第 4 节
作者:热带雨淋      更新:2021-02-20 05:18      字数:9321
  the organs of the body may be stronger in their action; perfect; and
  lasting。 That the exterior flesh may be yet more beautiful; that the shape
  may be finer; and the motions graceful。 These are the soberest words I can
  find; purposely chosen; for I am so rapt in the beauty of the human form;
  and so earnestly; so inexpressibly; prayerful to see that form perfect; that
  my full thought is not to be written。 Unable to express it fully; I have
  considered it best to put it in the simplest manner of words。  I believe in
  the human form; let me find something; some method; by which that form may
  achieve the utmost beauty。 Its beauty is like an arrow; which may be shot
  any distance according to the strength of the bow。 So the idea expressed in
  the human shape is capable of indefinite expansion and elevation of beauty。
  Of the mind; the inner consciousness; the soul; my prayer
  desired that I might discover a mode of life for it; so that it
  might not only conceive of such a life; but actually enjoy it on
  the earth。 I wished to search out a new and higher set of ideas
  on which the mind should work。 The simile of a new book of the
  soul is the nearest to convey the meaninga book drawn from
  the present and future; not the past。 Instead of a set of ideas based on
  tradition; let me give the mind a new thought drawn straight from the
  wondrous present; direct this very hour。  Next; to furnish the soul with the
  means of executing its will; of carrying thought into action。 In other
  words; for the soul to
  become a power。 These three formed the Lyra prayer; of which the two first
  are immeasurably the in more important。 I believe in the human being; mind
  and flesh; form and soul。
  It happened just afterwards that I went to Pevensey; and
  immediately the ancient wall swept my mind back seventeen
  hundred years to the eagle; the pilum; and the short sword。  The
  grey stones; the thin red bricks laid by those whose eyes had
  seen Caesar's Rome; lifted me out of the grasp of house…life;
  of modern civilisation; of those minutiae which occupy the
  moment。 The grey stone made me feel as if I had existed from
  then till now; so strongly did I enter into and see my own
  life as if reflected。 My own existence was focused back on me;
  I saw its joy; its unhappiness; its birth; its death; its
  possibilities among the infinite; above all its yearning
  Question。 Why? Seeing it thus clearly; and lifted out of the
  moment by the force of seventeen centuries; I recognised the
  full mystery and the depths of things in the roots of the dry
  grass on the wall; in the green sea flowing near。 Is there
  anything I can do? The mystery and the possibilities are not in
  the roots of the grass; nor is the depth of things in the sea; they are in
  my existence; in my soul。 The marvel of existence;
  almost the terror of it; was flung on me with crushing force by
  the sea; the sun shining; the distant hills。 With all their
  ponderous weight they made me feel myself: all the time; all the
  centuries made me feel myself this moment a hundred…fold。 I
  determined that I would endeavour to write what I had so long
  thought of; and the same evening put down one sentence。 There
  the sentence remained two years。  I tried to carry it on; I hesitated
  because I could not express it: nor can I now; though in desperation I am
  throwing these rude stones of thought together; rude as those of the ancient
  wall。
  CHAPTER III
  THERE were grass…grown tumuli on the hills to which of old I used to walk;
  sit down at the foot of one of them; and think。 Some warrior had been
  interred there in the antehistoric times。 The sun of the summer morning
  shone on the dome of sward; and the air came softly up from the wheat below;
  the tips of the grasses swayed as it passed sighing faintly; it ceased; and
  the bees hummed by to the thyme and heathbells。 I became absorbed in the
  glory of the day; the sunshine; the sweet air; the yellowing corn turning
  from its sappy green to summer's noon of gold; the lark's song like a
  waterfall in the sky。 I felt at that moment that I was like the spirit of
  the man whose body was interred in the tumulus; I could understand and feel
  his existence the same as my own。 He was as real to me two thousand years
  after interment as those I had seen in the body。 The abstract personality of
  the dead seemed as existent as thought。 As my
  thought could slip back the twenty centuries in a moment to the forest…days
  when he hurled the spear; or shot with the bow; hunting the deer; and could
  return again as swiftly to this moment; so his spirit could endure from then
  till now; and the time was nothing。
  Two thousand years being a second to the soul could not cause
  its extinction。 Itwas no longer to the soul than my thought occupied to me。
  Recognising my own inner consciousness; the psyche; so clearly; death did
  not seem to me to affect the personality。In dissolution there was no
  bridgeless chasm; no unfathomable gulf of separation; the spirit did not
  immediately become inaccesible; leaping at a bound to an immeasurable
  distance。 Look at another person while living;
  the soul is not visible; only the body which it animates。  Therefore; merely
  because after death the soul is not visible is no demonstration that it does
  not still live。
  The condition of being unseen is the same condition which occurs
  while the body is living; so that intrinsically there is nothing
  exceptionable; or supernatural; in the life of the soul after death。 Resting
  by the tumulus; the spirit of the man who had been interred there was to me
  really alive; and very close。 This was quite natural; as natural and simple
  as the grass waving in the wind; the bees humming; and the larks' songs。
  Only by the strongest effort of the mind could I understand the idea of
  extinction; that was supernatural; requiring a miracle; the immortality of
  the soul natural; like earth。 Listening to the sighing of the grass I felt
  immortality as I felt the beauty of the summer morning; and I thought beyond
  immortality; of other conditions; more beautiful than existence; higher than
  immortality。
  That there is no knowing; in the sense of written reasons;
  whether the soul lives on or not; I am fully aware。 I do not
  hope or fear。 At least while I am living I have enjoyed the
  idea of immortality; and the idea of my own soul。 If then;
  after death; I am resolved without exception into earth; air;
  and water; and the spirit goes out like a flame; still I shall
  have had the glory of that thought。
  It happened once that a man was drowned while bathing; and his
  body was placed in an outhouse near the garden。 I passed the
  outhouse continually; sometimes on purpose to think about it;
  and it always seemed to me that the man was still living。
  Separation is not to be comprehended; the spirit of the man did not appear
  to have gone to an in conceivable distance。 As my thought flashes itself
  back through the centuries to the luxury of Canopus; and can see the gilded
  couches of a city extinct; so it slips through the future; and immeasurable
  time in front is no bounandary to it。 Certainly the man was not dead to me。
  Sweetly the summer air came up to the tumulus; the grass sighed softly; the
  butterflies went by; sometimes alighting on the green dome。 Two thousand
  years! Summer after summer the blue butterflies had visited the mound; the
  thyme had flowered; the wind sighed in the grass。  The azure morning had
  spread its arms over the low tomb; and full glowing noon burned on it; the
  purple of sunset rosied the sward。  Stars; ruddy in the vapour of the
  southern horizon; beamed at midnight through the mystic summer night; which
  is dusky and yet full of light。 White mists swept up and hid it; dews rested
  on the turf; tender harebells drooped; the wings of the finches fanned the
  airfinches whose colours faded from the wings how many centuries ago!
  Brown autumn dwelt in the woods beneath; the rime of winter whitened the
  beech clump on the ridge; again the buds came on the wind…blown hawthorn
  bushes; and in the evening the broad constellation of Orion covered the
  east。 Two thousand times! Two thousand times the woods grew green; and
  ring…doves built their nests。  Day and night for two thousand yearslight
  and shadow sweeping over the moundtwo thousand years of labour by day and
  slumber by night。 Mystery gleaming in the stars; pouring down in the
  sunshine; speaking in the night; the wonder of the sun and of far space; for
  twenty centuries round about this low and green…grown dome。  Yet all that
  mystery and wonder is as nothing to the Thought that lies therein; to the
  spirit that I feel so close。
  Realising that spirit; recognising my own inner consciousness;
  the psyche; so clearly; I cannot understand time。 It is
  eternity now。 I am in the midst of it。 It is about me in the
  sunshine; I am in it; as the butterfly floats in the light…laden
  air。 Nothing has to come; it is now。 Now is eternity; now is
  the immortal life。 Here this moment; by this tumulus; on earth;
  now; I exist in it。 The years; the centuries; the cycles are
  absolutely nothing; it is only a moment since this tumulus was raised; in a
  thousand years it will still be only a moment。 To the soul there is no past
  and no