第 3 节
作者:热带雨淋      更新:2021-02-20 05:18      字数:9322
  I noted them。  The first green leaf on the hawthorn; the first
  spike of meadow grass; the first song of the nightingale; the
  green ear of wheat。  I spoke it with the ear of wheat as the sun
  tinted it golden; with the whitening barley; again with the red gold spots
  of autumn on the beech; the buff oak leaves; and the gossamer dew…weighted。
  All the larks over the green corn sang it for me; all the dear swallows; the
  green leaves rustled it; the green brookflags waved it; the swallows took it
  with them to repeat it for me in distant lands。  By the running brook I
  meditated it; a flash of sunlight here in the curve; a flicker yonderon the
  ripples; the birds bathing in the sandy shallow; the rush of falling water。
  As the brook ran winding through the
  meadow; so one thought ran winding through my days。
  The sciences I studied never checked it for a moment; nor did the books of
  old philosophy。  The sun was stronger than science;
  the hills more than philosophy。  Twice circumstances gave me a brief view of
  the sea then the passion rose tumultuous as the
  waves。  It was very bitter to me to leave the sea。
  Sometimes I spent the whole day walking over the hills
  searching for it; as if the labour of walking would force it
  from the ground。  I remained in the woods for hours; among the
  ash sprays and the fluttering of the ring…doves at their nests;
  the scent of pines here and there; dreaming my prayer。
  My work was most uncongenial and useless; but even then sometimes a
  gleam of sunlight on the wall; the buzz of a bee at the window; would bring
  the thought to me。  Only to make me miserable; for it was a waste of golden
  time while the rich sunlight streamed on hill and plain。  There was a
  wrenching of the mind; a straining of the mental sinews; I was forced to do
  this; my mind was yonder。  Weariness; exhaustion; nerve…illness often
  ensued。  The insults which are showered on poverty; long struggle of labour;
  the heavy pressure of circumstances; the unhappiness; only stayed the
  expression of the feeling。  It was always there。  Often in the streets of
  London; as the red sunset flamed over the houses; the old thought; the old
  prayer; came。
  Not only in grassy fields with green leaf and running brook did
  this constant desire find renewal。  More deeply still with
  living human beauty; the perfection of form; the simple fact of
  form; ravished and always willravish me away。  In this lies the outcome and
  end of all the loveliness of sunshine and green leaf; of flowers; pure
  water; and sweet air。  This is embodiment and highest ex…pression; the
  scattered; uncertain; and designless loveliness of tree and sunlight brought
  to shape。  Through this beauty Iprayed deepest and longest; and down to this
  hour。  The shapethe divine idea of that shapethe swelling muscle or the
  dreamy limb; strong sinew or curve of bust; Aphrodite or Hercules; it is the
  same。  That I may have the soul…life; the soul…nature; let divine beauty
  bring to me divine soul。  Swart Nubian; white Greek; delicate Italian;
  massive Scandinavian; in all the exquisite pleasure the form gave; and
  gives; to me immediately becomes intense prayer。
  If I could have been in physical shape like these; how
  despicable in comparison I am; to be shapely of form is so
  infinitely beyond wealth; power; fame; all that ambition can give; that
  these are dust before it。  Unless of the human form; no pictures hold me;
  the rest are flat surfaces。  So; too; with
  the other arts; they are dead; the potters; the architects;
  meaningless; stony; and some repellent; like the cold touch of
  porcelain。  No prayer with these。  Only the human form in art
  could raise it; and most in statuary。  I have seen so little
  good statuary; it is a regret to me; still; that I have is
  beyond all other art。  Fragments here; a bust yonder; the
  broken pieces brought from Greece; copies; plaster casts; a
  memory of an Aphrodite; of a Persephone; of an Apollo; that is
  all; but even drawings of statuary will raise the prayer。
  These statues were like myself full of a thought; for ever
  about to burst forth as a bud; yet silent in the same attitude。
  Give me to live the soul…life they express。  The smallest
  fragment of marble carved in the shape of the human arm will wake the desire
  I felt in my hill…prayer。
  Time went on; good fortune and success never for an instant
  deceived me that they were in themselves to be sought; only my
  soul…thought was worthy。  Further years bringing much suffering;
  grinding the very life out; new troubles; renewed insults; loss
  of what hard labour had earned; the bitter question: Is it not
  better to leap into the sea?  These; too; have made no
  impression; constant still to the former prayer my mind endures。
  It was my chief regret that I had not endeavoured to write these things; to
  give expression to this passion。  I am now trying; but I see that I shall
  only in part succeed。
  The same prayer comes to me at this very hour。  It is now less
  solely associated with the sun and sea; hills; woods; or
  beauteous human shape。  It is always within。 It requires no waking; no
  renewal; it is always with me。  I am it; the fact of my existence expresses
  it。After a long interval I came to the hills again; this time by the coast。
  I found a deep hollow on the side of a great hill; a green concave opening
  to the sea; where I could rest and think in perfect quiet。  Behind me were
  furze bushes dried by the heat; immediately in front dropped the steep
  descent of the bowl…like hollow which received and brought up to me the
  faint sound of the summer waves。  Yonder lay the immense plain of sea; the
  palest green under the continued sunshine; as though the heat had evaporated
  the colour from it; there was no distinct horizon; a heat…mist inclosed it
  and looked farther away than the horizon would have done。  Silence and
  sunshine; sea and hill gradually brought my mind into the condition of
  intense prayer。  Day after day; forhours at a time; I came there; my
  soul…desire always the same。  Presently I began to consider how I could put
  a part of that prayer into form; giving it an object。  Could I bring it into
  such a shape as would admit of actually working upon the lines it indicated
  for any good ?
  One evening; when the bright white star in Lyra was shining
  almost at the zenith over me; and the deep concave was the more
  profound in the dusk; I formulated it into three divisions。
  First; I desired that I might do or find something to exalt the
  soul; something to enable it to live its own life; a more
  powerful existence now。  Secondly; I desired to be able to do something for
  the flesh; to make a discovery or perfect a method by which the fleshly body
  might enjoy more pleasure; longer life; and suffer less pain。  Thirdly; to
  construct a more flexible engine with which to carry into execution the
  design of the will。 I called this the Lyra prayer; to distinguish it from
  the far deeper emotion in which the soul was alone
  concerned。
  Of the three divisions; the last was of so little importance
  that it scarcely deserved to be named in conjunction with the
  others。  Mechanism increases conveniencein no degree does it
  confer physical or moral perfection。  The rudimentary engines
  employed thousands of years ago in raising buildings were in
  that respect equal to the complicated machines of the present
  day。  Control of iron and steel has not altered or improved the
  bodily man。  I even debated some time whether such a third
  division should be included at all。  Our bodies are now conveyed
  all round the world with ease; but obtain no advantage。 As they start so
  they return。 The most perfect human families of ancient times were almost
  stationary; as those of Greece。 Perfection of form was found inSparta; how
  small a spot compared to those continents over which we are now taken so
  quickly!  Such perfection of form might perhaps again dwell; contented and
  complete in itself; on such a strip of land as I could see between me and
  the sand of the sea。 Again; a watch keeping correct time is no guarantee
  that the bearer shall not suffer pain。  The owner of the watch may be
  soulless; without mind…fire; a mere creature。  No benefit to the
  heart or to the body accrues from the most accurate mechanism。
  Hence I debated whether the third division should be included。
  But I reflected that time cannot be put back on the dial; we
  cannot return to Sparta; there is an existent state of things;
  and existent multitudes; and possibly a more powerful engine;
  flexible to the will; might give them that freedom which is the
  one; and the one only; political or social idea I possess。 For
  liberty; therefore; let it be included。
  For the flesh; this arm of mine; the limbs of others gracefully moving; let
  me find something that will give them greater per…
  fection。 That the bones may be firmer; somewhat larger if that would be an
  advantage; certainly stronger; that the cartilage and sinews may be more
  enduring; and the muscles more powerful; something after the manner of those
  ideal limbs and muscles sculptured of old; these in the flesh and real。 That
  the organs of the body may be stronger in their action; perfect; and
  lasting。 That the exterior flesh may be yet m