an　hour　later。　　I　received　a　smart　smack　in　the　face　from　a　rolled…up　ball　of　hard　foolscap。　　I　turned　round　sharply；　but　all　the　clerks　were　apparently　riveted　to　their　work。　　I　am　not　a　rich　man；　but　I　would　give　half…a…sovereign　to　know　whether　that　was　thrown　by　accident　or　design。　　Went　home　early　and　bought　some　more　enamel　paint　…　black　this　time　…　and　spent　the　evening　touching　up　the　fender；　picture…frames；　and　an　old　pair　of　boots；　making　them　look　as　good　as　new。　　Also　painted　Gowing's　walking…stick；　which　he　left　behind；　and　made　it　look　like　ebony。
  April　29；　Sunday。　…　Woke　up　with　a　fearful　headache　and　strong　symptoms　of　a　cold。　　Carrie；　with　a　perversity　which　is　just　like　her；　said　it　was　〃painter's　colic；〃　and　was　the　result　of　my　having　spent　the　last　few　days　with　my　nose　over　a　paint…pot。　　I　told　her　firmly　that　I　knew　a　great　deal　better　what　was　the　matter　with　me　than　she　did。　　I　had　got　a　chill；　and　decided　to　have　a　bath　as　hot　as　I　could　bear　it。　　Bath　ready　…　could　scarcely　bear　it　so　hot。　　I　persevered；　and　got　in；　very　hot；　but　very　acceptable。　　I　lay　still　for　some　time。
  On　moving　my　hand　above　the　surface　of　the　water；　I　experienced　the　greatest　fright　I　ever　received　in　the　whole　course　of　my　life；　for　imagine　my　horror　on　discovering　my　hand；　as　I　thought；　full　of　blood。　　My　first　thought　was　that　I　had　ruptured　an　artery；　and　was　bleeding　to　death；　and　should　be　discovered；　later　on；　looking　like　a　second　Marat；　as　I　remember　seeing　him　in　Madame　Tussaud's。　　My　second　thought　was　to　ring　the　bell；　but　remembered　there　was　no　bell　to　ring。　　My　third　was；　that　there　was　nothing　but　the　enamel　paint；　which　had　dissolved　with　boiling　water。　　I　stepped　out　of　the　bath；　perfectly　red　all　over；　resembling　the　Red　Indians　I　have　seen　depicted　at　an　East…End　theatre。　　I　determined　not　to　say　a　word　to　Carrie；　but　to　tell　Farmerson　to　come　on　Monday　and　paint　the　bath　white。
  CHAPTER　IV。
  The　ball　at　the　Mansion　House。
  April　30。　…　Perfectly　astounded　at　receiving　an　invitation　for　Carrie　and　myself　from　the　Lord　and　Lady　Mayoress　to　the　Mansion　House；　to　〃meet　the　Representatives　of　Trades　and　Commerce。〃　　My　heart　beat　like　that　of　a　schoolboy's。　　Carrie　and　I　read　the　invitation　over　two　or　three　times。　　I　could　scarcely　eat　my　breakfast。　　I　said　…　and　I　felt　it　from　the　bottom　of　my　heart；　…　〃Carrie　darling；　I　was　a　proud　man　when　I　led　you　down　the　aisle　of　the　church　on　our　wedding…day；　that　pride　will　be　equalled；　if　not　surpassed；　when　I　lead　my　dear；　pretty　wife　up　to　the　Lord　and　Lady　Mayoress　at　the　Mansion　House。〃　　I　saw　the　tears　in　Carrie's　eyes；　and　she　said：　　〃Charlie　dear；　it　is　I　who　have　to　be　proud　of　you。　And　I　am　very；　very　proud　of　you。　　You　have　called　me　pretty；　and　as　long　as　I　am　pretty　in　your　eyes；　I　am　happy。　　You；　dear　old　Charlie；　are　not　handsome；　but　you　are　GOOD；　which　is　far　more　noble。〃　　I　gave　her　a　kiss；　and　she　said：　　〃I　wonder　if　there　will　be　any　dancing？　　I　have　not　danced　with　you　for　years。〃
  I　cannot　tell　what　induced　me　to　do　it；　but　I　seized　her　round　the　waist；　and　we　were　silly　enough　to　be　executing　a　wild　kind　of　polka　when　Sarah　entered；　grinning；　and　said：　　〃There　is　a　man；　mum；　at　the　door　who　wants　to　know　if　you　want　any　good　coals。〃　Most　annoyed　at　this。　　Spent　the　evening　in　answering；　and　tearing　up　again；　the　reply　to　the　Mansion　House；　having　left　word　with　Sarah　if　Gowing　or　Cummings　called　we　were　not　at　home。　　Must　consult　Mr。　Perkupp　how　to　answer　the　Lord　Mayor's　invitation。
  May　1。　…　Carrie　said：　　〃I　should　like　to　send　mother　the　invitation　to　look　at。〃　　I　consented；　as　soon　as　I　had　answered　it。　　I　told　Mr。　Perkupp；　at　the　office；　with　a　feeling　of　pride；　that　we　had　received　an　invitation　to　the　Mansion　House；　and　he　said；　to　my　astonishment；　that　he　himself　gave　in　my　name　to　the　Lord　Mayor's　secretary。　　I　felt　this　rather　discounted　the　value　of　the　invitation；　but　I　thanked　him；　and　in　reply　to　me；　he　described　how　I　was　to　answer　it。　　I　felt　the　reply　was　too　simple；　but　of　course　Mr。　Perkupp　knows　best。
  May　2。　…　Sent　my　dress…coat　and　trousers　to　the　little　tailor's　round　the　corner；　to　have　the　creases　taken　out。　　Told　Gowing　not　to　call　next　Monday；　as　we　were　going　to　the　Mansion　House。　　Sent　similar　note　to　Cummings。
  May　3。　…　Carrie　went　to　Mrs。　James；　at　Sutton；　to　consult　about　her　dress　for　next　Monday。　　While　speaking　incidentally　to　Spotch；　one　of　our　head　clerks；　about　the　Mansion　House；　he　said：　　〃Oh；　I'm　asked；　but　don't　think　I　shall　go。〃　　When　a　vulgar　man　like　Spotch　is　asked；　I　feel　my　invitation　is　considerably　discounted。　　In　the　evening；　while　I　was　out；　the　little　tailor　brought　round　my　coat　and　trousers；　and　because　Sarah　had　not　a　shilling　to　pay　for　the　pressing；　he　took　them　away　again。
  May　4。　…　Carrie's　mother　returned　the　Lord　Mayor's　invitation；　which　was　sent　to　her　to　look　at；　with　apologies　for　having　upset　a　glass　of　port　over　it。　　I　was　too　angry　to　say　anything。
  May　5。　…　Bought　a　pair　of　lavender　kid…gloves　for　next　Monday；　and　two　white　ties；　in　case　one　got　spoiled　in　the　tying。
  May　6；　Sunday。　…　A　very　dull　sermon；　during　which；　I　regret　to　say；　I　twice　thought　of　the　Mansion　House　reception　to…morrow。
  May　7。　…　A　big　red…letter　day；　viz。；　the　Lord　Mayor's　reception。　The　whole　house　upset。　　I　had　to　get　dressed　at　half…past　six；　as　Carrie　wanted　the　room　to　herself。　　Mrs。　James　had　come　up　from　Sutton　to　help　Carrie；　so　I　could　not　help　thinking　it　unreasonable　that　she　should　require　the　entire　attention　of　Sarah；　the　servant；　as　well。　　Sarah　kept　running　out　of　the　house　to　fetch　〃something　for　missis；〃　and　several　times　I　had；　in　my　full　evening…dress；　to　answer　the　back…door。
  The　last　time　it　was　the　greengrocer's　boy；　who；　not　seeing　it　was　me；　for　Sarah　had　not　lighted　the　gas；　pushed　into　my　hands　two　cabbages　and　half…a…dozen　coal…blocks。　　I　indignantly　threw　them　on　the　ground；　and　felt　so　annoyed　that　I　so　far　forgot　myself　as　to　box　the　boy's　ears。　　He　went　away　crying；　and　said　he　should　summons　me；　a　thing　I　would　not　have　happen　for　the　world。　　In　the　dark；　I　stepped　on　a　piece　of　the　cabbage；　which　brought　me　down　on　the　flags　all　of　a　heap。　　For　a　moment　I　was　stunned；　but　when　I　recovered　I　crawled　upstairs　into　the　drawing…room　and　on　looking　into　the　chimney…glass　discovered　that　my　chin　was　bleeding；　my　shirt　smeared　with　the　coal…blocks；　and　my　left　trouser　torn　at　the　knee。
  However；　Mrs。　James　brought　me　down　another　shirt；　which　I　changed　in　the　drawing…room。　　I　put　a　piece　of　court…plaster　on　my　chin；　and　Sarah　very　neatly　sewed　up　the　tear　at　the　knee。　　At　nine　o'clock　Carrie　swept　into　the　room；　looking　like　a　queen。　　Never　have　I　seen　her　look　so　lovely；　or　so　distinguished。　　She　was　wearing　a　satin　dress　of　sky…blue　…　my　favourite　colour　…　and　a　piece　of　lace；　which　Mrs。　James　lent　her；　round　the　shoulders；　to　give　a　finish。　　I　thought　perhaps　the　dress　was　a　little　too　long　behind；　and　decidedly　too　short　in　front；　but　Mrs。　James　said　it　was　E　LA　MODE。　　Mrs。　James　was　most　kind；　and　lent　Carrie　a　fan　of　ivory　with　red　feathers；　the　value　of　which；　she　said；　was　priceless；　as　the　feathers　belonged　to　the　Kachu　eagle　…　a　bird　now　extinct。　　I　preferred　the　little　white　fan　which　Carrie　bought　for　three…and…six　at　Shoolbred's；　but　both　ladies　sat　on　me　at　once。
  We　arrived　at　the　Mansion　House　too　early；　which　was　rather　fortunate；　for　I　had　an　opportunity　of　speaking　to　his　lordship；　who　graciously　condescended　to　talk　with　me　some　minutes；　but　I　must　say　I　was　disappointed　to　find　he　did　not　even　know　Mr。　Perkupp；　our　principal。
  I　felt　as　if　we　had　been　invited　to　the　Mansion　House　by　one　who　did　not　know　the　Lord　Mayor　himself。　　Crowds　arrived；　and　I　shall　never　forget　the　grand　sight。　　My　humble　pen　can　never　describe　it。　I　was　a　little　annoyed　with　Carrie；　who　kept　saying：　　〃Isn't　it　a　pity　we　don't　know　anybody？〃
  Once　she　quite　lost　her　head。　　I　saw　someone　who　looked　like　Franching；　from　Peckham；　and　was　moving　towards　him　when　she　seized　me　by　the　coat…tails；　and　said　quite　loudly：　　〃Don't　leave　me；〃　which　caused　an　elderly　gentleman；　in　a　court…suit；　and　a　chain　round　him；　and　two　ladies；　to　burst　out　laughing。　　There　was　an　immense　crowd　in　the　supper…room；　and；　my　stars！　it　was　a　splendid　supper　…　any　amount　of　champagne。
  Carrie　made　a　most　hearty　supper；　for　which　I　was　pleased；　for　I　sometimes　think　she　is　not　strong。　　There　was　scarcely　a　dish　she　did　not　taste。　　I　was　so　thirsty；　I　could　not　eat　much。　　Receiving　a　sharp　slap　on　the　shoulder；　I　turned；　and；　to　my　amazement；　saw　Farmerson；　our　ironmonger。　　He　said；　in　the　most　familiar　way：　〃This　is　better　than　Brickfield　Terrace；　eh？〃　　I　simply　looked　at　him；　and　said　coolly：　　〃I　never　expected　to　see　you　here。〃　　He　said；　with　a　loud；　coarse　laugh：　　〃I　like　that　…　if　YOU；　why　not　ME？〃　　I　replied：　　〃Certainly；〃　I　wish　I　could　have　thought　of　something　better　to　say。　　He　said：　　〃Can　I　get　your　good　lady　anything？〃　　Carrie　said：　　〃No；　I　thank　you；〃　for　which　I　was　pleased。　　I　said；　by　way　of　reproof　to　him：　　〃You　never　sent　to…day　to　paint　the　bath；　as　I　requested。〃　　Farmerson　said：　　〃Pardon　me；　Mr。　Pooter；　no　shop　when　we're　in　company；　please。〃
  Before　I　co