第 28 节
作者:
指点迷津 更新:2021-02-20 05:05 字数:9321
the pillow; the soft drapery; and the flowers placed there by the
nurse to complete the artistic effect to which she had so
confidently referred; were lost on him; he saw only a lifeless
mask that had been his wife's face; and at sight of it his knees
failed; and he had to lean for support on the rail at the foot of
the bed。
When he looked again the face seemed to have changed。 It was no
longer a waxlike mask; but Henrietta; girlish and pathetically at
rest。 Death seemed to have cancelled her marriage and womanhood;
he had never seen her look so young。 A minute passed; and then a
tear dropped on the coverlet。 He started; shook another tear on
his hand; and stared at it incredulously。
〃This is a fraud of which I have never even dreamed;〃 he said。
〃Tears and no sorrow! Here am I crying! growing maudlin! whilst I
am glad that she is gone and I free。 I have the mechanism of
grief in me somewhere; it begins to turn at sight of her though I
have no sorrow; just as she used to start the mechanism of
passion when I had no love。 And that made no difference to her;
whilst the wheels went round she was satisfied。 I hope the
mechanism of grief will flag and stop in its spinning as soon as
the other used to。 It is stopping already; I think。 What a
mockery! Whilst it lasts I suppose I am really sorry。 And yet;
would I restore her to life if I could? Perhaps so; I am
therefore thankful that I cannot。〃 He folded his arms on the rail
and gravely addressed the dead figure; which still affected him
so strongly that he had to exert his will to face it with
composure。 〃If you really loved me; it is well for you that you
are deadidiot that I was to believe that the passion you could
inspire; you poor child; would last。 We are both lucky; I have
escaped from you; and you have escaped from yourself。〃
Presently he breathed more freely and looked round the room to
help himself into a matter…of…fact vein by a little unembarrassed
action; and the commonplace aspect of the bedroom furniture。 He
went to the pillow; and bent over it; examining the face closely。
〃Poor child!〃 he said again; tenderly。 Then; with sudden
reaction; apostrophizing himself instead of his wife; 〃Poor ass!
Poor idiot! Poor jackanapes! Here is the body of a woman who was
nearly as old as myself; and perhaps wiser; and here am I
moralizing over it as if I were God Almighty and she a baby! The
more you remind a man of what he is; the more conceited he
becomes。 Monstrous! I shall feel immortal presently。〃
He touched the cheek with a faint attempt at roughness; to feel
how cold it was。 Then he touched his own; and remarked:
〃This is what I am hastening toward at the express speed of sixty
minutes an hour!〃 He stood looking down at the face and tasting
this sombre reflection for a long time。 When it palled on him; he
roused himself; and exclaimed more cheerfully:
〃After all; she is not dead。 Every word she utteredevery idea
she formed and expressed; was an inexhaustible and indestructible
impulse。〃 He paused; considered a little further; and relapsed
into gloom; adding; 〃and the dozen others whose names will be
with hers in the 'Times' to…morrow? Their words too are still in
the air; to endure there to all eternity。 Hm! How the air must be
crammed with nonsense! Two sounds sometimes produce a silence;
perhaps ideas neutralize one another in some analogous way。 No;
my dear; you are dead and gone and done with; and I shall be dead
and gone and done with too soon to leave me leisure to fool
myself with hopes of immortality。 Poor Hetty! Well; good…by; my
darling。 Let us pretend for a moment that you can hear that; I
know it will please you。〃
All this was in a half…articulate whisper。 When he ceased he
still bent over the body; gazing intently at it。 Even when he had
exhausted the subject; and turned to go; he changed his mind; and
looked again for a while。 Then he stood erect; apparently nerved
and refreshed; and left the room with a firm step。 The woman was
waiting outside。 Seeing that he was less distressed than when he
entered; she said:
〃I hope you are satisfied; sir!〃
〃Delighted! Charmed! The arrangements are extremely pretty and
tasteful。 Most consolatory。〃 And he gave her half a sovereign。
〃I thank you; sir;〃 she said; dropping a curtsey。 〃The poor young
lady! She was anxious to see you; sir。 To hear her say that you
were the only one that cared for her! And so fretful with her
mother; too。 'Let him be told that I am dangerously ill;' says
she; 'and he'll come。' She didn't know how true her word was;
poor thing; and she went off without being aware of it。〃
〃Flattering herself and flattering me。 Happy girl!〃
〃Bless you; I know what her feelings were; sir; I have had
experience。〃 Here she approached him confidentially; and
whispered: 〃The family were again' you; sir; and she knew it。 But
she wouldn't listen to them。 She thought of nothing; when she was
easy enough to think at all; but of your coming。 Andhush!
Here's the old gentleman。〃
Trefusis looked round and saw Mr。 Jansenius; whose handsome face
was white and seamed with grief and annoyance。 He drew back from
the proffered hand of his son…in…law; like an overworried child
from an ill…timed attempt to pet it。 Trefusis pitied him。 The
nurse coughed and retired。
〃Have you been speaking to Mrs。 Jansenius?〃 said Trefusis。
〃Yes;〃 said Jansenius offensively。
〃So have I; unfortunately。 Pray make my apologies to her。 I was
rude。 The circumstances upset me。〃
〃You are not upset; sir;〃 said Jansenius loudly。 〃You do not care
a damn。〃
Trefusis recoiled。
〃You damned my feelings; and I will damn yours;〃 continued
Jansenius in the same tone。 Trefusis involuntarily looked at the
door through which he had lately passed。 Then; recovering
himself; he said quietly:
〃It does not matter。 She can't hear us。〃
Before Jansenius could reply his wife hurried upstairs; caught
him by the arm; and said; 〃Don't speak to him; John。 And you;〃
she added; to Trefusis; 〃WILL you begone?〃
〃What!〃 he said; looking cynically at her。 〃Without my dead!
Without my property! Well; be it so。〃
〃What do you know of the feelings of a respectable man?〃
persisted Jansenius; breaking out again in spite of his wife。
〃Nothing is sacred to you。 This shows what Socialists are!〃
〃And what fathers are; and what mothers are;〃 retorted Trefusis;
giving way to his temper。 〃I thought you loved Hetty; but I see
that you only love your feelings and your respectability。 The
devil take both! She was right; my love for her; incomplete as it
was; was greater than yours。〃 And he left the house in dudgeon。
But he stood awhile in the avenue to laugh at himself and his
father…in…law。 Then he took a hansom and was driven to the house
of his solicitor; whom he wished to consult on the settlement of
his late wife's affairs。
CHAPTER X
The remains of Henrietta Trefusis were interred in Highgate
Cemetery the day before Christmas Eve。 Three noblemen sent their
carriages to the funeral; and the friends and clients of Mr。
Jansenius; to a large number; attended in person。 The bier was
covered with a profusion of costly Bowers。 The undertaker;
instructed to spare no expense; provided long…tailed black
horses; with black palls on their backs and black plumes upon
their foreheads; coachmen decorated with scarves and jack…boots;
black hammercloths; cloaks; and gloves; with many hired mourners;
who; however; would have been instantly discharged had they
presumed to betray emotion; or in any way overstep their function
of walking beside the hearse with brass…tipped batons in their
hands。
Among the genuine mourners were Mr。 Jansenius; who burst into
tears at the ceremony of casting earth on the coffin; the boy
Arthur; who; preoccupied by the novelty of appearing in a long
cloak at the head of a public procession; felt that he was not so
sorry as he ought to be when he saw his papa cry; and a cousin
who had once asked Henrietta to marry him; and who now; full of
tragic reflections; was enjoying his despair intensely。
The rest whispered; whenever they could decently do so; about a
strange omission in the arrangements。 The husband of the deceased
was absent。 Members of the family and intimate friends were told
by Daniel Jansenius that the widower had acted in a blackguard
way; and that the Janseniuses did not care two…pence whether he
came or stayed at home; that; but for the indecency of the thing;
they were just as glad that he was keeping away。 Others; who had
no claim to be privately informed; made inquiries of the
undertaker's foreman; who said he understood the gentleman
objected to large funerals。 Asked why; he said he supposed it was
on the ground of expense。 This being met by a remark that Mr。
Trefusis was very wealthy; he added that he had been told so; but
believed the money had not come from the lady; that people seldom
cared to go to a great expense for a funeral unless they came
into something good by the death; and that some parties the more
they had the more they grudged。 Before the funeral guests
dispersed; the report spread by Mr。 Jansenius's brother had got
mixed with the views of the foreman; and had