第 2 节
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s; and not always cautious; and Carrie once very properly reminded him that she was present。
April 11。 … Mustard…and…cress and radishes not come up yet。 To…day was a day of annoyances。 I missed the quarter…to…nine 'bus to the City; through having words with the grocer's boy; who for the second time had the impertinence to bring his basket to the hall… door; and had left the marks of his dirty boots on the fresh… cleaned door…steps。 He said he had knocked at the side door with his knuckles for a quarter of an hour。 I knew Sarah; our servant; could not hear this; as she was upstairs doing the bedrooms; so asked the boy why he did not ring the bell? He replied that he did pull the bell; but the handle came off in his hand。
I was half…an…hour late at the office; a thing that has never happened to me before。 There has recently been much irregularity in the attendance of the clerks; and Mr。 Perkupp; our principal; unfortunately choose this very morning to pounce down upon us early。 Someone had given the tip to the others。 The result was that I was the only one late of the lot。 Buckling; one of the senior clerks; was a brick; and I was saved by his intervention。 As I passed by Pitt's desk; I heard him remark to his neighbour: 〃How disgracefully late some of the head clerks arrive!〃 This was; of course; meant for me。 I treated the observation with silence; simply giving him a look; which unfortunately had the effect of making both of the clerks laugh。 Thought afterwards it would have been more dignified if I had pretended not to have heard him at all。 Cummings called in the evening; and we played dominoes。
April 12。 … Mustard…and…cress and radishes not come up yet。 Left Farmerson repairing the scraper; but when I came home found three men working。 I asked the meaning of it; and Farmerson said that in making a fresh hole he had penetrated the gas…pipe。 He said it was a most ridiculous place to put the gas…pipe; and the man who did it evidently knew nothing about his business。 I felt his excuse was no consolation for the expense I shall be put to。
In the evening; after tea; Gowing dropped in; and we had a smoke together in the breakfast…parlour。 Carrie joined us later; but did not stay long; saying the smoke was too much for her。 It was also rather too much for me; for Gowing had given me what he called a green cigar; one that his friend Shoemach had just brought over from America。 The cigar didn't look green; but I fancy I must have done so; for when I had smoked a little more than half I was obliged to retire on the pretext of telling Sarah to bring in the glasses。
I took a walk round the garden three or four times; feeling the need of fresh air。 On returning Gowing noticed I was not smoking: offered me another cigar; which I politely declined。 Gowing began his usual sniffing; so; anticipating him; I said: 〃You're not going to complain of the smell of paint again?〃 He said: 〃No; not this time; but I'll tell you what; I distinctly smell dry rot。〃 I don't often make jokes; but I replied: 〃You're talking a lot of DRY ROT yourself。〃 I could not help roaring at this; and Carrie said her sides quite ached with laughter。 I never was so immensely tickled by anything I have ever said before。 I actually woke up twice during the night; and laughed till the bed shook。
April 13。 … An extraordinary coincidence: Carrie had called in a woman to make some chintz covers for our drawing…room chairs and sofa to prevent the sun fading the green rep of the furniture。 I saw the woman; and recognised her as a woman who used to work years ago for my old aunt at Clapham。 It only shows how small the world is。
April 14。 … Spent the whole of the afternoon in the garden; having this morning picked up at a bookstall for fivepence a capital little book; in good condition; on GARDENING。 I procured and sowed some half…hardy annuals in what I fancy will be a warm; sunny border。 I thought of a joke; and called out Carrie。 Carrie came out rather testy; I thought。 I said: 〃I have just discovered we have got a lodging…house。〃 She replied: 〃How do you mean?〃 I said: 〃Look at the BOARDERS。〃 Carrie said: 〃Is that all you wanted me for?〃 I said: 〃Any other time you would have laughed at my little pleasantry。〃 Carrie said: 〃Certainly … AT ANY OTHER TIME; but not when I am busy in the house。〃 The stairs looked very nice。 Gowing called; and said the stairs looked ALL RIGHT; but it made the banisters look ALL WRONG; and suggested a coat of paint on them also; which Carrie quite agreed with。 I walked round to Putley; and fortunately he was out; so I had a good excuse to let the banisters slide。 By…the…by; that is rather funny。
April 15; Sunday。 … At three o'clock Cummings and Gowing called for a good long walk over Hampstead and Finchley; and brought with them a friend named Stillbrook。 We walked and chatted together; except Stillbrook; who was always a few yards behind us staring at the ground and cutting at the grass with his stick。
As it was getting on for five; we four held a consultation; and Gowing suggested that we should make for 〃The Cow and Hedge〃 and get some tea。 Stillbrook said: 〃A brandy…and…soda was good enough for him。〃 I reminded them that all public…houses were closed till six o'clock。 Stillbrook said; 〃That's all right … BONA…FIDE travellers。〃
We arrived; and as I was trying to pass; the man in charge of the gate said: 〃Where from?〃 I replied: 〃Holloway。〃 He immediately put up his arm; and declined to let me pass。 I turned back for a moment; when I saw Stillbrook; closely followed by Cummings and Gowing; make for the entrance。 I watched them; and thought I would have a good laugh at their expense; I heard the porter say: 〃Where from?〃 When; to my surprise; in fact disgust; Stillbrook replied: 〃Blackheath;〃 and the three were immediately admitted。
Gowing called to me across the gate; and said: 〃We shan't be a minute。〃 I waited for them the best part of an hour。 When they appeared they were all in most excellent spirits; and the only one who made an effort to apologise was Mr。 Stillbrook; who said to me: 〃It was very rough on you to be kept waiting; but we had another spin for S。 and B。's。〃 I walked home in silence; I couldn't speak to them。 I felt very dull all the evening; but deemed it advisable NOT to say anything to Carrie about the matter。
April 16。 … After business; set to work in the garden。 When it got dark I wrote to Cummings and Gowing (who neither called; for a wonder; perhaps they were ashamed of themselves) about yesterday's adventure at 〃The Cow and Hedge。〃 Afterwards made up my mind not to write YET。
April 17。 … Thought I would write a kind little note to Gowing and Cummings about last Sunday; and warning them against Mr。 Stillbrook。 Afterwards; thinking the matter over; tore up the letters and determined not to WRITE at all; but to SPEAK quietly to them。 Dumfounded at receiving a sharp letter from Cummings; saying that both he and Gowing had been waiting for an explanation of MY (mind you; MY) extraordinary conduct coming home on Sunday。 At last I wrote: 〃I thought I was the aggrieved party; but as I freely forgive you; you … feeling yourself aggrieved … should bestow forgiveness on me。〃 I have copied this VERBATIM in the diary; because I think it is one of the most perfect and thoughtful sentences I have ever written。 I posted the letter; but in my own heart I felt I was actually apologising for having been insulted。
April 18。 … Am in for a cold。 Spent the whole day at the office sneezing。 In the evening; the cold being intolerable; sent Sarah out for a bottle of Kinahan。 Fell asleep in the arm…chair; and woke with the shivers。 Was startled by a loud knock at the front door。 Carrie awfully flurried。 Sarah still out; so went up; opened the door; and found it was only Cummings。 Remembered the grocer's boy had again broken the side…bell。 Cummings squeezed my hand; and said: 〃I've just seen Gowing。 All right。 Say no more about it。〃 There is no doubt they are both under the impression I have apologised。
While playing dominoes with Cummings in the parlour; he said: 〃By… the…by; do you want any wine or spirits? My cousin Merton has just set up in the trade; and has a splendid whisky; four years in bottle; at thirty…eight shillings。 It is worth your while laying down a few dozen of it。〃 I told him my cellars; which were very small; were full up。 To my horror; at that very moment; Sarah entered the room; and putting a bottle of whisky; wrapped in a dirty piece of newspaper; on the table in front of us; said: 〃Please; sir; the grocer says he ain't got no more Kinahan; but you'll find this very good at two…and…six; with twopence returned on the bottle; and; please; did you want any more sherry? as he has some at one…and…three; as dry as a nut!〃
CHAPTER III。
A conversation with Mr。 Merton on Society。 Mr。 and Mrs。 James; of Sutton; come up。 A miserable evening at the Tank Theatre。 Experiments with enamel paint。 I make another good joke; but Gowing and Cummings are unnecessarily offended。 I paint the bath red; with unexpected result。
April 19。 … Cummings called; bringing with him his friend Merton; who is in the