第 2 节
作者:博搏      更新:2021-02-20 04:24      字数:9321
  s; and not always cautious; and Carrie once very properly reminded him that she was present。
  April 11。 … Mustard…and…cress and radishes not come up yet。  To…day was a day of annoyances。  I missed the quarter…to…nine 'bus to the City; through having words with the grocer's boy; who for the second time had the impertinence to bring his basket to the hall… door; and had left the marks of his dirty boots on the fresh… cleaned door…steps。  He said he had knocked at the side door with his knuckles for a quarter of an hour。  I knew Sarah; our servant; could not hear this; as she was upstairs doing the bedrooms; so asked the boy why he did not ring the bell?  He replied that he did pull the bell; but the handle came off in his hand。
  I was half…an…hour late at the office; a thing that has never happened to me before。  There has recently been much irregularity in the attendance of the clerks; and Mr。 Perkupp; our principal; unfortunately choose this very morning to pounce down upon us early。  Someone had given the tip to the others。  The result was that I was the only one late of the lot。  Buckling; one of the senior clerks; was a brick; and I was saved by his intervention。 As I passed by Pitt's desk; I heard him remark to his neighbour: 〃How disgracefully late some of the head clerks arrive!〃  This was; of course; meant for me。  I treated the observation with silence; simply giving him a look; which unfortunately had the effect of making both of the clerks laugh。  Thought afterwards it would have been more dignified if I had pretended not to have heard him at all。  Cummings called in the evening; and we played dominoes。
  April 12。 … Mustard…and…cress and radishes not come up yet。  Left Farmerson repairing the scraper; but when I came home found three men working。  I asked the meaning of it; and Farmerson said that in making a fresh hole he had penetrated the gas…pipe。  He said it was a most ridiculous place to put the gas…pipe; and the man who did it evidently knew nothing about his business。  I felt his excuse was no consolation for the expense I shall be put to。
  In the evening; after tea; Gowing dropped in; and we had a smoke together in the breakfast…parlour。  Carrie joined us later; but did not stay long; saying the smoke was too much for her。  It was also rather too much for me; for Gowing had given me what he called a green cigar; one that his friend Shoemach had just brought over from America。  The cigar didn't look green; but I fancy I must have done so; for when I had smoked a little more than half I was obliged to retire on the pretext of telling Sarah to bring in the glasses。
  I took a walk round the garden three or four times; feeling the need of fresh air。  On returning Gowing noticed I was not smoking: offered me another cigar; which I politely declined。  Gowing began his usual sniffing; so; anticipating him; I said:  〃You're not going to complain of the smell of paint again?〃  He said:  〃No; not this time; but I'll tell you what; I distinctly smell dry rot。〃  I don't often make jokes; but I replied:  〃You're talking a lot of DRY ROT yourself。〃  I could not help roaring at this; and Carrie said her sides quite ached with laughter。  I never was so immensely tickled by anything I have ever said before。  I actually woke up twice during the night; and laughed till the bed shook。
  April 13。 … An extraordinary coincidence:  Carrie had called in a woman to make some chintz covers for our drawing…room chairs and sofa to prevent the sun fading the green rep of the furniture。  I saw the woman; and recognised her as a woman who used to work years ago for my old aunt at Clapham。  It only shows how small the world is。
  April 14。 … Spent the whole of the afternoon in the garden; having this morning picked up at a bookstall for fivepence a capital little book; in good condition; on GARDENING。  I procured and sowed some half…hardy annuals in what I fancy will be a warm; sunny border。  I thought of a joke; and called out Carrie。  Carrie came out rather testy; I thought。  I said:  〃I have just discovered we have got a lodging…house。〃  She replied:  〃How do you mean?〃  I said:  〃Look at the BOARDERS。〃  Carrie said:  〃Is that all you wanted me for?〃  I said:  〃Any other time you would have laughed at my little pleasantry。〃  Carrie said:  〃Certainly … AT ANY OTHER TIME; but not when I am busy in the house。〃  The stairs looked very nice。  Gowing called; and said the stairs looked ALL RIGHT; but it made the banisters look ALL WRONG; and suggested a coat of paint on them also; which Carrie quite agreed with。  I walked round to Putley; and fortunately he was out; so I had a good excuse to let the banisters slide。  By…the…by; that is rather funny。
  April 15; Sunday。 … At three o'clock Cummings and Gowing called for a good long walk over Hampstead and Finchley; and brought with them a friend named Stillbrook。  We walked and chatted together; except Stillbrook; who was always a few yards behind us staring at the ground and cutting at the grass with his stick。
  As it was getting on for five; we four held a consultation; and Gowing suggested that we should make for 〃The Cow and Hedge〃 and get some tea。  Stillbrook said:  〃A brandy…and…soda was good enough for him。〃  I reminded them that all public…houses were closed till six o'clock。  Stillbrook said; 〃That's all right … BONA…FIDE travellers。〃
  We arrived; and as I was trying to pass; the man in charge of the gate said:  〃Where from?〃  I replied:  〃Holloway。〃  He immediately put up his arm; and declined to let me pass。  I turned back for a moment; when I saw Stillbrook; closely followed by Cummings and Gowing; make for the entrance。  I watched them; and thought I would have a good laugh at their expense; I heard the porter say:  〃Where from?〃  When; to my surprise; in fact disgust; Stillbrook replied: 〃Blackheath;〃 and the three were immediately admitted。
  Gowing called to me across the gate; and said:  〃We shan't be a minute。〃  I waited for them the best part of an hour。  When they appeared they were all in most excellent spirits; and the only one who made an effort to apologise was Mr。 Stillbrook; who said to me: 〃It was very rough on you to be kept waiting; but we had another spin for S。 and B。's。〃  I walked home in silence; I couldn't speak to them。  I felt very dull all the evening; but deemed it advisable NOT to say anything to Carrie about the matter。
  April 16。 … After business; set to work in the garden。  When it got dark I wrote to Cummings and Gowing (who neither called; for a wonder; perhaps they were ashamed of themselves) about yesterday's adventure at 〃The Cow and Hedge。〃  Afterwards made up my mind not to write YET。
  April 17。 … Thought I would write a kind little note to Gowing and Cummings about last Sunday; and warning them against Mr。 Stillbrook。  Afterwards; thinking the matter over; tore up the letters and determined not to WRITE at all; but to SPEAK quietly to them。  Dumfounded at receiving a sharp letter from Cummings; saying that both he and Gowing had been waiting for an explanation of MY (mind you; MY) extraordinary conduct coming home on Sunday。  At last I wrote:  〃I thought I was the aggrieved party; but as I freely forgive you; you … feeling yourself aggrieved … should bestow forgiveness on me。〃  I have copied this VERBATIM in the diary; because I think it is one of the most perfect and thoughtful sentences I have ever written。  I posted the letter; but in my own heart I felt I was actually apologising for having been insulted。
  April 18。 … Am in for a cold。  Spent the whole day at the office sneezing。  In the evening; the cold being intolerable; sent Sarah out for a bottle of Kinahan。  Fell asleep in the arm…chair; and woke with the shivers。  Was startled by a loud knock at the front door。  Carrie awfully flurried。  Sarah still out; so went up; opened the door; and found it was only Cummings。  Remembered the grocer's boy had again broken the side…bell。  Cummings squeezed my hand; and said:  〃I've just seen Gowing。  All right。  Say no more about it。〃  There is no doubt they are both under the impression I have apologised。
  While playing dominoes with Cummings in the parlour; he said:  〃By… the…by; do you want any wine or spirits?  My cousin Merton has just set up in the trade; and has a splendid whisky; four years in bottle; at thirty…eight shillings。  It is worth your while laying down a few dozen of it。〃  I told him my cellars; which were very small; were full up。  To my horror; at that very moment; Sarah entered the room; and putting a bottle of whisky; wrapped in a dirty piece of newspaper; on the table in front of us; said: 〃Please; sir; the grocer says he ain't got no more Kinahan; but you'll find this very good at two…and…six; with twopence returned on the bottle; and; please; did you want any more sherry? as he has some at one…and…three; as dry as a nut!〃
  CHAPTER III。
  A conversation with Mr。 Merton on Society。  Mr。 and Mrs。 James; of Sutton; come up。  A miserable evening at the Tank Theatre。 Experiments with enamel paint。  I make another good joke; but Gowing and Cummings are unnecessarily offended。  I paint the bath red; with unexpected result。
  April 19。 … Cummings called; bringing with him his friend Merton; who is in the