pected　result。
  April　19。　…　Cummings　called；　bringing　with　him　his　friend　Merton；　who　is　in　the　wine　trade。　　Gowing　also　called。　　Mr。　Merton　made　himself　at　home　at　once；　and　Carrie　and　I　were　both　struck　with　him　immediately；　and　thoroughly　approved　of　his　sentiments。
  He　leaned　back　in　his　chair　and　said：　　〃You　must　take　me　as　I　am；〃　and　I　replied：　　〃Yes　…　and　you　must　take　us　as　we　are。　　We're　homely　people；　we　are　not　swells。〃
  He　answered：　　〃No；　I　can　see　that；〃　and　Gowing　roared　with　laughter；　but　Merton　in　a　most　gentlemanly　manner　said　to　Gowing：　〃I　don't　think　you　quite　understand　me。　　I　intended　to　convey　that　our　charming　host　and　hostess　were　superior　to　the　follies　of　fashion；　and　preferred　leading　a　simple　and　wholesome　life　to　gadding　about　to　twopenny…halfpenny　tea…drinking　afternoons；　and　living　above　their　incomes。〃
  I　was　immensely　pleased　with　these　sensible　remarks　of　Merton's；　and　concluded　that　subject　by　saying：　　〃No；　candidly；　Mr。　Merton；　we　don't　go　into　Society；　because　we　do　not　care　for　it；　and　what　with　the　expense　of　cabs　here　and　cabs　there；　and　white　gloves　and　white　ties；　etc。；　it　doesn't　seem　worth　the　money。〃
  Merton　said　in　reference　to　FRIENDS：　　〃My　motto　is　'Few　and　True；'　and；　by　the　way；　I　also　apply　that　to　wine；　'Little　and　Good。'〃　Gowing　said：　　〃Yes；　and　sometimes　'cheap　and　tasty；'　eh；　old　man？〃　Merton；　still　continuing；　said　he　should　treat　me　as　a　friend；　and　put　me　down　for　a　dozen　of　his　〃Lockanbar〃　whisky；　and　as　I　was　an　old　friend　of　Gowing；　I　should　have　it　for　36s。；　which　was　considerably　under　what　he　paid　for　it。
  He　booked　his　own　order；　and　further　said　that　at　any　time　I　wanted　any　passes　for　the　theatre　I　was　to　let　him　know；　as　his　name　stood　good　for　any　theatre　in　London。
  April　20。　…　Carrie　reminded　me　that　as　her　old　school　friend；　Annie　Fullers　（now　Mrs。　James）；　and　her　husband　had　come　up　from　Sutton　for　a　few　days；　it　would　look　kind　to　take　them　to　the　theatre；　and　would　I　drop　a　line　to　Mr。　Merton　asking　him　for　passes　for　four；　either　for　the　Italian　Opera；　Haymarket；　Savoy；　or　Lyceum。　　I　wrote　Merton　to　that　effect。
  April　21。　…　Got　a　reply　from　Merton；　saying　he　was　very　busy；　and　just　at　present　couldn't　manage　passes　for　the　Italian　Opera；　Haymarket；　Savoy；　or　Lyceum；　but　the　best　thing　going　on　in　London　was　the　BROWN　BUSHES；　at　the　Tank　Theatre；　Islington；　and　enclosed　seats　for　four；　also　bill　for　whisky。
  April　23。　…　Mr。　and　Mrs。　James　（Miss　Fullers　that　was）　came　to　meat　tea；　and　we　left　directly　after　for　the　Tank　Theatre。　　We　got　a　'bus　that　took　us　to　King's　Cross；　and　then　changed　into　one　that　took　us　to　the　〃Angel。〃　　Mr。　James　each　time　insisted　on　paying　for　all；　saying　that　I　had　paid　for　the　tickets　and　that　was　quite　enough。
  We　arrived　at　theatre；　where；　curiously　enough；　all　our　'bus…load　except　an　old　woman　with　a　basket　seemed　to　be　going　in。　　I　walked　ahead　and　presented　the　tickets。　　The　man　looked　at　them；　and　called　out：　　〃Mr。　Willowly！　do　you　know　anything　about　these？〃　holding　up　my　tickets。　　The　gentleman　called　to；　came　up　and　examined　my　tickets；　and　said：　　〃Who　gave　you　these？〃　　I　said；　rather　indignantly：　　〃Mr。　Merton；　of　course。〃　　He　said：　　〃Merton？　Who's　he？〃　　I　answered；　rather　sharply：　　〃You　ought　to　know；　his　name's　good　at　any　theatre　in　London。〃　　He　replied：　　〃Oh！　is　it？　Well；　it　ain't　no　good　here。　　These　tickets；　which　are　not　dated；　were　issued　under　Mr。　Swinstead's　management；　which　has　since　changed　hands。〃　　While　I　was　having　some　very　unpleasant　words　with　the　man；　James；　who　had　gone　upstairs　with　the　ladies；　called　out：　〃Come　on！〃　　I　went　up　after　them；　and　a　very　civil　attendant　said：　〃This　way；　please；　box　H。〃　　I　said　to　James：　　〃Why；　how　on　earth　did　you　manage　it？〃　and　to　my　horror　he　replied：　　〃Why；　paid　for　it　of　course。〃
  This　was　humiliating　enough；　and　I　could　scarcely　follow　the　play；　but　I　was　doomed　to　still　further　humiliation。　　I　was　leaning　out　of　the　box；　when　my　tie　…　a　little　black　bow　which　fastened　on　to　the　stud　by　means　of　a　new　patent　…　fell　into　the　pit　below。　　A　clumsy　man　not　noticing　it；　had　his　foot　on　it　for　ever　so　long　before　he　discovered　it。　　He　then　picked　it　up　and　eventually　flung　it　under　the　next　seat　in　disgust。　　What　with　the　box　incident　and　the　tie；　I　felt　quite　miserable。　　Mr。　James；　of　Sutton；　was　very　good。　　He　said：　　〃Don't　worry　…　no　one　will　notice　it　with　your　beard。　　That　is　the　only　advantage　of　growing　one　that　I　can　see。〃　There　was　no　occasion　for　that　remark；　for　Carrie　is　very　proud　of　my　beard。
  To　hide　the　absence　of　the　tie　I　had　to　keep　my　chin　down　the　rest　of　the　evening；　which　caused　a　pain　at　the　back　of　my　neck。
  April　24。　…　Could　scarcely　sleep　a　wink　through　thinking　of　having　brought　up　Mr。　and　Mrs。　James　from　the　country　to　go　to　the　theatre　last　night；　and　his　having　paid　for　a　private　box　because　our　order　was　not　honoured；　and　such　a　poor　play　too。　　I　wrote　a　very　satirical　letter　to　Merton；　the　wine　merchant；　who　gave　us　the　pass；　and　said；　〃Considering　we　had　to　pay　for　our　seats；　we　did　our　best　to　appreciate　the　performance。〃　　I　thought　this　line　rather　cutting；　and　I　asked　Carrie　how　many　p's　there　were　in　appreciate；　and　she　said；　〃One。〃　　After　I　sent　off　the　letter　I　looked　at　the　dictionary　and　found　there　were　two。　　Awfully　vexed　at　this。
  Decided　not　to　worry　myself　any　more　about　the　James's；　for；　as　Carrie　wisely　said；　〃We'll　make　it　all　right　with　them　by　asking　them　up　from　Sutton　one　evening　next　week　to　play　at　Bezique。〃
  April　25。　…　In　consequence　of　Brickwell　telling　me　his　wife　was　working　wonders　with　the　new　Pinkford's　enamel　paint；　I　determined　to　try　it。　　I　bought　two　tins　of　red　on　my　way　home。　　I　hastened　through　tea；　went　into　the　garden　and　painted　some　flower…pots。　　I　called　out　Carrie；　who　said：　　〃You've　always　got　some　newfangled　craze；〃　but　she　was　obliged　to　admit　that　the　flower…pots　looked　remarkably　well。　　Went　upstairs　into　the　servant's　bedroom　and　painted　her　washstand；　towel…horse；　and　chest　of　drawers。　　To　my　mind　it　was　an　extraordinary　improvement；　but　as　an　example　of　the　ignorance　of　the　lower　classes　in　the　matter　of　taste；　our　servant；　Sarah；　on　seeing　them；　evinced　no　sign　of　pleasure；　but　merely　said　〃she　thought　they　looked　very　well　as　they　was　before。〃
  April　26。　…　Got　some　more　red　enamel　paint　（red；　to　my　mind；　being　the　best　colour）；　and　painted　the　coal…scuttle；　and　the　backs　of　our　SHAKSPEARE；　the　binding　of　which　had　almost　worn　out。
  April　27。　…　Painted　the　bath　red；　and　was　delighted　with　the　result。　　Sorry　to　say　Carrie　was　not；　in　fact　we　had　a　few　words　about　it。　　She　said　I　ought　to　have　consulted　her；　and　she　had　never　heard　of　such　a　thing　as　a　bath　being　painted　red。　　I　replied：　　〃It's　merely　a　matter　of　taste。〃
  Fortunately；　further　argument　on　the　subject　was　stopped　by　a　voice　saying；　〃May　I　come　in？〃　　It　was　only　Cummings；　who　said；　〃Your　maid　opened　the　door；　and　asked　me　to　excuse　her　showing　me　in；　as　she　was　wringing　out　some　socks。〃　　I　was　delighted　to　see　him；　and　suggested　we　should　have　a　game　of　whist　with　a　dummy；　and　by　way　of　merriment　said：　　〃You　can　be　the　dummy。〃　　Cummings　（I　thought　rather　ill…naturedly）　replied：　　〃Funny　as　usual。〃　　He　said　he　couldn't　stop；　he　only　called　to　leave　me　the　BICYCLE　NEWS；　as　he　had　done　with　it。
  Another　ring　at　the　bell；　it　was　Gowing；　who　said　he　〃must　apologise　for　coming　so　often；　and　that　one　of　these　days　we　must　come　round　to　HIM。〃　　I　said：　　〃A　very　extraordinary　thing　has　struck　me。〃　　〃Something　funny；　as　usual；〃　said　Cummings。　　〃Yes；〃　I　replied；　〃I　think　even　you　will　say　so　this　time。　　It's　concerning　you　both；　for　doesn't　it　seem　odd　that　Gowing's　always　coming　and　Cummings'　always　going？〃　　Carrie；　who　had　evidently　quite　forgotten　about　the　bath；　went　into　fits　of　laughter；　and　as　for　myself；　I　fairly　doubled　up　in　my　chair；　till　it　cracked　beneath　me。　　I　think　this　was　one　of　the　best　jokes　I　have　ever　made。
  Then　imagine　my　astonishment　on　perceiving　both　Cummings　and　Gowing　perfectly　silent；　and　without　a　smile　on　their　faces。　　After　rather　an　unpleasant　pause；　Cummings；　who　had　opened　a　cigar…case；　closed　it　up　again　and　said：　　〃Yes　…　I　think；　after　that；　I　SHALL　be　going；　and　I　am　sorry　I　fail　to　see　the　fun　of　your　jokes。〃　　Gowing　said　he　didn't　mind　a　joke　when　it　wasn't　rude；　but　a　pun　on　a　name；　to　his　thinking；　was　certainly　a　little　wanting　in　good　taste。　　Cummings　followed　it　up　by　saying；　if　it　had　been　said　by　anyone　else　but　myself；　he　shouldn't　have　entered　the　house　again。　This　rather　unpleasantly　terminated　what　might　have　been　a　cheerful　evening。　　However；　it　was　as　well　they　went；　for　the　charwoman　had　finished　up　the　remains　of　the　cold　pork。
  April　28。　…　At　the　office；　the　new　and　very　young　clerk　Pitt；　who　was　very　impudent　to　me　a　week　or　so　ago；　was　late　again。　　I　told　him　it　would　be　my　duty　to　inform　Mr。　Perkupp；　the　principal。　　To　my　surprise；　Pitt　apologised　most　humbly　and　in　a　most　gentlemanly　fashion。　　I　was　unfeignedly　pleased　to　notice　this　improvement　in　his　manner　towards　me；　and　told　him　I　would　look　over　his　unpunctuality。　　Passing　down　the　room　an　hour　later。　　I　received　a　smart　smack　in　the　face　from　a　rolled…up　ball　of　hard　foolscap。　　I　tur