eye　has　become
  conventional：　it　is　accepted。　Yet　the　horse　is　not　in　any
  sense　human。　Could　we　look　at　it　suddenly；　without　previous
  acquaintance；　as　at　strange　fishes　in　a　tank；　the　ultra…human
  character　of　the　horse　would　be　apparent。　It　is　the　curves　of
  the　neck　and　body　that　carry　the　horse　past　without　adverse
  comment。　Examine　the　hind　legs　in　detail；　and　the　curious
  backward　motion；　the　shape　and　anti…human　curves　become　apparent。
  Dogs　take　us　by　their　intelligence；　but　they　have　no　hand；　pass
  the　hand　over　the　dog's　head；　and　the　shape　of　the　skull　to　the
  sense　of　feeling　is　almost　as　repellent　as　the　form　of　the　toad
  to　the　sense　of　sight。　We　have　gradually　gathered　around　us　all
  the　creatures　that　are　less　markedly　anti…human；　horses　and　dogs
  and　birds；　but　they　are　still　themselves。　They　originally
  existed　like　the　wheat；　for　themselves；　we　utilise　them；　but　they　are　not　of
  us。
  There　is　nothing　human　in　any　living　animal。　All　nature；　the　universe　as　far
  as　we　see；　is　anti…　or　ultra…human；　outside；　and　has　no　concern　with　man。
  These　things　are　unnatural　to　him。　By　no　course　of　reasoning；　however
  tortuous；　can　nature　and　the　universe　be　fitted　to　the　mind。　　Nor　can　the
  mind　be　fitted　to　the　cosmos。　My　mind　cannot　be　twisted　to　it；　I　am　separate
  altogether　from　these　designless　things。　The　soul　cannot　be　wrested　down　to
  them。　The　laws　of　nature　are　of　no　importance　to　it。　I　refuse　to　be　bound　by
  the　laws　of　the　tides；　nor　am　I　so　bound。　Though　bodily　swung　round　on　this
  rotating　globe；　my　mind　always　remains　in　the　centre。　　No　tidal　law；　no
  rotation；　no　gravitation　can　control　my　thought。
  Centuries　of　thought　have　failed　to　reconcile　and　fit　the　mind
  to　the　universe；　which　is　designless；　and　purposeless；　and
  without　idea。　I　will　not　endeavour　to　fit　my　thought　to　it　any　longer；　I
  find　and　believe　myself　to　be　distinctseparate；　and　I　will　labour　in
  earnest　to　obtain　the　highest　culture　for　myself。　　As　these　natural　things
  have　no　connection　with　man；　it　follows　again　that　the　natural　is　the
  strange　and　mysterious；　and　the　supernatural　the　natural。
  There　being　nothing　human　in　nature　or　the　universe；　and　all
  things　being　ultra…human　and　without　design；　shape；　or　purpose；
  I　conclude　that；　no　deity　has　anything　to　do　with　nature。
  There　is　no　god　in　nature；　nor　in　any　matter　anywhere；　either
  in　the　clods　on　the　earth　or　in　the　composition　of　the　stars。
  For　what　we　understand　by　the　deity　is　the　purest　form　of　Idea；
  of　Mind；　and　no　mind　is　exhibited　in　these。　That　which
  controls　them　is　distinct　altogether　from　deity。　It　is　not
  force　in　the　sense　of　electricity；　nor　a　deity　as　god；　nor　a
  spirit；　not　even　an　intelligence；　but　a　power　quite　different　to　anything
  yet　imagined。　I　cease；　therefore；　to　look　for　deity　in　nature　or　the　cosmos
  at　large；　or　to　trace　any　marks　of　divine　handiwork。　　I　search　for　traces　of
  this　force　which　is　not　god；　and　is　certainly　not　the　higher　than　deity　of
  whom　I　have　written。　It　is　a　force　without　a　mind。　I　wish　to　indicate
  something　more　subtle　than　electricity；　but　absolutely　devoid　of
  consciousness；　and　with　no　more　feeling　than　the　force　which　liftsthe　tides。
  Next；　in　human　affairs；　in　the　relations　of　man　with　man；　in　the
  conduct　of　life；　in　the　events　that　occur；　in　human　affairs
  generally　everything　happens　by　chance。　No　prudence　in　conduct；
  no　wisdom　or　foresight　can　effect　anything；　for　the　most　trivial
  circumstance　will　upset　the　deepest　plan　of　the　wisest　mind。　As
  Xenophon　observed　in　old　times；　wisdom　is　like　casting　dice　and
  determining　your　course　by　the　number　that　appears。　Virtue；　humanity；　the
  best　and　most　beautiful　conduct　is　wholly　in　vain。　The　history　of　thousands
  of　years　demonstrates　it。　In　all　these　years　there　is　no　more　moving
  instance　on　record　than　that　of　Danae；　when　she　was　dragged　to　the
  precipice；　two　thousand　years　ago。　Sophron　was　governor　of　Ephesus；　and
  Laodice　plotted　to　assassinate　him。　Danae　discovered　the　plot；and　warned
  Sophron；　who　fled；　and　saved　his　life。　Laodicethe　murderess　in　intenthad
  Danae　seized　and　cast　from　a　cliff。　On　the　verge　Danae　said　that　some
  persons　despised　the　deity；　and　they　might　now　prove　the　justice　of　their
  contempt　by　her　fate。　　For　having　saved　the　man　who　was　to　her　as　a　husband；
  she　was　rewarded　in　this　way　with　cruel　death　by　the　deity；　but　Laodice　was
  advanced　to　honour。　The　bitterness　of　these　words　remains　to　this　hour。
  In　truth　the　deity；　if　responsible　for　such　a　thing；　or　for
  similar　things　which　occur　now；　should　be　despised。　One　must
  always　despise　the　fatuous　belief　in　such　a　deity。　But　as
  everything　in　human　affairs　obviously　happens　by　chance；　it　is
  clear　that　no　deity　is　responsible。　If　the　deity　guides　chance
  in　that　manner；　then　let　the　deity　be　despised。　Apparently　the
  deity　does　not　interfere；　and　all　things　happen　by　chance。　I
  cease；　therefore；　to　look　for　traces　of　the　deity　in　life；
  because　no　such　traces　exist。
  I　conclude　that　there　is　an　existence；　a　something　higher　than
  soulhigher；　better；　and　more　perfect　than　deity。　Earnestly　I
  pray　to　find　this　something　better　than　a　god。　There　is　something　superior；
  higher；more　good。　　For　this　I　search；　labour；　think；　and　pray。　If　after　all
  there　be　nothing；　and　my　soul　has　to　go　out　like　a　flame；　yet　even　then　I
  have　thought　this　while　it　lives。　With　the　whole　force　of　my　existence；　with
  the　whole　force　of　my　thought；　mind；　and　soul；　I　pray　to　find　this　Highest
  Soul；　this　greater　than　deity；　this　better　than　god。　Give　me　to　live　the
  deepest　soul…life　now　and　always　with　this　Soul。　For　want　of　words　I　write
  soul；　but　I　think　that　it　is　something　beyond　soul。
  CHAPTER　V
  IT　is　not　possible　to　narrate　these　incidents　of　the　mind　in
  strict　order。　I　must　now　return　to　a　period　earlier　than
  anything　already　narrated；　and　pass　in　review　other　phases　of　my
  search　from　then　up　till　recently。　So　long　since　that　I　have
  forgotten　the　date；　I　used　every　morning　to　visit　a　spot　where　I
  could　get　a　clear　view　of　the　east。　Immediately　on　rising　I
  went　out　to　some　elms；　thence　I　could　see　across　the　dewy　fields
  to　the　distant　hill　over　or　near　which　the　sun　rose。　These　elms　partially
  hid　me；　for　at　that　time　I　had　a　dislike　to　being　seen；　feeling　that　I
  should　be　despised　if　I　was　noticed。　This　happened　once　or　twice；　and　I　knew
  I　was　watched　contemptuously；
  though　no　one　had　the　least　idea　of　my　object。　But　I　went
  every　morning；