第 25 节
作者:
指点迷津 更新:2021-02-20 05:05 字数:9322
strength to tell your husband all the unpleasant things your soul
is charged with。 Take just a little。〃
She turned her face away and would not answer。 He brought another
chair and sat down beside her。 〃My lost; forlorn; betrayed one〃
〃I am;〃 she sobbed。 〃You don't mean it; but I am。〃
〃You are also my dearest and best of wives。 If you ever loved me;
Hetty; do; for my once dear sake; drink this before it gets
cold。〃
She pouted; sobbed; and yielded to some gentle force which he
used; as a child allows herself to be half persuaded; half
compelled; to take physic。
〃Do you feel better and more comfortable now?〃 he said。
〃No;〃 she replied; angry with herself for feeling both。
〃Then;〃 he said cheerfully; as if she had uttered a hearty
affirmative; 〃I will put some more coals on the fire; and we
shall be as snug as possible。 It makes me wildly happy to see you
at my fireside; and to know that you are my own wife。〃
〃I wonder how you can look me in the face and say so;〃 she cried。
〃I should wonder at myself if I could look at your face and say
anything else。 Oatmeal is a capital restorative; all your energy
is coming back。 There; that will make a magnificent blaze
presently。〃
〃I never thought you deceitful; Sidney; whatever other faults you
might have had。〃
〃Precisely; my love。 I understand your feelings。 Murder;
burglary; intemperance; or the minor vices you could have borne;
but deceit you cannot abide。〃
〃I will go away;〃 she said despairingly; with a fresh burst of
tears。 〃I will not be laughed at and betrayed。 I will go
barefooted。〃 She rose and attempted to reach the door; but he
intercepted her and said:
〃My love; there is something serious the matter。 What is it?
Don't be angry with me。〃
He brought her back to the chair。 She took Agatha's letter from
the pocket of her fur cloak; and handed it to him with a faint
attempt to be tragic。
〃Read that;〃 she said。 〃And never speak to me again。 All is over
between us。〃
He took it curiously; and turned it to look at the signature。
〃Aha!〃 he said; 〃my golden idol has been making mischief; has
she?〃
〃There!〃 exclaimed Henrietta。 〃You have said it to my face! You
have convicted yourself out of your own mouth!〃
〃Wait a moment; my dear。 I have not read the letter yet。〃
He rose and walked to and fro through the room; reading。 She
watched him; angrily confident that she should presently see him
change countenance。 Suddenly he drooped as if his spine had
partly given way; and in this ungraceful attitude he read the
remainder of the letter。 When he had finished he threw it on the
table; thrust his hands deep into his pockets; and roared with
laughter; huddling himself together as if he could concentrate
the joke by collecting himself into the smallest possible
compass。 Henrietta; speechless with indignation; could only look
her feelings。 At last he came and sat down beside her。
〃And so;〃 he said; 〃on receiving this you rushed out in the cold
and came all the way to Lyvern。 Now; it seems to me that you must
either love me very much… …〃
〃I don't。 I hate you。〃
〃Or else love yourself very much。〃
〃Oh!〃 And she wept afresh。 〃You are a selfish brute; and you do
just as you like without considering anyone else。 No one ever
thinks of me。 And now you won't even take the trouble to deny
that shameful letter。〃
〃Why should I deny it? It is true。 Do you not see the irony of
all this? I amuse myself by paying a few compliments to a
schoolgirl for whom I do not care two straws more than for any
agreeable and passably clever woman I meet。 Nevertheless; I
occasionally feel a pang of remorse because I think that she may
love me seriously; although I am only playing with her。 I pity
the poor heart I have wantonly ensnared。 And; all the time; she
is pitying me for exactly the same reason! She is
conscience…stricken because she is only indulging in the luxury
of being adored 'by far the cleverest man she has ever met;' and
is as heart…whole as I am! Ha; ha! That is the basis of the
religion of love of which poets are the high…priests。 Each
worshipper knows that his own love is either a transient passion
or a sham copied from his favorite poem; but he believes honestly
in the love of others for him。 Ho; ho! Is it not a silly world;
my dear?〃
〃You had no right to make love to Agatha。 You have no right to
make love to anyone but me; and I won't bear it。〃
〃You are angry because Agatha has infringed your monopoly。 Always
monopoly! Why; you silly girl; do you suppose that I belong to
you; body and soul?that I may not be moved except by your
affection; or think except of your beauty?〃
〃You may call me as many names as you please; but you have no
right to make love to Agatha。〃
〃My dearest; I do not recollect calling you any names。 I think
you said something about a selfish brute。〃
〃I did not。 You called me a silly girl。〃
〃But; my love; you are。〃
〃And so YOU are。 You are thoroughly selfish。〃
〃I don't deny it。 But let us return to our subject。 What did we
begin to quarrel about?〃
〃I am not quarrelling; Sidney。 It is you。〃
〃Well; what did I begin to quarrel about?〃
〃About Agatha Wylie。〃
〃Oh; pardon me; Hetty; I certainly did not begin to quarrel about
her。 I am very fond of hermore so; it appears; than she is of
me。 One moment; Hetty; before you recommence your reproaches。
Why do you dislike my saying pretty things to Agatha?〃
Henrietta hesitated; and said: 〃Because you have no right to。 It
shows how little you care for me。〃
〃It has nothing to do with you。 It only shows how much I care for
her。〃
〃I will not stay here to be insulted;〃 said Hetty; her distress
returning。 〃I will go home。〃
〃Not to…night; there is no train。〃
〃I will walk。〃
〃It is too far。〃
〃I don't care。 I will not stay here; though I die of cold by the
roadside。〃
〃My cherished one; I have been annoying you purposely because you
show by your anger that you have not ceased to care for me。 I am
in the wrong; as I usually am; and it is all my fault。 Agatha
knows nothing about our marriage。〃
〃I do not blame you so much;〃 said Henrietta; suffering him to
place her head on his shoulder; 〃but I will never speak to Agatha
again。 She has behaved shamefully to me; and I will tell her so。〃
〃No doubt she will opine that it is all your fault; dearest; and
that I have behaved admirably。 Between you I shall stand
exonerated。 And now; since it is too cold for walking; since it
is late; since it is far to Lyvern and farther to London; I must
improvise some accommodation for you here。〃
〃But〃
〃But there is no help for it。 You must stay。〃
CHAPTER IX
Next day Smilash obtained from his wife a promise that she would
behave towards Agatha as if the letter had given no offence。
Henrietta pleaded as movingly as she could for an immediate
return to their domestic state; but he put her off with endearing
speeches; promised nothing but eternal affection; and sent her
back to London by the twelve o'clock express。 Then his
countenance changed; he walked back to Lyvern; and thence to the
chalet; like a man pursued by disgust and remorse。 Later in the
afternoon; to raise his spirits; he took his skates and went to
Wickens's pond; where; it being Saturday; he found the ice
crowded with the Alton students and their half…holiday visitors。
Fairholme; describing circles with his habitual air of compressed
hardihood; stopped and stared with indignant surprise as Smilash
lurched past him。
〃Is that man here by your permission?〃 he said to Farmer Wickens;
who was walking about as if superintending a harvest。
〃He is here because he likes; I take it;〃 said Wickens
stubbornly。 〃He is a neighbor of mine and a friend of mine。 Is
there any objections to my having a friend on my own pond; seein'
that there is nigh on two or three ton of other people's friends
on it 108 without as much as a with…your…leave or a by…your…
leave。〃
〃Oh; no;〃 said Fairholme; somewhat dashed。 〃If you are satisfied
there can be no objection。〃
〃I'm glad on it。 I thought there mout be。〃
〃Let me tell you;〃 said Fairholme; nettled; 〃that your landlord
would not be pleased to see him here。 He sent one of Sir John's
best shepherds out of the country; after filling his head with
ideas above his station。 I heard Sir John speak very warmly about
it last Sunday。〃
〃Mayhap you did; Muster Fairholme。 I have a lease of this
landand gravelly; poor stuff it isand I am no ways beholden
to Sir John's likings and dislikings。 A very good thing too for
Sir John that I have a lease; for there ain't a man in the
country 'ud tak' a present o' the farm if it was free to…morrow。
And what's a' more; though that young man do talk foolish things
about the rights of farm laborers and such…like nonsense; if Sir
John was to hear him layin' it down concernin' rent and
improvements; and the way we tenant farmers is put upon; p'raps
he'd speak warmer than ever next Sunday。〃
And Wickens; with a smile expressive of his sense of having
retorted effectively upon the parson; nodded and walked away。
Just then Agatha; skating hand in hand with Jane Carpenter; heard
these words in her ear: 〃I ha