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she was always a very handsome young lady—and she seemed
vastly contented。”
Mrs。 Dashwood could think of no other question; and Thomas
and the table…cloth; now alike needless; were soon afterwards
dismissed。 Marianne had already sent to say; that she should eat
nothing more。 Mrs。 Dashwood’s and Elinor’s appetites were
equally lost; and Margaret might think herself very well off; that
with so much uneasiness as both her sisters had lately
experienced; so much reason as they had often had to be careless
of their meals; she had never been obliged to go without her
dinner before。
When the dessert and the wine were arranged; and Mrs。
Dashwood and Elinor were left by themselves; they remained long
together in a similarity of thoughtfulness and silence。 Mrs。
Dashwood feared to hazard any remark; and ventured not to offer
consolation。 She now found that she had erred in relying on
Elinor’s representation of herself; and justly concluded that every
thing had been expressly softened at the time; to spare her from
an increase of unhappiness; suffering as she then had suffered for
Marianne。 She found that she had been misled by the careful; the
considerate attention of her daughter; to think the attachment;
which once she had so well understood; much slighter in reality;
than she had been wont to believe; or than it was now proved to
be。 She feared that under this persuasion she had been unjust;
inattentive; nay; almost unkind; to her Elinor;—that Marianne’s
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affliction; because more acknowledged; more immediately before
her; had too much engrossed her tenderness; and led her away to
forget that in Elinor she might have a daughter suffering almost as
much; certainly with less self…provocation; and greater fortitude。
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CHAPTER XII
linor now found the difference between the expectation of
an unpleasant event; however certain the mind may be
E
told to consider it; and certainty itself。 She now found;
that in spite of herself; she had always admitted a hope; while
Edward remained single; that something would occur to prevent
his marrying Lucy; that some resolution of his own; some
mediation of friends; or some more eligible opportunity of
establishment for the lady; would arise to assist the happiness of
all。 But he was now married; and she condemned her heart for the
lurking flattery; which so much heightened the pain of the
intelligence。
That he should be married soon; before (as she imagined) he
could be in orders; and consequently before he could be in
possession of the living; surprised her a little at first。 But she soon
saw how likely it was that Lucy; in her self…provident care; in her
haste to secure him; should overlook every thing but the risk of
delay。 They were married; married in town; and now hastening
down to her uncle’s。 What had Edward felt on being within four
miles from Barton; on seeing her mother’s servant; on hearing
Lucy’s message!
They would soon; she supposed; be settled at Delaford。—
Delaford;—that place in which so much conspired to give her an
interest; which she wished to be acquainted with; and yet desired
to avoid。 She saw them in an instant in their parsonage…house; saw
in Lucy; the active; contriving manager; uniting at once a desire of
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smart appearance with the utmost frugality; and ashamed to be
suspected of half her economical practices;—pursuing her own
interest in every thought; courting the favour of Colonel Brandon;
of Mrs。 Jennings; and of every wealthy friend。 In Edward—she
knew not what she saw; nor what she wished to see;—happy or
unhappy;—nothing pleased her; she turned away her head from
every sketch of him。
Elinor flattered herself that some one of their connections in
London would write to them to announce the event; and give
farther particulars;—but day after day passed off; and brought no
letter; no tidings。 Though uncertain that any one were to blame;
she found fault with every absent friend。 They were all thoughtless
or indolent。
“When do you write to Colonel Brandon; ma’am?” was an
inquiry which sprung from the impatience of her mind to have
something going on。
“I wrote to him; my love; last week; and rather expect to see;
than to hear from him again。 I earnestly pressed his coming to us;
and should not be surprised to see him walk in today or tomorrow;
or any day。”
This was gaining something; something to look forward to。
Colonel Brandon must have some information to give。
Scarcely had she so determined it; when the figure of a man on
horseback drew her eyes to the window。 He stopt at their gate。 It
was a gentleman; it was Colonel Brandon himself。 Now she could
hear more; and she trembled in expectation of it。 But—it was not
Colonel Brandon—neither his air—nor his height。 Were it
possible; she must say it must be Edward。 She looked again。 He
had just dismounted;—she could not be mistaken;—it was
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Edward。 She moved away and sat down。 “He comes from Mr。
Pratt’s purposely to see us。 I will be calm; I will be mistress of
myself。”
In a moment she perceived that the others were likewise aware
of the mistake。 She saw her mother and Marianne change colour;
saw them look at herself; and whisper a few sentences to each
other。 She would have given the world to be able to speak—and to
make them understand that she hoped no coolness; no slight;
would appear in their behaviour to him;—but she had no
utterance; and was obliged to leave all to their own discretion。
Not a syllable passed aloud。 They all waited in silence for the
appearance of their visitor。 His footsteps were heard along the
gravel path; in a moment he was in the passage; and in another he
was before them。
His countenance; as he entered the room; was not too happy;
even for Elinor。 His complexion was white with agitation; and he
looked as if fearful of his reception; and conscious that he merited
no kind one。 Mrs。 Dashwood; however; conforming; as she trusted;
to the wishes of that daughter; by whom she then meant in the
warmth of her heart to be guided in every thing; met with a look of
forced complacency; gave him her hand; and wished him joy。
He coloured; and stammered out an unintelligible reply。
Elinor’s lips had moved with her mother’s; and; when the moment
of action was over; she wished that she had shaken hands with
him too。 But it was then too late; and with a countenance meaning
to be open; she sat down again and talked of the weather。
Marianne had retreated as much as possible out of sight; to
conceal her distress; and Margaret; understanding some part; but
not the whole of the case; thought it incumbent on her to be
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