第 8 节
作者:
淘气 更新:2021-02-20 04:22 字数:9322
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Some Short Christmas Stories
wishes me to make no further allusion。
The supposition as to my present pursuits and habits is to the
following effect。
I live in a lodging in the Clapham Roada very clean back room; in a
very respectable housewhere I am expected not to be at home in the day…
time; unless poorly; and which I usually leave in the morning at nine
o'clock; on pretence of going to business。 I take my breakfastmy roll
and butter; and my half…pint of coffeeat the old…established coffee…shop
near Westminster Bridge; and then I go into the CityI don't know why
and sit in Garraway's Coffee House; and on 'Change; and walk about; and
look into a few offices and counting…houses where some of my relations or
acquaintance are so good as to tolerate me; and where I stand by the fire if
the weather happens to be cold。 I get through the day in this way until
five o'clock; and then I dine: at a cost; on the average; of one and
threepence。 Having still a little money to spend on my evening's
entertainment; I look into the old…established coffee…shop as I go home;
and take my cup of tea; and perhaps my bit of toast。 So; as the large hand
of the clock makes its way round to the morning hour again; I make my
way round to the Clapham Road again; and go to bed when I get to my
lodgingfire being expensive; and being objected to by the family on
account of its giving trouble and making a dirt。
Sometimes; one of my relations or acquaintances is so obliging as to
ask me to dinner。 Those are holiday occasions; and then I generally walk
in the Park。 I am a solitary man; and seldom walk with anybody。 Not
that I am avoided because I am shabby; for I am not at all shabby; having
always a very good suit of black on (or rather Oxford mixture; which has
the appearance of black and wears much better); but I have got into a habit
of speaking low; and being rather silent; and my spirits are not high; and I
am sensible that I am not an attractive companion。
The only exception to this general rule is the child of my first cousin;
Little Frank。 I have a particular affection for that child; and he takes very
kindly to me。 He is a diffident boy by nature; and in a crowd he is soon
run over; as I may say; and forgotten。 He and I; however; get on
exceedingly well。 I have a fancy that the poor child will in time succeed
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to my peculiar position in the family。 We talk but little; still; we
understand each other。 We walk about; hand in hand; and without much
speaking he knows what I mean; and I know what he means。 When he
was very little indeed; I used to take him to the windows of the toy…shops;
and show him the toys inside。 It is surprising how soon he found out that
I would have made him a great many presents if I had been in
circumstances to do it。
Little Frank and I go and look at the outside of the Monumenthe is
very fond of the Monumentand at the Bridges; and at all the sights that
are free。 On two of my birthdays; we have dined on e…la…mode beef; and
gone at half…price to the play; and been deeply interested。 I was once
walking with him in Lombard Street; which we often visit on account of
my having mentioned to him that there are great riches therehe is very
fond of Lombard Streetwhen a gentleman said to me as he passed by;
〃Sir; your little son has dropped his glove。〃 I assure you; if you will
excuse my remarking on so trivial a circumstance; this accidental mention
of the child as mine; quite touched my heart and brought the foolish tears
into my eyes。
When Little Frank is sent to school in the country; I shall be very much
at a loss what to do with myself; but I have the intention of walking down
there once a month and seeing him on a half holiday。 I am told he will
then be at play upon the Heath; and if my visits should be objected to; as
unsettling the child; I can see him from a distance without his seeing me;
and walk back again。 His mother comes of a highly genteel family; and
rather disapproves; I am aware; of our being too much together。 I know
that I am not calculated to improve his retiring disposition; but I think he
would miss me beyond the feeling of the moment if we were wholly
separated。
When I die in the Clapham Road; I shall not leave much more in this
world than I shall take out of it; but; I happen to have a miniature of a
bright…faced boy; with a curling head; and an open shirt…frill waving down
his bosom (my mother had it taken for me; but I can't believe that it was
ever like); which will be worth nothing to sell; and which I shall beg may
he given to Frank。 I have written my dear boy a little letter with it; in
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Some Short Christmas Stories
which I have told him that I felt very sorry to part from him; though bound
to confess that I knew no reason why I should remain here。 I have given
him some short advice; the best in my power; to take warning of the
consequences of being nobody's enemy but his own; and I have
endeavoured to comfort him for what I fear he will consider a
bereavement; by pointing out to him; that I was only a superfluous
something to every one but him; and that having by some means failed to
find a place in this great assembly; I am better out of it。
Such (said the poor relation; clearing his throat and beginning to speak
a little louder) is the general impression about me。 Now; it is a
remarkable circumstance which forms the aim and purpose of my story;
that this is all wrong。 This is not my life; and these are not my habits。 I
do not even live in the Clapham Road。 Comparatively speaking; I am very
seldom there。 I reside; mostly; in aI am almost ashamed to say the
word; it sounds so full of pretensionin a Castle。 I do not mean that it is
an old baronial habitation; but still it is a building always known to every
one by the name of a Castle。 In it; I preserve the particulars of my
history; they run thus:
It was when I first took John Spatter (who had been my clerk) into
partnership; and when I was still a young man of not more than five… and…
twenty; residing in the house of my uncle Chill; from whom I had
considerable expectations; that I ventured to propose to Christiana。 I had
loved Christiana a long time。 She was very beautiful; and very winning
in all respects。 I rather mistrusted her widowed mother; who I feared was
of a plotting and mercenary turn of mind; but; I thought as well of her as I
could; for Christiana's sake。 I never had loved any one but Christiana;
and she had been all the world; and O far more than all the world; to me;
from our childhood!
Christiana accepted me with her mother's consent; and I was rendered
very happy indeed。 My life at my uncle Chill's was of a spare dull kind;
and my garret chamber was as dull; and bare; and cold; as an upper prison
room in some stern northern fortress。 But; having Christiana's love; I
wanted nothing upon earth。 I would not have changed my lot with any
human being。
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Avarice was; unhappily; my uncle Chill's master…vice。 Though he
was rich; he pinched; and scraped; and clutched; and lived miserably。 As
Christiana had no fortune; I was for some time a little fearful of confessing
our engagement to him; but; at length I wrote him a letter; saying how it
all truly was。 I put it into his hand one night; on going to bed。
As I came down…stairs next morning; shivering in the cold December
air; colder in my uncle's unwarmed house than in the street; where the
winter