ERMYNTRUDE　＇shocked＇。　Oh；　Captain！　Take　care！　Incadisparagement。
  THE　INCA。　I　repeat；　grossly　overrated。　Strictly　between
  ourselves；　I　do　not　believe　all　this　about　Providence　entrusting
  the　care　of　sixty　million　human　beings　to　the　abilities　of　Chips
  and　the　Piffler　and　Jack　Johnson。　I　believe　in　individual　genius。
  That　is　the　Inca's　secret。　It　must　be。　Why；　hang　it　all；　madam；
  if　it　were　a　mere　family　matter；　the　Inca's　uncle　would　have　been
  as　great　a　man　as　the　Inca。　Andwell；　everybody　knows　what　the
  Inca's　uncle　was。
  ERMYNTRUDE。　My　experience　is　that　the　relatives　of　men　of　genius
  are　always　the　greatest　duffers　imaginable。
  THE　INCA。　Precisely。　That　is　what　proves　that　the　Inca　is　a　man
  of　genius。　His　relatives　ARE　duffers。
  ERMYNTRUDE。　But　bless　my　soul；　Captain；　if　all　the　Inca's
  generals　are　incapables；　and　all　his　relatives　duffers；　Perusalem
  will　be　beaten　in　the　war；　and　then　it　will　become　a　republic；
  like　France　after　1871；　and　the　Inca　will　be　sent　to　St　Helena。
  THE　INCA　＇triumphantly＇。　That　is　just　what　the　Inca　is　playing
  for；　madam。　It　is　why　he　consented　to　the　war。
  ERMYNTRUDE。　What！
  THE　INCA。　Aha！　The　fools　talk　of　crushing　the　Inca；　but　they
  little　know　their　man。　Tell　me　this。　Why　did　St　Helena　extinguish
  Napoleon？
  ERMYNTRUDE。　I　give　it　up。
  THE　INCA。　Because；　madam；　with　certain　rather　remarkable
  qualities；　which　I　should　be　the　last　to　deny；　Napoleon　lacked
  versatility。　After　all；　any　fool　can　be　a　soldier：　we　know　that
  only　too　well　in　Perusalem；　where　every　fool　is　a　soldier。　But
  the　Inca　has　a　thousand　other　resources。　He　is　an　architect。
  Well；　St　Helena　presents　an　unlimited　field　to　the　architect。　He
  is　a　painter：　need　I　remind　you　that　St　Helena　is　still　without　a
  National　Gallery？　He　is　a　composer：　Napoleon　left　no　symphonies
  in　St　Helena。　Send　the　Inca　to　St　Helena；　madam；　and　the　world
  will　crowd　thither　to　see　his　works　as　they　crowd　now　to　Athens
  to　see　the　Acropolis；　to　Madrid　to　see　the　pictures　of　Velasquez；
  to　Bayreuth　to　see　the　music　dramas　of　that　egotistical　old　rebel
  Richard　Wagner；　who　ought　to　have　been　shot　before　he　was　forty；
  as　indeed　he　very　nearly　was。　Take　this　from　me：　hereditary
  monarchs　are　played　out：　the　age　for　men　of　genius　has　come：　the
  career　is　open　to　the　talents：　before　ten　years　have　elapsed
  every　civilized　country　from　the　Carpathians　to　the　Rocky
  Mountains　will　be　a　Republic。
  ERMYNTRUDE。　Then　goodbye　to　the　Inca。
  THE　INCA。　On　the　contrary；　madam；　the　Inca　will　then　have　his
  first　real　chance。　He　will　be　unanimously　invited　by　those
  Republics　to　return　from　his　exile　and　act　as　Superpresident　of
  all　the　republics。
  ERMYNTRUDE。　But　won't　that　be　a　come…down　for　him？　Think　of　it！
  after　being　Inca；　to　be　a　mere　President！
  THE　INCA。　Well；　why　not！　An　Inca　can　do　nothing。　He　is　tied　hand
  and　foot。　A　constitutional　monarch　is　openly　called　an
  India…rubber　stamp。　An　emperor　is　a　puppet。　The　Inca　is　not
  allowed　to　make　a　speech：　he　is　compelled　to　take　up　a　screed　of
  flatulent　twaddle　written　by　some　noodle　of　a　minister　and　read
  it　aloud。　But　look　at　the　American　President！　He　is　the
  Allerhochst；　if　you　like。　No；　madam；　believe　me；　there　is　nothing
  like　Democracy；　American　Democracy。　Give　the　people　voting
  papers：　good　long　voting　papers；　American　fashion；　and　while　the
  people　are　reading　the　voting　papers　the　Government　does　what　it
  likes。
  ERMYNTRUDE。　What！　You　too　worship　before　the　statue　of　Liberty；
  like　the　Americans？
  THE　INCA。　Not　at　all；　madam。　The　Americans　do　not　worship　the
  statue　of　Liberty。　They　have　erected　it　in　the　proper　place　for　a
  statue　of　Liberty：　on　its　tomb　＇he　turns　down　his　moustaches。＇
  ERMYNTRUDE　＇laughing＇。　Oh！　You'd　better　not　let　them　hear　you　say
  that；　Captain。
  THE　INCA。　Quite　safe；　madam：　they　would　take　it　as　a　joke。　＇He
  rises。　And　now；　prepare　yourself　for　a　surprise。　＇She　rises＇。　A
  shock。　Brace　yourself。　Steel　yourself。　And　do　not　be　afraid。
  ERMYNTRUDE。　Whatever　on　earth　can　you　be　going　to　tell　me；
  Captain？
  THE　INCA。　Madam；　I　am　no　captain。　I
  ERMYNTRUDE。　You　are　the　Inca　in　disguise。
  THE　INCA。　Good　heavens！　how　do　you　know　that？　Who　has　betrayed
  me？
  ERMYNTRUDE。　How　could　I　help　divining　it；　Sir？　Who　is　there　in
  the　world　like　you？　Your　magnetism
  THE　INCA。　True：　I　had　forgotten　my　magnetism。　But　you　know　now
  that　beneath　the　trappings　of　Imperial　Majesty　there　is　a　Man：
  simple；　frank；　modest；　unaffected；　colloquial：　a　sincere　friend；
  a　natural　human　being；　a　genial　comrade；　one　eminently　calculated
  to　make　a　woman　happy。　You；　on　the　other　hand；　are　the　most
  charming　woman　I　have　ever　met。　Your　conversation　is　wonderful。　I
  have　sat　here　almost　in　silence；　listening　to　your　shrewd　and
  penetrating　account　of　my　character；　my　motives；　if　I　may　say　so；
  my　talents。　Never　has　such　justice　been　done　me：　never　have　I
  experienced　such　perfect　sympathy。　Will　youI　hardly　know　how　to
  put　thiswill　you　be　mine？
  ERMYNTRUDE。　Oh；　Sir；　you　are　married。
  THE　INCA。　I　am　prepared　to　embrace　the　Mahometan　faith；　which
  allows　a　man　four　wives；　if　you　will　consent。　It　will　please　the
  Turks。　But　I　had　rather　you　did　not　mention　it　to　the　Inca…ess。
  if　you　don't　mind。
  ERMYNTRUDE。　This　is　really　charming　of　you。　But　the　time　has　come
  for　me　to　make　a　revelation。　It　is　your　Imperial　Majesty's　turn
  now　to　brace　yourself。　To　steel　yourself。　I　am　not　the　princess。
  I　am
  THE　INCA。　The　daughter　of　my　old　friend　Archdeacon　Daffodil
  Donkin；　whose　sermons　are　read　to　me　every　evening　after　dinner。
  I　never　forget　a　face。
  ERMYNTRUDE。　You　knew　all　along！
  THE　INCA　＇bitterly；　throwing　himself　into　his　chair＇。　And　you
  supposed　that　I；　who　have　been　condemned　to　the　society　of
  princesses　all　my　wretched　life；　believed　for　a　moment　that　any
  princess　that　ever　walked　could　have　your　intelligence！
  ERMYNTRUDE。　How　clever　of　you；　Sir！　But　you　cannot　afford　to
  marry　me。
  THE　INCA　＇springing　up＇。　Why　not？
  ERMYNTRUDE。　You　are　too　poor。　You　have　to　eat　war　bread。　Kings
  nowadays　belong　to　the　poorer　classes。　The　King　of　England　does
  not　even　allow　himself　wine　at　dinner。
  THE　INCA　＇delighted＇。　Haw！　Ha　ha！　Haw！　haw！　＇He　is　convulsed　with
  laughter；　and　；finally　has　to　relieve　his　feelings　by　waltzing
  half　round　the　room。＇
  ERMYNTRUDE。　You　may　laugh；　Sir；　but　I　really　could　not　live　in
  that　style。　I　am　the　widow　of　a　millionaire；　ruined　by　your
  little　war。
  THE　INCA。　A　millionaire！　What　are　millionaires　now；　with　the
  world　crumbling？
  ERMYNTRUDE。　Excuse　me：　mine　was　a　hyphenated　millionaire。
  THE　INCA。　A　highfalutin　millionaire；　you　mean。　＇Chuckling＇。　Haw！
  ha　ha！　really　very　nearly　a　pun；　that。　＇He　sits　down　in　her
  chair。＇
  ERMYNTRUDE　＇revolted；　sinking　into　his　chair＇。　I　think　it　quite
  the　worst　pun　I　ever　heard。
  THE　INCA。　The　best　puns　have　all　been　made　years　ago：　nothing
  remained　but　to　achieve　the　worst。　However；　madam　＇he　rises
  majestically；　and　she　is　about　to　rise　also＇。　No：　I　prefer　a
  seated　audience　＇she　falls　back　into　her　seat　at　the　imperious
  wave　of　his　hand＇。　So　＇he　clicks　his　heels＇。　Madam；　I　recognize
  my　presumption　in　having　sought　the　honor　of　your　hand。　As　you
  say；　I　cannot　afford　it。　Victorious　as　I　am；　I　am　hopelessly
  bankrupt；　and　the　worst　of　it　is；　I　am　intelligent　enough　to　know
  it。　And　I　shall　be　beaten　in　consequence；　because　my　most
  implacable　enemy；　though　only　a　few　months　further　away　from
  bankruptcy　than　myself；　has　not　a　ray　of　intelligence；　and　will
  go　on　fighting　until　civilization　is　destroyed；　unless　I；　out　of
  sheer　pity　for　the　world；　condescend　to　capitulate。
  ERMYNTRUDE。　The　sooner　the　better；　Sir。　Many　fine　young　men　are
  dying　while　you　wait。
  THE　INCA　＇flinching　painfully＇。　Why？　Why　do　they　do　it？
  ERMYNTRUDE。　Because　you　make　them。
  THE　INCA。　Stuff！　How　can　I？　I　am　only　one　man；　and　they　are
  millions。　Do　you　suppose　they　would　really　kill　each　other　if
  they　didn't　want　to；　merely　for　the　sake　of　my　beautiful　eyes？　Do
  not　be　deceived　by　newspaper　claptrap；　madam。　I　was　swept　away　by
  a　passion　not　my　own；　which　imposed　itself　on　me。　By　myself　I　am
  nothing。　I　dare　not　walk　down　the　principal　street　of　my　own
  capital　in　a　coat　two　years　old；　though　the　sweeper　of　that
  street　can　wear　one　ten　years　old。　You　talk　of　death　as　an
  unpopular　thing。　You　are　wrong：　for　years　I　gave　them　art；
  literature；　science；　prosperity；　that　they　might　live　more
  abundantly；　and　they　hated　me；　ridiculed　me；　caricatured
  me。　Now　that　I　give　them　death　in　its　frightfullest　forms；　they
  are　devoted　to　me。　If　you　doubt　me；　ask　those　who　for　years　have
  begged　our　taxpayers　in　vain　for　a　few　paltry　thousands　to　spend
  on　Life：　on　the　bodies　and　minds　of　the　nation's　children；　on　the
  beauty　and　healthfulness　of　its　cities；　on　the　honor　and　comfort
  of　its　worn…out　workers。　They　refused：　and　because　they　refused；
  death　is　let　loose　on　them。　They　grudged　a　few　hundreds　a　year
  for　their　salvation：　they　now　pay　millions　a　day　for　their　own
  destruction　and　damnation。　And　this　they　call　my　doing！　Let　them
  say　it；　if　they　dare；　before　the　judgment…seat　at　which　they　and
  I　shall　answer　at　last　for　what　we　have　left　undone　no　less　than
  for　what　we　have　done。　＇Pulling　himself