第 15 节
作者:敏儿不觉      更新:2021-02-19 21:45      字数:9321
  good woman attended with her bill it contained as follows:
  L。       s。     d。
  Bread and beer                        0        2      4
  Wind                                  0        2      0
  Rum                                   0        2      0
  Dressing dinner                       0        3      0
  Tea                                   0        1      6
  Firing                                0        1      0
  Lodging                               0        1      6
  Servants' lodging                     0        0      6
  …
  L 0       13     10
  Now that five people and two servants should live a day and night
  at a public…house for so small a sum will appear incredible to
  any person in London above the degree of a chimney…sweeper; but
  more astonishing will it seem that these people should remain so
  long at such a house without tasting any other delicacy than
  bread; small beer; a teacupful of milk called cream; a glass of
  rum converted into punch by their own materials; and one bottle
  of wind; of which we only tasted a single glass though possibly;
  indeed; our servants drank the remainder of the bottle。
  This wind is a liquor of English manufacture; and its flavor is
  thought very delicious by the generality of the English; who
  drink it in great quantities。  Every seventh year is thought to
  produce as much as the other six。  It is then drank so
  plentifully that the whole nation are in a manner intoxicated by
  it; and consequently very little business is carried on at that
  season。  It resembles in color the red wine which is imported
  from Portugal; as it doth in its intoxicating quality; hence; and
  from this agreement in the orthography; the one is often
  confounded with the other; though both are seldom esteemed by the
  same person。  It is to be had in every parish of the kingdom; and
  a pretty large quantity is consumed in the metropolis; where
  several taverns are set apart solely for the vendition of this
  liquor; the masters never dealing in any other。  The disagreement
  in our computation produced some small remonstrance to Mrs。
  Francis on my side; but this received an immediate answer:  〃She
  scorned to overcharge gentlemen; her house had been always
  frequented by the very best gentry of the island; and she had
  never had a bill found fault with in her life; though she had
  lived upwards of forty years in the house; and within that time
  the greatest gentry in Hampshire had been at it; and that lawyer
  Willis never went to any other when he came to those parts。  That
  for her part she did not get her livelihood by travelers; who
  were gone and away; and she never expected to see them more; but
  that her neighbors might come again; wherefore; to be sure; they
  had the only right to complain。〃
  She was proceeding thus; and from her volubility of tongue seemed
  likely to stretch the discourse to an immoderate length; when I
  suddenly cut all short by paying the bill。
  This morning our ladies went to church; more; I fear; from
  curiosity than religion; they were attended by the captain in a
  most military attire; with his cockade in his hat and his sword
  by his side。  So unusual an appearance in this little chapel drew
  the attention of all present; and probably disconcerted the
  women; who were in dishabille; and wished themselves dressed; for
  the sake of the curate; who was the greatest of their beholders。
  While I was left alone I received a visit from Mr。 Francis
  himself; who was much more considerable as a farmer than as an
  inn…holder。  Indeed; he left the latter entirely to the care of
  his wife; and he acted wisely; I believe; in so doing。  As
  nothing more remarkable passed on this day I will close it with
  the account of these two characters; as far as a few days'
  residence could inform me of them。  If they should appear as new
  to the reader as they did to me; he will not be displeased at
  finding them here。  This amiable couple seemed to border hard on
  their grand climacteric; nor indeed were they shy of owning
  enough to fix their ages within a year or two of that time。  They
  appeared to be rather proud of having employed their time well
  than ashamed of having lived so long; the only reason which I
  could ever assign why some fine ladies; and fine gentlemen too;
  should desire to be thought younger than they really are by the
  contemporaries of their grandchildren。  Some; indeed; who too
  hastily credit appearances; might doubt whether they had made so
  good a use of their time as I would insinuate; since there was no
  appearance of anything but poverty; want; and wretchedness; about
  their house; nor could they produce anything to a customer in
  exchange for his money but a few bottles of wind; and spirituous
  liquors; and some very bad ale; to drink; with rusty bacon and
  worse cheese to eat。  But then it should be considered; on the
  other side; that whatever they received was almost as entirely
  clear profit as the blessing of a wreck itself; such an inn being
  the very reverse of a coffee…house; for here you can neither sit
  for nothing nor have anything for your money。
  Again; as many marks of want abounded everywhere; so were the
  marks of antiquity visible。  Scarce anything was to be seen which
  had not some scar upon it; made by the hand of Time; not an
  utensil; it was manifest; had been purchased within a dozen years
  last past; so that whatever money had come into the house during
  that period at least must have remained in it; unless it had been
  sent abroad for food; or other perishable commodities; but these
  were supplied by a small portion of the fruits of the farm; in
  which the farmer allowed he had a very good bargain。  In fact; it
  is inconceivable what sums may be collected by starving only; and
  how easy it is for a man to die rich if he will but be contented
  to live miserable。
  Nor is there in this kind of starving anything so terrible as
  some apprehend。  It neither wastes a man's flesh nor robs him of
  his cheerfulness。  The famous Cornaro's case well proves the
  contrary; and so did farmer Francis; who was of a round stature;
  had a plump; round face; with a kind of smile on it; and seemed
  to borrow an air of wretchedness rather from his coat's age than
  from his own。
  The truth is; there is a certain diet which emaciates men more
  than any possible degree of abstinence; though I do not remember
  to have seen any caution against it; either in Cheney; Arbuthnot;
  or in any other modern writer or regimen。
  Nay; the very name is not; I believe; in the learned Dr。 James's
  Dictionary; all which is the more extraordinary as it is a very
  common food in this kingdom; and the college themselves were not
  long since very liberally entertained with it by the present
  attorney and other eminent lawyers in Lincoln's…inn…hall; and
  were all made horribly sick by it。
  But though it should not be found among our English physical
  writers; we may be assured of meeting with it among the Greeks;
  for nothing considerable in nature escapes their notice; though
  many things considerable in them; it is to be feared; have
  escaped the notice of their readers。  The Greeks; then; to all
  such as feed too voraciously on this diet; give the name of
  HEAUTOFAGI; which our physicians will; I suppose; translate MEN
  THAT EAT THEMSELVES。
  As nothing is so destructive to the body as this kind of food;
  so nothing is so plentiful and cheap; but it was perhaps the only
  cheap thing the farmer disliked。  Probably living much on fish
  might produce this disgust; for Diodorus Siculus attributes the
  same aversion in a people of Ethiopia to the same cause; he calls
  them the fish…eaters; and asserts that they cannot be brought to
  eat a single meal with the Heautofagi by any persuasion; threat;
  or violence whatever; not even though they should kill their
  children before their faces。
  What hath puzzled our physicians; and prevented them from setting
  this matter in the clearest light; is possibly one simple
  mistake; arising from a very excusable ignorance; that the
  passions of men are capable of swallowing food as well as their
  appetites; that the former; in feeding; resemble the state of
  those animals who chew the cud; and therefore; such men; in some
  sense; may be said to prey on themselves; and as it were to
  devour their own entrails。  And hence ensues a meager aspect and
  thin habit of body; as surely as from what is called a
  consumption。  Our farmer was one of these。  He had no more
  passion than an Ichthuofagus or Ethiopian fisher。  He wished not
  for anything; thought not of anything; indeed; he scarce did
  anything or said anything。  Here I cannot be understood strictly;
  for then I must describe a nonentity; whereas I would rob him of