第 97 节
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them all; the satisfaction of a sleepless night。 Mrs。 Dashwood; too
happy to be comfortable; knew not how to love Edward; nor praise
Elinor enough; how to be enough thankful for his release without
wounding his delicacy; nor how at once to give them leisure for
unrestrained conversation together; and yet enjoy; as she wished;
the sight and society of both。
Marianne could speak her happiness only by tears。
Comparisons would occur—regrets would arise;—and her joy;
though sincere as her love for her sister; was of a kind to give her
neither spirits nor language。
But Elinor—how are her feelings to be described?—From the
moment of learning that Lucy was married to another; that
Edward was free; to the moment of his justifying the hopes which
had so instantly followed; she was every thing by turns but
tranquil。 But when the second moment had passed; when she
found every doubt; every solicitude removed; compared her
situation with what so lately it had been;—saw him honourably
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released from his former engagement; saw him instantly profiting
by the release; to address herself and declare an affection as
tender; as constant as she had ever supposed it to be;—she was
oppressed; she was overcome by her own felicity;—and happily
disposed as is the human mind to be easily familiarized with any
change for the better; it required several hours to give sedateness
to her spirits; or any degree of tranquillity to her heart。
Edward was now fixed at the cottage at least for a week;—for
whatever other claims might be made on him; it was impossible
that less than a week should be given up to the enjoyment of
Elinor’s company; or suffice to say half that was to be said of the
past; the present; and the future;—for though a very few hours
spent in the hard labour of incessant talking will dispatch more
subjects than can really be in common between any two rational
creatures; yet with lovers it is different。 Between them no subject is
finished; no communication is even made; till it has been made at
least twenty times over。
Lucy’s marriage; the unceasing and reasonable wonder among
them all; formed of course one of the earliest discussions of the
lovers;—and Elinor’s particular knowledge of each party made it
appear to her in every view; as one of the most extraordinary and
unaccountable circumstances she had ever heard。 How they could
be thrown together; and by what attraction Robert could be drawn
on to marry a girl; of whose beauty she had herself heard him
speak without any admiration;—a girl too already engaged to his
brother; and on whose account that brother had been thrown off
by his family—it was beyond her comprehension to make out。 To
her own heart it was a delightful affair; to her imagination it was
even a ridiculous one; but to her reason; her judgment; it was
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completely a puzzle。
Edward could only attempt an explanation by supposing; that
perhaps at first accidentally meeting; the vanity of the one had
been so worked on by the flattery of the other; as to lead by
degrees to all the rest。 Elinor remembered what Robert had told
her in Harley…street; of his opinion of what his own mediation in
his brother’s affairs might have done; if applied to in time。 She
repeated it to Edward。
“That was exactly like Robert;”—was his immediate
observation。—“And that;” he presently added; “might perhaps be
in his head when the acquaintance between them first began。 And
Lucy perhaps at first might think only of procuring his good
offices in my favour。 Other designs might afterwards arise。”
How long it had been carrying on between them; however; he
was equally at a loss with herself to make out; for at Oxford; where
he had remained for choice ever since his quitting London; he had
had no means of hearing of her but from herself; and her letters to
the very last were neither less frequent; nor less affectionate than
usual。 Not the smallest suspicion; therefore; had ever occurred to
prepare him for what followed;—and when at last it burst on him
in a letter from Lucy herself; he had been for some time; he
believed; half stupified between the wonder; the horror; and the
joy of such a deliverance。 He put the letter into Elinor’s hands。
Dear Sir;
Being very sure I have long lost your affections; I have thought
myself at liberty to bestow my own on another; and have no doubt
of being as happy with him as I once used to think I might be with
you; but I scorn to accept a hand while the heart was another’s。
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Sincerely wish you happy in your choice; and it shall not be my
fault if we are not always good friends; as our near relationship
now makes proper。 I can safely say I owe you no ill…will; and am
sure you will be too generous to do us any ill offices。 Your brother
has gained my affections entirely; and as we could not live without
one another; we are just returned from the altar; and are now on
our way to Dawlish for a few weeks; which place your dear brother
has great curiosity to see; but thought I would first trouble you
with these few lines; and shall always remain;
Your sincere well…wisher; friend; and sister;
LUCY FERRARS。
I have burnt all your letters; and will return your picture the
first opportunity。 Please to destroy my scrawls—but the ring with
my hair you are very welcome to keep。
Elinor read and returned it without any comment。
“I will not ask your opinion of it as a composition;” said
Edward。—“For worlds would not I have had a letter of hers seen
by you in former days。—In a sister it is bad enough; but in a
wife!—how I have blushed over the pages of her writing!—and I
believe I may say that since the first half year of our foolish—
business—this is the only letter I ever received from her; of which
the substance made me any amends for the defect of the style。”
“However it may have come about;” said Elinor; after a
pause;—“they are certainly married。 And your mother has
brought on herself a most appropriate punishment。 The
independence she settled on Robert; through resentment against
you; has put it in his power to make his own choice; and she has
actually been bribing one son with a thousand a…year; to do the
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very deed which she disinherited the other for intending to do。
She will hardly be less hurt; I suppose; by Robert’s marrying Lucy;
than she would have been by your marrying her。”
“She will be more hurt by it; for Robert always was her
favourite。—She will be more hurt by it; and on the same principle
will forgive him much sooner。”
In what state the affair stood at present between them; Edward
knew not; for no communication with any of his family had yet
been attempted by him。 He had quitted Oxford within four and
twenty hours after Lucy’s letter arrived; and with only one object
before him; the nearest road to Barton; had had no leisur